Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Unchained Explorers.
Chapter Two: An attempted boss battle...against water.
AKA, two fools jump through a waterfall, a brief encounter with the Pokémon incarnation of sheer terror, and more sexual tension than you can shake a full EoS inventory slot of ninety-nine sticks at.
"Secret" Waterfall.
Having previously packed our now standardized exploration kit, the two of us stared at the rushing water in front of us, and Vulpix turned to look at me, "So...there's a cave entrance on the other side of this?"
I nodded, grimacing at the sheer speed of the water's flow, and knew full well that this was not going to fun, at all. "Yeah, though I'm pretty sure we're way over-leveled for this. I'm pretty sure the recommended level for this place is fourteen, and we're a bit over that."
Vulpix reached out a hand to touch the water, and flinched backwards with a grimace of displeasure, "There aren't any...bosses, right? I'd rather not have to jump back through this after fighting something worse than Drowzee."
Pulling up the items menu, I considered whether or not we'd end up regretting not having packed a heavier kit for this, before raising my hands in a shrug as Vulpix turned to look back at me, "Nah, though I hate to quote Andrew Del Rio from Halo 4-"
Vulpix rose an eyebrow in amusement, before I continued, "This is pretty much a blow-through op, as far as we're concerned. No bosses, lower leveled enemies... theoretically, the only thing we should have to worry about is the flood trap at the end, though there are quite a few Water-type Pokémon, but that part isn't anything we're not used to."
Vulpix nodded in agreement, before I walked forward toward the waterfall, silently hoping that we hadn't managed to get the wrong one...
Oh hey, there's that dizziness again. Hello reality's silent screaming, my old friend, I've come to not talk with you again, or some shit like tha-
Ṕ̶̳o̴̠͠s̶̙͂s̶̟͛i̸̯̾b̴̖̉i̷̡͗l̶̬̒í̶͍t̸̝͌y̶̦̑.
Oh for fuck's sake-
D̴͓̓a̷̠͋t̵͚̂ā̷̢.
I swear, if this is some kind of Shardspeak shit from Worm, I will ask for a fucking refund, you Entity network bullshit-
S̴̪̆i̶̻͂g̴͚̀ẖ̴̇t̷̪̑,̵̤͋ ̷̘̇š̸̟ọ̷̑u̶͚͝n̵̤͝d̶͙͐,̷̱̎ ̸͇̏u̵̘͛ñ̸̲d̸̖̿ę̴͒r̵̠͒s̷͎̀t̴͕̃á̸̠n̷̪͌ḏ̵̌ï̶̗n̴̤͂g̶̙̏ ̷̢͛o̶̩̓f̴̣̄ ̷̤̃w̵͉͗ẖ̸̃ȃ̴̪ṱ̷͆ ̴̧̈c̵̘̈́ǫ̷̈u̵͖̐l̴͎͒d̶̺̋ ̷̃͜a̷̪͛n̷̡̛d̴̰̄ ̸͙̚ẅ̷̺́ḫ̴̈a̵̺̾t̶͍̿ ̴͎̊w̴̡̉o̶̟̓u̷̝͌l̴̳͊d̶̮̆ ̷̮̿n̴͉̒ȍ̷͎t̷̡̑ ̶̡̓ḇ̴͊e̵̝̕.̶͚́
Right, just cough up the fucking vision already, I want to make sure we're in the right place-
Ǩ̷̭n̶̰͐ó̴̖w̸͚̐l̴̳̔e̶̟͝d̶̙̔g̸̜̈́e̸̤̚,̴͚̾ ̶̘͐e̶͔̽x̷̎ͅp̵̝̓ě̶͍ṟ̸̀ȋ̷̘e̶͙͐n̵̜̈́ć̷̮è̷͖,̷̻͠ ̸͒͜u̵͍͝n̵̰͆d̷̯͒e̴͕̐r̸̘̈s̵͉̅t̸͍͘a̸̖͐n̵͉͛d̴͊ͅḯ̶̬n̵̨̚g̸͘ͅ.̴̹̅
A single figure, shrouded in shadows born from the echoes of a time that was. Then, the figure approaches the waterfall and runs directly into it, falling through onto a rocky platform, and entering the cave it had hidden within itself.
Rising to my feet from where I had fallen into a kneel, I grimaced as the headache faded, and turned my head towards Vulpix, smiling at her as I brought a hand up to hold her own, where it had been placed onto my left shoulder out of concern.
