TW: This chapter is very much MA and if your uncomfortable with reading SA or Body horror pls skip to the other end of the TW I believe everything I write after explains if with enough detail that skipping won't affect the story
Chapter 4: Trust
Sheila POV
Waking up should never feel so good. For all his faults Ron makes a pretty amazing pillow. Can I really trust that his buffoonery is real? He basically admitted to going his entire life since his condition formed in 4th grade wearing a mask. Is it because he trusts me? Can his trust really just be given away like that? He trusts me with something and not the princess, just the idea of it sounds wrong. I shared so much myself. That is why he shared with me….. it's been so long since I've had a normal conversation. Even at resorts and vacation time nothing is ever civil.. It's either idiots trying to get at me or people so scared they practically were themselves. Even the guys I take to play with can't even do that right. How hard is it to make a girl feel wanted before giving into lust half the time their annoying action gets them running naked away. The other half they try to treat me like some exotic treasure pulling out their phones when they think I'm not looking. Not a single guy I try to get with has been anything but a disappointment. Maybe I should ask Ron...I just poured out so much to him now I'm trying to ask him for advice on getting laid. That wasn't me…. Well yeah I can't just lie to myself in my own thoughts. I guess I can trust him. We both have dirt on each other. His dirt is more than mine all I will get is a few pity gazes and shit thrown on Global Justice. If I said anything he told me it would isolate him. He'd be seen as a freak…. Like how I was Damn it Stoppable why do this to me? I can't even trust my own family and you just come in with that stupid room brightening smile and worm your way in. Ugh fuck my life…. I of all people trust Ron and Ronald Stoppable. The sidekick to what the world thinks is my rival. I don't need to have a mirror to my inner thoughts to know the very comfortable pillow under me is trustworthy even if I didn't have any dirt on him. Ugh dammit I'm feeling bad just thinking he'd use anything against me.
Is Ron awake? Why is he so quiet? I'm literally laying on his chest almost four times hotter than a normal body but nothing. No extra breaths taken or any sign he's awake. Damn him for pinching my asshole. The jerk even has the nerve to call me beautiful after practically fingerings me…. Well I put his hand there myself but what psycho just stays laid down with his eyes closed….. Yes subconscious I knew that was stupid everyone including me does it and I'm doing it right now.
I can't help but stretch and snuggle into my pillow further and much to my delight I feel his fingers sneak into my hair rubbing circle smoothly and I find myself drifting back to sleep. How can someone's fingers be able to do what a hundred dollar comb can't. Move through my tangle bound hair with ease and make it so pleasurable. I can't help letting my thanks be known before I slip into sleep.
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(TW please skip to after if not comfortable)
Where am I? Why did they bring me here? Did they realize I'm a part of Team Go? Even if I left I know it isn't gonna go away. I can hear whispers on the other side of the door. I look around the room they put me in. Seems like an interrogation room completely bare with only a chair. Probably looking for a reason for me to step in. Who wouldn't want to have it known world wide that a superhero helps your country.
They unlock the door and in steps an old man who makes his way in front of me. Following is a tray…. Why the heck is this guy looking at me like that?
"Hello Ms. Go I must say your reputation precedes you. Such beauty is rare throughout history let alone today's surgery founded world. You're all natural and exotic".
"Fuck off old fool how dare you come in here talking to me like that". I flare up or atleast I try to but everything's all woosy.
"My my my feisty little thing aren't you don't you worry that seat your sitting has given you something very strong to keep you mellow. Pass me the punishment tool this bitch needs to be broken before I can have my way. I'll have you beg for mercy or to warm my bed. Please do fight Ms. Go be stubborn and be a loud mouth. You wouldn't be the only woman to do so. The first didn't make it past a day. I enjoyed satisfying myself by using her corpse".
The shock and fear that ran through my soul was overwhelming. I could barely turn my stiff body to look at the old man holding a spiked max and a metal flogger. "Choose your fate Ms. Go. Would you like to become mine or to die….. I see you've chosen death. Well make a great cover story can't have an ex superhero escaping to have her freak family attack my country. Imagine the great Shego team go member attacked people in my country and was beheaded for her crimes".
Everything stops. I can't think and breathing hurts. I can feel it running through my system and the fact I can't move or even scream is too much. He walks up to me lifting my limp arm strongly for an old freak and his mace comes down on my arm coating my face with my own blood as the mace menaces my hand. I can feel everything the mace is breaking through my rose edge skin. It breaks my bones and tears apart my muscles. Suddenly I can move my hands again. They curl and move despite having nothing connecting it to my body.
