Youtou Shinnoken
A Rurouni Kenshin/Yuyu Hakusho Crossover Fan Fiction Story by Chester Castañeda
Original Concept by Chad Yang
Alternately titled: "The Tale of Two Idiots".
Disclaimer: Yuyu Hakusho is the rightful property of Yoshihiro Togashi, Shueisha, Fuji TV, and Studio Pierrot. Rurouni Kenshin is the rightful property of Nobuhiro Watsuki, Shueisha, Shonen Jump, Viz, Sony Studios, Fuji TV, Studio Gallup, Studio Deen, and ADV. This disclaimer also covers all the other copyrighted material that are far too many to mention here. Don't sue me please, I'm very poor.
Chapter 47: Fourth Avenue Cafe (Part 5)
Around a year before the incident with the Four Saint Beasts and Rando at Genkai's temple, before the Youtou Shinnoken was even retrieved from the Shrine of the Sword by Yusuke Urameshi...
Kazuma Kuwabara just had lunch with his old crew from Sarayashiki Junior High at some joint called the Fourth Avenue Cafe in Minato Ward, the whole event serving as their reunion of sorts.
Man, it had been quite a while since he saw these knuckleheads.
In between juggling his studies at Gai Tech (which he had to study for like his life depended on it because the school had high standards and he'd never been particularly smart) and Spirit World crap, he'd barely been able to keep up with them and their shenanigans.
Sawamura, the one with the bald-as-a-monk hairdo, was the current leader of the gang now that Kuwabara had abdicated his throne and was busy with his studies and Reikai Tantei missions. The former lackey now had an air of confidence to him.
Kirishima, the skinny guy with brown hair, ended up taking Sawamura's place as the right-hand man, this time serving as Sawamura's underling.
Or perhaps not, since the two seemingly had a love-hate relationship going on with one trying to outdo the other. Maybe Kirishima wanted to become the leader instead?
Regardless, Kirishima and Sawamura were the only ones who ended up in the same school among Kuwabara's old gang.
As for Okubo, the fat junior high student with a part-time job that Kuwabara had to bail out by scoring high on a test, he'd been doing well too.
He lost some weight and was now enrolled at a school that allowed for part-time jobs and his family wasn't in bad financial straits like before.
As for the other hanger-on, the other three didn't remember much what happened to him. What was his name, even? Was he really part of their gang or was he their stalker that they got used to having around?
Kazuma blinked back manly tears. 'They grow up so fast!'
Who knew that these idiots would end up making something of themselves as the most feared tough guys in their respective schools? They certainly didn't need Kuwabara's help in tackling the weak Japanese high school delinquents of Tokyo.
Then again, they were considered the crew of Kazuma Kuwabara and Yusuke Urameshi. Their reputation preceded them, and no one messed with them.
"...And then the guy looked at Kuwabara and told him to his face, 'Stop lying! You're from Gai Tech? Stupid people can't go to Gai Tech!'" the number two of Kazuma Kuwabara's group, the shaved-head Sawamura, gave the punch line to his joke, which of course involved taking a shot at Kazuma.
"Hahaha," Kuwabara deadpanned as his associates attempted to catch their breaths after doubling over in laughter as a group. "That's right. Yuk it up to the only guy in our group that actually got into a respectable high school and has a bright future ahead of him. Ya losers."
"Don't pretend to be a nerd now, Kuwabara! We know you better than that. It's like putting feathers on a snake! It's not gonna work!" chided Okubo.
"I'm actually putting up a betting pool to see how much longer you'll last in Gai Tech," said their brown-haired friend, Kirishima. "We're making betting history so far! It's like the lottery; the pot just keeps getting bigger and bigger!"
"How about you and I make medical history, Kirishima? Okubo?" the redheaded hothead threatened with a wave of his fist. While it was okay for lion cubs to mess around with the leader of the pride in the savannah some of the time, it paid for the King of the Jungle to remind everyone who he really was once in a while.
Nothing short than demons scared Kazuma nowadays. Of course, certain ghosts still gave him the heebie-jeebies, but that was neither here nor there.
Kuwabara and his gang then heard a commotion coming out of a nearby karaoke.
"Hey, Hanamichi! Stop acting like a jerk-off stick in the mud! We're going to Roppongi Hills, for goodness's sake! The home of beerhouses and babes! What's not to like?" a fat blob with thick lips told some tall guy with regent-style hair, baggy pants, and a basketball jersey.
The tall guy with four other people surrounding him like bodyguards had his hands in his pants' waistband, stretching out the material while he did a low shuffle, murmuring, "Shut up, Takamiya. You fat bastard of a pig. You said we were just going out to eat here, not indulge in... p-prostitution."
A dyed-blonde man about as tall but not as buff as the leader of the group with the same pompadour hairdo to boot (but this time puffy enough to appear like an afro, chimed in, "It's not prostitution! Soap lands aren't prostitution. It's a... sexual attraction. Hygienic fun."
"And you're a sexual pervert, Okusu!" spat "Hanamichi". "I already have Haruko-san! I don't need to mess around with anyone else!"
Another guy, who looked like a poor man's version of Yusuke Urameshi with the same sleek-black delinquent hairdo, repeated, "Sexual pervert," chuckling to himself and saying, "As opposed to a nonsexual pervert... Eh, Hanamichi?"
"Shut up, Yohei!"
From there, a mustachioed man that looked like someone who had restraining orders from elementary schools (Was he the father of one of these guys?) said, "If you're hoping that Haruko-san will ever pick you over that pretty boy Rukawa, you've got another think comin'!"
Four headbutts (and headaches) later, and the four members of Hanamichi Sakuragi's Army found themselves groggier than drunk salarymen after dark, with their leader growling, "Every time. You just don't want to let up. You just had to bring up that damn fox again."
As soon as Kuwabara and his gang (which was composed of a gawky redhead with a pompadour, a fat guy, a small baldheaded guy, a brown-haired skinny guy, and one other hanger-on) and Sakuragi and company (which was also composed of a gawky redhead with a pompadour, a fat guy, a Yusuke look-alike, a teenager who looked like an old man with a mustache, and one other hanger-on) went past one another, one sentence came up at the back of their collective minds.
'Jeez, look at those posers.'
It was an encounter they all soon forgot by the end of the day.
A year since then, around two months after the incident with the Shisejyu and Rando at Genkai's temple and around a month after the Spirit World Warriors battled against one-half of the New Ten Swords...
"So this is Yokohama," said Yukina, her mouth curved up to a smile as she walked side-by-side Kazuma Kuwabara.
She practically flowed in her dainty kimono in every stride, which reminded the six-foot teenaged ex-delinquent of all the other kimono-wearing, old-fashioned people that had begun to congregate in his life lately.
Like some sort of Jidai Geki (Period Piece) movie audition had happened at his home.
Then again, he didn't see much of the "Kenshingumi" lately, with them visiting yet another reincarnated friend of theirs, this time a lady doctor.
How many goddamn reincarnations of people they knew when they were alive were in Tokyo anyway? They were crawling out of the woodwork like a bug infestation!
