Tales of Berseria: A Second Chance
Chapter 2:
Prayers Toward the Future.
Feeling a weight in my head, I caressed my forehead with annoyance. I made myself more comfortable in the bed changing my position from left to right, pressing my mattress more against me. I curled my toes, moving down my head, not matter what I tried, the headache didn't wanted to go.
"Laphi... I'm glad you're safe."
Suddenly, I heard a loud noise. Waking me up instantly, "Ahhh!" I found myself in my bedroom, nothing out of usual aside the late hour of the night, "It was a dream?" Before I could scratch my eyelids with a fist, I noticed what I was holding in my other hand, opening my eyes a bit wide.
"The comb, it wasn't a dream..."
Laphi gave it to me, after exchanging a handmade copy of Arthur's book for it. He always told me my hair was beautiful, and I should keep taking care of it, despite my old comb being broke, making my long traits a bit tousled. Is mostly the reason why I started to brace it in a ponytail despite taking much time.
I smiled looking at it, Niko really wanted me to take it. Though it feels a bit unfair taking in mind what he exchange for it...
"You should had took the compa--
That loud sound again, now interrupting my thoughts as I took a glance through the window. My mouth opened as a sweat formed in my forehead.
It was the crimson moon, a Scarlet Night...
Not again... not again!
I quickly stood from my bed, putting my jacket, pantyhose and boots as fast a possible before leaving my room.
"Arthur! Laphi! Is a Scarlet Night, where are you both?"
Not responses. Worried I checked Laphi room, empty. I climbed the stairs and found no one in the guest room either, "Where you two go?!"
The inside of my chest was hurting, as my headache went worse. It was telling me something bad was going to happen.
"Calm down Velvet, maybe they are outside on town! Yes, they should be!" I left the house in a hurry, looking my surroundings as the red lights were covering the trees and illuminating the place.
It reminded me of three years ago, when my sister... When Celica...
My fears grew, as both my lips and eyes started to tremble. No, no... "Arthur! Laphi! Where are you?!, answer me, answer me!"
I kept calling them without response, running around my house without success. I panted for breath, not really caring of my state, I just really wanted to be with them as soon as possible, I walked again until something jumped toward me...
A daemon...
"Ahhh!" I jumped backward at the last second, barely avoiding it's claws, that pierced the floor. It was looking at me with thirst and hunger, it was happening again. Two more were walking toward me, joining the one who attacked me. "No... NO NOOOOOOOO!' shaking my head I left my home behind.
I was running fast toward the town, with hopes of finding them there. How and when the daemonblight reached Aball?! This was supposed to be a secure place! Not many daemons were around, and Arthur was protecting us!
This is why he and Laphi ran away?
A gasp escaped my lips.
They... leave me behind?
No, it was impossible, why they would? We love each other, there's not way they would do something like that to me! I trust in my family... and he swore to protect us. There must be an explanation!
"Daemons are coming! Did someone saw Arthur and Laphi?!" I yelled after passing the little bridge, noticing many people in the outside, looking down without moving, "Hey... what's..?" Something appeared at everyone feet, as their starting yelling in agony. I took a few steps back before stopping remembering the monsters.
Suddenly everyone was being covered in something black, turning into daemons, one by one...
"Ah..." why, why... WHY?! Those couples, the old lady, the shopkeeper, Niko... everyone!? "No, please... ARTHUR, LAPHI!!!" I kept running toward Tranquil woods, keeping my tears, I needed to be strong if i wanted to find them, I needed to find them...
As I kept avoiding daemons, rushing through the forest non stop, I nearly fall head first, covering my face with my left arm, yelling in pain for a second before stood and keep going. It didn't mattered to me, I wanted to be sure my family was safe... I already lost my parents, I already lost Celica... If I lost Arthur... If I lost Laphi...
"NO, THEY ARE DEFINITELY ALRIGHT!"
It should be, They should be! Arthur and Laphi were everything I have left, If I lost them as well... I.