"You really are a beautiful freak. I wonder if I cut my prize out will you still feel it". He grabs my hand and I'm back to being unable to move. He brings my hand and I can feel how rough and ragged his wrinkly disgusting hands are. He slowly takes off his pants where I can't look away and once they're down he goes for his underwear using my hand to grope himself. Seeing my pale hand touching this bastard is too much. Why? Why me? I've always been good. I've always tried to help people. I'm a hero, a woman of God. Why?... Why is this happening to me? Why would God choose this for me? Have I sinned horribly?
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(TW OVER)
Everything freezes. The old bastard was frozen. The noises from the tools being started up pauses as the door is opened showering the room with light. A blond guy is there glaring into the room so hard I flinch. Suddenly I can move again and my arm is back and green? Why is my arm green!? I look at myself. I'm all pale green with a weird looking torn jumpsuit. Who is this man and why am I like this…. He's so dreamy I'm stunned the thought to fight my tormentor doesn't arrive until after the blond had snapped his neck. I'm no killer but seeing the man die was satisfying and as the blond turns to look at me after turning the other man in the room to a puddle is magical. I can feel it just looking into those bright blue piercing eyes glowing with power should be scary but it's calming. Despite looking at me softly the eyes still had a mysterious power making me shake but…. I trust him this total stranger in some unknown creepy sex dungeon.
He looks at me and pulls me close into his arms. I don't know why I didn't fight, it just feels wrong. He's… comforting me, rubbing my back and running his hands thru hair. He's saying something I can't tell the words or hear what he sounds like but just seeing his lips move makes me feel like nothings wrong. He smiles down at me and suddenly I hear what he's saying. He knows my name… my real name.
" Sheila, don't give up on everything. Don't close yourself off, you can let people in. Even scum like him has people by them they can trust to do shitty things. Don't allow your life to be ruled by fear of trusting others. You can't choose who your family is and you can't choose whether GJ can or want to help you. You can choose who gets in here".
He taps my back ever so lightly, sending shivers down my spine. Did he mean my heart? His voice is so soothing even though admittedly puberty isn't quite done with him from the sounds of it. How is he so young but wise and so right.
" This right here is special. The world can try and take everything from you and leave you broken and hurting. The entire world can have a target on your back and the people who look up to you can be gunning for your life hell you can die right now. No one can ever take away what you feel. If you feel like someone is worthy of your trust then give it to them. If it goes bad it goes bad you just move on and learn that your trust is more valuable than you thought and your time is more valuable than anything else in the world to you unless you deem it more important". His fingers don't feel like they're going thru my hair anymore but rubbing his words directly to my soul. I have no choice but to believe him because deep down I know it's true. Flashes of memories not mine but mine are swarming me but I don't feel the same as those memories. The women in there is me but older and so emotionless. Yet I'm strangely attracted to her she's so… so so badass she does what she wants and is feared. I can't hear the man anymore and it feels like my chest hurts til he shows up. He's in my memories now as a child. I watch him closely despite my other self ignoring him. My other self might be confident and strong but she's dumb. It's clear as day theirs something not right with him. Even at times when he's captured he or his cute little animal friend save the day or bust a trap and run thru guys as big as Mt dumb brother like it's a peice of cake. I hate this other mr doesn't look at him more. She'd rather fight this red head kid. What's wrong with this other me?... Oh she lets her win for a bigger check. Not even Go city pays my family that much to keep them in the city. Theirs so many 0s in the bank God what I could do with shopping and that account. Maybe buy a few things for my blue eyed hero that set me free.
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I am Sheila Go. Shego the Shego the most feared woman on the planet. I'm no scared little girl.
I'm strong!
I'm powerful!
I'm important!
I don't fear anything… except being alone… Yet I'm not alone… not anymore. He's here with me. He knows me when the other me doesn't. I'm Shego not a robot not something barely moving thru life feeling it with meaningless objects and stringing along dumb buff guys so I feel something.
I'm Shego… No, I am Sheila. Shegos a mask gone too far. I'm not emotionally distant from everything. I've been out before and others who were angry kept me locked up further. I am the real Shego, the inner voice that tells her not to kill for a slight annoyance. The small part of her that wants…. No need to connect his words reached me.
