"All this time I didn't know, You were breakin' down, I'd fall to pieces on the floor, If you weren't around, Too young to know it gets better, I'll be summer sun for you forever, Forever winter if you go" - Forever Winter (FTV), Taylor Swift

…

The one thing that was keeping Peter on track (AKA not revealing the truth to MJ and Ned) was believing that they were better off now, not knowing than they were before. He saw them both smiling, healing, and more at peace than they had ever been over the last couple of years. If that was their experience, Peter would gladly sacrifice his happiness for their safety.

But, as it turned out, this wasn't the case at all. When Peter found out how MJ was handling everything, he was completely blindsided.

…

Despite having no academic record, resume, or even a laptop to write a cover letter on, Peter managed to score a freelance gig at The Daily Bugle, where he was Spider-man's official photographer. After all, he was still a member of gen-z and knew the ins and outs of social and technological media. Not to mention, he could fix bugs in the site's code instantly.

Peter hated working for the guy who constantly shat on his alter-ego, but figured that if it paid the bills (which it barely did) and could help JJJ see that maybe Spider-man wasn't a menace after all (by getting him to focus on the villains and the root of crime) then, maybe, it wasn't so bad. On the side, he also put his scientific genius to use. He did lab tutoring sessions for a local private school. When rich kids don't understand organic chemistry, you wouldn't believe the amount parents would pay to fix it.

Nonetheless, tutoring, photography, and patrolling were a part of his daily life. He ran into his old friend Betty Brant at the office and sneakily used polite conversations to find out how his friends were doing.

"What's it like there," he asked her one day after they talked about Midtown High. "After everything that went on, I mean, especially after your trip to Europe, you guys must be pretty frazzled."

Betty shrugged, "some of us are doing better than others. My ex doing better than I would've thought, considering how close he was to Spider-man. He is a little offended that I'm working here though." Peter laughed, relieved to know that his best friend was still okay. But Betty wasn't finished. "He has been really distracted lately though. Like he keeps having deja'vu or something."

Peter tried to respond casually. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I would call them flashbacks almost. He looks over his shoulder as if someone should be there, then gets really confused." Betty's tone quickly shifted to a more positive one. "But he seems okay!"

"Is anyone else having that? Because maybe he should talk to someone." Peter was concerned, but also trying to get more information out of Betty.

"Eh, just this girl named MJ, I think. She's my ex's friend." Peter tried to act like this was new information, but he wasn't sure it worked. Nevertheless, he continued his questioning.

"Is she okay?"

"She... is probably the most frazzled out of all of us. Which is really weird because she's always been so level-headed and was fine after Europe. Happy, even. But this last month changed her."

"How so?" The concern in Peter's voice was palpable. This was the first he was hearing about MJ being anything but herself.

"She just seems really distracted. Wayyy more pessimistic than usual. She's set to go to MIT and things look great for her. But even so, she hasn't been sleeping or herself lately." Betty seemed to realize she probably said a little too much and then waved the conversation off. "Maybe she's just nervous for college. Tuition is a lot these days."

With that, Betty ran off to do some other task–probably make a Tiktok for the outlet. But Peter was deep in thought.

Was I doing the right thing by staying away?

…

After hours of indecision and arguing with himself, something he seemed to do a lot of lately, Peter decided maybe he should make a call. Not to tell her everything now, but to reach out and offer himself as a friend.

But how would he explain finding her number? Nah, he couldn't. She was careful with her personal information–her number was nowhere on the internet. Peter would have to visit her in person.

On the too-familiar walk to the diner, Peter found himself wondering if he was that important. If his friends were really missing something without his memories, how would Happy be doing? How about Morgan and Pepper? Strange?

Peter shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. Thinking about everything and everyone at once was bound to trigger a panic attack. He was already feeling slight sensory overload and anxiety. He didn't need any more of it.

MJ was reading a book called Random Family, looking slightly bored. It was unlike her to read a book and be bored, but not too alarming. As he got closer, she looked up, and her eyes were a little empty. They were sunken in, and the bags under her eyes were heavy.

"Hi, Peter," she sounded tired.

"Uh hi," Peter responded, trying to figure out how to start the conversation. "You doing okay? You sound kinda different," MJ's face went a little slack, and Peter stumbled over his words. "Not that I mean to pry, but uh, I," MJ cut him off.

"Don't sweat it. It's sweet." She sighed deeply, "just a lot going on and there don't seem to be any solutions. Or a point."

"A point to what?" Peter was glad that the diner was empty.

"Love. Opening up. People go and things go anyways. If you expect disappointment," she said.

Peter finished the sentence, "you'll never be disappointed." He nodded in understanding. She was talking about him. The image was coming together. He tried to think of something to say. "Well, the point is to be with others, right? And to have experiences we can learn from?"

He tried not to look at her too lovingly.

"I guess. I don't know. I just don't feel right. Why try?"

"Hey, hey." He said, almost reaching for her hand. "That's okay. It'll pass. You have an impact on those around you, and they, I'm sure would always want you to be yourself. It can be hard but, you'll get through it." In a moment of quick thinking, he shifted his tone to fit that of a "concerned customer."

"Hell, you make my day better with the best coffee I've had." He gave her a small smile, hoping that it was enough to get her through the day and reassure her.

"Thanks," she gave him a small smile in return. "I'll keep that in mind."

I would have nothing if you were gone. I would be stuck. At that moment, Peter was just grateful that she was still there and that he could see her.

Apparently, he was staring for a little too long. MJ cleared her throat.

"So, the usual?"

"Oh uh," Peter stuttered again, "yes, that would be great."

As she turned around to get it for him, he made a silent promise. I'll always be here for you.