"Did you not think, Mr. Darcy, that I expressed myself uncommonly well just now, when I was teasing Colonel Forster to give us a ball at Meryton?"

"With great energy; but it is always a subject which makes a lady energetic."

"You are severe on us."

"It will be her turn soon to be teased. I am going to open the instrument, Eliza, and you know what follows."

"You are a very strange creature by way of a friend, Charlotte! – always wanting me to play and sing before anybody and everybody! If my vanity had taken a musical turn, you would have been invaluable; but as it is, I would really rather not sit down before those who must be in the habit of hearing the very best performers…"

P&P Chapter 6

"Well Bingley, the performance was pleasing, though by no means capital."

"I agree, and I hear the companion doesn't play at all. What does that tell you?"

"It neither confirms nor denies. The Elizabots don't seem to be able to achieve technical mastery of music – it's just beyond their reach. If it had played like Georgiana, the test would be over. That said, Elizabots are reputed to be very expressive and able to fake it very well. She could be a bot or just a lady who doesn't want to fight her sister for a seat at the family pianoforte."

"Or someone who just isn't enamored with playing, or uninterested in impressing lunkheads like us, I suppose. In the end… not much then?"

"No, not much, aside from the fact that your sister is a royal pain in the ass. You really need to talk to her. She's worse than a goddamned barnacle."

"Maybe Caroline is a replicant, and you can retire her?"

"Don't give me ideas, Bingley."

"All right – well, back to the replicant… bot… young lady… what have you. Maybe you could flirt with it and Caroline will do the retirement for you – or vice versa."

"Haha – you have a certain amount of dickishness yourself, Bingley."

"Learned from the best. But –back to it– what did you tell Caroline, out of curiosity. She looks kinda pissed."

"I told her the bot had fine eyes on the face of a pretty woman."

"YOW! Is that smoke I smell."

"Not my fault if you can't keep your sister in line."

"You think you could?"

"No. You'd be talking to empty air because I would have cut my own throat years ago."

"Well, there you go! Back to this bot, what did you learn."

"She/it/whatever does in fact have damn fine eyes. That's in accordance with Elizabots. Their eyes are generally very fine by our standards –by design– but it's hardly definitive."

"Yes, there are ladies –actual human ladies, mind you– with fine eyes. There are even some with fine…"

"You sure you want to finish that sentence in a public place?"

"Probably for the best if I quit while I'm ahead… especially since we'll probably end up married to the pair of them. Back to business… so, your bot has fine eyes."

"She's not my bot."

"Well, you're calling 'it' a 'she', or 'she' an 'it' – I give up – these pronouns are killing me. English wasn't really designed for the bladerunner business."

"Might want to avoid words like 'killing' when we may be talking about replicants."

"Gotcha – but the same applies to ladies, so maybe just avoid all words related to either marriage or mayhem. Sooooo… so, so, so, so, so! Do we know any more than you did an hour ago?"

"Two things, really. First, I'm leaning towards bot, but nowhere near definitive."

"And the second."

"If she is a lady, she's goddamned gorgeous."

"HOHOHO! Has the great Fitzwilliam Darcy been struck down by a woman? Infected with the Love Virus. Ready to join the rest of us knuckle-draggers down here on Earth."

"Hardly! Get a grip! I just find her beautiful – not exactly a high crime."

"Fair enough – what's next. You gonna piss on her slippers… light her on fire… insult one of her sisters… what?"

"Don't be an asshole. Aside from the fact that it wouldn't be gentlemanly…"

"Go on."

"If it is a bot, insulting any of the 'sisters', and the companion in particular – well, that's a good way to commit suicide."

"Makes sense. So, answer the question, if you can still remember it. What's next?"

"Wait for the next gathering, I suppose. I need to check in on the militia. Sometimes we use them if a combat model shows up, and occasionally one of them is a replicant. It's a great place for mayhem bots to hide and get up to mischief. I need to check for both. Think you can swing a dinner invitation for the officers?"

"Can a freaking duck swim? I'm Charles Freaking Bingley – I could get tea with the queen if I really wanted to."

"No point in that Bingley. I know she's not a replicant."

"Why?"

"If she was, the King and the Prince Regent would be heads on spikes already."

"Yeah, there is that."