"Yeah...Dimensional Scream just confirmed it for me. This is the place."
Frowning at the water rushing just as hard as it had been for the last five minutes, Vulpix sighed. "This...this isn't going to be fun, is it?"
Snorting in amusement at the blatant understatement, I nodded, "Oh yeah, it's going to fucking suck, and not even in a good way."
Turning away from Vulpix's amused stare, I held her hand tightly in my own, and activated Agility, taking care not to overdo it.
Speed increased.
Glancing to the left as Vulpix activated her own Agility- speed increased -I set myself into what wasn't Riolu's ridiculous fucking Naruto run, and sprinted forward, Vulpix keeping pace as we, hand in hand, approached the waterfall as Wigglytuff had done before us, and plunged directly into it.
Fucking hell that's cold, and also...ow.
Coming to a stop as we briefly rolled across the smooth ground, Vulpix laying directly on top of me, we both breathed in heavily, soaked and cold, as I tried to ignore the fact that Vulpix's breasts were pressing into my chest and her nipples had hardened beneath her fur, while simultaneously not trying to ignore the fact that Vulpix was still letting off heat despite having just been soaked, obviously a part of her nature as a Fire-type Pokémon.
Holding her in as non-sexually a way as I could despite the fact that our pelvises and chests were very much connected, the two of us tried to recover from briefly experiencing the full and very cold force of a waterfall.
Raising herself up until she was straddling my waist, Vulpix stared down at me, eyes widened and red visibly rising underneath her fur, though she made no moves to get up until I rose an eyebrow at her, trying as hard as I could to ignore the fact that I was very much hardening underneath her.
Given the way that she looked around us, at almost anything that wasn't my pelvis, she had probably felt it against her, as well.
Both of us still visibly embarrassed due to my rather noticeable arousal, she met my eyes and silently nodded toward the cave entrance I had seen in my vision.
Smiling in a way that I hoped couldn't be recognized for how awkward it was, I asked a single question. "Ready?"
As I silently thanked any deity that was listening for my having succeeded in not stuttering the fuck out of that single word, up to and including Arceus despite the fact that I didn't know if he/it/whatever/llama actually existed in the 4th Gen Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games, she replied. "Y-yeah, let's go."
Though, as we walked into the dungeon together, I still managed to see a smile form on her face, even as we promptly found ourselves in a room that hadn't been in front of us five seconds ago, two paths leading from it to the east and south of us, as we quickly scanned the room for enemy Pokémon.
Oh hey... is that a Wooper? Haven't seen one of those yet...oh shit, some money, we could use that.
37P obtained.
Vulpix promptly switching places with me as it approached us, I immediately slammed an enhanced- attack increased, attack increased -Force Palm directly into its center mass, propelling its unconscious body backwards into the nearest wall as Vulpix carefully watched for anything approaching my back.
Briefly looking between the two paths, Vulpix and I chose the south one, immediately coming face to eyes with a Tangela two "tiles" away as we entered the room, which I promptly used Flamethrower on because no, idly declining its unspoken request to join us- Tangela went away -before continuing our way south along the dungeon's western side.
Coming to an unfortunate dead-end, we had to back-track to the previous room, before going down its eastern path, though it quickly decided that deception was a virtue and curved north, the two of us ending up in the room to the direct east of where we had "spawned in", though it at least narrowed down our options for where to go, considering that there was now only one unexplored path for us to take.
...and then the dungeon promptly decided to say "fuck you" again, as the path immediately forked off to the east and south, the two of immediately choosing the east because why not.
Oh hey, some more money.
31P obtained.
Fuckin' yoink.
After a brief trip through the floor, including immediately slapping the shit out of another hostile Tangela with Force Palm and strategically speeding up the hallway traversal via the restrained use of Agility, we finally came to the first downwards stairway of the dungeon, with a bit of money right next to it- 43P obtained -, I promptly took point with a Force Palm ready, Vulpix following me down the stairs as we descended deeper into the dungeon, the flickering light of a low-powered Flamethrower on our every breath lighting our way down the stairs.
Acute Sniffer activated. Total Items on this floor: 1.
Well...that's just kind of sad.
Immediately upon entering the B2 Floor, Vulpix promptly sent a Flamethrower down-range as I looked around, spotting both the stairs and the floor's singular item behind us and in the exact opposite direction from the two incoming hostile Pokémon, snorting to myself as her Flamethrower, with neither hesitation nor mercy, put the approaching Wooper down hard, a second flaming lance spilling from her lips and sending the remaining enemy, a Grimer, directly into a dreamland probably filled with flames and hot Cheetos.
