Naruto picked up his phone, taking in a deep breath and inhaling then exhaled, reminding himself that he was prepared to accept any punishment that Gaara wanted to give him.
It's been only one day since he ran off after the redhead confessed his feelings to him yet for the blonde it felt like eternity. After another moment of trying to calm himself down, he dialed Gaara's number and waited.
"Hello, Naruto-kun." The familiar deep voice greeted him.
"Hello Gaara-kun! Errm...would you happen to be free today or whenever? I'd like to talk to you about what happened yesterday and why I behaved so rudely it's not like you have to give me a chance or anything, I mean I get it if you don't want to talk to me anymore." Ranting, he knew that he needed to stop doing that.
The minute or so of silence felt like torture to the pacing blonde, biting down on the inside of his cheek.
"I am free later today. When and where would you like to meet?" The redhead asked calmly.
Naruto grinned "If it's alright with you...would you like to come to my place? I make one mean bowl of ramen...actually it's pretty much the only thing I know how to make." He let out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck "Is 7pm okay with you?"
"You...wish for me to visit your home?" Gaara sounded slightly surprised at the request.
"Is it weird? You don't have to if you don't want to! Ah...forget it if it's burdensome." The blonde was quick to say, rubbing the edge of his nose.
"It is not weird...I will be there at 7pm tonight." The redhead replied.
"Good, I'll see you at 7!" Naruto brightly said before hanging up and letting out a sigh of relief. The blonde sent his address to the redhead 710 Sage Street, Floret, NY, 01767.
The blonde looked at the time on his nightstand, it was only 10am he had 9 hours to make sure everything was perfect. He put on a fresh pair of orange sweatpants and hoodie with a black swirling design in the back, he added his running shoes and got his bottle of water then went for his morning run.
There was no point in getting down, it wouldn't fix anything...and he wouldn't run away, that just wasn't the way he liked to live his life. Would Gaara forgive him for how he acted and for what he would say today? He couldn't fall in love with someone and he certainly couldn't have a relationship, not after what he did.
During his run he stopped to buy the ingredients he needed to make his ramen and a bottle of Aloe Vera juice which had the pulp. Once back home he put everything in the kitchen and went to shower.
The day seemed to pass by too slowly, he was glad when he saw the time and read it was 7pm. The blonde was dressed in a white shirt with black pants and an orange jacket which had black line designs.
At 7 when he heard the bell ring he quickly went to get it, the noodles were already in the boiling water. He put on a bright smile as he opened the door, staring at the redhead.
Gaara was dressed in a crimson jacket which stopped at his knees with black pants and the small gourd around his waist. What was even more striking was the fact that the redhead didn't have his dark sunglasses on. For a moment the blonde simply stared, almost in a daze, his cheeks a bright red color. He was quite tempted to pull the redhead into a hug but stopped himself "Welcome to my humble abode, Gaara-kun." He brightly said, opening the door even more so that the smaller male could enter.
Gaara gave Naruto a small bag which surprised the blonde "T-Thank you, there was no need to bring a present." The blonde softly said, his sensitive nose picking up a delicious scent "...You got me coffee?! And some high class stuff too if my nose isn't lying to me."
"...You can smell all of that?" The redhead asked slightly surprised, walking deeper into the house. It was nicely decorated with a lot of pictures. He saw some pictures of Naruto with a white hair older man that had marking on his face, there was also some pictures of the blonde with other peoples, the jaded green eyes stopping when he saw a grinning and young Naruto with a young raven boy next to him who looked annoyed and a pinkette girl staring fondly at the raven, there was a man with silver hair and half of his face covered who looked happy.
"I did say my nose has been compared to a canine's." Naruto said amused "Thank you for the coffee beans!" He moved to hug the redhead then stopped himself, rubbing the back of his neck "Sorry...habit." He murmured before heading toward the kitchen. The blonde took out the coffee from the bag, looking at the name of it "I've been wanting to taste this coffee, thank you!" He added it to his coffee collection and checked on the noodles.
"Would you like me to take your jacket? Also, would you like something to drink? I found some Aloe Vera juice that claims to be organic and natural." Naruto was trying to remind himself what it was that they were meant to be talking about, he couldn't get distracted by Gaara's good look.