I finally reached the shrine, my eyes recover they bright the second I found them standing near the cliff. A smile appeared on my lips, they were safe, we are safe...
"Arthur, Laphi! There's Daemons in the village, everyone turned into them!" I kept my smile with some tears on my eyes, "Your both are alright!"
"Velvet!" Laphi exclaimed in disbelief.
"You..." Arthur said, a bit cold.
I approached them slowly, regaining my breath, "Thank goodness... you kept Laphi safe, didn't you Arthur?" I put a hand on my chest. After witnessing the village turning in daemons, my head was feeling heavy. We are safe, a least...
Instead of answering me, they both kept silent for some seconds... making that feel in my chest return.
Arthur silhouette lifted his head, as the enormous red moon was just behind him, "One more sentiment to cast off..."
Laphi was looking at him a bit nervous before turning his head toward me, worried, "Velvet! Run!"
What... what's going on? Why is he?, "Arthur?!" I started to run toward them, but. "AHG!" Something chained my ankles, making my body fall on the ground, groaning I tried to get up, but flames appeared in my four limbs, stopping me at all cost, "Gahhhh!!"
This flames...
Why they are, standing there? Why Seres was stopping me?
"Here, once was the seal to the underworld broken." Arthur grabbed the handle of his sword, "and tonight, shall birth the power to save the world! With Laphicet life as a sacrifice!"
"What!?" I stopped struggling, watching him in disbelief, "What are... you saying?!" Did he seriously said that?!
As Arthur raised his sword, Laphi stood there, closing his eyes. My eyes started to tremble, as a storm was released on my mind, and my heart shouts in desperation.
This can't be real...
This can't be real!
THIS CAN'T BE REAL!!!!
Using his sword to prepare an arte, Arthur pierced it on the ground, casting a big circle that lifted Laphi above the shrine, his silhouette visible as a shadow through the red moonlight. I just watched him going up, not processing what was happening.
Just minutes ago for me, we were fighting a daemon, I protected him... he gave me this comb... then why? WHY? WHAT'S GOING ON?
As he body stopped midair, Arthur was about to pierce right into his soul with magic.
"Arthur! No!"
But he didn't listened to me, he stabbed through the spell, summoning two blades of light that pierced my brother's body without mercy
No... NO... NOOOO. I REFUSE TO LET HIM DIE.
As his body was released, starting to fall on the hole. I recovered enough strength to escape the flames, rushing toward the fall as I threw myself and grabbed his hand on time, barely succeeding in grabing the near of the cliff with my left hand. I could feel his pulse on his wrist... there was still time!
"Laphi..."
"Let him go. This is an offering to the world."
Arthur's cold voice pierced my altered emotions, I could feel the anger building alongside my extreme agony. I looked at him, expecting a clear explanation.
"Why... would you?" We are your family! What did he did to deserves this! Laphi has a lot of hopes and dreams, why did he steal them from him?!
"Nothing can save him now..."
"No! NO! NOOOOO!" His eyes were hurting me, but I didn't cared, his words alone were betraying every kind of respect I had about him.
Why he... WHY CELICA...
"I see you will never change." He raised his sword, pointing my left hand, my eyes opened wide catching his intention, "Always a slave to emotions."
It happened so fast, I barely noticed when he did it. I was starting to fall slowly, as he just was watching me with his cold expression. My left hand was still grabbed to the cliff, but my elbow was cut from it.
My blood was spilling through a trail that barely connected it, still, I wasn't feeling pain... my heart was broken, my soul crying in despair. Laphi was dead... Arthur betrayed us...
Just why... he said something about save the world, he really was willing to go this far for a ton of people he didn't know? He sacrifices Aball, use my brother in a ritual, didn't even hesitate in cut my arm just to use Laphi as sacrifice, even if that kills me as well...
My eyelids felt heavier, I couldn't endure my headache, the burning inside my chest, and now the blood I was losing... I am dead? So this is how everything ends...