Anyway, their timing was perfect, because otherwise, he wouldn't have had the opportunity to have this date with Yukina at Yokohama during such an... inopportune time in May.
During the humid Yokohama Springtime in May, the last month of spring. Kazuma expected better weather, but summer was only around the corner. The hot, hot, hot summer.
"Oh my!"
"Y-Yukina-san...!"
Kuwabara caught the snow lady (otherwise known as yuki-onna of ancient Japanese legend and lore) in the middle of her dead faint, which made him reassess how inopportune a May date actually was.
'What the hell was I thinking, bringing a yuki-onna... koorime (ice maiden) or whatever... to the hottest place around in spring! Have I gone insane?'
"Kazuma-kun, it's so hot. Are you feeling the heat?" asked the young, soft, and fragrant green-haired girl who rested her head on Kuwabara's pectorals, her snow white skin cool to the touch. Like mint.
"I-I sure am, Yukina-san!" Kazuma's face went beet red, feeling as though his ears were blowing steam like twin kettle spouts with boiling water inside.
He shook his head hard. This wasn't the time to act like a lecher! Whose bright idea was it to go to Yokohama, of all places, near summer, of all times, to have a kind-of-sort-of-maybe-not-sure-oh-well date with Yukina?
Anyway, he was a gentleman, after all. A gentleman among gentlemen. A one-of-a-kind individual that should set an example among his peers on what manliness was all about. They broke the mold after he was made.
"How's your back, Sakuragi-kun?" Kuwabara heard a girl with a high-pitched voice say.
"I-It's okay now, Haruka-san! No need to worry! You know me, I'm Tensai (Genius) Sakuragi Hanamichi! The King of Rehab! GYAHAHAHAHA!" some loudmouthed idiot (the girl's boyfriend?) replied.
'Genius? Oh please,' Kazuma rolled his eyes. So annoying. Way to ruin the mood.
"Maybe this will help you heal better! Sakuragi-kun, say 'AH!'"
"Ehehehe. You're the best, Haruko-san! AAAH!"
'Get a room, you too,' Kuwabara thought to himself after seeing the girl feed the stupidly grinning guy with a homemade lunch in a bento.
Dammit, he wished Yukina would do the same for him.
Some insufferable, lovey-dovey couple had taken over their picnic spot at... wherever the hell they were in Yokohama. Some park. Uh, Yamashita Park, was it?
They should mind their own business and not bother other people with their banter. 'Wait, what was that about rehab...? Ah, never mind that!'
"Maybe we should go to somewhere colder, like an ice rink or something? I worry about your health in this heat," suggested Kazuma to Yukina just short of adding "milady" at the end of his sentence.
The demon girl that could actually be Hiei's sister (Kuwabara hoped against hope that wasn't the case; maybe she was mistaken since they didn't look anything alike) smiled at the goofy teenager. "I'm fine. It's a new experience for me."
The words "new experience" echoed inside Kuwabara's head, and soon enough, it was his turn to feel faint and lightheaded.
However, he wasn't really there to flirt. Not really.
Actually, the kind-of-sort-of-maybe-not-sure-oh-well date was all Koenma's idea. In that it wasn't really a date at all. It was a mission. From (the) God (of Death).
As usual, the toddler deity had yet another Reikai artifact stolen from him, this time by one of the Chojin's minions. It wasn't a golden seal or a mirror that granted wishes or a sword that turned anything into demons or an orb that stole souls.
It was a pen. A pen with undisclosed powers. What next, magical letter openers that shifted reality or a photocopier that could travel back in time? Maybe a coffee mug of infinite holding (and coffee)?
You'd think the Spirit World could've gotten the hint by now? They should hire better guards to watch over their shit. The Holy Grail and the Ark of the Covenant had better security, for Enma Daio's sake.
Anyway, the only way Kuwabara could convince Yukina to go on a date with him that wasn't just grocery shopping or paying the utility bills was in the context of helping him out with Reikai Tantei affairs.
Kuwabara took a look at his Spirit Detector (a bracelet that looked like a watch but acted like a Geiger Counter for spirit energy and a Radar for super-powered entities rolled into one), in order to hunt down on a... what? Class-C to Class-B demon?
Weaker than either Sanosuke or Yahiko. Weaker than any demon in the semifinals and finals of the Ankoku Bujutsukai. Someone around the power level of Tarukane's minions.
Easy peasy compared to, say, the fluctuating power levels of the Shin Ju. Or someone like the Class-S Shinobu Sensui or any of the monsters of the Makai elite.
Hence, he had his date. With Yukina. Kind of. Sort of. Maybe. Not sure. Oh well.
"That's everything I know," Botan told Kuwabara through her palmtop communicator that looked like a compact.
She then winked and whispered, "Don't have too much fun with Yukina-chan, okay? This is supposed to be a special mission!"
"Who do you think you're talking to? I'm a pro!" Kazuma assured with his own clamshell telecommunication device.
"We'd normally lend you the Demon Sword for this job, but seeing that we still don't know what special abilities you can get out of it..."
"No need to rub it in," Kuwabara said, still embarrassed that the Youtou Shinnoken didn't give him a power boost or special ability like the others did. "The job is simple enough, right? Find the guy, get back the pen."
"Right! We're counting on you, Kuwabara-kun! Bye-bye!" said the girl who used to be Kazuma's crush until Yukina came along.
He was glad she now had Kenshin by her side, although he could've sworn at one point that she was in love with the pacifier-sucking death god brat instead.
"So the guy... whoever he is... is hiding out somewhere in Yamashita Park. Around C-Level to B-Level. A danger to all the D-Level humans here, but even you can take him on, Yukina-san," bragged a confident Kuwabara.
Unless that magic Reikai pen had power-boosting abilities like the Youtou Shinnoken, Kazuma believed it wouldn't present much of a problem.
"I-I'll do my best," said Yukina, her mouth billowing with white fog as she (presumably) attempted to lower the temperature around her. "Anything to help, Kazuma-kun!"
Through Hiei's connection with Kurama, the Ice Master known as Touya had once or twice visited Yukina in order to teach her demonic self defense that didn't involve hanging out in blizzard-prone mountains in order to lure mountaineering humans to their frostbitten deaths (such tactics were ineffective against high-level demons and spiritually awakened humans anyway).
She learned basic stuff like turning ice crystals into shards, making fog to hide herself with, or creating an ice knife with frozen water vapor.
Like how any human could be trained in various martial arts disciplines, any koorime could also be trained to make use of their ability for the sake of self-defense.
"We just need to keep an eye out on suspicious activities in the area, and we're good to go," said Kuwabara, inwardly wishing that the Chojin's little thief would take his sweet time to act so that the teen would have more time with the ice maiden.
No, of course not. He had work to do. But who said that business couldn't be mixed with pleasure?
"Uh, Kuwabara-kun..." queried Yukina, which made Kazuma's heart drop to his toes.
What did he do this time that made the snow lady shift from calling him by his first name to his last name? "What is it, Yukina-san?" was the question he actually asked.