Thank you Ron I… No we both needed you. Your words cut past all those defenses I put up myself for protection. It's not just for me. I can now hear again. We've changed, he's himself but I'm older and I can feel it. I feel safe with him. I can trust him. He's like me… not a freak because of his condition.
He's like me. Hiding from the world in a mask. While mine is serious he is that of a fool and like me he tricked everyone even himself.
I will be the same badass who rules those around me but it doesn't mean I have to be a cold wall. Despite being betrayed by my family and being told I was a liar for escaping my would be… no no thinking like that. He's right Global Justice didn't offer me justice and my literal army of family support didn't offer a word of support or understanding. Yet the buffoon that handed me a cake and kissed me softly saying he'd watch out for me. I took a chance and opened up to him once his wise words were spoken. They slipped past my mask and comforted me and now he's in. Just the idea of him doing something to me was so surreal I know he wouldn't and he knows I trust him.
"Thanks Ron". I'm so sleepy I don't hear his words if this is real or not I just slip into unconsciousness.
I'm awake… My dream was so weird. That was my usual nightmare but I didn't break out in my own power like my history proved. I didn't go to global justice only to get arrested and brought back to him for his fun. It didn't end right before my world crumbled as I'm taken. What did you do to me Ron...Fuck ofcourse I know what you did I can't look at your dumb face without feeling bubbly. Trust is something I give out my ass. You just reached further in me that that old bastard ever could and grabbed my trust like it was a free sample. You didn't have the decency to take one one or walk away you grabbed all of it and stared me down with that stupid friendly smile daring me to try and get it back.
Somehow I can tell he's awake when I open my eyes. I can feel he enjoys it as much as I do. They both do Ron and Ronald. I can feel it I'm blushing thinking of the two sides of him. Some might find it weird but it'd kind of adorable it's exactly like my brother's or princesses brothers. You'd think my brother just cloned himself if they weren't that little bit different and the fact I saw them before the powers. I need to pay attention to him more how'd the entire world not notice him. His two sides overlapped all the time. The bumbling funny, awkward, loyal, trustworthy, cute… The Ron side was brave, smart when he wanted, and athletic well that would be a woe changing revelation to anyone that didn't pay attention to him. Why does he allow himself to get bullied and why does everyone think he's a scrawny loser? He does things a bit awkwardly but trained professionals do for a career that takes years of training. Skydiving, rock climbing for hours, and parkour. It's honestly insane how dumb the world is… Ronald… Maybe it is a bit weird how a person could be so dramatically different and be the same person. His words, his mannerisms, God and how he made me feel so safe. How can someone be that wise. Every word felt like it shredded years of my life apart and how that dream punted the knowledge in my face and how that made me rethink my life. He's right about everything. Theirs been guys that approach me with kindness and I was too foolish to see that assuming they just wanted my body or they wanted a exotic girl under them…. Like that old bastard… fuck Ronald God how am I stupid enough not to see I was the one kicking and scratching at every guy because the actions of one. Their were definitely bad ones they're everywhere like an infection but I really let him win. I let that old bastard twist my life up till I kept everyone out of my reach just because I couldn't trust family or my should be protectors. I'm this strong but weak mess on the outside.
That's not me, I'm not a coward. I'm not gonna take my own shit anymore. It's my choice who I trust he's so right I feel like kicking myself in the teeth for ever thinking otherwise. I know what I need to do. Make both Rons my friend and revalue my relationships. Drakkens has always been there for me and his mother treats me like her own daughter. Motor Ed that idiot can go die, he's just one of those that wants a exotic beauty.
Another thing Ron shows that Ronald has. Wisdom I already know without seeing my skin is back to normal but I'm not Sheila anymore the scared little girl she was. I get up from my comfortable spot and right on que the blond pillow opens its eyes. Their blue and piercing filled with shock and awe and they turn brown with the same feelings carrying over. I'm somehow glad they both got to see me like this even though they both share the same head. Ron's eyes lose that cool calm collected feeling Rondalds has and they pop out that tiny amount when he's shocked.
"Surprised you did I Ron? Thanks for being my friend...well here for me". He cut off what else I was going to say and practically gave me a death glare while he said "Sheila we talked about this were friends if you want to be ofcourse".
