"Sir? I thought you should know" JARVIS opened, his voice containing a trace of hesitation "The Captain has returned. And…He's in his rooms Sir. Crying"

Tony's head shot up at the mention of Steve. He'd barely seen the man for well over a week now, and he'd embarrassed himself enough by trying: lingering in hallways, drifting past the gym repeatedly. He'd not asked the AI for his whereabouts, not wanting to acknowledge how hung up he was that the Captain didn't seem interested in furthering the connection they'd made.

"Crying?" he blurted "Well fuck"

"Indeed Sir" The AI readied a social prompt, according to the rapidly expanding protocols seeded by his conversations with Pepper, but it wasn't necessary. Tony leapt to his feet, knocking over the short range blasting node he was working on. Unmoored, as it set off, it shot across the room, thankfully exploding only modestly.

"Uhhh" he hesitated,

"Got it" interjected JARVIS, as the AI began to flood the space with CO2, and DUM-E scuttered across the room, fire extinguisher in its beak like clamp.

"Thanks JARVIS, thanks DUM-E" Tony called over his shoulder as he fled the room.

Tony arrived in the light filled hallway that held the door to the Captain's suite. Pacing back and forth before the entrance a few times to build up his courage, he rapped on the door. Silence answered him. He knocked again, to no response. Knocking a third time, he called loudly into the join of the door,

"Hi, Steve, it's Tony" the Captain still did not respond. Ok, so maybe the captain didn't want to be friends with him. Or whatever. But the man was clearly miserable, and even if he didn't want him there, no one else was and Tony figured he was better than nothing, 'Probably' he thought to himself.

Seized by resolve, Tony called out again "Look, Steve, I'm not going away. That might be rude, but I am rude, so deal with it. I'm not sorry, and you should probably just let me in or it's gonna get weird" Tony listened hard, and heard a soft, choking cough of a chuckle on the other side of the door. Another beat of silence followed, before he heard a gruff,

"Fine, come in"

Tony opened the door and closed it quickly behind him as he slipped inside. Each of the Avengers housed here had their own suites: a modest living room they decorated as they liked, a large bedroom and a lavish, modern bathroom. Steve was sat on the large L shaped couch that faced out toward the floor to ceiling window overlooking Manhattan. He didn't look back as Tony came into the room and stepped cautiously toward him. Tony rounded the sofa, and his heart contracted as Steve's face came into view. The man's eyes were red and watery. His nose was pink, clearly just having been scrubbed at with a tissue. His face was pale, apart from two flushed circles high on his cheeks. He clearly hadn't shaved for days, which was unusual.

"Hey Tony. What's up?" clearly trying to pretend he hadn't just been crying.

"Ohh, you know. Just passing through" Tony had hauled ass down here, and now what? What did people normally do next? "Listen, Steve" he sighed "you're obviously unhappy. You probably don't want to talk about it" Steve's head shook, just slightly, "But I do. And I don't know if you know this about me, but I really, really like getting my own way" Steve's lips tugged hesitantly upward at this "like, a lot," Continued Tony, "so can you help me out here?"

Steve looked at him for a long moment. For Tony, it seemed to stretch out, he wasn't sure he enjoyed how searching the man's gaze was. When the Captain looked at him, he felt seen in a way that was too keen, obscene almost. He always resisted being laid bare. To Tony's immense relief, the man nodded, breaking his gaze to look down at the floor. Tony slid in between the couch and the low, dark wooden coffee table. He noted that it was littered with used coffee mugs and Fury's empty ration packets. It reminded him of how his own lab bench frequently looked when he was seized by tech dream fervour. He settled down next to the larger man, and looked out toward the window, observing the city carefully as he waited.

Steve took his time, his words temporarily lost to him.

"I can't- I don't know. It's just not working"

As Tony looked to him, Steve kept his eyes rooted to the floor. Tony waited.

