"Okay, I'm here," Enji Todoroki sat down on the slightly too small table next to his wife. His normally introverted, and ever so slightly nerdy wife that would rather spend the night in than actually going out. And he loved that about her. Not that she didn't look like a smoking hot babe dressed to the nines this evening, but, he'd prefer if they were both dressed to the nines at home. "Why?"
Rei smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder and glanced towards the stage. "Because I asked you to."
Enji blinked and stared at the sparkling white dress that left her shoulders and a slight tease of her chest exposed, though his eyes focused on her cleavage for perhaps a bit too long for what would be considered polite in public. Which was fine, because she was his wife, and also because she dragged him here. "Okay, but why?"
"Enji—" She hissed, rolled her eyes and swatted his arm all in one fluid motion. "You refused to be an item."
"I'm married."
"Despite being one of the faces of the charity."
"Mostly by accident."
She swatted him again. "So, I told the organizers that we would be there and that we would participate in the auction."
Enji blinked and looked up towards the runway where the Lovely Lady Nagant was holding a microphone as she chatted up with several nearby ladies. There were probably only a handful of men in the audience, some were there with their wives like him, others with friends, and others their spouses.
"I'm going to be real, this whole event sounds like nightmare fuel."
"All participants are willing." Rei placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned into him. A move that she knew damn well, would melt his heart and make him do anything she wanted. Damn he had far too many things like that. "And besides, you're not in the line up."
Still… Why the hell was he here?
XXXX
Why the hell was he here!?
Izuku felt several kinds of sick.
His stomach was doing that weird thing where it felt like he was either incredibly hungry, and that he also needed to puke, but also like he had gas. His brow had produced enough sweat that he was pretty sure that it could be classified as a quirk. There was a non zero chance that he had also developed hives of some sort along his arm. And to top all of that off—not to mention his rapid heartbeat—he had a massive headache that made bright lights and moving a pain in the ass.
"Yo, Number Two," Hawks laughed as he shook Izuku's shoulder slightly. The shorter, blonde haired man that had quickly become one of Izuku's best friends since they became heroes,was taking all of this remarkably well and even seemed to be enjoying himself.
The bastard.
"For someone that's looking good, you sure aren't looking so good." Hawks patted Izuku on the back twice before taking the sweat next to him. "You alright?"
"Have I ever mentioned that I'm bad with people?"
"Repeatedly, that's why I dragged you here, besides, this is your charity." Hawks clapped his hands and laughed. "Though, I really wouldn't say you're bad with people, you're a great hero and like a pro when it comes to calming people down. And you're great with old people!"
"Okay, but how does that help me here?" Izuku raised an eyebrow as he heard Hawks laugh.
"Dude, are you kidding me?" He gestured towards the audience hall where the runway waited for them. Earlier today during rehearsal Izuku had nearly fainted just picturing what it was going to be like with people. It was like middle school all over again! Thank god All Might took him to America instead of U.A.
Though when he came back he was so worried he forgot how to speak Japanese that he didn't say anything for two whole days.
Why did All Might choose him again?
Hawks brought him back to reality with a feather up the nose. Yes, up. It was weird, and unnerving and Hawks found it hilarious. "There's only three things that are going to happen to you out there."
"I faint, I die of embarrassment, or, I uhh—"
"What? No, stop being a nervous wreck, it's kind of like, weird." Hawks sighed, and slid his level hand in front of both of them. "But, no, there's only three things that can happen to you out there. One, you're popular and some rich old lady out bids everyone and you probably just help her around the house or be a pool boy for an afternoon."
"That doesn't sound so bad. But, why would they bid for—"
"Shut your mouth before I shut it for you."
Why was a feather holding up a sewing needle? And how?
"Good, now number two, some rich gay dude wins. That's what I'm personally hoping for, not for you, but for me, but, anyways, yeah, it could happen, worst case scenario is he treats you like eye candy for half a day and you go take a shower when you get home. Either way, you've survived worse."
"And the third option?"
"No one bids for you and you get picked up by a poor old lady… Or, you just go home. Really though, I think that's the worst."
Honestly it didn't sound so bad. Even if the charity wouldn't get any money from him.
Izuku sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why did I let Nagant convince me this was a good idea?"
From beyond the curtains a head full of blue and pink hair popped through and Nagant gave him a great big smile and a cheerful wink. "Because incredibly beautiful and forward women are your weakness."
There was little to no point in arguing with facts.
"But relax champ, if I was like, ten years younger I'd be all over you." She paused and then looked back. "Oh, and not married, but you're going to kill it out there, just, like, be you."
"A nervous wreck?"
"Exactly, people eat that shit up." Nagant shot a finger gun at him and faded back behind the curtains. "You got like 30 seconds by the way! Hawks! You're up first!"
"Yes Ma'am!"
Hawks stood and adjusted his suit, before he sighed and looked at Izuku. "Really, this is supposed to be fun, so, just let yourself have fun out there!"
XXXX
"Alright! And with our Number four hero out of the way, what do you folks say to getting on with who you all have your eyes on?" Nagant laughed as Hawks was nearly pulled off the stage by his future date. "Settle down!"
Izuku felt like he was going to die.