"Is that something suspicious?" the snow maiden asked Kuwabara, pointing at the low horizon as bedlam erupted all around them.
All the park's visitors, from old people doing tai chi to the custodians of the park, acted quite... strange all of a sudden.
They attacked on all fours, as though they'd become wild animals all of a sudden. Some hopped. Others growled. Still others flapped their arms.
Soon, a whole mob of them was headed straight towards the icy beauty and the human beast.
Were they demonized? Kazuma couldn't feel any youki in any of them.
The carrot-topped boy didn't need his Rei-Kan (spiritual sense) to tell him that something supernatural must've been going on, though.
After all, why else would these people shamble around like the undead?
One of them grabbed at Yukina, which prompted Kuwabara to throw him to the ground.
The most troubling thing about this sudden influx of hypnotized (or otherwise) people was that Kazuma had to do more throws in order to deal with the women and children along with the various men who'd seemingly lost their minds.
Cursing under his breath, Kuwabara avoided summoning the Jigen Tou (for now) and opted to knock the enemies around. He didn't want to end up slicing any of them like cold cuts.
As for Yukina, thanks partially to the games of cat and mouse she suffered under the hands of Tarukane along with the techniques she learned from Touya, she held her own against the incoming horde, making them slip on ice floors or getting them stuck onto enlarged versions of snowflakes with patterns that extended like symmetrical branches.
She only used her ice shards when she got a clear enough shot to snag people's clothes into tree barks or on the ground. Up until now, she believed Kuwabara's entreaty that not all humans were evil (even though a lot of them were).
She wouldn't hurt them except for self-preservation, nor would she kill any of them ever.
There were too many of these possessed individuals crawling out from every inch of Yamashita Park, though.
At any rate, after only a few minutes of delivering an old-school beat down on these poor unfortunate souls, some of the charging ghouls flew all around him or dropped like flies to insecticide.
"What in the...?" Kazuma turned his head to see what was going on.
A tall and muscular red-haired guy about the same height as Kuwabara (more or less) cleaned house, punching and throwing these shambling persons and weirdly moving humans (who spider-walked like that chick from the movie the Exorcist) around.
Like bags of sand to a buff construction worker.
'Huh. Not bad for a commoner.' Ah. Wait. It was that guy. The ugly motherfucker with the same colored hair as Kazuma, except it was now closely cropped like Sawamura's monk hair.
The annoying guy with his (relatively cute, but Yukina was cuter, smaller, and more innocent-looking) girlfriend that was way above his league.
"DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO READ THE MOOD?! We're trying to have... a... d-da..."
"...Eh? Sakuragi-kun?" asked the blinking brunette girl, whose name was Haru... Haruto? No, Harumi, was it?
"D-Day out in the sun, dammit! What's with you guys, anyway? Are you drunk or something? Has the world gone mad? Y-You're bothering Haruko-san!"
'Nice save, Doofus.' Kazuma smirked and sighed, relieved that they weren't actually dating. Not that he was any better.
So her name was Haruko. And the other guy was... Sakuragi?
'Where haveI heard that name before?' wondered Kuwabara in between punching out several other zombified or hypnotized humans shambling over him that muttered guttural sounds all the while.
The two roughly as tall teenagers ended up giving a straight right to the jaw of one of the not-zombies.
"HEY! THAT WAS MY GUY! GET YOUR OWN GUY!" they both said the same thing at the same time.
Hanamichi Sakuragi growled at the... old-ass, 40-year-old man before him who stole his chance at punching out a... zombie in front of Haruko Akagi in order to impress her.
Was he a teacher or a salaryman trying to look hip and cool with his annoyingly Nineties getup and a girlfriend that (he hoped merely) looked about 12 years old because he was suffering from a mid-life crisis?
That was seriously creepy, man. 'What a pedo,' the natural athlete thought. It certainly looked that way to the self-appointed genius of Shohoku High.
"SAKURAGI-KUN! WATCH OUT! YOUR SPINE...!" screamed Haruko.
Hanamichi turned in time to see the old geezer tackle another one of the frothing-in-the-mouth infected zombie people (except maybe they weren't zombies since they weren't rotting corpses or anything).
"Not bad, Jiji (Gramps)," grumbled Sakuragi, and the old man seethed in kind, saying, "Who are you calling old, you Ginger Monk?"
Haruko bowed at the grandfather, since she was such a respectful young girl. "Thank you so much, Sir!"
"There are too many of them, Kuwabara-kun! We need to regroup," said Yukina after encasing the feet and legs of several other shambling persons who'd become mindless drones.
"D-Did you just f-freeze...?" began Haruko, and Yukina reassured, "Don't worry! I'm with Kuwabara-kun! Even though there are bad demons around, I'm one of the good demons. I make sure to never hurt any good humans!"
"D-Demon? Wait, g-good humans...?" The young Akagi sister couldn't believe her ears. She gulped, hoping that this walking demonic freezer in the form of a little girl considered her a "good human".
Who were these people? How did this small young girl freeze the weirdos around them like she was a yuki-onna or something?
Just then, a man that acted like a frog jumped Yukina from behind, whose first instinct was to create ice shards for protection but hesitated at the last moment, afraid of hurting the brainwashed person.
A brainwashed person that soon became unconscious thanks to a headbutt care of Hanamichi.
Sakuragi got up and grinned at... Kuwabara, was it? "Now we're even, Gramps! I saved your barely legal girlfriend!"
"Stop that, Ginger Monk! Can't you see I'm a teenager in high school?" protested Kazuma, although he couldn't hide his grin over Yukina being identified as his girlfriend.
"No, you stop! It's not nice to lie; you're obviously forty by that face of yours!"
"You're one to speak! You look like the missing link, ya red-bottomed baboon!"
"Old fart!"
"Orangutan!"
"Pig-nosed, butt-faced pedophile!"
"Neanderthal!"
That last insult, incidentally, was a product of Kuwabara's increased focus on education at Gai Tech. Just a few years ago, he would've just settled for "Caveman!" but he was more edumacated now.
"What's his real name? And who are you, if you don't mind my asking?" Yukina asked Haruko.
"Oh. OH! Um, he's Sakuragi-kun. Sakuragi Hanamichi-kun," answered Haruko after bowing. "And I'm Akagi Haruko. Nice to meet you, um...?"
The ice maiden bowed back. "Yukina. And that's Kuwabara Kazuma-kun. It's a pleasure to meet you too, Akagi-san."
The four new friends then stopped in mid-conversation/argument when they heard laughter amidst the chaos of fainted bodies and a swarm of many other park goers.
More droning zombies joined the ranks of the horde. Some of them joggers and passersby, others traffic cops and security guards. With actual guns.
Good thing these police officers had lost so much of their humanity that they seemingly forgot how to use their weapons. Otherwise, they'd be in real trouble.
From out of the army of hypnotized (or zombified) commoners stood a man with red lipstick, pink nail polish, light blue kimono with a jagged hem, and dangling, metal spiky protrusions over his shoulders.