"I tried to do it, your advice was good and- And I thought, maybe I could do it. But it got bad again, worse even." Words began to spill from his lips, as he gained some traction on his swirling emotions, "I feel like there's a huge, incredible world out there filled with experiences I never could have dreamed of, but when I look someone in the eyes and go to open my mouth, I can't say a damn thing." Steve's voice broke as his hands balled into fists against his thighs "They've all lived such normal, innocent lives, and there's so much darkness that's shaped me. If they knew they wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes. But" His voice rose with frustration, "if they don't know, then I just have to pretend none of it ever happened and smile like I'm not constantly haunted. And I think to myself, why bother? So I don't. I don't open my mouth… I got a second chance at life. I should be making the most of it, and I hate it, Tony, I just hate it!" Steve's hands came up to his face, the heels of his palms pressing into his eyes against tears of helpless frustration that threatened to blind him. "What am I supposed to do?"

Tony had no answer for him. His own eyes stung at the sight of the man he felt so drawn to in such keen misery. The impulses of his body took over, and he shuffled closer, until the sides of their thighs pressed together softly. Sighing, Tony pulled the man's head into his lightly glowing chest with a warm palm on the soldier's cheek. He leaned them back together, until their backs rested against the cushions. Steve hesitated for just a moment, before giving over his weight, sinking into the body that held him. Tony rested his own neatly stubbled chin amongst Steve's soft brown hair. He'd yet to cut it since he'd been pulled from the ice, and it was getting thick and long. He took some time there, one hand pulling the man in tightly, the other rubbing a soothing thumb along his jaw, occasionally wiping away a tear as Steve tried not to shake. One of Steve's hands came in around Tony's chest, sliding around between his back and the cushion so he could pull himself in tighter.

Tony considered his words carefully, wanting so badly to get it right for once.

"I'm so sorry Steve. I hate that you're in so much pain. I hate that you've lost so much…seen so much of the bad, and gotten to experience so little of the good." he took a moment to give the man in his arms a gentle squeeze. "The thing is Steve, I can understand. What we've been through is different, but ultimately, so many of the things we feel have been the same. Ok, so your average person on the street won't have been through what you have; Hell, you're the only person who's been through anything like what you have. But maybe they're out there with their own big feelings about shit too. You don't have to tell people every detail, but you can tell them how you feel about it." Tony stopped for a breath, and felt soothed as he inhaled the pleasant, male scent of the man tucked into his grasp. Taking another moment, another breath, he continued "Tell them you're afraid you won't be understood, that you feel lonely. And maybe that will make them feel less alone. It could make them want to be brave about their stuff too. I mean, just…I guess just like you do for me." Steve's body stilled under Tony's arms, he felt a flicker of fear, but pushed on, his voice dropping low, and quiet. "You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met. And it's filled with fear right now, and you aren't letting anything new in there because of the fear, but you can work through that, I know it, because you're also the bravest man I've ever met"

Pulling back, Steve looked into the eyes of the man that held him. Tony met his stare for a long, heavy moment, before looking away, his cheeks beginning to flare red.

"I don't know what to say Tony." Steve's blue eyes shone at him. "Thank you. I've never heard you talk like that before." Silence hung in the air. Steve squeezed Tony's shoulder, urging him to meet his eyes again. "Thank you. I'm gonna keep trying, I promise. I'm so grateful to have you as a friend."

"Yeah, well" Tony mumbled, feeling acute awareness of his hands rushing back, and the awkwardness of his body. "Me too, obviously.

Wiping away tear tracks, Steve smiled, and pulled him in close, chest to chest. Tony felt the strong beat of a serum strengthened heart against the reactor embedded next to his. They both lingered, listening to the soft pull of the other's breath, feeling the warmth where skin touched skin. There was a deep, wordless healing in that touch.

When Tony felt a heat rise in his stomach, asking him for more contact, greater closeness, he disengaged. Standing, he shook like a dog to throw off the weight of emotion. "Right, I'm gonna go, I reckon I need to eat something after a long speech like that. Get my strength back!" He said, cracking a signature grin. Steve smiled back in return. "Are you gonna be ok?" he checked one last time. At the Captain's firm nod, he made his way to the door. Pausing on his way, he turned slightly "Keep talking to me Cap. I think I need it just as much as you do."