Chapter 7: A trip to the future
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or its characters, they are owned by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I only own Hector and Emily because they're my OCs. Any OC that isn't Hector or Emily is owned by their respective owners. I also do not own the song or lyrics featured, some lyrics might be changed. Anyways, enjoy.
It was a nice and sunny… Why do I even bother? Hector was at the abandoned South Park mall, putting the finishing touches on his latest project. Just then, his friends showed up, and his girlfriend Emily.
"Okay Hector, why did you want us to meet you here?" asked Cartman, who didn't like going into abandoned territories.
"Because Cartman, I have built the world's first… Time Machine!" said Hector, as he pulled off the tarp covering his project, revealing an elevator-shaped Time Machine. "So, what do you guys think?"
"Where do we begin?! I know. How the fuck did you afford this?!" asked Stan, who, along with Butters, Cartman, Kenny, Samantha, Wendy, Emily, and Bebe, was in shock.
"I didn't! My great grandfather left it to me in his will," said Hector.
"Does it even work?" asked Samantha.
"It does now. Come on, let's all see how we're doing in the future," said Hector, followed by everyone getting into the Time Machine. Hector then set coordinates for 30 years into the future, pressed the big red button, and, just like that, they were all in the future in less than 30 seconds.
"Holy smokes! It worked!" said Butters, as everyone got out of the Time Machine.
Everyone was amazed at what the future looked like. There were Alexas that were holograms, hoverboards that actually hovered, cars that were more environmentally friendly, and all of their friends and family were now older.
"Dude! This. is. AWESOME!" said Cartman, followed by him getting an idea. "I know, why don't we meet our future selves?!"
"(That's a great idea! But how are we going to find our future selves?)" asked Kenny. Just then, Hector got a tablet-like device from his Time Machine.
"Don't worry. I made this device to find our future selves. Let's start with Stan," said Hector, followed by him leading everyone to Future Stan's house (which was just his house before he moved to a farm). He then knocked on the door, which was answered by Future Stan.
"Hello? Hey, don't I know you kids?" asked Future Stan, who thought the kids looked familiar.
"Hello there, Future self," said Stan, causing his future self to smile.
"It's good to see you, past self. I guess Hector got that Time Machine working," said Future Stan, as he led the kids into his house.
"Yeah, pretty much," said Stan, right before he bumped into Future Samantha. "Oh, sorry… Samantha?!"
"That's my name. I guess today's the day we came into the future as kids," said Future Samantha. Stan then noticed a wedding ring on Future Samantha's ring finger, which she noticed. "Oh yeah, by the way, Stan and I are married." She then kissed her husband.
"I told you he'd marry you," said Emily, facing Samantha.
"Fine, here's your five dollars," said Samantha, as she gave Emily five dollars. Just then, a little girl with Samantha's skin and Stan's hair walked down the stairs.
"Mommy, Daddy? Who are those kids that look like you?" asked the little girl.
"That's because they're us from the past, Betty," said Future Samantha, as she gave her daughter a hug. (Before you ask, no this isn't a dream because they're adults, so they can have a kid… Don't judge me!)
"Everyone, this is our daughter, Betty Boogie Marsh. Say hi, sweetie," said Future Stan.
"Hi. I was named after a dream my uncle Hector had," said Betty, as she shook the hand of her dad's past self.
"It's nice to meet you Betty. Wait, when you say uncle Hector, do you mean Hector Garcia?" asked Stan, to which Betty nodded.
"Of course, he and his wife, Emily, are my godparents. My daddy never breaks a promise," said Betty.
"I thought that part was a dream?" said Cartman.
"My daddy made that promise after uncle Hector told him about the dream he had," said Betty.
"Oh that makes sense," said Butters.
"By the way Betty, do you know who Eric Cartman gets married to?" asked Cartman.
"Yeah, he got married to Wendy Testaburger. But now, she goes by Wendy Cartman," said Betty, causing Cartman and Wendy to look at each other while blushing. "Also, Kenny married Tammy, and Butters married Lola."