He also wore a magenta-colored juban (undershirt) and obi (cloth belt), with matching white socks and women's zori (flat, thong sandals).
Kuwabara narrowed his eyes at... him... and asked, "Majari? Is that you?"
"I don't know who this Majari is, but I seem to have missed making you four become part of my growing army. How careless of me," said the drag-queen-looking cross-dresser with two swords on either side of him that were strapped underneath his obi.
The man-girl (or woman-boy... or wo-man) then took out a special shining blue pen and aimed it at the quartet like a James Bond laser pointer that could cut through steel. "You four belong to me, Otowa Hyoko, now!"
Kazuma checked his Spirit Detector. Class-C. He snorted and smirked. 'This weakling couldn't even reach Team Uraotogi level, much less Team Toguro level. Hell, even Rando now has a higher power level than him. This mission is going to be a piece of cake!'
He said aloud, "Hey, Fruit Loops! Sorry to spoil your fun, but the Spirit World wants that item back! THINK FAST! JIGEN TOU!"
With one swish of Kazuma's Dimensional Sword, the people that engulfed them were no more; not killed, sliced, or disintegrated, but sent to parts unknown with a rift in space-time.
"What in the holy hell...?" trailed off Hanamichi before grabbing Haruko and lifting her up in his arms in a bridal carry when another portal opened below their feet. "This is some straight-up sci-fi bullshit! What's with all these... these warp zones? Who are you people!?"
"Ah, Sakuragi-kun...!" said Haruko before the portal they fell into closed altogether.
'Good. The civilians are all gone,' thought Kuwabara after taking Sakuragi and Akagi away from the scene. He then turned towards the drag queen.
"You have something that doesn't belong to you. An artifact from the Spirit World. I'm the Reikai Tantei (Spirit World Detective) tasked to retrieve it."
Hyoko "Fruit Loops" Otawa lifted his head up and covered his mouth with the back of his hand as he warbled what he thought was aristocratic laughter. "Ohohoho. And what will the big bad Reikai policeman do to me? Arrest me? Gimme a break."
Before Hyoko realized what was happening, Yukina encased him in ice. "Sorry for doing that, but you've been a bad... er demon?" She tilted her head to the side. "Or maybe you're human? A ghost? Anyway, surrender now or Kazuma-kun will be forced to hurt you. Um, please?"
The drag queen looked back and forth Kazuma and Yukina. "What is this? A kid's version of the good cop, bad cop routine?"
"Look, just gimme back that dumbass pen of Koenma's so that I can return those obviously hypnotized humans back to normal, and no one gets hurt. Too much," said Kazuma, who made his portal-opening sword disappear just so he could crack his knuckles.
Hyoko sneered. "That pen is my ticket to becoming part of the Dai Kaijin or even the Shin Ju. I won't waste my newfound life for nothing. I will have my revenge against Battousai. My Anki (Shadow Instruments) will make sure of that."
'Another one of Kenshin's past enemies, huh?' thought Kuwabara. 'Poor guy has it tough.'
Sure enough, the six spikes on Otowa's back... his Rikudouku... moved on their own and shattered his icy encasement before its coldness even gave him frostbite.
"That's it! No more Mister Nice Guy!" Instead of using his Jigen Tou, Kuwabara gave the Class-C Hyoko a fighting chance by charging with his whirling fists, intending to give him a good ol' fashioned beat down like he did Majari during the time the Meikai (Nether World) invaded Tokyo.
Kazuma ended up punching and almost breaking his knuckles on Hyoko's body after his fist and fingers clanged hard on the cross-dresser's Rikudouku, which had extended into thin, black strips of metal and wrapped themselves all over Otowa like bandages would a mummy.
"Ow! Dammit!" Also, Kuwabara had to teleport out of there care of the Jigen Tou after Hyoko unfurled his malleable crab-or-spider-leg-like spikes and ripped apart everything in sight. "That Anki of his has got to go!"
Otowa grinned. 'It's too bad Houji-sama only enchanted two of my thirteen Shadow Instruments into demonic items. But if I succeed in stealing the Reikai artifact and bringing it to the Chojin, I could get rewarded by having all of them magically enhanced! Or I could also become a demon myself, like the Toguro Brothers!'
The cross-dresser attempted to skewer the Reikai Tantei, but the Dimensional Blade proved too sharp and too deep cutting for his Rikudouku to get near him. 'Dammit, this guy is too powerful. He might even be a class or two higher than me. I need some leverage.'
Doing dual defense and offense with spikes that regenerated themselves infinitely when cut, Hyoko blocked Yukina's distraction tactic of spewing ice needles at his face.
He also escaped the scarily long reach of the Jigen Tou by turning the Rikudouku into tripod (or, in this case, sextapod) legs, lifting him up into the air, and skittering away like a daddy longlegs or water strider.
"Come back and gimme back that pen, Fruity Pebbles!" demanded Kazuma, slicing at the air in vain.
Hyoko retreated and scanned the park for any other human he could use as hostage or collateral damage to distract the spirit detective. 'Aha!'
The cross-dresser found where Kuwabara teleported the two other humans (or demons) that were with them in the park.
The pair of a teenaged girl and that tall, monk-headed fellow that kind of resembled Kuwabara. Maybe they were related? Brothers? Father and son? Uncle and nephew?
"AH! It's that okama (homosexual) again! Haruko-san, stay behind OOF!"
"Sakuragi-kun! Watch out! EEK!"
Otawa batted the six-footer kid with his Rikudouku with ease and was about to capture the girl when he felt his extra six legs go under him.
"GET AWAY FROM THEM, YA DRAG QUEEN!" screamed Kuwabara at the top of his lungs, who sliced off the metal legs that Hyoko used as stilts. "Come down here and fight like a man!" he said while going right beside Akagi.
"I'm sorry I got you and your boyfriend into this mess!" apologized the ex-delinquent to Haruko, who stammered, "T-Thanks, but b-boyfriend? Sakuragi-kun... isn't..." before trailing off.
Actually, Kuwabara already suspected that Sakuragi had the same platonic relationship with Haruko as he did with Yukina, but he still called him her boyfriend for his sake.
Then, to Kazuma's surprise, Otowa landed on his feet like a cat, his clogs releasing retractable spikes that cracked apart the concrete. From there, the man in makeup and women's clothing blew black dust all over Kuwabara's body.
Hyoko smiled and drew a straight, European-style blade. "How do you like my Bishamonpun (Bishamon's Powder), Darling?"
'Holy shit. It's like I'm in some sort of Las Vegas show!' thought the curly haired teen, spitting out some of the metallic-tasting dust that got into his mouth. 'No, I must've get distracted...!'
With one eye closed, Kuwabara attempted to slash at the cross-dresser, who raised his own blade to block the incoming slash. However, instead of the Jigen Tou slashing through both the steel and its owner, it shrunk and turned into a Rei-Ken (Spirit Sword).
Kazuma's jaw dropped. His spirit energy from his sword dissipated and went straight into Hyoko's weapon, making it glow. Just like what happened with the Demon-Sword-wielding Suzaku.
