A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.
Chapter Summary: Louise has a nightmare; after church, Louise and Florence have a private discussion.
Chapter 5: Day Three
Sunday, November 25, 2001
"Oh George, I'm going to be sick," said a tearful Louise at two minutes to four early that Sunday morning. And George quickly responded by grabbing the small waste basket by his bedside and holding it for Louise, lovingly rubbing her back while she vomited. Several minutes earlier, Louise had been crying and screaming because of a horrific nightmare of the hellhole she'd been having, and George had been trying to help her relax. And unfortunately, it was not uncommon for Louise's nightmares to make her sick. "I'm sorry," Louise gasped a couple of minutes later when the vomiting stopped, as George set the waste basket down on the floor again.
"Don't you dare apologize to me for anything, sweetheart," George whispered so lovingly as he took Louise into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "It was my selfishness and my stupidity that put you in that hellhole in the first place. The only person who needs to be apologizin', here, is me, not you. And I'm sorry, Weez. I am so sorry. You're still sufferin' so much, even after all these years, and I know it's my fault. I'd take it all for you in a heartbeat if I could, Weezy. I really would."
"I know you would, George. I know," Louise said kindly, her head resting on George's chest as she continued trembling in his arms.
"Baby, are you hurting?" asked George, and Louise nodded.
"It hurts," she gasped as tears streamed down her cheeks. Often when Louise relived the breaking of her legs in her nightmares of the hellhole, it caused her to suffer the same agonizing leg pain all over again, and that really tore George apart. George then gave Louise the longest kiss, and he just kissed her all over her face and forehead over and over again, and he continued to hold her close and cry with her. They both knew by now that Louise's intense leg pain was caused by her traumatic memories of the hellhole, not by physical causes, and that no amount of pain pills would help. The only kind of medicine that could help Louise now was the medicine of love, warmth, and tenderness.
"Okay," George whispered. "I'm here, Weezy. I'm right here with you now and I ain't goin' nowhere. We're gonna get rid of the pain, baby. We're gonna get through this, just like we've done so many times before."
"I know," Louise whispered through her tears.
"I know it's really hard to do, baby, but try to think about somethin' besides the hellhole right now. Try to think of a happy memory and focus on that instead. Like, uh…oh, I know. Remember the big Christmas party you threw for everybody at the Help Center last year? You did everything. You picked the caterer. You took care of the decorations and the music. You did such a beautiful job. Everybody had such a great time that night, and it was all because of you."
Louise nodded and said, "I remember. I was so busy with all my work at the Help Center and I was so busy making last-minute arrangements for the party that I almost didn't have a chance to go shopping for my new dress."
"You mean that red dress you wore at the party that night?" George asked with a loving smile, fondly remembering it.
"Uh huh."
"I never will forget it. You looked so amazing at the Christmas party that night, Weezy. You were so beautiful."
"You really think so?"
"Of course. I loved seein' you in that dress that night. It reminded me of that day when you came into my office after I hadn't seen you in all those years, all dolled up, wearin' that incredible red dress while you were tellin' me off and puttin' me in my place," said George, and Louise laughed softly. "You know somethin' baby?"
"What?"
"In all the time that we've known each other, all these years that we've been together, I don't think you ever looked more beautiful to me than you did on that wonderful day that you finally came back into my life again, wearin' that red dress. If I live a thousand years, I'll never forget it."
"Oh, George," Louise whispered.
After giving Louise another very long kiss, George stroked her cheek and asked her, "How's the pain, baby? Is it gettin' any better?"
Louise nodded and said, "It's starting to get better. I'm trying to focus on other things like you said. Like the red dress I wore that day that I came back to New York. And the Christmas party last year."
"You're doin' great, Weezy. You're doin' just great," George told her gently as he started rocking her. He knew that holding Louise, speaking softly to her, and rocking her in his arms were the things that brought her the greatest comfort after reliving the hellhole in one of her nightmares.
Several long moments later, Louise said, "It's going away."
"The pain?" questioned George, and Louise responded with a nod. Then after another long, sweet kiss, George whispered to Louise, "I love you, baby. I love you so much."
"I love you too, George. Thank you for all your help. I think I'll be alright now."
"You want me to get you a tranquilizer or a sleeping pill to help you get back to sleep?" George asked, and Louise shook her head.
"No, I don't think I'll need it. I just need you to stay with me; I need you to keep lying next to me and keep holding me like this, okay?"
"Of course I will, baby," George whispered, and then after one last kiss, they turned off their lamps, and Louise soon fell asleep once again, lying in her husband's arms.
"Ms. Jefferson, I'm worried about you," Florence told Louise as they sat at the kitchen table together twelve hours later. "Ever since you got back from Haven Lake, you just haven't been yourself. Something's bothering you. Something's wrong. I can see it. It seems like every time I look at you here lately, you're on the verge of tears. And I could see you cryin' at church earlier today."
Louise nodded and said, "You're right, Florence. I have been pretty emotional here lately. And I know I was emotional at church, too. Have you ever had times when you were at church, and the Bible verses the pastor read during the sermon were exactly what you needed to hear?"
"I sure have, child. Lots of times."
"Well it happened to me today. I've been going through some heavy things here lately, and when the pastor read from the Bible how Jesus said that in His Father's house, there were many mansions, and how He went to prepare a place for us, and how He was going to come back for us and take us to where He is, it was precisely what I needed to hear. It really helped me."