A slave of emotions he said...
As I kept falling I looked down, over my shoulder. Laphicet's body was ahead of me, blood around his stomach, not a single trail of life was on his body.
Laphi... he wanted to travel across the ocean, he wanted to become an exorcist to save the world, protect me... he wanted to keep studying and become a scholar...
Why...
I should had bought him that compass...
Why...?
He should traded that book for that compass...
Why..?!
He just worked so hard for me! Despite needing to endure his damn illness! WHY HE DIDN'T THOUGHT ABOUT HIM? WHY ARTHUR STOLE HIS DREAM, AND LIFE?!
"Laphi..."
In the depths of the abyss, a dragon mouth appeared, engulfing my brother dead body like a snack. I guess I was next...
No...
My eyes opened wide, as I noticed two traits of light coming toward me...
No, he can't be gone...
"Laphicet!!!"
As I keep falling, the light turned into another dragon receiving me in it's mouth as well.
Everything surrounded me was light...
"How he could..."
I could feel I was still alive... Why I'm alive... he just killed him... he just betrayed us... our happiness meant nothing to him... Arthur! Arthur!
As the flame inside my chest keeps growing, all my sadness turned into anger... piercing my glare towards the sky.
"HOW COULD YOU!!"
And that's when, I became a monster... my humanity already meant nothing.
I don't know how exactly, but I was pushed back toward the shrine, falling near the exit, a bit afar from Arthur.
I felt the dirt on my face, right hand, all over me. And I could felt, my left arm back... not just that, all my senses growth, I could hear better, I could sense the daemons nearby... I could... sense Arthur.
He is still there...
I stood without difficulty, what normally would cause pain on my body felt like nothing, even if it can, I wouldn't care either way. My left hand was burning, my teeth were pressed, my eyebrows narrowed harshly, and my stomach started to growl as well.
This is me... I kept breathing to recover air, despite the overwhelming mix emotions inside me.
Daemons started to aproach me, in all my surroundings... but I wasn't scared, instead I was...
One behind me jumped towards me, but I catches it's face without trouble, not even facing it, and with a harsh quick move I hit it to the ground uncaring, this daemon was just a prey.
I was hungry...
Not knowing how exactly I learned it, I crushed the wolf skull with a single bite of my arm, feeling it's flesh, blood, and lifeform being consumed by me. Part of it's blood were spilled around, including my cheek, still I kept devouring it, feeling it's body going through my arm, more smaller to my throat, and then my stomach. I could feel how was giving me strength, I kept going until it completely dissapeared, trapped forever inside me.
The next second other of the daemons tried to attack me, and it was useless.
Something primal was inside of me, overwhelming my senses. I was hungry, and I wanted more, MORE!
I slashed one of the creatures, making it fall on the ground, as without headsitation I started to devour it as well. I licked the blood that was near my cheek, what if I?
As other was a about to attack me, I used my leg and foot blade to knock it in front of me. I grabbed it with my right hand to leave it still, and I bite into it's head, feeling the same power of my hand, feeling it's flavor on my tongue. I kept devouring both until were left to nothing, and I kept doing that as more daemons tried to attack me, just to end as food inside of me.
"A daemon that feeds on daemons... A Therion."
So that's what I am now...
I slashed one daemon on it's torso then pushed it away with a kick, I jumped toward it to consume it as well, I didn't leave a single one. All those I devoured, I could feel their nourishment giving me strength.
"Arthur!"
Now my attention was back toward that man, my brother's killer... my anger was boiling, and my hatred was overpowering me, if he turned me into a monster, as a wild animal I will slaughter him as one. Feeling bits of blood on my clothes, and my arm, I turned it into a fist, ready to receive the figure in front of me.
I ran toward him, he was going to pay everything he did to my brother, to my family, and he will pay it with his miserable life.
