"Which do you mean?" and turning round he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said: "She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me."

Mr. Bingley followed his advice. Mr. Darcy walked off; and Elizabeth remained with no very cordial feelings toward him. She told the story, however, with great spirit among her friends; for she had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in anything ridiculous.

P&P Chapter 3

"You might have warned me you were going to be a first-class asshole, Darce! If she retired you, she'd get a medal instead of a trial. That was a downright dickish thing to say. WTF were you thinking? I've a mind to kick your ass myself."

"Calm down, Bingley! You can't be much of a sidekick if you panic about every pissy little thing. It's all part of the plan. Elizabots are vain about their appearance. I had to gauge its reaction. Sorry if I offended your delicate sensibilities, but that has to be the first test."

"Elizabot or no, I'm half-surprised I'm not examining your entrails on the dance floor or being called upon to serve as your second."

"Don't sweat it. Bots never have brothers or strong fathers. They always swarm in female only families, and always have at least one human sister."

"Really! Why?"

"I suspect because brothers would get in the way of their autonomy."

"Point taken!"

"Yeah! Hey, for all I know, they just eliminate them… ah… early."

"Yikes! One thing I'm curious about. What does it mean that she just went over to one of her friends and started laughing at you like a misbehaving schoolboy?"

"I can't say. Like I said, Elizabots are a bit quirky, but that is in character with what I would expect based on the specs, and as you say, not in character with a real woman. Every real woman I know would have either gone off crying to her mother or given me a setdown that would send me off crying to mine – unless of course, I was facing an angry father, brother or uncle, but I already checked for that before I started the test."

"You're saying you're familiar with women in general enough to predict what they'll do, Darcy?"

"Well, fair play! You got me there! Maybe I spent too much time in bladerunner school and then hunting replicants. I spend 99% of my time hunting mayhem bots and they always manifest as male."

"Yeah, if a bot's going to be an asshole it will fit in better with our sex."

"Yeah… yeah… yeah! At any rate, the data point is indeterminate. Each test can rule out a bot, but you can't confirm one without a dozen more. We have more work to do."

"What do we do next?"

"Not much more we can do tonight. Whether it's a bot or a lady, we won't get any more good data, so let's wait until we meet again. Next time, I'll stalk around and spy on its conversations, check out its vocabulary, and see how it reacts. I guess you can dance a second set with the companion if you feel like taking your life in your own hands."

"Don't mind if I do, since I'm thinking you're barking up the wrong tree anyway. Fair warning though –"

"Out with it!"

"You may want to keep in mind that your 'tests' are likely to… ahhhh… terminate in the parson's mousetrap instead of a retirement if you're wrong. You're playing a dangerous game. The grave isn't the only risk you're facing."

"I'll keep my wits about me. When is our next round of torture… errr… social engagement?"

"In a few days. We're to Lucas Lodge for supper and dancing Monday week."

"All right. I'll prepare myself. Should be a good chance for some vocabulary and conversation analysis. Sometimes they give themselves away with verbal quirks."