"Oh hamburgers! I guess Lola is a nice girl," said Butters.
"Oh, and Bebe marries Clyde. Since you're all caught up, I think it's time for you to go," said Betty.
"But wait, do me and Emily find our real families?" asked Hector.
"I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise," said Future Stan.
Modern day, when Hector wakes up…
"AHHH!" screamed Hector, as he woke up. "Emily, I just had the strangest dream."
"If it's about us time traveling, I keep telling you, that really happened," said Emily.
"Then that means… Cartman and Wendy do get married," said Hector, in shock.
At Cartman's house…
Cartman was at his house, staring at a photo of Wendy while he sat next to a fireplace.
Hellfire by Tony Jay, David Ogden Stiers, and English National Opera Company
Cartman's subconscious: Confiteor Deo Omnipotenti
Beatae Mariae semper Virginity
Beato Michaeli archangelo
Sanctis apostolis omnibus sanctis
Cartman (looking up at the sky): Beata Maria,
You know I am a righteous man
Of my virtue I am justly proud
Cartman's subconscious: (Et tibi Pater)
Cartman: Beata Maria
You know I'm so much purer than
The common vulgar, weak, licentious jew
Cartman's subconscious: (Quia peccavi nimis)
Cartman (seeing Wendy dance in the fire): Then tell me, Maria
Why I see her dancing there
Why her smoldering eyes still scorch my soul
Cartman's subconscious: (Cogitatione)
Cartman: I feel her, I see her
The sun caught in her raven hair
Is blazing in me out of all control
Cartman's subconscious: (Verbo et opere)
Cartman: Like fire
Hellfire
This fire in my skin
This burning
Desire
Is turning me to sin
It's not my fault
(Mea culpa)
I'm not to blame
(Mea culpa)
It is the hippie girl
The bitch who set this
(Mea maxima culpa)
It's not my fault
(Mea culpa)
If in God's plan
(Mea culpa)
He made the devil so much stronger than a man
(Mea maxima culpa)
Protect me, Maria
Don't let the siren cast her spell
Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone
Destroy Testaburger
And let her taste the fires of Hell!
Unless she will be mine and mine alone
Hector (as he walked into Cartman's house): Hey Eric, Heidi's breaking up with you.
Cartman: What?
Hector: She heard about your future with Wendy.
She's done.
Cartman (causing Hector to leave): But how? I… Never mind. Get out, you snitch! I'll find her! I'll find Wendy if I have to burn down all of South Park!
Cartman (as threw the picture into the fire): Hellfire
Dark fire
Now Wendy, it's your turn
Choose me or
Your pyre
Be mine or you will burn
(Kyrie Eleison)
God have mercy on her
(Kyrie Eleison)
God have mercy on me
(Kyrie Eleison)
But she will be mine
Or she will burn!
"Eric, are you here?" asked Butters, as he walked into Cartman's house.
"Yeah, I was just finishing a musical number," said Cartman, as he sat on his couch. "Butters, I need you to help me with something."
"Sure Eric, anything for one of my best friends. What do you need me to do?"
Cartman then whispered his plan to Butters.
One week after the plan…
"So, how are things going with you and Wendy?" asked Hector.
"They're going great. All I had to do was play a song for her, and she went out with me," said Cartman.
"Well, at least you're not treating her the same way as Heidi," said Stan, who was happy his ex-girlfriend found a new boyfriend.
"I mean he was going to but she slapped him before he could," said Hector.
"WHAT?!" said Stan, in shock.
"Bazinga!" said Hector, testing out his joke-telling skills. "You guys never see my practical jokes coming." That last part caused everyone to chuckle.
If you guys watch The Big Bang Theory, then you know where I got 'Bazinga' from. And yes, I know the musical numbers are out of place in South Park, but the first South Park movie was a musical so ha! Also, once I finish this series, I'll continue my Smurf stories. I just need to reach my 12 chapter limit.