Deception
Realisation
Russia kicked off his heels. "How do people walk in these death contraptions all day!" He complained as he peeled off the skin-tight red dress, throwing it over the top of the desk chair. Belarus would kill him if she came looking for it, and he left it wrinkled and dusty from the floor. Russia shuddered. He had enough issues with his sister without adding another.
He bent down to dig through the hotel mini-fridge for his bottle of vodka. Finding it, he pulled off the top and chugged half the bottle before slamming it down onto the desk beside him and storming into the bathroom to wash the makeup off his face.
He scrubbed his face, glaring back at the woman that looked back at him in the mirror. "Stupid Romania, almost blowing our cover!" He growled, storming out of the bathroom and throwing open his suitcase to grab a pair of sweatpants that he had borrowed from his sister's wardrobe and one of his old white T-shirts. He pulled them on, growling when the neck of the shirt fell over his shoulder.
His cell phone rang from where he had left it on the bed. "Vlad," He greeted, settling down at the desk and pulling his laptop towards him. "Aren't you detained?"
"You're my one phone call."
"I am very flattered," Russia leaned back in his seat, taking a drink from his vodka as he waited for the login screen to pop up. "To what do I owe such an honour?"
"England is going to kill me." He had paused for a minute, obviously looking over something on his phone. "I haven't heard the messages yet, but England's already left eight of them. You know how psychotic he gets when it comes to his 'baby'."
Russia shuddered a bit. He wasn't afraid of much, but when England got even a whiff that someone had done wrong to his former colony, he was absolutely terrifying. "He won't do anything. America handled it." He quickly typed in his pin to open his computer. "You're safe."
"Right, because we know that is what England is best known for! His forgiveness!" Vlad snapped sarcastically. He sputtered, and Russia heard rustling on the other side of the line before Vlad came back on. "I just got messages from France, Scotland and Ireland— you were saying?"
Russia moved to his web browser, typing 'How to attract guys without talking to them' into the URL, tapping impatiently on the desk as he waited for his results to pop up. Unfortunately, as with many things in America, the internet was horrible.
"It is your fault, Нет?"
"My fault!" Vlad growled.
"Your glamour didn't work." He clicked on the top link. The link brought him to a Wiki page that explained how he could draw male attention to himself. He worried his lip before opening up another webpage and writing the same thing in English, growling when it came up with a different result. "Should I use the Russian page or the English one?" he muttered distractedly to himself, forgetting for a moment that he was on the phone with Vlad.
"Ce?" When Russia didn't answer him, Vlad sighed. "How was I supposed to know the little idiot had enough sense to recognise something was up and call his father?"
Russia frowned at Vlad's assessment of America's intelligence before snorting. "America grew up with England. You should have expected that, Да?"
Vlad grumbled, sighing heavily. He probably should have known better. "This means my debt is paid, Da?"
Russia decided to read through both pages, noting key differences in each. He reached into his bag, grabbing his journal and an erasable pen from the side pocket before leaning his ankle against his knee and placing the journal on his bent leg. Biting his lip as he started reading through the Russian article, wondering vaguely if women really went through so much trouble to get a male's attention. Choosing an intriguing perfume, and what shade of lipstick to wear? Ridiculous! Most men he knew would fall over themselves if a woman approached them in sweatpants and undone hair.
"Ivan?"
"Что?"
He waited for Vlad to repeat the question before responding. "Да, debt is paid." He muttered distractedly. "I must go now, Vlad. We will speak later."
Ignoring Vlad's protests, he snapped his cellphone shut and placed it on the table behind his laptop out of the way.
He groaned, looking over the articles. It was going to be a long night.
~o0o~
Alfred stepped out of the shower, glancing at his watch on the counter while he wrapped a towel tightly around his waist. He would be meeting Anya in about an hour for coffee. After a long day at the World Conference, he was happy for the distraction.
His cell phone buzzed from its place on the white and grey marble countertop. He caught it just as it was about to slip off, pressing the answer and speaker buttons before placing it down by the sink. "Dad, what's up?"
"Have you seen Russia?"
Alfred raised an eyebrow at that and scoffed. "I was at the same meeting as you. Have none of the Slavics' heard from him?"
He opened his medicine cabinet, pulling out his shaving cream and razor. He applied the shaving cream liberally as he listened to his father's response.
"That's what I was afraid of." England sighed heavily, and Alfred could just imagine his father pinching his nose as he usually did when frustrated. "This is my fault… well, it's really your fault, but that is neither here nor there."