More daemons appeared in front of me, I glared at them, with a slow breathing, "AHHHGRR!" I howled as I attacked every single one of them, showing not mercy, cutting their bodys with my claws, biting their throats, stomping their heads, wathever was enhanced by this power. "Why did you killed him?! Why?!" I wasn't human anymore, so I just embraced what I was now.
He didn't answered, just looking at the daemon slaughter I was causing.
He killed my Laphi, and I will never forgive him! "His blood, on your hands!" I trapped one on my arm and started to eat it, using my kicks to any other that tried to stop me, "Get out of my way, or all of you are next!" Finishing it, I went directly to another group of daemons, "He was my brother! My Laphi! What did he even did?!" I kept shouting to Arthur, not caring if he was ignoring me. He was going to be left to nothing in my hands, anyway.
After a while, I was finishing off the last daemon, consuming it. There were so many that I leave others just as corpses, that I could devour later. I was starting to feel tired, all that ambush was too much, even with my advantage and senses.
"Take a look around" watching Arthur with my heavy eyelids, I did as he said opening them wide in shock.
Not daemons, they were the villagers. Everyone I knew, everyone I a least talked once just yesterday, Niko...
I killed them... I devoured them...
"Daemonblight has spread towards the village," he said piercing one daemon that was going to attack him, "but do not fear, with my power as an exorcist..."
My hands started to shake, a flood of emotions going directly to my head, as my broken heart was turning cold. I shouted like a roar, at the limits of my patience, running directly toward Arthur with a expression hungry for his blood
"I, Artorius Colibrande, will end your pain."
I jumped toward him to slash him with my claws, but right before land the hit a fire ball pushed me back as I was trapped in what looked like a prison of light.
"Seres?" I see... so she's at his side as well. I can finally see her, but she was a traitor...
Some figures started to appear around me, they didn't felt like humans, more similar to what Seres was.
Artorius approached me, as I lost my strength to fight back, confused.
"Why do you think birds fly? Behold my answer, Velvet." He raised his sword toward me again.
"Art...hur..."
"I ask no forgiveness. The sin is mine to bear."
My mind started to fade, He was long gone as well... everything in my life was destroyed, by my hands. My brother was taken from me, by his hands... he also made me a monster...
I lost everything, I lost my future, I lost...
I pressed my fist against the floor, piercing him in another glare, "ARTORIUS!"
I lost my consciousness, but It was clear... Velvet Crowe lost her humanity that day...
...
"Artorius!!" I shouted waking up suddenly, my bandage arm extending toward the ceiling, the familiar one from my house. I gasped, feeling a bit of sweat going from my temple, to my cheek, "A nightmare... ah." Feeling a headache, I caressed my forehead, as I closed my eyes.
The nightmare felt so real, like I was reliving that horrible night again. The Moonlight, the daemons, the taste of flesh and blood... all of it.
"Laphi..." I thought he didn't knew what was happening, I believed he was just assassinated without compassion. The truth was, he offered himself, and he wanted me to not know it... "Why Laphi..." I sighed, as I got back to my senses. There's nothing I would get by wondering all of this at this point. Is all in the past now, I should... move on and accept...
They both betrayed me...
Releasing a sigh, I stood from the floor, remembering I was sleeping in the livingroom. I was currently wearing one of my old night clothes, barefoot. I wanted to wash my tattered clothes and prepare it for my next journey, but not having time after the dinner with everyone, I decided to leave it for tomorrow.
It felt a bit weird changing clothes after so long, and despite the state they were, I grew fond of that outfit. It was easy to move with it, flexible for combat, long walks, and despite the amount of details, was simple to put on.
Looking over my house, memories of my time with my family came to mind. I honestly thought I wouldn't ever come back after be sent to Titania, it made my chest hurt knowing how long this place was empty for three years straight, and let's not talk about Melchior surprises when we visited months ago.
It took me awhile to actually move on from that pain, the wound was still in my heart in my despair and hatred. Somewhere inside me, forming malevolence, so I couldn't stop it.
