Thank you again for all the reviews :) Sorry it's take a while to update, it's been a busy week but here's the next chapter!
Chapter 9
The sun was streaming through the window when Chuck stirred. He tried to sit up but realised he was trapped by Blair's sleeping frame still curled up into his side. It made him smile at how comfortable it felt to have Blair sleeping next to him again. He glanced over at the clock on the bedside table and sighed when he realised it was nearly 9am.
"Blair, it's time to wake up." Chuck whispered, trying not to startle her.
"Hmm?" Blair groaned.
"It's 9 o'clock, Waldorf. I'm starving." He spoke a little louder and extracted his arm from under Blair's body as she rolled over and pulled the covers over her face.
Chuck proceeded to make his way into the bathroom to freshen up and when he re-emerged, Blair was out of bed and dressed for the day. The smell of cooked pastries filled the hallway as the pair descended the stairs and walked to the dining room. Dorota greeted them in the doorway, grinning at them like a Cheshire cat.
"Not a word." Blair warned before Dorota could make any comment about Chuck staying the night. Dorota just smiled at Blair and closed the door behind her as she left them to it.
"Dorota seems particularly excitable this morning." Chuck smirked and helped himself to a slice of toast.
"Yes, she's like a puppy with a new toy. I would have expected her to be better trained after all this time." Blair replied, she tried to sound annoyed by Dorota's reaction, but Chuck could see that she didn't really mean it.
"Are you losing your touch, Waldorf?" Chuck joked, as Blair joined him at the table.
"Do you know who you're talking to?" Blair responded with mock disdain. "It's been a long time since someone of the male persuasion stayed in my apartment, Dorota was probably in shock. Maybe I should check she's okay and not passed out in the kitchen."
"What about Steve?" Chuck spoke without registering what he was saying. Blair's face fell at the mention of Steve's name.
"He never stayed here." Blair shrugged her shoulders as she spoke. Now she thought about it, it was a bit odd. During her relationship with Steve, they had always stayed at his place. She'd asked a few times if they could stay at her apartment, but Steve always made some excuse as to why he needed to be at his. After a while, Blair stopped asking. Looking back, Blair now felt a bit stupid that she'd let him manipulate her like that and she hadn't even realised it was happening at the time.
"This isn't your fault, Blair." Chuck knew that look on her face, she was blaming herself.
Blair didn't reply.
...
Dorota had cleared away the remains of breakfast before Chuck finally broke the silence between them.
"What do you want to do about Nate and Serena?" he asked. He'd already seen missed calls from both on his phone and he guessed Blair had been receiving similar calls because she'd deliberately left her phone upstairs.
"I don't know. I'm going to have to tell them something. They're not going to believe that this was just another one of our arguments." Blair knew she'd have to be honest with her friends, they knew Chuck's death threat had been serious and she couldn't think of a believable lie to try and cover up the truth.
Blair talked through the options with Chuck and eventually decided that she would tell them that she'd argued with Steve at the charity ball but ended up going back to his apartment where Steve had tried to force himself on her. He'd turned up the next day to apologise but Blair had ended it for good. Blair didn't want to share the details of the flashbacks that she'd had, or Chuck's involvement in the events the following morning.
"Blair…" Chuck paused to collect his thoughts for a moment before he continued, "Blair, I have to ask this. Did he rape you?"
Blair froze, staring at the table in front of her. She'd been expecting this question, and she was surprised Chuck hadn't asked her sooner. She had tried desperately to remember but the flashbacks always ended with Steve leering over her. She still had her underwear on in the flashback. She'd been relieved when she woke up the next day in Steve's bed and she was still in her underwear. It wasn't until Steve had mentioned that they'd had sex that she first considered the possibility that he'd assaulted her. She hadn't used the word rape. Blair reasoned that if she didn't use the word then it couldn't have happened. Hearing Chuck say it made her heart stop. Surely she would know?
"I don't think so." It was an honest answer.
Chuck didn't push Blair, he wanted to ask more questions, but he felt hopelessly out of his depth. He directed the conversation back to Nate and Serena and Blair agreed to ask them both to come over so she could talk to them.
An hour later, Nate and Serena were sitting in Blair's apartment trying to process what Blair had told them. Serena had apologised repeatedly for not persuading Blair to stay at the event and Blair tried to reassure her that it was not her fault.
