Alright we are five chapters in now! I hope you are all enjoying reading this story as much as I am writing it. Please continue to review it! Your comments are encouraging and I appreciate the feedback! Well onto a much anticipated chapter!
Sara woke up early that morning, well, she didn't sleep, but she crawled out of bed at about 6am. She poured herself a fresh cup of coffee and attempted to prepare herself for the conversation she was dreading this morning. She was worried about what Gil would say and how at the end of the day it would effect Henry. Would Gil want to file for joint custody or would he run away? He seems to still be just as good at as he was four years ago. Sara sighed and took another sip. It was going to be a long morning.
Gil on the other side of town, couldn't sleep either. His thoughts were filled with the questions of his ex-wife and their son and what was he going to do. How was he going to address the elephant in the room and how was he going to take on his duties? I have to do something. I need to know my son and he needs to know me, but I need to make sure that Sara is okay with that happening too. I hurt her too and I will be coming back into both of their lives. She has to be okay too. Gil sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before sitting on the hotel bed once again.
Sara had texted him yesterday telling him to meet her at a diner in Henderson. She wants us to not have listening ears. Gil understood. They were going to need some time to sort this out themselves without their friends overhearing it at Frank's or being told about it by employees. This was their decision to make and they needed the privacy to it. Gil drove to the diner and parked his car. He arrived a little early to give himself a moment of silence before he tried to have a difficult conversation. This was going to take a lot of him being willing to communicate with Sara which was something he was never really good at. It meant he had to expose his feelings and let them be known. He shook his head. He remembered the conversation with Heather years ago about how the one thing he feared was being known. She was right all those years ago, but something had to change for him if he was going to have a relationship with his son. He had to be willing to let Sara in, but he feared he once again was too late. She had moved on from their marriage, but he honestly couldn't blame her if she had. He hadn't explained well and instead he quit because he got scared. He had never had to compromise in his adult life and even when they got married he rarely did. That was a big part of the end, but he had to pull himself together. He needed to stay sane to have this conversation and he couldn't go riding the emotional rollercoaster right now. He saw Sara's old Prius pull up so he waited for her to go inside before he unbuckled and got out of the car.
Sara was seated in a booth towards the back end of the diner. Gil approached her and sat down in the opposite booth. Sara looked at him and said, "thanks for coming this far out. I just figured this would maybe be a little easier." Gil nodded. "It was a wise choice, thank you." Sara sighed and took a sip out of her diner coffee mug. Gil ordered some eggs and toast and a coffee as well. Sara smiled, "some things still don't change." Gil nodded. "So, how is Henry today?" Gil asked cautiously. Sara smiled, he always was bad at small talk. "He's fine. Jack and Louis are taking him to school before work."Gil nodded. "Gil, I don't know how to have this conversation. Honestly, I thought after the divorce I'd never see you again." It stung. To hear her say that. She didn't trust him. "I think that's a fair response. I didn't exactly give you much to go on." Sara was surprised that he at least acknowledged the elephant in the room. He left; at least he knows that he was the one to pull the plug. Sara treaded carefully with her next question, "well, what are you looking for? At the end of the day, I want what is best for Henry so our relationship drama is ours, but I won't make it about him." Gil understood. She's had to grow up in ways I didn't; becoming a mother has changed her. She's doing her best to be the bigger person. Gil paused to think for a moment and choose his words carefully. "I would like a relationship with him, but I won't do that if it will be a hinderance to you. You have raised him and I just met him. You know what he needs more than I do." Gil paused for a moment before saying, "I want the chance to be his father, Sara." Sara sat back and took his small words in. He's leaving it up to me. He isn't going to fight me for him; he's trying to do what is best for both of us. Sara paused. "Well, are you looking for a more permanent relationship with him or are you planning on staying in California or wherever you are now? I am planning on staying here for the foreseeable future so we will be in Vegas." Gil nodded understanding what she was asking. "If you are willing to give me the opportunity, I would like to look into relocating. I want to be a part of his life, Sara. I want to know him. I've missed so much of his life already and I don't want to miss anymore." Sara was in many ways taken aback. Gil was being very free with his emotions. He was being honest about what he wanted in relationship to their son. He wanted to make it clear that he cared for Henry and in turn his happiness. Sara look at him, "I won't keep him from you. As long as you want what is best for him over anything else, I am willing to try and find an amicable solution."
Gil nodded. "I want him to be happy. He deserves the best of both of us." Sara nodded. "I think for now, we should have you come over to the house to play with him, so I can be there for now. You're still a stranger to him and I want him to get comfortable first before we start explaining some things to him." Gil nodded, "If you think that is what's best I can agree to that." Gil paused before asking his next question. "Sara, do you have any of his baby pictures left? What did he look like? I just I want to know." Gil trailed off. Sara paused and took out her wallet. She pulled out a small photo and handed it to Gil. Henry was wrapped in hospital blankets as a newborn. Gil smiled and attempted to fight back the tears that were trying to make their way out. "He's beautiful." Sara nodded, "Always has been and I think he always will be." She chuckled. Gil handed the picture back to her. She placed it in her wallet and then took out his new school photo. "Here, if you want one. It's his school picture and I think he just looks smart in it." Gil smiled and took the photo. "Thank you, Sara, for everything." Sara awkwardly took another sip of her coffee. "Alright well, I have to get going, but maybe you can come over tomorrow afternoon? I don't know what you are supposed to be doing on this case, but would that work for you?" Gil nodded, "I will make it a priority." Sara slid out of the booth and dropped some cash on the table. Gil stood up and said, "well have a good day, erm… I will see you soon I guess." Sara nodded and walked towards her car.
Gil sat back down. Why is it so hard for me to express my feelings to her? Gil shook his head. Why can't I tell her that I want her back too? I still love her. Gil shook his head. She was offering him a place in Henry's life and he needed to respect that she wasn't sure that was what she wanted or needed. He was given a place in his son's life and he needed to count that as the blessing it is. He needed to be willing to take the baby steps and appreciate them. Henry had to become his priority, if that happened then the rest would follow if it's meant to be.
For now, Gil needed to think and figure out how to proceed from here. He knew his feelings wouldn't be silenced no matter how hard he tried. Sara still had this power over him, but he needed to be willing to see what Henry needed more than his own emotions and feelings that he so rarely shared.