Briefly activating Agility in order to snag the nearby Pecha Berry- Pecha Berry obtained -and throw it into our fucking quantum-linked Bag of distinctly limited Holding, I rejoined Vulpix as the two of us once again went down some stairs.
Speeding through the winding corridors with Agility as we promptly ignored the floor's items- Acute Sniffer activated. Total Items on this floor: 4 -in order to get this shit done, we came upon the floor's stairs and went down.
Total Items on this floor: 4. And down... oh shit that's a Grimer directly in front of me, Force Palm to the face!
Grimer went away... oh hey, money. 29P obtained.
Briefly backtracking as we went in one giant fucking circle- oh, more money? 54P obtained -we continued our run towards the stairs, with me Force Palm-ing everything in our path and both of us silently ignoring the small pile of Geo Pebbles in one of the rooms, and one instance where a Tangela attempted to ambush Vulpix as we passed by, only to be immediately hit with a Flamethrower for its troubles... oh hey, some more money. 37P obtained.
We finally reached the stairs, after having gone through every other fucking room on the floor, and descended.
...only to be immediately ambushed by a Poliwag and Lotad after stepping out of the stairwell, the next descending staircase directly behind the two hostile Pokémon, who would immediately come to regret their decision upon being introduced to multiple Agility boosted Force Palms courtesy of one vaguely annoyed explorer, the other stumbling directly into the path of another after having hit by a Confuse Ray courtesy of Vulpix.
Grimer picked up the White Gummi- yeah yeah, we don't really care.
And down... Lunging past Vulpix, she leaned to the side for me as I slammed a Force Palm into an approaching Lotad, her breasts briefly pressing against my chest before I stabilized myself, the two of us sharing a quick smile as we continued on, stopping only to Force Palm an intercepting Barboach and collect some shit.
37P obtained, Apple obtained.
Oh hey, an Orb...let's see what that is...ooh, nice, we could use that. Totter Orb obtained.
Switching to Brick Break as I discovered that I had temporarily exhausted my use of Force Palm, I immediately slapped an ambushing Wooper into the wall on the opposite side of the small pond we were crossing near, before the two of us finally found the stairs.
And down...holy shit is that a Kecleon Shop?
Exchanging a mutually wary glance with Vulpix as we looked over the rather sad amount of items spread over the Kecleon's patterned rug and glancing at the lime green Gummi that the Pokémon in question was standing over, I briefly tapped a finger against the only other item on it, the barest of touches enough to let the menu identify it as a Drought Orb, before cautiously pulling my finger back to zero noticeable reaction from the Kecleon cheerfully watching us, its stripes glowing either as a mere trick of the light or as a hint to the sheer power contained within its unassuming form.
"Okay, so, Vulpix, here's what I like to call Exploration Rule One."
"Oh, and what is that?"
"Do not, under any sane circumstances, fuck with the Kecleon, because they can probably one-shot fucking Arceus himself."
Undoubtedly remembering what I had told her on the Beach the day we met, Vulpix nodded and followed me away from the shop and its nigh-deity of an owner without a word of protest, helped by the fact that it really didn't have anything we'd want to begin with.
Not that I would have attempted anything without having a kit specifically meant to defeat or redirect what were basically an order of assassin gods, or, failing that, having both evolved and reached whatever level would be considered sane for fighting Kecleon.
Pausing briefly to collect a few non Kecleon Shop items- Pink Gummi obtained, Sleep Seed obtained, Power Band obtained -and smack a hostile Surskit into next week, we continued on towards the stairs, once again using a single boost of Agility to speed our way through the corridors.
Though, unfortunately, as we sped through the corridors, we came upon two Wooper attempting to block the path, who were promptly greeted with a single Brick Break from each of us, Vulpix leaning past me to slam hers into the second Wooper as it stepped over its now unconscious ally, her body pressing against mine in the narrow tunnel as the Wooper let out a panicked Mud Sport into the air, the resulting localized rain of mud hitting neither of us as Vulpix attempted to shuffle back behind me and we stiffened nearly in unison.
Both of us suddenly becoming very aware of the position that we were in as I felt myself harden against her, her B-cup breasts pressing against my chest as we stared directly into each other's eyes, Vulpix leaning her head toward me...