Releasing a sigh I look over Laphi's room, there was Magilou sleeping in his bed, with bienfu at her side. In other hand, Eleanor was sleeping in mine, using one of my sleeping wear as well, she must felt tired after all this crazy adventure, and help me cleaning the house. And both as humans, they needed their sleep more than anyone.
I took a glance toward the first floor, as I jumped toward it, finding the beds empty, "They're not here..." I guess they decided to leave early, the pirate crew could not longer see them, so was a wise decision prepare themselves going to the ship late at night.
Looking over the window, I gazed the dark horizon full of stars. I almost forgot how peaceful the night felt here, last time we were here at this sky, my mind was occupied enduring the illusion memories, so I didn't cared of it. As much I wanted to forget that from happening, it was still a sting on my heart, thinking I could had my life back, despite everything I did, be with Laphi and everyone I killed once again...
I really can't fight my own happiness... If it wasn't for Phi carelessness, I would be trapped in it forever...
Dreams are dreams because they are impossible, so I decided to accept my reality.
I shook my head, "I still can't believe that arte exists... If I see someone else using it, I will definitely devour them whole, not matter who." I scowled in a murmur as I got back to the living room leaving my anger behind, then I looked my surroundings.
I was already adapted at the darkness, I could see clearly despite it, so there was not need to light the candles, wanting to let the other girls sleep comfortably. Three years without maintenance really hit this house hard, though there was not time or even reason to clean last time, thankfully yesterday was different.
My lips formed a smile remembering the moment we started cleaning the place before dinner, Eleanor and Magilou offered themselves to help me, as Rokurou and Eizen joined just because they didn't wanted to just stand there, it didn't took that long at the end, and I was grateful of everyone, rewarding them with all the plates I could prepare.
As I remember our journey, each one always mentioned to accompany me for their own goals, "I'm surprised they followed me here, I wonder why..." neither of the men told me, I forgot to ask them with the overwhelming memories in my head, they were the most reluctant in helping me sometimes, but I respected their decision, it was their lifes, "They should be near the village." And it was probably the last time I would be able to ask, so I put my flat sandals and went outside to search them.
The village was almost taked by nature, giving me a sense of both fear and nostalgia, as doubts start to make me think it was too late to restore this town. I remember the villagers being comfortable with life here not matter the difficult times, or if one of them was growing tired to move, they even reach to support them. It makes me sad this place would forever just be a shadow of what it was, or worse, forgotten in time... even with who I am now, I still love Aball...
Walking in silence to avoid more memories, the image of each villager appeared around me, I wasn't brave enough to look at them in the eyes lowering my gaze, just focused on keep going as their pair of feet was on my field of vision. I didn't wanted to look their disgusted eyes at me, I already got plenty in my entire quest, and I wasn't in the mood of keep hurting my heart like that.
I know I couldn't make things right anymore, after all I devoured them... I deserve this torture...
I passed through tranquill woods, surprisingly there was not a single daemon like last time, quickly figuring it was the guys doing, an admirable smile appeared on me, they protected my home as they planned.
Finally in the shrine entrance, a quick image of Laphi and Arthur appeared in front of it, but quickly fading as my vision went normal.
I found the both of them around the place. Rokurou was training without his shirt, again under a tree; Eizen was looking around the shrine structures, the two of them were really focused in what they loved to do.
Must be nice to have a hobbie...
I felt a breeze through my bare legs, shoulders, and arms, it was probably cold at this hour, but wasn't a problem for me, instead was like a relaxing blow. Maybe that was the reason for them to come here.
"Oh Velvet! You're awake!" Rokurou greeted, after doing an horizontal blow with the wood, "Is rare see you in other clothes," he continued training.
I put one hand over my waist, "I'm Not surprised that Even after defeating Shigure, you will continue training hard," smiling at the words, as I keep watching him.
"Of course! Like how Eleanor said, now I'm the strongest swordsman. Soon or later someone else would challenge me, I need to be prepared!" He continued with some horizontal blows, grinning with pride.