"You're such a dork. Thanks for being my friend Ron as you can see back to being well not emotional dead inside or butter at the world. I don't know why but I feel like I can choose to be green now and well frankly I have no clothes that match my skin color now". He laughs at my attempt at humor in this overly serious moment. I can tell he thinks I'm slipping back.
"Could you not be so caring for a second? I'm doing what you wanted, following my heart. I've come to love green despite all the faults of being green. Besides if I ever do slip back I know a blue or brown eyed loser gonna come and rip me a new mindset…. I'm not claiming I'm gonna accept this change all at once. I think we both know how hard it is to face everything without it… well you know and I'm learning but if I do it I want to do it showing the scars of my old thinking. I still want to be Shego. I'm not gonna hide what I've become just to run away and pretend it didn't happen". My rant was cut short from me when a hand landed gently on my head. During my little rant rambling session Ronald had come out and I was back in my green skin.
" I'm proud of you Sheila". Oh God it's the buffoons smile with those eyes. I could look at him forever his smile so contagious I find myself smiling back like a child who got praise. He changes back to the soft brown eyes that I'm slowly getting used to. They fit the his smile perfectly warm and inviting. It's like his smile is literally brightening the entire roo… oh fuck. Quicker than I've ever moved I'd shoved Ron below me and slammed my plasma covered fists into a couple of tons of ice barely holding it in place from crushing us to death. If only Hugo's useless ass was here what he lack of a brain or family bonds he made up for in strength. It's heavy and I find myself pusher back down on top of Ron. Theirs no enjoying the teddy bear below me even when it hugs me and tries adding some leverage for me… Wait what the hell.
" Hello Sheila. Nice weather we're having a high chance of death and a goddess butt showering down". Ronald. I can tell by the way he talks. Soo since we're gonna die mind if I don't go out without not knowing about the dirty activity backdoor edition". "Now is definitely not the time Ronald stop distracting me and control you members down there".
"Be ready Sheila…. 1...2...2 and a half". Before I could yell at him or he finished counting he yanks me back with strength that he should be nowhere near.
I find myself sporting a headache and a daze outlook as Ronald decided slamming my head into the ice wall to avoid the spike was a good idea. "You better have a really good reason why I shouldn't break you buffoonald". I glare at Ronald but he has no reaction just giving me that cocky smirk.
"Sorry I'm used to getting saved by rodents and red heads not raven haired beauties. Please do hurt me Sheila I'll use my reward and force you to hang out with KP no fighting". The annoying guy in front pulls out a checkers set randomly from under the pillow and looks towards me.
" My idea of a first time hanging out as friends usually doesn't involve checkers, but I'm willing to change the norms with nothing else to do since the rooms closed off. Nothing else to do unless you wanna fall asleep to whoever dropped a couple tons of ice on us come down here to finish the job. Maybe we can turn it into the miles underground club".
"You're getting very cheeky Stoppable you sure you want me to take the two Vs today. Victory and your first time tsk tsk what would princess say". I smile at Ronald as he switches back to Ron. I can tell Ronald is way harder a nut to crack than Ron who's already blushing from his other half words… Wait… I yank up the pillow much to the amusement of my bedmate. Below the pillow is a chipped out hole with a hot plate and a bag of chips which I grab.
"Now I know how you cooked the food but how'd you get the food… actually speaking of how's. It's been days, don't you use the bathroom"? My curiosity still won't leave me alone. "Iron stomach Sheila I can stay good for maybe two weeks max". He's lying horribly but who cares better I didn't have to deal with the smell.
"Well Sheila we've come to an agreement that I'm gonna be the one taking care of this. We prolly have a decent amount of time before they try doing anything to the hole that ice left. Me and uhh Ronald both have come to terms with I'm the lover. You know the one to make you comfortable, to dominate you and have you begging for more, be all about pleasing my partner, to make sure they know they're only there to satisfy my needs, I'll make them feel loved and get em to the big O, I get what I need and leave them on the edge and bask in them begging for me to let them finish, and you know after care all that good stuff, and leaving them feeling grateful they got to serve me to my fill….then get ice cream".
Watching those two switch between each other in a good cop bad cop love making talking is too much. Confusing as all hell with only a slight difference to the way Ronald and Ron talk. I just grab my pieces from the crazy kid in front of me and don't even focus as Ronald dominates me in the game til I gather everything that was said at once.
They kinda both sound…. Nice. Whoever can handle the basket case is gonna have a very fun bedroom life.