And then a fucking Poliwag immediately came around the corner and promptly hit us both with a Water Gun, startling Vulpix into pushing herself past me as I furiously slammed a Swords Dance and Agility enhanced- attack increased, attack increased, speed increased -Brick Break directly into its center mass, the Poliwag's body forming a deep crater in the corner's bend as we walked past it without a second glance, Vulpix refusing to meet my eyes out of embarrassment and me refusing to look at the motherfucker who interrupted us purely due to my own disappointment and anger towards it.
Grabbing her hand and pulling her into a hug, I rested my head on her shoulder as she did the same on mine, our bodies pressing against each other as I spoke, "Vulpix...I'm not disappointed in you, believe me. Just...maybe not right now?"
Pulling away from the embrace to look directly into my eyes, she frowned. "Why...why not, Riolu? Is it because- because...?"
"Am I not good enough, Riolu?"
Resting my forehead against hers as I tried to force my Aura to convey my emotions and failed distinctly at that shit, I smiled gently, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't start crying. "No, no. It's just that, well...I feel like if we did anything like that now, it'd just feel like we were doing out of spite, and I...I wouldn't want it to be like that. I wouldn't want it to feel like we'd be doing that just because someone stopped us before.
"...I just want that kind of thing to be when we want it to happen, on our terms, not when we feel forced into doing it."
Mentally sighing in relief as I gently wiped away the tears that had formed in her eyes, I smiled at her and nodded towards the stairs that I hoped would signify the end of this dungeon.
Pulling away, I grabbed on to her hand and held it gently as we turned toward the stairs together.
Then, as we took a step towards the stairs, I felt her lips press against the fur of my left cheek, Vulpix leaning over to lay her head on my shoulder as she spoke once more.
"Thank you, Riolu...thank you."
Then, we descended the stairs, a low-powered Flamethrower from the palms of our free hands lighting the way...and immediately emerged in front of a Wooper.
Oh Arceus fucking dammit! What the fuck is this distinct bullshit!?
Floor: B8.
Fueled by nothing more than sheer spite and feeling directly offended by the dungeon on a deep and spiritual level as Vulpix laughed softly at the stream of curses coming from between my lips, I slammed a Brick Break directly into the unsuspecting Wooper's center mass, hitting it so hard that I send its unconscious body far enough for it to flatten an approaching Lotad and knock it out as well, Vulpix idly extending her free hand to collect the money laying on the ground as we passed by it, still trying and failing to suppress her giggling.
37P obtained.
Hefting Vulpix into my arms in what could very much be called a bridal carry if the embarrassed yelp was anything to go by, I considered myself so completely and utterly done with this fucking dungeon that I activated Agility multiple times- speed increased, speed increased, speed increased -and sped down the corridors as fast as I was willing to safely go, ignoring the feeling of the menu's hunger status warning- getting hungry... -and slamming furious Brick Breaks into everything in my path as I sped through the corridors and rooms in search of what I now knew to be the final staircase, Vulpix idly clothes-lining a Wooper with a Force Palm as we passed by it.
67P obtained, 73P obtained, Special Band obtained, Sleep Seed obtained.
Getting dizzy from hunger...
And then, fucking finally, just after I received that message, we found the stairs.
Vulpix immediately began to poke my arm until I gently set her down on her feet, and then withdrawing an Apple from the menu and shoving it into my now shaking hands- huh, when did I fall to my knees? -before gently helping me guide it to my mouth as she stared at me in concern, until I finally took a bite- holy fucking shit when did the taste of these things become so utterly glorious? -and she smiled in relief, ignoring my muffled protests that I would've eaten it as soon as I felt the need.
Helping me to my feet, Vulpix just continued smiling as she nodded her head towards the stairs- oh hey, those exist here now... -and refused to let go of my hand as we finally descended to the end of the dungeon.
Together, we stepped into a cave embedded with crystals, two of which I would've fucking sworn were some kind of evolution stones at first glance, both of us staring in awe at the crystals, another of which very much resembled an actual fucking diamond from my original world, before turning our attention to the large crystal in front of us, which looked distinctly suspicious in a way that I could not place for the life of me.
"the only thing we should have to worry about is the flood trap at the end".
Oh...Oh fuck!
Apparently having forgotten our discussion from before we dove into the waterfall, though it was admittedly understandable that she had done so, Vulpix approached the crystal, and as I stepped forward to stop her, or warn her, or...anything, really, I was suddenly hit with the exact dizziness that heralded the Dimensional Scream.