"And this is my Bishamonken (Bishamon's Sword). It absorbs all spirit energy unto its blade. Sayonara, Reikai-Tantei-kun."
"KAZUMA-KUN!" Yukina arrived in time to see Hyoko skewer Kuwabara and magnetically control the iron sand around his body and turn it into a coarse, flesh-rending sandstorm.
Kuwabara would've turned into mincemeat had Sakuragi not come from behind and headbutt the back of the drag queen's head, cracking their skulls with the impact.
Otowa screeched, but had enough time to scratch Hanamichi with the Bishamontsume (Bishamon's Nails), his nails tipped with neurotoxin. This made Sakuragi freeze and convulse.
But before Hyoko could finish the crop-haired teenager off from behind him with Rikudouku stabs, Yukina coated the ground beneath him with a slippery layer of ice, forcing him to activate his Zori Kunai (clog blades) and his six spikes to keep his balance.
This actually turned him into a sitting duck.
"REI-KEN NOBIRO!" Even with part of his spirit energy sapped, Kuwabara was still able to extend his Spirit Sword, stabbing Otowa in the stomach. "I gotcha now, Liberachi!" came his battle cry, only for the world to suddenly turn white.
Hyoko grabbed hold of his hookah (an instrument used for smoking flavored tobacco that was also called shisha, like the one smoked by the Caterpillar in Disney's Alice in Wonderland), turned open a secret compartment inside it, covered his eyes, and threw it at Kuwabara.
It was a disguised flashbang grenade full of pyrotechnic metal-oxidant mix of aluminum and magnesium plus an ammonium perchlorate oxidizer that blinded Kuwabara and the nearby Yukina, but not Haruko, whom Kazuma shielded.
As for Sakuragi, he was too busy fighting the poison with shut eyes, a convulsing body, and a scrunched-up face to pay heed to the flashbang.
Hyoko attempted to finish them all off, but his stab wound proved deeper than he realized, his blood reaching to his mouth. He might be bleeding internally.
With a growl, the drag queen assassin told the disoriented Kuwabara while taking out the magical pen he stole from the Spirit World under his overcoat:
"So you want this Spirit Pen this badly, don't you? Well, you're about to taste its power for yourself! How would you like it if I turned you into that girl beside you, detective? Maybe that's enough to impede your investigation!"
'W-What...? Turn him into me...?' thought Haruko.
Meanwhile, Kazuma's eyes started to adjust to the blur that was Otowa, attempting to shoot another extended Rei-Ken but missing. "What the hell are you talking about, Fruit Loops?"
"You'll see." The pen glowed and swirled in Hyoko's hand before it released twin multicolored beams of energy, one headed straight for Kazuma, the other headed straight for Haruko.
However, by the same athletic instincts that allowed him to always get out-of-bounds basketballs when playing for the Shohoku Basketball Club, Sakuragi ran and intercepted the wave of energy meant for Akagi.
"HARUKO-SAAAAN!"
"SAKURAGI-KUUUN!"
By the time Yukina's hypersensitive koorime eyes got back their sight, it was already too late. Otowa was gone, and the two unconscious bodies of Hanamichi and Kazuma were left at Haruko's feet.
Kazuma's eyelids fluttered open, his head resting on someplace warm.
However, instead of Yukina greeting him, it was that brown-haired girl whom he protected earlier that brushed her hair back and said, "H-He's awake...! He's going to be all right thanks to you, Yukina-chan!"
"I'm glad I was able to expel the poison with my healing powers!" he heard the unseen Yukina tell this girl. That was not Yukina. Whose soft thighs served as his pillow.
He immediately got up and crawled back on the floor, his eyes wide and his skin pale. His entire body trembled. Most of all, there was a slight pang of pain that emanated from his back. "Ah! It's you! H-H... Haruka-san!"
"Haruka...?"
Kuwabara felt a pang of disappointment over Yukina not sounding more jealous over him lying on the thighs of another woman. "I appreciate your gratitude, but we might end up having a misunderstanding here if we were to... EEEK!"
Kazuma screamed like a little girl after Miss Akagi put her hand on his forehead to check his temperature. "Is the poison from that weird cross-dresser in platform shoes making you delirious?"
Huh? Poison? Kuwabara said, "I wasn't poisoned! You must've mistaken me for...!"
And then Kazuma saw red (or perhaps green) once he espied Yukina nursing back to health someone else other than him, his head resting comfortably on her own lap. 'Why him, Yukina-san! Why not me?!'
"All right, all right! You're not really that hurt, are you? Time to rise and shine, Ginger Monk! Or find another goddamn pillow...!"
Kuwabara confronted the ice maiden and the monk-headed monkey only to stop in mid-stride. And mid-sentence.
What the hell?
Sure enough, Kuwabara saw himself sleeping peacefully on the lap of the koorime while she carefully healed up most of his wounds the best her healing powers could.
Wait. What? But... if he was there, then what was he doing here?
"Is everything all right, Sakuragi-kun?" asked Haruko. "You shouldn't stand up all of a sudden after being hurt so bad. You have a game today and all."
Huh?
Thinking fast, Kuwabara asked Haruko, "Uh, do I look okay? Do you have a mirror or something? I want to see my, uh, face."
"Oh. Oh, sure. Okay. Here you go," Akagi got her purse and handed Kazuma her compact powder.
A stranger stared right back at Kuwabara after he saw his reflection on Haruko's mirror.
He did kind of wonder why his head felt lighter all of a sudden. The lack of a pompadour or regent-style hairdo made it much easier to move around. Also, perhaps Sakuragi had a smaller head altogether.
Then everything dawned on Kazuma in a snap. The pen. The magical, Spirit World pen that had random superpowers like the Youtou Shinnoken.
That Spirit Pen switched his body with Sakuragi and vice-versa! Which meant...!
"Ah! Haruko-chan! Kazuma-kun is also coming to! Thank goodness!" said Yukina, wiping a small tear under one of her moist eyes before staring up at the real Kuwabara (unbeknownst to her) and asking, "Um, Sakuragi... kun? Is there something the matter?"
In a similar fashion that Kuwabara got up, the Sakuragi-possessed body of Kazuma also scrambled to his feet, swearing up and down to Haruko, "Haruko-san! Don't misunderstand! It's not what it looks like! I barely know this little girl!"
Yukina pouted and grabbed hold of her chest. "That's a mean thing to say, Kuwabara-kun."
"I didn't say it!" protested the Kuwabara-possessed body of Sakuragi, which fell on deaf ears.
"Huh? What doesn't look like what it looks like, um, Kuwabara... kun?" asked Haruko. "Maybe Sakuragi-kun is right. Maybe you were poisoned too. You seem confused."
"I was right? Wait, what? Did that pig-nosed, butt-faced pedophile say something weird about me?" demanded Sakuragi-in-Kuwabara's-body before going face-to-face with Kuwabara-in-Sakuragi's-body.
It took a second for Hanamichi to process everything before he calmly lay down on the grass and slept. "You're right, Haruko-san. It must've been the poison."