"I see, you don't need to worry about me being stronger then."
"Oh? Are you interested in challenge me then?"
I shrugged my other hand, "Sorry but no, I want to keep my life in order. I don't have time to deal with challengers I could just end devouring."
Rokurou laughed at my answer, "I thought so! Aside, you fight with a really unusual style. Not just with a sword attached in your arm, your acrobatic and use even another attached in your feet, is quite the spectacle see you fight, even with your therion arm.
"You were, watching me..?"
"Yeah I did! I love fights, we should fight at our full power in the future!" He exclaimed raising one fist to his chest. I sweat a bit narrowing my eyes, of course he was meaning that.
I giggled getting back to the subject, "See you training this much in that battle style makes me think you're trying to dominate a peaceful stance."
He widened his eyes in a smile, "oh, you noticed! Yes, I still haven't dominated it. Tough it would be difficult with all my grudges as a daemon... but, knowing you succeeded in getting inner peace inspired me!"
I arched an eyebrow, taken a back, "I did? What do you mean?"
"Back when I met you, you were more severe and willing to take anyone who opposed to you without second thought. You fell into a lot of desperate times, that was quite hard to watch, and despite that, you still continue forward, now you're balanced your emotions"
Surprised by that explanation I recalled what he meant, since Phi saved me from my despair, I really stopped struggling more in my own memories and I left aside most of my ruthless attitude. This time thinking more about what my companions wanted instead of force them to follow my decisions. I'm actually impressed he noticed. Not like I would actually be able to forgive myself for all the chaos I caused, so I don't exactly think I'm at peace with myself, but...
"Yes, I'm more comfortable with who I am now..." I nodded, forcing a smile.
"And you can keep trying!" I gasped by those words, "Maotelus gave us a chance despite being Daemons, so I hope I can help him and still be myself fighting the remaining ones." He gazed the full moon at his back, the determination in his voice was something this entire journey never fade.
"You never change huh? But I'm glad you found a new path." I smiled to him, "Thank you for everything Rokurou!"
"Of course, anytime I can, as long is in my own objectives!"
"You didn't needed to follow me here you know," I narrowed my eyes, "or there's another debt you need to accomplish?" I teased, I can't really recall it.
"Training! Just Training!" He excused himself with fake determination.
"Or is because no one in the Van Eltia can see you anymore?"
"Caught in the act, huh..." he scratched his head. "I still need to get used to it, is not fun is my opponents can't see me."
"I'm sure you will fine, you're the master swordsman Rokurou, alright? Anyone that can oppose you should be a worthy opponent." He faced a lot of opponents to get this stronger, even his own mother. Is too soon to consider he really reached his zenith.
"Wow, you're right! That makes me feel better, thanks Lord of calamity." he joked at the end as he raised one of his fist, determined, then he gazed at me again, now with that hand on his chest, "you will travel with Eleanor, no? Take care of her, I still need to share the drink we promised."
"I will, I'm sure she will miss you."
"Probably, well Velvet, I hope you find you're own path someday, I'm sure that's what Maotelus... and yourself want."
"..." I looked aside, remembering Phi's words, it's not going to be easy, "I hope as well..."
Saying our goodbyes one last time, I leave him in his training as I approached Eizen this time, he was sit on the cliff looking at the ocean, with his coin on hand.
"Still trying to get faces?" I sat at his side in a proper distance, taking off my sandals and moving my legs on the cliff. He smiled at my comment before looking at me with his usual expressions.
"I gave up a long time ago, so I'm just killing time." He flipped the coin again, "didn't thought after joining you in the fortress the journey would end with cleaning." He shrugged one hand.
"You're the one who followed us here, and you volunteered to not get bored. So don't make excuses," I scowled with my normal voice, not wanting to sound harsh, though isn't really that helpful.
Surprised he just looked at the ocean, "Yeah you're right, I don't like feel bored..."
"That's why you followed us, the entire journey."
