But the attention of every lady was soon caught by a young man, whom they had never seen before, of most gentlemanlike appearance, walking with another officer on the other side of the way. The officer was the very Mr. Denny concerning whose return from London Lydia came to inquire, and he bowed as they passed. All were struck with the stranger's air, all wondered who he could be; and Kitty and Lydia, determined if possible to find out, led the way across the street, under pretense of wanting something in an opposite shop, and fortunately had just gained the pavement when the two gentlemen, turning back, had reached the same spot. Mr. Denny addressed them directly, and entreated permission to introduce his friend, Mr. Wickham, who had returned with him the day before from town, and he was happy to say had accepted a commission in their corps. This was exactly as it should be; for the young man wanted only regimentals to make him completely charming. His appearance was greatly in his favour; he had all the best part of beauty, a fine countenance, a good figure, and very pleasing address.

P&P Chapter 15

"Holy crapola! That's George Goddamned Wickham."

"He's talking with the Bennets. That can't be good."

"It's not a problem if they're actually bots. They could eat a shithead like him for breakfast –but if they're ladies– well, not so much."

"Do we need to do something?"

"Nah! He's not dangerous yet, but it's one more thing I need to check. I grew up with him, but his personality seems to have changed recently. I need to examine him pretty carefully."

"What? You think he might have been substituted by a replicant?"

"It's entirely possible. That's how mayhem bots work. Seems unlikely, thought. There is something odd about him. For the moment, let's just leave him be. He won't make a public move yet."

"All right – although from the looks of things, you might get the answer to your bot question sooner than you think. Miss Elizabeth looks like she's ready to take Denny's sword and cut your head off."

"Yeah, I guess I haven't made that good of an impression. Bot detection behavior and courting behavior have very few intersections."

"Bot detection behavior and basic gentlemanly behavior aren't that compatible when you get right down to it. Maybe you better do something about it."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Well, if she's a lady and not a bot, you could woo her."

"Got no idea how to do that. Don't even know which gun to use."

"You are not serious?"

"Of course, I am. Five years in Blade Runner School. Another ten hunting replicants while avoiding the more mercenary ladies of the ton. Not a whole lot of successful wooing going on – as you can readily determine by my large number of successful retirements concurrent with my complete lack of anything remotely resembling a wife."

"So! Completely freaking clueless?"

"Wouldn't put it quite that pathetically."

"Ok, what level of patheticness… patheticality… patheticability – is there even a word to describe your state?"

"Lunkhead, maybe."

"Hmmm! Beats the shit out of me. Let's get on with the ball. I'll think of something."

"You need to reign your sister in if you want any fortune left. She'll be gold-plating the chamber pots if you aren't careful. You deal with her. I'll start running some tests on Wickham. I'm suspicious – very suspicious."