Author's note: Happy new year! I hope you all get an amazing 2022, and thank you so much to everyone who is reading!

ErinJordan: Thank you for reading, here's the next chapter!

Candylou: Good question! Hopefully it will be answered by the end of this chapter! :)

Rose Hardy: Thank you for reviewing, and OF COURSE I had to dedicate the story to you! You have been so helpful!

Caseykam: Thank you for reviewing, I am glad you liked it!

Real

December

I am thinking it must be December now. I feel a little better. Like, not good, just less horrible. I think I need to charge that phone. It might be… people that want to speak to me. I dunno. Probably not. Why would they care? Perhaps its better if I just don't do anything after all.

Okay, I did it. Charged my phone, I mean. I haven't turned it on yet, though. I don't know why I am not doing it. I feel scared. Why the hell do I feel scared? I am a little weak, I think. Have been living on coffee and bananas for some months now. It's probably okay. Don't feel hungry anymore anyway. Frank would've killed me, though.

Forget that. My hand just wrote it. Stupid hand. It doesn't know that Frank has stopped caring. I don't care either. I literally don't care about anything. It's pretty nice, actually. I don't have to think about Frank or Vanessa or my parents or Chet or Biff or Tony or Iola or anyone else. I can just exist without them. And they don't need to have me. It's all very good. Very good indeed.

I am gonna turn it on. The phone. It's very bright. I haven't seen much light recently.

It's… it's a text there. Actually, there's many unread texts. And calls. Emails too. I don't understand. They have been trying to contact me. Why? Why did they do that?

Good God. What have I done? They have been trying to contact me. They have been trying. I don't understand. Why would they do that? Why haven't they stopped?

I am gonna call them. Someone, anyone! I don't know what I am doing. I don't care. Fuck me. I am just gonna do it. Why can't I breathe? I am gonna do it. I'll just do it, no thinking, not think, not think, just don't think.

Just a random number. Anyone from the list.

"Hey, this is Biff."

Pause.

"Can you hear me?"

Silence.

"Excuse me, but who am I speaking to?"

No answer.

"Is this a prank?"

Silence.

"Not funny, but have an extraordinary day. Bye."

Silence. Almost a click and a beep. Almost. But it never came.

"Joe?!"

Silence.

"Joe, is that you?"

Dead silence.

"I might be going crazy, but Joe, that's your caller ID on my screen right now. Is it, Joe? Is it you?"

Silence.

"Joe?!"

Somehow, there were tears in his voice.

"Yeah. It's me."

"Thank goodness!"

Heavy breathing, almost like a choked on sob.

"Thank goodness."

More breathing. Harsh and raw.

"Are you okay?"

"I… I don't know."

"Where are you?"

"New York."

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"You were kidnapped, weren't you?"

"No."

"Then what the hell happened, Joe?"

"Nothing. I've been sleeping."

"You have been sleeping? It's been what; three months?!"

No answer. Biff breathed in deeply.

"Joe, tell me exactly where you are."

"Semmelweis's street five C."

"Good. I'll be there right away. Should I call an ambulance? It will arrive before I do. Yeah, I will do that. Just hold on…"

"Biff, stop. I am fine."

"The hell you are! Now don't worry, everything's going to be alright. Do you feel unwell? Lightheaded?"

"A little."

"That's okay, don't worry about it. Anything else?"

"I am fine."

"So you've said. You sure you can't remember what happened?"

"I slept."

"I mean what happened before you slept. What were you doing? Who was with you?"

"No one. I was sleeping."

"Joe! C'mon man, you're scaring me."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I have to get off the phone now and call Frank, but I will be there in fifteen. You sure I shouldn't call an ambulance?"

"Yeah. And Biff? Don't come."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't come. I don't wanna see you right now."

"Dream on, buddy."

A click and a beep, and the call was disconnected.

F&J F&J F&J

He was lying on his bed, wondering about what he had done. It might just have been a dream. He hadn't done anything this time either. Just dreamt about things that would never happen. He was too weak, too pathetic to ever get out of the hole that had swallowed him. Probably just as well. He didn't need anyone, and no one needed him.

Joe closed his eyes. Crept deeper into the comforter. Biff had said he would be there in fifteen. And he would call Frank. Would someone call Vanessa? Yes, she was going to come too. She would be aching to see him. She would look at him. And she would say things to him. He wouldn't answer her, cuz she didn't want him too. She just wanted to tell him that she loved him. He would only nod, but they would both know that he loved her more than life. And then they would go home, together. Holding hands and speaking with soft, soft voices.

Joe didn't actually want that. It was just nonsense that his brain made up because he was bored. Besides, even if he did want to look into those greyish eyes and speak soft, soft words, she wouldn't want to look at him. No wonders. She was beautiful. He was… a mess. A big, fat mess.

He dozed off. Then he woke up. It was a little darker now. A little colder too. There were footsteps coming from the other side of the door. Running and heavy. Someone pounded on his door. A voice. "Joe? Joe, are you there?" Frantic and breathless.

"I'm coming in!"

Seconds after the yell, a bright stream of light hit him. He could feel it all the way though the comforter. Blinding pain, glorious and penetrating. Like he was floating, seeing everything clearly, just not opening his eyes. Dizzying, deathly.

"Joe? Joe, where are you?"

Then the air hit him too. All oxygen left his lungs. There was someone next to him. Questions asked, then more voices, and brown eyes. He knew those eyes. Frank. Stupid brain. So bored it though his brother had started caring again. That he was here. With Vanessa. Vanessa. She was crying and speaking, but he wasn't answering, cuz she wouldn't want that.

She grasped his hand. Her grip was tight. It was the only real thing in the world. Warm, warm skin against his own coldness. She spoke, and even when he didn't know what she was saying, he still knew cuz she was speaking softly, softly. It was the only real thing in the world.

It was the only real thing in the world.

To anyone slightly confused: In the next chapter we will start revealing what's in the past. So, until Friday, stay safe and healthy and do consider leaving a review! It's very motivating for a writer to know someone is reading one's book (even if they do not like it ;)