Eizen released a dry chuckle, "In part, you're not wrong. After what you did in Hellawes you caught my interest, along with the determination of your foolishness, how I would ignore the red velvet opportunity to find Airfreed?"
"Oh come on, don't use my name like that." I arched an eyebrow, my arms still crossed.
"I didn't told anyone, but you're the only person I met, that ever got heads on my coin."
"Wait, really... it landed on head?"
"Yes, and even without trying. It gave me the hunch that help you in this adventure would be worth the effort." He extended his arm with his coin to me, like looking at the both of us, "There were times I almost really wanted to leave you behind, you're self absorbed desire for revenge put not just our teammates, but my crew as well in danger. And your malevolence grew stronger, almost like a walking disaster for Malakins."
I lowered my gaze, feeling guilty... even I couldn't forgive myself from that.
"But I trusted you, and in Laphicet." He threw me his coin, which I caught with ease thanks to my reflex. It landed on tails again, "I ended thinking, I don't care if I end like a dragon as long we succeed the last task, because is part of my creed." He grabbed his pendant, "and I wanted that edna, everyone, included you to maintain their feelings. That's what make people what they are."
I kept looking at the coin, pressing my other hand in a fist, "But mine are horrible... any malak that comes near me, would be in danger... Phi shouldn't had save me."
"The kid always based his own decisions thanks to you, he really wanted to help you, going far as threatening us if we tried to stop him,' Eizen laughed, "he really resembles you, in a lot of good ways, but he become his own man."
I kept myself silent.
"As long Malaks domain are not strong enough, keep your distance from them, if they're innocent." Then he frowns a bit, his blue eyes determined, "but if one of them try to attack you, or worse, get rid of you." He shrugged, "eat them or something, don't hesitate just to avoid feel guilty, you're still alive."
I giggled, "I don't like malaks flavor that much..." I took a glimpse of the ring Seres gave me, "but thanks for the advice, unlike Eleanor who wanted me to say I shouldn't." I flipped the coin, catching it with close eyes, "I don't know what my future waits me. I'm sure it will be not easy, perhaps my presence will lead to some trouble." I pressed the coin in a fist, "be that as it may, I will find my reason to live." My lips made a sinister smile.
"That's a good destination, work hard and you will find it."
I shook my head as I made a fresh smile, "Thank you for everything, Eizen..." I threw his coin as him. He caught it with ease as well, "I wish you the best finding the cure for your curse, so you and Edna can be together."
"I see, his serenity rubbed of to you. Wherever you sail you're ship, remember to follow you're own objective." He opened his hand to see the coin, getting surprised as he made a decisive smile, "And I hope if we meet again, our ships head to the same way."
"Yes, and you survive... don't let anything stop you."
With those final goodbyes I was about to leave the shrine. Seeing both one last time relieved me, knowing that somehow they were fine in being part of this entire journey, regardless what we lived, and what ended happening. Rokurou will keep training to get stronger, Eizen will continue searching a cure for his curse, both were still ready to keep flying.
I crouch in a sit position, picking one of my toes, moving it a bit. They both have settled their own life. I wish I could be like that someday... a life I desire to get, far away from my reach, the one I wanted since forever...
It was unclear to answer with how hellish my life went since I lost my brother.
I closed my eyes, imagining myself alongside someone, both with a baby in hands, looking at the horizon as birds were flying. The scenery of a beautiful dream, a future that I don't deserve... the dream faded away, and myself surrounded by a burning village, with blood all over me took over, the corruption of malevolence around me stronger than ever.
"Always a slave of emotions."
"You're a monster now, you don't belong here."
As the Scarlet night towered the place, both Arthur and Laphi were standing in front of the shrine, as they just looked over me in disapproval.
"No... I will not!" I shook my head again as I stood quickly, walking fast in direction to my house.
Going through the town again I covered my head, just looking at the road as I kept walking faster, trying to avoid any disturbance. But I just heard silent, the breeze of the night, and a few bugs, not a single voice around this time.
