Seinfeld: "Prognosis-NEGATIVE!"

Summary: Flying to London with older Elaine (following the action of "The Number and Address of the Beast", George (the Vampire "Say is it with a y or an I, Elaine?" "Y?" giggle… "If you're Danish, George."), tells her his idea for a new version of the lousy horror film the gang had once been eager to see…

Part VI…

"Oh...Jerry..." Nurse Claire breathed. Pulling her uniform close… "That was..."

"Spectacular…?" he eyed her from his side of the hospital bed…

Thank God they'd changed George's sheets earlier...He thought.

"Well, I would say...Wonderful...But, sure...Spectacular." she beamed, enraptured look…

["George, please tell me she's leading him on...Jerry is not that..." Elaine began.]

"Thanks. They're...You're...Pretty wonderful, yourself." he beamed.

"Well, I'd better go. My mother's waiting for me at home and I still have to make a quick report to Dr. Lang before I go." she rose from the bed, adjusting and buttoning.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked.

"I work here...Convenient, huh?" she smiled, leaning in to kiss him, then embracing him passionately.

"Sorry...I should go." she noted. "But I'll see you tomorrow...And by then we should know about your friends..."

"Friends? Oh, right...Those friends." Jerry nodded. "Any chance of being able to call through to them or outside?"

"I'm afraid not...Security protocols. But the hospital is contacting your families. Maybe by tomorrow." she smiled.

"It's just...My ma will have a fit when she hears...I'd sure like to tell her I'm ok."

"Well, maybe I could call her. Explain the situation. If you'd like…?" she suggested, smiling.

"That'll be good. Ok, let me write down their number in Florida. Oh, and you might wanna call George's parents, Frank and Estelle if it's not too much trouble. They're sure to be worried too and they get upset easily. Plus, they live in Queens, might come right in when the hospital calls."

"Oh?" she eyed him. "Well, give me their number and I'll try to explain..."

"Great, thanks… Just be careful explaining it to them, they're very easily upset..."

"I'll be careful. I've had to do this many times." she beamed, taking slip of paper. "Well, good night...Jerry. I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early. Maybe we could have breakfast together here. You like bagels?"

"Does Yogi Bear like picnic baskets?" he smiled. She giggling a bit, then heading for the door, heading out and relocking immediately.

Yeah, welll...That's me...Spectacular Jerry, he thought.

Wow...Nurse Claire, leaning back against the locked door…

"Oh, sweet mystery of Life at last I've found you..."

Not even Dr. Lang...Well, we only did the kissing thing, after all, just once after my therapy succeeded, to celebrate.

He doesn't feel right about screwing patients and research subjects, finds it a bit immoral and exploitative, fine man that he is.

I guess this is...Love? She breathed heavily. Oh, thank goodness we aren't definitely planning to kill him.

Though too bad I have to kill his friends for the man who made me...Spectacular…Though if I manage things carefully, Jerry...My Jerry...'ll never know.

Hey, this is a hospital. People croak here all the time.

Well, I better go make my report...Then call His mom and the other guy's…

My future mother-in-law if all goes well. I hope she likes me. But I am a head nurse and...Spectacular. Beam.

Though a nice girl, too. Minus the occasional killing and unethical research for Science…

Oh, gee...I guess I'd better break my date with Bill the parking attendant...It would be cruel to lead him on, even if he was the first to have the nerve to ask me out after my spectacular transformation. Oh, I hate to hurt people, minus the occasional necessary killing and unethical research for Science. Sigh.

…

"Come on! Come on! You ole fart! Move it!"

"Ok, Donny...Now just let me secure your suit here and check the air..." Mr. Sanger fumbled at his son's spacesuit-like containment suit's locks.

"For Christ sake, you dumb fuck, lets get me outta here!"

"There, we're ready." Mr. Sanger rose from where he adjusted Donald's travel suit, a true space suit. The Bubble Boy rising to his feet with Sanger's help. "Say goodbye to your mother..."

"Oh, good luck, Donny!" Mrs. Sanger came over to him offering hug which the Bubble Boy rudely threw off with a rough shrug.

"Get off! Ya wanna kill me, you stupid cow! You both want me dead! It's your fault how I am!"

"Now, Donny." Mr. Sanger sighed. "We're trying to get you the help you need. Lets head out and with some luck..."

"Luck is for suckers, moron! I'm a winner! And once I get outta this crap and write a few bestsellers about me and all my heroic struggles with my illness, I'll be incredibly wealthy and I won't need you two losers! I'll live on an estate and if you ever come by my guards'll shoot you and my dogs'll rip you to shreds, bastards! And then I'll go into politics and they'll worship me and I'll become President as I always should've..."

"Well, it's nice to know you have ambition, son..." Mr. Sanger noted.

