We can do what we want
We can live as we choose
You see there's no guarantee
We got nothing to lose
Hermione
Hermione couldn't get her hands to stop shaking. The Great Hall looked back to normal, but it didn't feel normal to Hermione. She couldn't stop picturing the bodies of Fred, Lupin, and Tonks being laid out on the floor. How was everyone else carrying on as if nothing had happened. She hid her hands in her lap and tried to focus on what Professor McGonagall was saying. She tried the breathing exercises she was taught, focusing on every breath she took, trying to calm herself down. Having a panic attack in the middle of the Great Hall on the first day back to Hogwarts wasn't a good look.
She was taken out of her thoughts when everyone around her erupted in polite applause. Hermione joined in just to blend in, to make sure no one could see her struggle.
Hermione was sitting next to Neville and Ginny as they discussed the classes each would be taking this upcoming year.
"Turns out," Neville said pausing to bite into a buttered roll,"Old Slughorn will accept me into potions this year."
"Perks of being a war hero," Ginny said, "You will be a nice addition to his little collection."
Hermione gave a small smile to her friends and decided to join into the conversation. Anything to keep up the charade. "I'm just curious about our new Defense professor," Hermione said.
Hermione had caught some of McGonagall's welcome back speech when she had introduced Professor Wiley Selket, a short, but stalky wizard with slightly receding silver hair and olive green robes.
"Dad told me about him before, guess he used to work at the ministry. He's a retired Auror. Dad said he's decent though" Ginny explained while filling more food onto her plate. She really was like Ron when it came to eating. Hermione had no idea where it went.
"Let's hope," Hermione began, "I think I've reached my limit with defense professors."
Ginny and Neville both nodded in agreement. Hermione prayed for just one year of normalcy here. Just one. Hermione didn't think her nerves could handle anymore this year. The three of them continued back on their meal, after living on takeaway for most of the summer it was nice to have some good food again.
"Don't look now but Nott has been staring at you for a few minutes," Neville told her, inclining his head towards the Slytherin table. Hermione turned her head and sure enough Theodore Nott was staring at her. Dark blue eyes burning a hole right through her. And scratching at his left forearm. The arm where his dark mark was hidden under his robes.
She made eye contact and narrowed her eyes at him. Even from the distance between them, she could see the color rise to his cheeks.
"Can we have one year where the Slytherin's aren't up to something," she said to Neville while turning her body away from the Slytherin table.
He laughed, "Wouldn't be Hogwarts then. Even the sorting hat called them shifty."
"Cunning," Hermione corrected.
"Cunning, shifty what's the difference."
Later that evening, Hermione was settling into her new dormitory. The 8th years were given their own small rooms, since there were so few of them who returned. Hermione's bedroom was right down the hall from the 7th years. It was small, but cozy. Her four poster bed was pushed up against one of the walls, and against the other wall, in front of the window was a small desk and chair. She was excited to have some privacy this year.
She heard a knock on her door, before Ginny peaked her head in.
Ginny entered the room, pulling a bottle of elf-made wine from behind her back, "Let's celebrate our first night back."
Usually, Hermione would have been against this type of behavior, maybe the war had mellowed her out, or maybe she just wanted a reason to silence some of the negative thoughts going round and round in her head.
Ginny opened the bottle, before conjuring up two goblets and filling each nearly to the brim.
"To our final year at Hogwarts," Ginny said carefully clinking her glass against Hermione's and taking a large gulp of the elf-made wine. Hermione didn't say anything before taking an equally large drink. It was deep, dark red and slightly bitter and Hermione loved the way it sent warmth all through her body.
"Harry left this at the Burrow the night before he and Ron left for training. I don't think anyone will miss it," Ginny told her smiling and taking another drink.
"What's going on with you and Harry," Hermione asked. Unable to quell her curiosity any longer.
"Nothing, really. We just aren't meant to be. Not anymore."
Hermione wasn't going to let her friend off quite that easy, "Did anything happen?"
Ginny shook her head no, "We just changed. It's like we are a puzzle with too few pieces, no matter what we did it just didn't fit together." Ginny didn't look sad when she said it, it was just a matter of fact thing for her now.
Hermione reached over and squeezed her hand. "I'm really not sad, we are both young. You don't have to marry the first person you love," Ginny told her.
"Yes, I can definitely understand that," Hermione said with a laugh thinking about herself and Ron.
"Plus for the first time in my life I am single with absolutely zero brothers breathing down my neck. I want to have fun and be a normal teenager for once without worrying about a lunatic trying to take over the world and murder my friends and family."
Ginny and Hermione spent the rest of the evening polishing off the bottle of wine and talking before both fell asleep on Hermione's bed still in their robes from the feast.
The next morning, Hermione made her way down to the dungeons for her first potions class of the year. Despite polishing off the entire bottle with Ginny last night, she didn't feel too terrible. Thankfully. Potions and a hangover didn't seem like they would mix well.
When Professor Slughorn saw her enter the potions classroom his entire face lit up. "Miss Granger, so happy you chose to return. No Mr. Potter this year, eh?"
"No, he's in Auror training," Hermione answered.
Slughorn gave an exaggerated frown, "I will miss his talents." Hermione had to control herself from rolling her eyes. Slughorn was still under the impression that Harry was amazing at potions, something which still annoyed Hermione.
Hermione sat at one of the open tables and waited for everyone else to fill in around her. The 7th and 8th year Gryffindors would be having NEWT Level Potions with the 7th and 8th year Slytherins. There just weren't enough 8th years to justify having two separate classes.
"Good morning class," Professor Slughorn started, addressing all the students in front of him,"Very happy to see so many people qualified for NEWT Level Potions." A few of the students made eye contact with each other over this, his standards were never very high for who he admitted. And fame was the biggest deciding factor.
"We will be starting this term with learning how to brew antidotes to some of the strongest potions known to us," he paused before continuing," the term project will be to improve upon the current antidotes already created. I will assign a potion to you and your partner."
He tapped the chalkboard with his wand and a list of names appeared with the assigned potions next to them. "Now please sit with your partner, and I will be around with your assigned potion. Today we will be familiarizing ourselves with the potion we are creating antidotes for."
Hermione scanned her eyes over the board searching for her name.
G. Weasley - P. Patil - Essence of Insanity
B. Zabini - D. Malfoy - Draught of Living Death
D. Greengrass - N. Longbottom - Veritaserum
H. Granger - T. Nott - Amortentia
Hermione looked at her name right next to Nott's and her heart sank, of course she was paired with Nott. Just her luck. She glanced over to him and saw that he didn't look happy either. He made no move to join at her table. Sighing, she collected her belongings and made her way towards him. Passing Malfoy and Zabini who just stared at her. Not saying a word.
She was Hermione Granger and she wasn't about to let the likes of Nott, Malfoy, and Zabini intimidate her.
Hermione took her seat next to him and waited for Professor Slughorn to bring over the bubbling cauldron of already made amortentia. She looked into the cauldron and noticed the beautiful mother of pearl sheen on top. She leaned in closer and smelled the potion. Fresh cut grass. New parchment. And something new. Something extremely sweet, yet warm and woody at the same time. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but for some reason it reminded her of Christmas.