There were so many people here! Were there normally so many people? Auctions were supposed to be small right? He could see All Might sitting at a nearby table with Nana, laughing up a storm. Wait, was that Endeavour and his wife? Oh god there was Best Jeanist too! Even Yui! And some other pro heroes!
He was going to die!
"Now, you all know him as Deku, the Number Two Pro hero," Nagant gestured towards him, beckoning him onto the stage. "Or maybe you know him as All Mights #1 reason to retire, but here tonight he is simply known as Izuku Midoriya! A charming young man that started this charity!"
A round of applause echoed throughout the hall as Izuku slowly stepped out onto the walkway. Really this felt like that time they did a talent show at school and his only talents were crying, being awkward, and knowing a lot about All Might. He successfully did two of those things.
Hopefully this time, he did none of those things and instead did something he had never done before.
He actually had no idea what that was.
But hopefully it wasn't awkward or embarrassing.
Izuku waved towards the crowd and smiled.
"Now then! Let's start the bidding at—"
"40000!" A rather petite woman with pure white hair shot up from her table waving a number. Wait. Was she sitting next to Endeavour? Why did Endeavour look like he was about to die?
"50000!" An older woman shouted, waving her own bidding thingy.
"60000!"
What the heck?
How much were these people willing to pay for a day with him?
Sure, that wasn't that much, but, it was still more expensive than any dinner he'd eaten!
The auction went on for far far far too long in an intense bidding war that at some point had boiled down to Endeavour's wife, and the first older woman. It ended shortly after Endeavour went over to the elderly woman and begged for a moment.
"400000!" Shouted Endeavour's wife.
"Going once!" Nagant shouted, barely able to hold back her laughter. "Going twice!" The audience hall was silent. "Going thrice! And sold to the married couple!"
"Woo!" Endeavour's wife pumped her arm and laughed before falling down into her chair with a great big smile on her face.
Endeavour looked like he was doing mental math about how much his wife just spent.
"Alright, Deku, get off the stage we still got more heroes to auction off and your dates are waiting for you."
"Ehh?" Izuku made an oh so very dignified noise as he was pushed off the stage. He wove through the tables until he arrived at Endeavour's table where his wife was still waving him over.
"Umm," he stood next to both of them and bowed. "Thank you for your contribution to the charity Endeavour and—"
"How many times do I have to tell you kid?" Endeavour huffed and crossed both of his arms like a giant Tsundere. "Call me Enji, and my wife's the one the bought you."
"And please call me Rei," Rei extended her hand towards him, the moment he grabbed hers she pulled him down to sit beside her. "I'm so excited to finally meet you, Enji talks about you alot, Izuku."
"I do not."
"The pleasure is mine, umm, ma'am."
"I just said call me Rei," she smiled and rolled her eyes at him. "You're so uptight, Izuku, please, relax."
Izuku nodded and took a deep breath. "Umm, so, Rei,"
She laughed, and patted Enji's arm again. "Yes, Izuku?"
"Umm, why did you want to buy me for a date? Aren't you umm," He gestured towards Enji. "Happy?"
"Oh! Hahaha!" Rei had lovely giggles. "We."
"You," Enji prodded his wife's side.
"I, didn't buy you to date us."
Izuku raised an eyebrow. "Then why?"
Was it to save him?
"Well, we want you to take our daughter out and have a wonderful time."
Huh? "Did you say your daughter?"
"Yeah!" Rei snapped her fingers. "She's a hot mess!"
Enji snorted and raised an eyebrow at Izuku. "I think that means she's your type."
Are these people really trying to set him up?
Where was Hawks? Where was this in his possibility list?
XXXX
What the hell was she doing?
Fuyumi sighed and slid further on the table she had claimed to watch T.V. at. Her ass was already half off the cushion and her hands were dangerously close to her half eaten dinner. Her eyes flashed towards the foreign drama she was watching, it had gotten to the romance portion and it was currently devastating her.
It didn't help that the new game Shoto had gotten her just so happened to be a dating sim either. What were the chances that her brother just picked it at random?
High.
Very high.
Really it was her own fault. At this point she was choosing to be single. Mostly because she just didn't bother trying to find romance.
Her history with men was awful. Her first boyfriend in middle school didn't tell her they were going to a different highschool so they never really broke up, they just stopped dating. Then in highschool, it was just some kid that wanted to use her father as a way to get into U.A. after he failed.
College was worse. Two boyfriends, both cheated on her.
It wasn't like she had even really been happy having a boyfriend either, it was just, like, they were there and they did things.
She pressed her cheek into her table and watched as her foreign drama got just a bit on the spicy side. With a huff she flopped off the table and lay on the floor while she stared up at the ceiling.
"Maybe I should try being a lesbian?" She muttered to herself. She kissed a girl once. It did nothing for her. But that could have also been the alcohol talking. And it wasn't that she didn't want romance either. She found guys attractive, and she wanted a family of her own someday, but, just the whole finding someone that wasn't shitty to date was really really hard.
"You wanna know what's a good substitute for family?" She asked herself as she looked towards the stack of papers she finished grading hours ago. "Cats."
AN: I wanted to write Fuyumi.