"I am fine thank you and a glass of aloe juice sounds well." The redhead politely replied, looking at all the different pictures then stopped once more when he saw the blonde grinning with a small raven child that had red glasses hugging the blonde, a shy smile on her face, there was a few more of Naruto with the raven child in different ages from a toddler to what looked to be an elementary school student "Do you have a daughter?"
Naruto tilted his head in confusion, getting a glass and the juice "Ice?" He asked, waiting for the response before adding the juice by itself and bringing it to the redhead "Oh, she's not my daughter...I guess you could call her my niece."
"You have a lot of pictures...are they all your family?" Gaara asked, grabbing the glass and thanking the blonde before taking a sip of the drink.
"Not biologically...never met my biological parents, that's them the redhead woman grinning with the blonde that's smiling sheepishly...and that one is the only picture I have of the three of us, my mother was 5 month pregnant there...they died shortly after."
"I am sorry...I never met my mother either, she died giving birth to me." Gaara softly said, staring at the picture of Naruto's parents.
"So did mine..I don't know the details too well just that they both died protecting me. The white hair pervert there is my godfather Jiraiya, he told me a lot of the things I know about my parents...apparently I was named after the main character in his novel...and the one with the scar on his nose is my foster father and sensei Iruka...he was the first one to show me kindness growing up. " Naruto smiled happily as he pointed out who everyone was until he made it to the one with the raven, pinkette and silver hair male.
"The raven is Sasuke-kun...That's Sakura when she was younger and that was our teacher and Sasuke's foster father, Kakashi-sensei." He softly said. The blonde went back to the kitchen to check on the noodle "Do you have any pictures of your mother? You said she gave you her blood in order for you to survive."
"My father did not like having pictures of her in our home, I only know that she looked just like Yashamaru and Temari." The redhead replied, looking away from all the pictures and heading toward the kitchen as well.
"I am sorry that you did not get to meet her...I am sure she must have been a very kind person since you are kind." Naruto gave a sad smile, thinking about his own mother. "Who is Temari?" He asked, turning off the stove and grabbing two bowls then poured the ramen on each and decorated it on top with some leaves before moving to put it on the diner table.
"...Temari is my older sister…" Gaara responded after a minute, waiting for Naruto to sit down then sat down and murmured a "Thank you for the food."
"...You have siblings?!" Why was Naruto so surprised? He was unsure.
"Yes...two older siblings. Temari and Kankuro." Gaara replied simply.
"Oh wow…I thought you were an only child like me. Do they look like you? How old are they? Are they both redheads like you? Do you guys get along?" Naruto asked excitedly, practically bouncing off his seat. The closest that he had to siblings were Sasuke and Sakura.
"...No, Temari is a blonde and looks like our mother...Kankuro has brown hair and looks like our father. Kankuro is 2 years older than me and Temari is 3 years older." The redhead replied, looking down at the bowl of ramen "..Get along? They both blame me for our mother's death as does my father."
"But it wasn't your fault that your mother died, Gaara-kun! I am sure she wouldn't want to see that happening and that she would rather all of you get along!" The blonde said passionately.
"But it was my fault Naruto-kun...I am not pure like you. Since the moment I was born I have been a killer. It is said that the spirit of an angered monk was entered inside of my mother against her will which led to me being born premature and ripping out of her until she bled out. She named me Gaara...a demon who can only love itself." The redhead eyes looked unsteady, a hand moving to scratch at the red kanji on his forehead "I carved the kanji for love on my forehead to always remind myself that the only person I need to love is myself, the only person who will protect me will be myself and that I am a monster who can only survive on the blood of others."
This was the most that Naruto had heard Gaara talk, he got up and moved closer to the redhead then crouched down and pulled the redhead into a tight hug, his eyes watering "I am sorry that you have had to suffer so much...that you have had to carry such a massive burden for who knows how long." Tears ran down his cheeks, feeling the cooler body against his own, wishing that he could take all that pain away.
"...Naruto?" Gaara asked in shock, stiffening at the physical contacts but did not pull away "...This is the first time someone has truly cried for me."
"S-Sorry, I guess I can be too emotional...but it's not fair...why should you be treated any differently just because your mother sacrificed herself for you? She loved you enough to choose your life over her own!" Naruto sobbed out, his head resting on the smaller shoulder.