Ṕ̶̳o̴̠͠s̶̙͂s̶̟͛i̸̯̾b̴̖̉i̷̡͗l̶̬̒í̶͍t̸̝͌y̶̦̑.
What, no! No fucking possibilities! Stop!
D̴͓̓a̷̠͋t̵͚̂ā̷̢.
N̸̤͘e̶̹͛g̷̢̑a̶̡̛ẗ̶̗í̷̙o̴̖͂n̸̬͛!̵̺̎ The data's fucking redundant, I already know that shit!
Ả̴̺f̶̞̚f̵͋͜i̷͙̒r̸̞̕m̴̙̅a̵̠͆t̶̪́ȋ̶̮o̵̦̒ń̸ͅ.̴͔͒ ̸̞̄N̷̹͑ę̴̑c̸͓͋e̶̱̓s̴̓ͅs̴̬̑ḭ̵͛t̴͚̾y̶͚̆.̷̹̀
NO! NO FUCKING NECESSITY, YOU SHARD-SPEAKING FUCKWIT! STOP! NOW!
.̸͉̅.̵̤̉.̴̖̃Ȃ̴̯c̵̦̉c̴̺̉e̷̫̊p̴̻͐t̶̠̑a̴̭̎n̸̙͝ċ̴̩é̸̝.̵̪́
Head absolutely pounding as I attempted to recover from the aborted Dimensional Scream, I rose to my feet just in time to watch as Vulpix pulled at the literally and metaphorically trapped crystal, before falling against it as she briefly lost her footing...and both of us heard a single click.
As Vulpix backed away and I began to hear a faint rumbling sound, a single glance between us belayed her sudden realization of what she had just done, we both turned as the rumbling increased... and a flood of water came towards us from around a corner at approximately the speed of "fuck you".
Briefly lamenting the fact that we hadn't picked up a Protect TM and learned that shit, if only for the attempt, I dove at Vulpix as she took a single step toward me, pushing her to the ground as the deluge of water measuring at a volume of Yes swept both of us off of the ground and out of a nearby tunnel.
And after the new geyser pushed us up and up...well, we all know that one phrase, right?
What goes up...must fucking come back down.
The two of us hit the water from a height that probably would've outright killed a human or at least seriously injured them, and yet, as we held each other and realized that we were, in fact, not dead, I felt...fine.
Hell, in fact, the water was actually pretty...warm. Huh.
I'll be honest...I could probably just stay here and hold her for as long as possible, because this is nice..."
...and then someone promptly decided to ruin the fucking moment, just like that fucking Poliwag. "Hey, are you two alright?"
Untangling ourselves and rising to our feet, Vulpix visibly blushed underneath her yet again soaked fur and attempted to hide her breasts from the view of the child who I was currently sending an outright murderous glare toward, though he didn't seem to react at all to the sight of her- do they just...not see the same thing we do?
...and a fucking Ursaring rumbled behind me in what was undoubtedly warning, before Vulpix asked a single question that I already knew the answer to, though I had hoped to prevent the flood and bring her here later as a surprise.
"...where are we?"
Torkoal, in blatant defiance of how this "scene" was supposed to usually go, though whether or not it was intentional, I couldn't tell you... walked forward, and replied in Teddiursa's stead. "This is the Hot Spring, young one. It works wonders on old bones and creaky joints...unfold your map for me, if you have one, and I will show you where we are."
As Vulpix did so, I attempted to lower my glare from murderous to merely very irritated, helped by the feeling of the Hot Spring's water and the sensation of Vulpix's body pressed against my side, though the second one was unfortunately cut short as she stepped forward to let Torkoal mark the Hot Spring on our map.
Finishing her conversation with Torkoal, Vulpix walked back to me and gently pulled me over to sit down next to her, her hand finding mine as she laid her head down on my shoulder and pressed herself against my side, her presence and the feeling of the warm water doing wonders for my mood as I smiled down at her.
Yeah, you know what? This is nice. I...I could get used to this.
End of Chapter Two.
"Can you see the fluff? Does it blind you with its majesty? Does the sky fill with fucking cotton?"
Also, translations for the "Shard-speak"...do feel free to tell me whether it fits, or I did well with integrating it, or if its horrible, jarring, and unnecessary...do feel free to also tell me that about the menu alerts, too, if you want.
Possibility.
Data.
Sight, sound, understanding of what could and what would not be.
Knowledge. Experience. Understanding.
Possibility.
Data.
Negation!
Affirmation. Necessity.
...Acceptance.