"HEY! GET YOUR ASS OFF OF THE GRASS, YOU HANDSOME SON OF A BITCH!" said the Kazuma-possesed Hanamichi before he grabbed hold of his original body and did a German suplex on it, much to his chagrin.
Somewhere in Yamashita Park, Yokohama...
"YOU TWO SWITCHED BODIES!?" was the perfectly chorused summation that Yukina and Haruko could come up with. "But that's... impossible! Crazy! That happens in movies, not in real life!" added the younger Akagi sister.
Kuwabara and Sakuragi looked at each other, sighed, and said, "It's true," also in tandem.
"I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it happen right before my eyes," Hanamichi said, "I'm just glad I didn't switch bodies with Rukawa or Gori. That would've really been a nightmare. Not that this is any better..."
"HEY!" protested Kazuma. "Watch that big mouth... of... mine. Ah shit."
"The question is: How do you two switch back?" asked Yukina.
Kazuma slammed his hands onto Hanamichi's thighs, which made the original owner of the body yelp, "HEY! CAREFUL WITH MY BODY!"
Regardless, Kuwabara said, "We have to find Fruit Loops and take that pen back no matter what. It's the item that made the body switch possible."
"I see." The ice maiden tapped her finger on her chin as something occurred to her. "The body-switching pen is the reason why all those people at the park were acting weird. Otawa Hyoko must've switched their bodies with park animals!"
"Good thinking, Yukina-san! Yeah, that's what probably happened," said Kuwabara, who patted the ice maiden's head of blue hair with Hanamichi's huge, orangutan-like hands.
The scene made Haruko wince a bit while grabbing hold of her chest. Like someone pinched her heart.
"Hey! Stop making my body look like a pedophile, Gramps!" complained Sakuragi, who slapped his hand away from Yukina's head with Kuwabara's hand.
"Shut up! I'm not doing that at all! Yukina-san might be on the short side, but she's of legal age! I mean, m-my intentions are pure!" was Kazuma's Freudian slip.
Yukina tilted her head to the side and asked, "Legal age?" which Kuwabara waved and laughed off, stating, "Yeah! Y'know, old enough to drink or drive in Japanese Law! Hehehe... not both at the same time, of course."
"...Dirty old man," whispered Hanamichi.
"That's it. Get the fuck out of my body right now, Monk Head!"
"That's my line, ya old fart! Bring it on!"
"We need to get that pen back. We've already seen what could happen once it falls into the wrong hands," said Yukina, and Kazuma, while undergoing the trippy experience of kicking his own ass, imagined the Chojin sending out his minions to switch bodies with any of the Reikai Tantei.
Or they might even attempt to switch places with Kenshin Himura as the guardian of the Youtou Shinnoken. Damn, that pen was dangerous!
After letting a haymaker from Sakuragi land on... well, Sakuragi's own monkey face (it wasn't his body anyway), Kuwabara declared while sporting a fresh black eye, "You're right, Yukina-san! I have to go and fix this mess! Jigen Tou!"
Nothing happened. Kazuma tried again. "JIGEN TOU! JIGEN TOOOU! REI-KEN! REI-KEEEN! REI... ANYTHING, DAMMIT!" Then cold realization dripped on the nape of his... or rather, Hanamichi's... neck.
He was in the wrong body. Therefore, he couldn't manifest his special powers at all. 'This just gets better and better, doesn't it?'
Yukina then asked, "S-Sakuragi-kun? Maybe you can summon the laser sword you saw earlier with Kuwabara-kun's body?"
Hanamichi scratched Kuwabara's pompadour head. "You mean the sword that cut portals and crap? I dunno..."
Kazuma then grabbed hold of... his... shoulders with Hanamichi's primate hands. "Look, let's just try it out. If it doesn't work, whatever. Try to visualize forming a sword using your reiki. Do what I did when I fought Fruit Loops."
Sakuragi shrugged, pushed Kuwabara away, and mimicked what the original owner of his body was doing. "JIGEN TOU! JIGEN TOOOU! REI-KEN! REI-KEEEN! REI... ANYTHING, DAMMIT!"
Kuwabara conked his own head, but at least Hanamichi felt that blow. "Don't be a wise ass!" Sakuragi then retaliated in kind, and Kazuma barely dodged the ball-shaped sphere of destruction that blasted a hole on a nearby tree.
Holy shit. Who was this guy?
"Wow! That's amazing, Sakuragi-kun!" Haruko cheered. "You really are a natural athlete! You were able to do a spirit blast on your first try!"
"Well, that's about what you'd expect from a tensai! NYAHAHAHAHA!" said Sakuragi with an expression on Kuwabara's face that pissed off its original owner enough to want to punch his own face.
"Don't get full of yourself, genius, that was a spirit energy ball, not a dimension-cutting sword!" admonished Kazuma. The instant expert capabilities of Sakuragi reminded him a bit of the copycat Rando, though. Or Majari, one of the Meikai Gods.
Haruko dusted off her shorts and said, "Maybe this could work, Sakuragi-kun! I'll just tell Oniichan and the others that your back hurts and you can't join their game while you go help Yukina-chan and Kuwabara-kun catch that bad guy!"
"...HOLD THE PHONE!" said Hanamichi with a slobbering spit-take that again made Kuwabara want to punch him in the face for making him look stupid. "I almost forgot! I'm already late, aren't I? This is the last practice match we'll have with the Third Years! With Gori, Micchy, and Megane-kun! And everyone else!"
"I know, Sakuragi-kun. I know. But... y-you've switched bodies! It can't be helped," said Haruko, her eyes traveling all over the ground, unable to look Sakuragi in the eyes (even though it wasn't strictly speaking his eyes). "Your back will be better protected too."
"MY BACK IS FINE! I'm the King of Rehab, after all!" said Hanamichi, only to suck in his lips, his mouth turning into a thin line, as Haruko turned towards the Kazuma-possessed Sakuragi and ask, "Is what Sakuragi-kun says is true?"
Kuwabara took one look at the pathetic expression on his own face care of Hanamichi and said, "It doesn't hurt that bad." Meanwhile, all Sakuragi could do was glare at him.
He was kind of being honest. He felt worse pain before. Like the many times he almost died. "Why? What happened to his back?"
"It was during our high school basketball team's match against Sanno High, the champions from the year before. He injured his back just to win that match. Sakuragi-kun can be quite reckless at times."
"Well, I'm not going to miss playing my last match with Gori and the other seniors!" said the mule-headed Hanamichi.
"Listen to reason, Sakuragi-kun! You can't do that right now! You're not even inside your own body!" begged Haruko. "It's for the best! At least with this, you'll have more time to recover..."
"I really want to play basketball with everyone!" said Sakuragi. "I have to! I've been waiting months for this!"
Meanwhile, Yukina opened a different compact than the one Haruko had with her. It was a standard-issue Reikai communicator. "What should we do, Kazuma-kun? We can call for backup or have a different team handle this case, if you want."
Kazuma exhaled loudly and rubbed Sakuragi's cropped monk head. "Jeez. Fine. Yukina-san, call for backup. Where's this practice match being held? I'll think of something while we go there."