"My life over her's?" Gaara had never heard it like that before, he was always being accused of taking her life. Hesitantly he moved an arm, awkwardly rubbing his hands up and down the broader back "Please don't cry for me."
Naruto felt his cheeks reddened when he felt the smaller hand on his back, a shiver running down his spine. He pulled away slightly, bright cerulean blue eyes staring at the jade ones, lips quivering slightly "I am sure she happily gave her life for yours...that you were made from the love that your mother felt toward you. Not because you are a demon that can only love itself...but because you are her precious child whom she loved and wanted to protect, believe it!" Naruto moved to cup the redhead's pale cheeks and rest their forehead against each other, giving a warm smile.
The blonde was surprised when he felt soft lips against his own, eyes widening in shock. A tanned hand moved to cover his lips when the redhead pulled away, both of them blushing brightly. Naruto was quick to get up and take a few steps back, a troubled look on his face.
"I like you, Naruto-kun." The redhead repeated the same words as last night and with as much confidence.
"I...can't be with you Gaara-kun or with anyone else...not after the sin that I committed." Naruto replied with a pained look on his face.
"What sin?" Gaara asked softly, watching the blonde, wishing he could erase that pained look.
"You say that you are a killer...but I am the real killer. I killed my best friend, Sasuke." The blonde softly said, moving to touch his prosthetic arm.
"It's my fault that we got into that nasty argument in the car...and it's my fault that he wasn't seeing where he was going...and that we crashed. Sasuke tried to push me out and save me but it was too late. He got the full impact of the hit." Naruto looked down at the floor "We both lost an arm...but I got off with just that while Sasuke...that bastard is still sleeping...and hasn't been able to watch his daughter grow up. If I hadn't been so greedy he would still be alive...I am the one that should have died that night...I am the one that should still be in the coma wasting away. I made a promise that in order to atone for my sins I would never do something foolish again like fall in love...or want someone so I am sorry Gaara-kun...I really like you..and I think under different circumstance...if things had been different...maybe I could have fallen in love with you but I am the real monster here." Tears streamed down his cheeks, unable to look at his guest.
"You are only making excuses and running away, Naruto-kun." Gaara firmly said "Your friend Sasuke would not want you living like a dead person, he would have wanted you to move on."
"I am not running away! I am the one that started the argument in the car even though I knew it would lead to trouble! I keep hurting everyone around me...what if Kurama was right and I am only good at hurting those I care for?" The blonde looked at the redhead with a pained expression "What if I end up hurting you even more, Gaara? I don't want you to die as well...I don't want to keep losing those that I love!"
"You are running away...and using love as an excuse. I for one will not die so easily, Naruto-kun." The redhead calmly said "If you do not believe me...give me a chance to show you, become my partner." The redhead sounded so sure of himself, so calm. Naruto envied that a bit.
The blonde sniffed and shook his head "I can't…I can't risk hurting you too...I can't Gaara...I can't." The blonde brokenly said, remembering all the blood sipping out and Sasuke's dark eyes staring at him. He could still remember the weak smile his best friend gave him and the weak 'You...idiot' that the raven had said before closing his eyes.
"You are hurting me right now, Naruto! You are making this place ache again!" Gaara snapped, finally losing his cool, his hand slapping where his heart was.
Naruto felt his eyes widened at the outburst and stared at the jaded eyes then wiped away his tears "...I...could you please give me a few days, Gaara-kun? Please...just a few days and I will give you a proper answer." The blonde begged.
The redhead sighed softly, running a hand through his hair "You have 2 days to make up your mind." Gaara sounded tired as he said those words and stood up, shaking his head before storming out.
Naruto watched Gaara leave and bit his bottom lip. He let out a shaky breath, staying in the silence for what felt like hours before going to shower. 'You stupid idiot...you ruined everything like always! Nothing good can ever stay near you because you ruin everything!' He mentally scolded himself, the voice that he had named 'Kurama' scolding him.
Once done showering he ate the cold ramen and groaned out then went to lay down, taking his sleeping pills to help him fall into a deep slumber.
Naruto woke up to the sound of a familiar ringtone "Sakura...did something happen?"