America ran his razor under the water, stopping short of his face to glower down at the phone. "How is it my fault that Russia is missing? I didn't do anything to that Commie Bastard!"
"A week ago, you walked in while I was reciting a spell, and I accidentally said the wrong person's name!" England snapped through the phone, causing Alfred to wince at the echo that rang through the small room.
"Mmhm," America rolled his eyes and leaned close to the mirror as he started shaving. Every time he so much as heard England breathe heavily, he pulled the razor away from his face. Yes, he healed quickly, but it still hurt like a bitch to be cut.
"I wasn't going to say anything, as I figured that Russia would turn up eventually and we could fix it, but now he's missing! One of the major superpowers, much less Russia of all nations, shouldn't be going missing without a trace!"
Alfred sighed, rubbing his forehead to help combat the suddenly growing migraine. "Calm down, Dad. I'll find him." He rinsed off his razer and cleaned the sink before putting his stuff back in the cabinets.
"How on Earth—"
"Let me try and call him now." Alfred picked up the phone, hovering over the end button. "I'll call you back later if I get a lead."
"Why hadn't I thought of that?" England asked sarcastically. "We could have just called him this entire time."
"Bye, England."
"Alfred Foster Jones, don't you dare hang —"
"It's Freedom~" Alfred sang as he ended the phone call, snapping the phone shut. He left the master bath and entered his room, throwing his phone on the bed and going to his suit jacket to grab his work phone.
He hummed to himself as he scrolled through his contacts stopping at Ivan Braginski and hovering over the call button. He cursed his stupidity and quickly pressed the button, turning on the speaker and walking to his dresser to grab his jeans. At the same time, he waited for Russia to pick up the phone, half expecting him not to do so.
Ring… ring… ring… "Привет, Америка." Alfred bit his tongue to keep from laughing. Russia was trying to hide the feminine voice behind a deeper tone, but he just sounded like a child trying to pretend to be an adult. It was quite amusing as he knew the backstory.
"Russia, I'm checking in because you weren't at the meeting today." America held his phone between his ear and shoulder while he struggled to put on his underwear and jeans.
"Да, I was called back to Russia for an important meeting."
"Ah, I should have figured as much." Alfred pulled a white t-shirt from his drawer, pulling it on before walking to his closet.
It wasn't adding up. America thought to himself as he thumbed through his button-down shirts. Under normal circumstances, they would have been notified of Russia not being in the meeting due to something back home. However, if that wasn't the case, Russia would have shown, if only to threaten England into putting him back to normal.
The sound of a New York City police siren filtering through the phone, not even a moment later, gave America all of the clues that he needed.
"I'll get the meeting notes from Matvei, Да?" Russia said after a minute of silence.
America shook his head and reached up to grab a plum purple button-down from the hanger before him. He pulled it on and fixed the collar before starting on the buttons. "His notes are useless. I'll send you mine. They are colour-coded and easy to follow." He tucked the bottom of the shirt into his jeans and started to search for his black belt. "I can send them tomorrow, I just need to translate them to English, or Russian if you prefer. They're in Cherokee right now. Ah, there it is!" He pulled his belt from over his computer chair and put it on.
"Cherokee?" Russia's confusion allowed the feminine voice to shine through, loud and clear.
"Pisses Iggy off," America said blandly, walking back into the bathroom. He placed the phone on the counter with the speaker on.
"I see. That is acceptable. до свидания." Russia hung up the phone, leaving Alfred to stare at the phone bemused before sighing heavily.
"Female Russia, still in New York, it's been a week…"
America picked up his hair gel and began to fix his hair as he thought through everything. Then, his thoughts moved towards Anya, and he laughed darkly to himself. "They have a lot in common, and she only showed up a couple of days ago…."
On the one hand, America could see that he was being paranoid. Had been since the '50s. It worried his family and was the main conversation for many Sunday dinners. On the other hand, it would be like Russia to pull something like this. Hell, given the opportunity, Alfred would have done the same thing.
Now he just needed to test his theory.
I hope you enjoyed this! Please let me know of any mistakes.
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There is Tea in the Sea
Admittedly Horrible Translations:
Нет: No (Russian)
Ce?: What? (Romanian)
Да: Yes (Russian)
Da: Yes (Romanian)
Что: What? (Russian)
Привет, Америка: Hello, America (Russian)
до свидания: Goodbye (Russian)