"Then I'll gather followers and tell the chumps what to do...I'll be dictator, like I always shoulda been! I'll rule the world! And I'll wipe out degenerates like you two! And kill any freaks like me! I'll be a god, the God! ME! The former Bubble Boy! Ah, ha, ha, ha, hah!" Waving arms.

"Careful, honey. Don't puncture your suit." Mrs. Sanger, anxiously.

"Come on, move it you fat fuck!" Donald cried. "My destiny awaits! You, you stupid cow?!" turning to Mrs. Sanger. "Prepare me a feast to celebrate...And get me women, beautiful women!"

"Well, Donnie...I can make a nice dinner but...I could invite Susie Moran from down the block over. She used to come to read to you before you threw a paperweight at her that night..."

"The whore wouldn't take her top off! But she wasn't too bad, get her. And others! Hire them if you have to…!"

"Now, Donny." Mr. Sanger shook head. "Lets get you to the hospital and see how things go."

"And I want this bum out as soon as I'm free of this suit! You're not gonna see a dime of the billions I make from those losers out there, dumbass!" Donald cried, shaking arms at his sighing father.

"Donny, get hold of yourself..." Mrs. Sanger sighed. "I'm sure you'll do very well if the doctor can help you. We wouldn't want anything but to know you're cured, anyway."

"And that what you'll both get...Nothing!" Donald fumed. "But get that dinner started...And have the girls waiting! Come on, get me there, you dumb fuck!" to his father who led him out.

...

"So..." Lang eyed Nurse Claire, now in his office… "Seinfeld continues to have no suspicions?"

"I don't think so. He's quite willing to believe what I tell him. Such a nice man, really." she beamed.

"Hmmn...Yes..."

"I do hope we won't have to kill him, sir." she asked, hopefully. "I rather like him."

"Indeed. Well, so long as he makes no trouble, especially after his two friends' tragic demise..."

"Two?" she eyed him.

"I think we can arrange to spare Ms. Benes. Yes, it's likely to be better to have one person survive."

"But if she talks to the hospital..."

"Seinfeld as well...But I think I can deal with that. It's Kramer and that rather clever Costanza who are the potential problems. Say, Claire...You seem...Different." eyeing her.

"I do?" Claire, a bit nervous. "You think my treatment might be failing, Doctor?"

"No, no...Not at all..." Lang waved a hand. "If anything you look more...Spectacular...Than ever. You just seem...Radiant..."

"Oh, I am, Doctor." she beamed. "I mean, I'm so happy and pleased with the results of my therapy...My new position here, under you...Life is just...Spectacular, these days."

"Uh-huh. You did it with Seinfeld, didn't you? Claire?" he eyed her sternly.

"It was for the research, doctor..." she noted, sheepishly. "Though it was...Spectacular." beam.

"And now you want me to spare your lover…?" frown.

"Well...You were thinking of sparing him. And he is my first and true love..." anxious look.

"Indeed. The fellow didn't take advantage of you?" stern look.

"Oh, no...Really, the other way around. It's funny, it all came to me, instinctively. I think he was pleased." she noted, fond look.

"Lovely. Well, we were hoping to spare him...If you have him ensnared by your charms and haven't utterly lost your head, my dear."

"I have...But, it's more than just 'ensnaring', Doctor. We love each other." she noted, firmly.

"I see." grim look.

"But it won't interfere with my performance of my duties. Or my devotion to the research, Dr. Lang. I swear."

"I hope not. But, we'll see. Though, Claire..." sigh. "Men can be fickle, even with someone as spectacular as you." shaking head. "Be careful you don't go getting your heart broken. You aren't really very experienced in these matters."

"Oh, Jerry...Mr. Seinfeld...Would never break my heart, sir. I already know that." she beamed. "Of course I can never tell him the truth but he'll accept what I tell him and we'll be very happy after I comfort him over the deaths of his dear friends. Depend on me, Dr. Lang." firmly.

"I hope that I can. Well, we'll see. For now, just be careful you don't let your guard down too far. Tell him nothing, keep him happy."

"Oh, I will...On both counts, sir." she smiled.

"All right, get some rest and remember that I'll need you tonight, about 10 pm. For the experiment that will make us the greatest scientific pioneers in History! When we take control of the course of human evolution..." solemn look into the distance.

"Yes, sir!" she turned and left.

Now, just gotta call my future in-laws...I hope they like me. Then home and grab a couple of hours sleep. Big night ahead. Thank God I arranged a reduced workweek after that.

Say, maybe Jerry and I could go out later this week or the weekend. Though he might want to stay in and let me comfort him over his friends…

Dr. Lang and Miss Benes...She paused, smiling. Who'd've thought he'd go for someone so...Unspectacular."

["Oh...Really?" Elaine eyed George.

Ummn… "Well, Elaine...It's just...See, you're classy while Ms. Holland...The nurse here...Is sorta more..."

"Physical?" Elaine glared.

Molly/Susan giggling.]

…