"That's what I would like to ask you, Naruto!" His best friend exclaimed "I was about to head over to yours...I've been calling you since yesterday! We were meant to discuss your appointment to check your arm!" She snapped "What happened?"
Naruto yawned, feeling confused and checked his phone then felt his eyes widened...he's been asleep literally for a whole day!"Crap, I am sorry Sakura...I tried to take a nap but apparently slept for a whole day instead." He said feeling guilty.
"You...are sleeping all day again? What happened, Naruto...did you get a relapse?" Sakura's voice was filled with worry.
"I am fine! I just...I won't betray Sasuke or you." The blonde sadly said.
"Betray? What are you talking about, Naru?" The pinkette worriedly asked.
"It's my fault that Sarada and you aren't with Sasuke right now...the least I can do is dedicate my life to making sure that the two of you are taken care of...I won't date anyone...I won't let anything or anyone distract me from my duty to you." The blonde softly said.
"Oh Naruto...Sasuke wouldn't have wanted you to be like this... I don't want you to be like this. I told you already...what happened wasn't your fault, the road was slippery and Sasuke-kun lost control...there was nothing you could have done. He wouldn't be happy knowing that you are still torturing yourself over that. He'd want for you to be happy, if there is someone that you like, go for it." The pinkette gently said, voice sounding choked up "I hate the thought of you being alone...who is the person that you like, tell me." She ordered.
Naruto hesitated then told Sakura about Gaara, about how he looks like a delicate porcelain doll but has a really deep and hoarse voice...about how kind the redhead is and how innocent as well. "He asked me to be his partner...but I can't do that to Sasuke and you." The blonde softly said.
"Oh Naruto...please give him a chance..honestly I think dating will do you a world of good and he sounds like he's perfect for you. When you have a chance...bring him over, I would love to meet him." She gently said "I need to go and pick up Sarada from her martial art class...but you listen to me and give that boy a chance...do it for Sasuke and for me, please." With that she murmured her departure and hung up.
Naruto sighed, letting out a groan while thinking about his options and how Gaara made him feel. He dialed Gaara's number and waited until the redhead picked up.
"Hello, Naruto-kun." Gaara sounded exhausted.
"Hello, Gaara-kun...I have made up my mind." The blonde softly said "If...you'll have me...if it's really alright with you, I'd like to give us a try...all I ask is for us to take things slow. Truth is I haven't dated in a really long time...and I really like you. I like the way you snort when you think I've said something funny...the way your jade green eyes make me think of glass...how you seem to be curious about everything and how nice you are...I like hearing your voice and feeling your smaller body against mine when I hug you." Somehow it ended up turning into a really long confession, his cheeks bright red and his heart still feeling conflicted but he couldn't keep sulking.
"...Gaara-kun? Hello?" The blonde worriedly asked after about two minutes of silence.
"You are accepting to be with me?" Gaara slowly asked.
"Errmm...ah...yes...to try things out!" The blonde replied flustered.
"Thank you, Naruto-kun." The voice sounded more gentle and made Naruto feel warm.
"You shouldn't thank me...I should be the one to do that...I can't promise that our relationship will be perfect...but I'd like to try...I want to be able to tell my friends that you are mine...to feel our hands against each other and make you laugh again...but most importantly I want to show you that you aren't a monster capable of loving only itself...you are Gaara...you are my Shukaku." This was so embarrassing, the blonde could feel his ears turning bright red.
A snort was heard "I have to finish up some work...but will you be free during the weekend?" Gaara asked softly.
"H-Hai, I'll see you during the weekend then!" Naruto brightly said and grinned, wondering what type of job Gaara did.
"Goodnight, Naruto-kun." The redhead murmured.
"Goodnight, Gaara-kun...sweet dreams." Naruto softly responded then hung up and hugged the phone to his chest.
'It's okay for me to try again...Sakura said it's okay...so why do I feel so guilty?' Naruto mentally wondered.
A.N:/ I need a friend like Sakura who has enough interest in my love life that she tells me to go get the man/ woman lol. I love the friendship that Sakura and Naruto have in this story. Also, yeah, you guys get to hear a bit about what happened in Naruto's past, you'll learn more in later chapters.
As always, plead Read, Review, Fave/ Follow. Let me know that you are interested.