At Shohoku High School, within the Kanagawa Prefecture (where the three basketball powerhouses of Shoyo High, Ryonan High, and Kainan Academy also belonged)...
Yukina, Kazuma Kuwabara (inside Sakuragi's body), Hanamichi Sakuragi (inside Kuwabara's body), and Haruko Akagi finally made it to the game.
Just in time. Everyone was done warming up.
"Wow! I didn't expect we'd get such a big crowd here!" said Haruko, and one of her friends, Fuji (the one with short hair), said, "It's because Rukawa is playing, silly."
"Where have you been? It's getting tense here," said Haruko's other friend, Matsui, who had full lips, a tan, and twin pigtails.
"About time you got there, Hana... WOAH! What happened to your face?" said Yohei, and it took a minute for Kuwabara to realize he was talking to him.
"Uh, yeah. Rough day at rehab," Kazuma said. Yukina did her best to heal the black eye in short notice, but he still looked scuffed up by the end of it.
He then backed off after seeing the tall man... taller than either him or Sakuragi... say, "Listen up! The team we'll be fighting made it to the quarterfinals of Inter High. Don't underestimate Minami High!"
"GORI! It's been a long time! I can't believe I'd miss that face of yours!" said Hanamichi, forgetting himself for a minute there.
Takenori Akagi took one look at Sakuragi before turning towards Kuwabara and asking, "Who's this, Sakuragi? Your uncle or your father?"
"I DON'T LOOK THAT OLD!" shouted Kazuma, who also forgot himself while he saw his dumbass body roll on the ground laughing at... himself. Like he was his evil twin or something.
"SAKURAGI HANAMICHI! Are you going to play today? Put on a jersey and let's get to work!" said Ayako, the basketball manager of the group.
"Hohoho. Let's have a nice memorable game, Sakuragi-kun," said this fat Buddha-looking coach that reminded Kazuma of Colonel Saunders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame. Only fatter.
"Er, wait..." Kuwabara began, only for Sakuragi to butt in, "I'm afraid of my 'nephew' getting hurt, so I'll have to sub for him, Gori! I also know how to play basketball!" which made the latter want to strangle himself.
"STOP FOOLING AROUND!" Takenori ended up yelling at both "uncle" and "nephew" before grabbing hold of Kuwabara (in Sakuragi's body) by his collar and dragging him away like a kitten.
In guilt, the former captain of Shohoku bowed at Sakuragi (in Kuwabara's body) and said, "I apologize for losing my temper. I don't know what your nephew said to you, sir, but please... don't call me by that name."
"Nooo! Gori! That's not meeee...!" said Hanamichi while Yukina and Haruko dragged him back to the bench.
The Elder Akagi then propped Kuwabara up and asked, "Is your back going to be a problem? Is that why your uncle wants to sub you out?"
Kazuma gulped at this large, tanned gorilla man that made him wonder in the back of his mind if he had some animal blood in him before saying, "Nope. My..." he grit his teeth, "uncle just loves playing pranks."
"Yeah, he really reminds me of you. I hope he doesn't sue me or anything for yelling at him," Akagi said before harrumphing. "And you, you better not be rusty on court!"
"Huh? Uh, okay..." said Kazuma before going back to Sakuragi and asking him where his locker was. Also, while Hanamichi screamed at him to better not "fuck this up", Kuwabara tried remembering a time when he actually played basketball.
He was a sportsman himself, sure. He played quite a bit of baseball. A little bit of soccer, especially in P.E. He even got into kendo in order to better practice his sword swing around the time he accidentally triggered the power to summon the Rei-Ken.
The last time he ever played basketball was in elementary. And he sucked at it. Damn shame too, because he had the height for it and all.
This led to him being called "Statue" during grade school basketball (until he beat his bullies up to shut them up). All height, no skill.
He even told the players who humiliated him that it didn't matter to him that he lost because basketball wasn't even a popular sport in Japan to begin with.
He didn't say a peep about any of this to Hanamichi even after putting on his jersey, shorts, shoes, and other gear. He simply smiled, nodded, and waved at the strangers who called him all sorts of weird names.
He didn't have the heart to tell Sakuragi the truth while inadvertently "borrowing" his body, but he along with everyone else was going to find this out soon enough anyway.
"Number 10! Shohoku! Traveling!"
"NYAHAHAHA! What the hell is that, Hanamichi? Did you forget how to play basketball after all these months?"
"What are we laughing at him for? Remember how many months it took for us to teach him how to shoot? Give us back our time, Hanamichi!"
"Stop making a fool of yourself, Number 10! You're ruining the game for Rukawa!"
"No, you don't understand! That's not me! It's an imposter! He's making me look bad!"
"BWAHAHA! Nice one, Uncle!"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"
"OW! He even headbutts like Hanamichi!"
"Dou aho (Big fool). Keep your eye on the ball."
Kazuma sneered at that last asshole who cursed at him.
What a prick. He was the same braggart who shrugged at the other team after shooting two three-pointers.
All the while, his personal cheerleaders cheered for him, saying, "RUKAWA! L-O-V-E! RUKAWA!" repeatedly.
Then again, shouldn't Shohoku be benching Kuwabara by now? Was Sakuragi really such a terrible player that they were used to newbie mistakes like that from him?
It was only the start of the first quarter and already, Kuwabara was out of breath. He had stamina to spare when dealing with demonic invasions, so how was a dinky basketball match tiring him?!
A short-haired guy grabbed Hanamichi('s body) by the shoulders. "Tired already, Sakuragi? Your back isn't hurting you or anything?"
"A-Are you kidding, I'm just getting warmed up, dude!" Kuwabara called him dude because he had no idea what his name was.
"You better not be tired, or you'll get benched," said the player who'd been giving Shohoku its share of three-pointers along with the pale-faced, squinty-eyed asshole with his own cheerleading squad.
A memory, not his own, of the same player fainting filled Kazuma's mind.
This former MVP who played middle school basketball but had trouble keeping up with the lengthier games of high school basketball.
"Pace yourself better," the short-haired guy with a scar on the lower left portion of his face said seconds before scoring another three-pointer in a so-far even game.
Okay. So who were his teammates for the starting lineup? Number 4 was the muscular, tan, and scary dude who worked mostly under the basket.
The one who did loads of three-pointers was Number 14. The short guy who moved like lightning and was the current team captain was Number 7.
And the tall, sullen guy who reminded him of what would happen if Hiei and Kurama had a baby was... 'Rukawa.' Number 11.
Hard to forget his name when he had cheerleaders reminding everyone of what it was every time he scored, which was often.
Yeah, that fucking guy. Rukawa rubbed Kazuma the wrong way, just like Hiei did.
Speaking of Hiei, the opposing team seemed like it was filled with midget Hiei impersonators who flitted around like hummingbirds.
How good was Shohoku High's basketball team? Kuwabara heard they got eliminated in the prelims before even reaching the quarterfinals, semifinals, or finals of Inter High.