"I think I understand. Because of that heart attack you had earlier this year, you're scared that somethin' is gonna happen to you," Florence concluded as she lovingly put her hand on top of Louise's hand. "But I want you to stop worryin', Ms. Jefferson, because nothin' is gonna happen to you. Mr. Jefferson and I are always gonna be takin' good care of you. We're always gonna look out for you no matter what. You're gonna be just fine."
After a very long pause, Louise began to sense it from the Holy Spirit that He wanted her to confide in Florence about what was happening. She then lovingly squeezed Florence's hand, looked into her eyes, and told her truthfully, "Something is going to happen to me, Florence. By the end of this week…I will, most likely, be killed."
"What?" Florence gasped. And over the next several minutes, Louise explained the entire situation to her live-in maid and dear friend.
"So you wanted to know what it is that's been making me so emotional lately," Louise told Florence then. "Now you know."
"Ms. Jefferson, I just don't understand how you could keep somethin' like this from Mr. Jefferson," a very tearful Florence complained. "I understand your worries about Mr. Jefferson goin' after him and all, but you can't keep somethin' like this a secret from him. You've got to tell him. Your safety is at stake. Your life is at stake."
"My safety and my life are beside the point. With a beast like that spying on the family all the time, hanging around here all the time, everybody's safety and lives are at stake, Florence. He's a rabid dog, and until somebody steps up to the plate and takes that rabid dog out, everybody in this building is constantly in danger twenty-four seven, and so are my children. George isn't safe. The girls aren't safe. You aren't safe. Mr. Bentley isn't safe. The Willises aren't safe. Not even Ralph the doorman is safe. And when I go to confront that rabid dog this Friday night, the point of my mission is not to keep myself safe from him. Stopping him from ever hurting or killing another person…that is the point."
Florence fervently shook her head, continuing to cry, and she said, "No, Ms. Jefferson. You can't do this. You've been hurt too much. You've been through too much. You can't put yourself through something like this."
"Florence, you have always been the most no-nonsense person I have ever known, and I need that quality in you now more than ever because this situation that I'm facing is very grave. Lives are at stake."
"Including yours," said Florence as even more tears filled her eyes.
"And my husband's."
"I can't let you do somethin' like this, Ms. Jefferson. I can't let anything happen to you. I've got to tell Mr. Jefferson. I've just got to," Florence insisted.
After a long pause, Louise looked at Florence and asked, "Florence…do you know how it says in the Bible that when a man and a woman get married, they become one flesh?"
"Yes, ma'am. But with all due respect, what does that have to do with all of this?"
"Everything. When I married George as a young girl, he and I became one flesh. We joined our lives together. We merged our very identities together. We became one. And when something hurts one of us, it hurts the other just as bad, if not worse. Do you have any idea just how painful it is to take a beating, Florence? Do you have any clue just how agonizing it is for someone to break your bones? Do you know what rape does to you, not just physically, but on the inside?"
As even more tears continued streaming down her cheeks, Florence told Louise honestly, "No."
"Well I do. All these years, it's been my deepest fear that I would somehow end up back in the hellhole with him, being beaten and raped and getting my bones broken all over again. But when he finally came back into my life three weeks ago, I realized that there was one thing in life I feared even more than being tortured by him again myself, and that's seeing him torture someone I love. When he suddenly came back, I realized that as terrified as I've always been of going back to the hellhole, I would go back there in a New York minute, and I would stay there for hundreds of years, if it would protect George from going through what I've gone through. In my heart, I can take being tortured again, but I can't take the thought of it happening to George. If George got beaten and broken and raped like I did, it would hurt me far worse than going through it again myself. And that's the God's honest truth, Florence. Don't you see? That's why I need you to help me keep this from George and from the rest of the family. That's why I need you to let me be the one to deal with this and not George. Because letting him get hurt the way I did would destroy me on the inside, Florence. It really would. Do you understand?"
"Oh, Ms. Jefferson," Florence gasped, and then she gave Louise a ferocious hug while sobbing. And after she finally settled down a few moments later, she looked at Louise and told her, "You know, Ms. Jefferson, I've done a lot of talkin' all these years about how tough and no-nonsense I am, but it's all just a bunch of talk, nothin' more. I talked a good game and I was good at pretendin' to be all tough and strong, but I ain't nothin' compared to you. You are the toughest, strongest woman I ever met. You are the most courageous human being I've ever had the privilege to know. And I know how I am. I know I can get all smug and I know I can get too full of myself sometimes. And it ain't just anybody who can humble Florence Johnston. But you do humble me, Ms. Jefferson."
Unable to say anything, Louise simply reached out and hugged Florence a second time, and they just clung to one another and cried together for so long. Then finally, Louise asked, "So will you help me, Florence? Will you keep my secret and help me get through this week?"
Florence responded with a tearful nod, and once again, they hugged.
Florence remained uncharacteristically quiet through the rest of the day, and after they all ate supper and she cleaned up the kitchen and the dining room, she locked herself away in her bedroom, trying to distract herself by watching TV. Louise remained almost as quiet through the rest of that Sunday as Florence did, as she read chapters fourteen and fifteen of the Gospel of John over and over again, drawing great comfort from them. And after saying her bedtime prayers with George, Louise picked up her small calendar and her pen, crossed off another day, set her calendar and pen back down on her nightstand, turned off her lamp, and went to sleep.