"I never do what you tell me to do, S. This wouldn't have been any different." It was clear that Serena felt guilty for abandoning her best friend that night and Blair didn't want to make her feel worse by telling her that she couldn't even remember why she decided to leave the party.
"I'm so sorry, B." Serena apologised again causing Blair to take her hand and repeat that she had nothing to apologise for. Serena agreed to stop saying sorry but caught Chuck's eye as she spoke. He indicated for her to follow him and left the room.
"I'm going to get a drink, anyone want anything?" Serena asked as an excuse to leave. Nate and Blair declined her offer and Serena hurried after Chuck.
Chuck stopped in the kitchen and made sure none of the staff were around before he turned to Serena.
"What is it, Chuck?" Serena asked with concern etched on her face.
"Blair is going to kill me for telling you this but I'm out of my depth here and she needs you. Blair hasn't told you the whole truth, she can't remember half of the night. When you saw Steve leaving the event, Blair had already ended things." Chuck began to explain.
"Then why did she go back to his apartment?" Serena knew that Blair wouldn't go back to his apartment if their relationship was over.
"She doesn't remember. She remembers him leaving then the rest of the night is fragmented flashbacks, the last thing she remembers is him forcing himself on her but that's it." Chuck still wasn't sure he was doing the right thing by telling Serena, but he continued anyway. "She doesn't know what happened next."
"Oh my god." Serena gasped as she realised what Chuck was insinuating. "I need to talk to her."
Serena walked back into the living room and joined Blair on the sofa. Chuck followed and suggested to Nate that they leave the ladies to talk alone, thankfully he agreed.
"Call me if you need me, any time." Chuck whispered into Blair's ear as he hugged her goodbye. Blair pecked his cheek in acknowledgement.
"He told you." Blair stated once the boys had left the apartment. Serena opened her mouth but didn't say anything. "He forgets how well I know him. And you." Blair added in response to the look of shock on Serena's face.
"He said you don't remember leaving the party, or what happened with Steve. Is that true?" Serena needed clarification from Blair herself. Blair could only nod in response. "Oh, B…" Serena hugged Blair tightly as her eyes welled up and a few tears escaped.
"I don't think he raped me." Blair finally said. She could taste bile in the back of throat as she said the word rape.
"What makes you say that?" Serena asked.
"I still had my underwear on, and I wasn't… I didn't feel… I mean you would know right?" Blair wanted, needed, Serena to reassure her.
"Maybe you should still get checked out? Just in case?"
"I can't." Blair shook her head at Serena's suggestion.
"I'll come with you, B. You need to know what happened or this is going to haunt you."
Serena continued to hug Blair as she tried to encourage her to see a doctor. Blair reluctantly agreed, she wasn't sure if it was the lack of sleep that stopped her fighting against Serena's suggestion or the thought of living with never knowing what happened.
...
The next few hours passed in a blur. Although Bart had died many years ago, the family still used the Bass family doctor and, after a quick phone call, Serena was escorting Blair into a building in Manhattan. Serena did all the talking at the reception desk while Blair focused her attention on the receptionist's name badge, Maureen, Special Victim Unit.
Victim. Was that what Blair was, a victim? Her throat constricted as she stared at the badge, this all felt so surreal. Blair was sure she would wake up at any moment and this would turn out to be some awful dream. She was brought out of her trance by Serena's hand on her arm and they followed Maureen into a pristine clean room. It was unbearably clean; Blair could smell the disinfectant in the air, she hated the smell of bleach, it reminded her of her struggles with bulimia when she would pour litres of it down the toilet bowl and sinks to try and mask the smell of vomit.
"I can't do this." Blair announced as she looked around the room then she turned on her heel and ran from the room.
"Blair!" Serena ran after her but stopped in the reception area as she watched Blair disappear out onto the street. Maureen threw a sympathetic smile in Serena's direction and informed her that it wasn't unusual for people to panic, and that Blair could come back whenever she was ready. Serena thanked her and took out her phone.
"Chuck, it's me. Blair agreed to see a doctor, but she took one look at the interview room and ran. She hasn't got her phone on her." Blair had refused to take a purse or her phone with her. Serena knew she was trying to avoid reality, but she was now kicking herself for not insisting Blair at least take a credit card with her, she'd have to walk home if that's where she was heading.
"Stay where you are, I'll call you when I find her." Chuck ended the phone call before Serena could reply.
To be continued...
Reviews welcome as always! And I'll try not to leave it so long to update next time :)