Sure, they faced the previous year's undefeated champion two games into the Inter High Tournament's prelims, but to not survive afterwards resulted in a poor showing.
Then again, so did Hiei, Kurama, and Urameshi back in the Makai Tournament. It was like fighting the final boss in the middle of an RPG or something.
The alarming thing was that even as Kazuma saw jaw-dropping dunks from the twin towers of Rukawa and Akagi, steals from Ryota, rebounds from Akagi, and three-pointers from Rukawa and Mitsui, the other team of midgets kept up.
At first, he thought the game was going to be a breeze. All the players were shorter than them except maybe their long-armed point guard. Even Shohoku's three-pointer expert shooting guard was taller than some of these twerps.
They seemed to choke at the start, with several of them unable to keep up with Shohoku's pace... till the point guard and the center karate chopped their heads and reminded them of their training.
Then Shohoku saw them in their Inter High form.
The player with the Number 6 jersey was particularly dangerous.
Earlier, people (especially the Sakuragi-possessed body of Kuwabara) laughed at him, calling him a manlet and a middle school kid who got lost and ended up in a high school practice game.
He was only about 5'2" or 150 centimeters (Kazuma swore he was 5'0"), but...
"WOW! ANOTHER SLAM DUNK FROM THE PINT-SIZED DYNAMO, NATSUME!"
He had a 100-centimeter or three-foot vertical jump.
"What is with this team? It's like they're a whole squad of Ryochins!" said Sakuragi.
"Hmm? Well, Minami Gakuen (South High School) was able to reach further than Shohoku did in last year's Inter High," explained Ayako. "The only team who stopped them was the eventual national champion, Meiho High."
Hanamichi's blood boiled (or Kuwabara's did). Meiho. He remembered the game they had with Aiwa (who defeated Shohoku soon after Shohoku defeated Sanno).
He also didn't forget the huge player who led Meiho to victory. A rookie (at the time) named Morishige. A 6'5" or 199 centimeter monster that scored against Aiwa with 50 points, 22 rebounds, and 10 blocks.
"And it was a pretty close match too. Even closer than the match Kainan had in the finals," revealed Ayako. "They're more about team play than run-and-gun offense."
There was their ace and small forward, Number 6 Natsume, who jumped like a kangaroo. Then there was their defender and center, Number 7 Date, a colorful character with dreadlocks and long, gibbon-like arms.
It was through Date that Natsume was able to draw fouls, get free throw shots, and have possession of the ball despite dealing with giants like Akagi, tipping the ball at the last moment.
As for their power forward, Number 5 Nakamura, he was the glue that filled any holes in the plays of Number 6 and 7. The rest of their team was composed of freshmen shooters, Number 8 and 9.
Then there was the captain and senior point guard, Number 4 Miyamoto, who wore prescription goggles instead of glasses to keep them from falling during the game. He was the tactical genius that served as their on-court coach.
After Mitsui hit his three-pointers (three of them, one more than Rukawa), the shooters of Minami, Number 5 and Number 8, answered back.
They then shifted to Zone Defense to oppose Shohoku's Man-to-Man Defense.
It was Natsume who led the team's offense, driving past even speedsters like Rukawa or Miyagi with his "crossover" dribbling.
Most importantly, the game went like a flash, maximizing one shooting opportunity after another.
This was why during the first quarter of the game, the score was at 25-19, an early Minami High lead.
"So if we defeat them, we get that much closer to defeating the false champion of Inter High," said Sakuragi. "Making us the real champion."
"Er, yeah. I guess?" said Ayako, who wiped the dollop of sweat on her forehead. 'This guy is acting more Sakuragi-like right now than Sakuragi!'
"HEY! NUMBER 10! DO SOMETHING, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!" Out of all the people who had to say that to "Sakuragi", it just had to be "Kuwabara".
'Is Sakuragi really okay?' Shohoku's Number 7 and current captain, Ryota Miyagi, thought after seeing the nonexistent performance of Hanamichi thus far. 'Maybe his back injury is still killing him. I should let Kogure play and have him benched.'
To illustrate this point, unlike the original Sakuragi, the Kazuma-possessed Sakuragi's attempts at rebounding and tipping the ball only resulted in it going either out of bounds or into the opponents' side of the court, which made him shy away from even attempting them in the first place.
However, every so often, because Hanamichi was the highest jumper in the team, he assisted Takenori "Gori" Akagi in getting the rebound. What he lacked in rebounding skill, he made up for in enthusiasm. So Miyagi let Sakuragi stay.
Then, during the second quarter, as soon as Kaede Rukawa got Shohoku's score up with fast breaks and opportune passes to the dunking Akagi and well-balanced Ryota (who himself could attack as well as defend in order to keep Minami players guessing), that was when Natsume began to go at Rukawa.
Ace versus ace. Former rookie versus former rookie. Future captain versus future captain.
"This midget has got guts, taking on Shohoku's Ace!"
"Come show that cheeky brat what you're made of, Rukawa-kun!"
It wasn't a repeat of Sendo versus Rukawa by any means, since Rukawa (who was about 187 centimeters or 6'1") was at least 37 centimeters or a foot taller than Natsume.
However, two things happened. One, Rukawa had to go low in order to even reach the kid. Two, when Shohoku's Ace attempted to steal the ball, he got headbutted for his trouble without the referee noticing.
Minami's Number 6 could keep up even with Shohoku's Number 11 because he was used to handling bigger guys than him. Also, Kaede was more of a scoring machine anyway who only started passing the ball recently.
A crossover later and Natsume was able to go past Rukawa and move under the basket, with Shohoku's Man-to-Man Defense too widespread to do anything about it, crashing the boards with a dunk.
It eventually became a 10-0 run and a 43-28 lead for Minami. A 15-point lead.
'Beaten by midgets. How embarrassing,' thought Kuwabara about the team that wouldn't bench him even after he screwed up so much. Speaking of midgets, his eyes met the current captain's eyes, who then made a funny face at him. 'The fuck...?'
Wait. There was one thing Kuwabara was good at doing in basketball. It allowed him to survive and pass all his basketball P.E. classes, at that.
Sure enough, Shohoku's Number 7 threw a wide pass over all the heads of the smaller players of Minami.
"The pass is too high! Rebound!" said Minami's own Number 7, the guy with dreads.
Kazuma thusly jumped, ignoring the twinge on his spine and, instead of catching the ball, he guided it towards the hoop.
For an alley-oop.
An explosion of sweat and flailing limbs later, the audience erupted at the crowd-pleasing dunk variation.
"Is this really a practice match? It feels like Inter High!"
To Be Continued...
Let's get this out of the way first: "Slam Dunk" is the rightful property of Takehiko Inoue, Toei Animation, and Shueisha. "Cross Over" is the rightful property of Kouji Seo and Kondasha (although I only used its player characters for reference). All rights reserved.
Hope you enjoyed reading this side story as much I enjoyed writing it. As usual, these side stories are mostly adventures (arguably side quests) that aren't covered by the main story arcs.
Arrivederci,
Abdiel