Recovering my breath I put one hand over my chest, my heart was bumping faster, as my anxiety was growing, "..." my left hand was shaking, releasing malevolence, as my belly felt empty, "I need... I'm hungry." Uncomfortable, I caressed my stomach as I tried to calm my emotions, feeling my head heavier, "I need to eat... now..."
So I went to Morgana woods in search of a few daemons before succumbs to this emotions, as my therion arm transformed unconsciously.
As much as I would like to stop this urges, still being a therion made my appetite this insatiable very often. Innominat may as well still getting used to his new place with Phi, so I expected it. Normal food was effective in little whiles when I could eat daemons or malaks sometimes between days apart, but being unable to taste them didn't worked as well properly. If only I could, it just feels like eating cheap substance...
I just hope this doesn't bring me trouble in the future.
I released a sigh of relief as I sat on the couch of my house, finally comfortable. The sky was turning morning, and a few birds started their usual singing. I was hunting what was left of night? Time surely goes fast... god.
"Well, good I already have this task ready to start!," as I was outside in the woods, I took my time to get some pricke boars meat, and some vegetables on my trail, "and yesterday I went to Taliesin to bought more milk, tomatoes, tofu, and a few varieties of healthy sides!" I sweat a bit, "wait, I went to far selecting? I'm sure I counted the galds properly... not wait, I was right? It's has been a long time, did I lost practice..?" I put one hand over my temple, I really wanted to not mess up, I worked hard on organize this thoughts to memorize it years ago.
"You worry a lot over just food, I think is enough!" I looked over Laphi's room, Magilou was waking up, stretching her arms, wearing her own nighwear and hatless, "Since you were out all night, let me make the breakfast." She approached me and grabbed the bags I was holding, but I didn't let go, "what?" She arched an eyebrow.
I narrowed my eyes at her, "I'm not sure if I want you to set a foot on my kitchen..." what's her plan?
"Oh come on! Im not going to poison anyone, I promise! I'm a good chef, just not on your surreal level. Yet enough to consider myself four start worthy!"
"There we go... I don't doubt you, I'm just not comfortable letting other's cook for me," I stood from the couch taking the bags from her grab, and slowly kicking her ankle with my toes before I moved to the kitchen.
She followed me with her usual down expression, "You didn't had trouble with neither of us cooking in the entire journey! Not even with Eizen curse in his way; It always bothered you don't have your taste buds, so what changed?" She put both hands on her hips and looked at me with slight annoyance.
"Simple, I may don't have my taste buds, but I still want to get better at my cooking!" I raised a spoon, smiling at the ingredients I put to start making the dish, "so far Phi said my food is really great, and all of you enjoyed everything I prepared to this day. I want to keep forming a smile in you all," I pointed at her, as her expression changed to surprise.
"Wow, I didn't expected you to change your mood this smoothly..." she shrugged, taking the spoon from my hand, "but seriously, let me cook this time. You need to calm down with all the those daemons on your stomach, it surprise me you left space for real food there," she grinned maliciously poking my belly.
"Magilou." I crossed my arms as I harsher my tone, I will not let her get away with teasing, "what's with you wanting to help this early, and why are you still here? Van Eltia set sail hours ago." I didn't questioned yesterday, expecting her to go away this morning. Taking me by absolute surprise she even changed to her nightwear.
She giggled dryly, "See for yourself my dear Lord of Calamity, I'm a free bird. I just do whatever I want, and right now, I just think you need to rest before locking on the kitchen again after doing it last night, and the previous one, not seriously, get some rest it bothers me!" she pushed me away with her body, though it was a weak hit.
It's true that happened, I wanted to show some appreciation to all of them, probably staying up cleaning and preparing on the kitchen too much, she may be stupid, even so she has a point
After a brief thought I narrowed my temple as I left her side, "Alright then, just don't destroy my kitchen, arguing with you after making your mind is too exhausting." I got back to the couch as I heard Magilou shouting Magikazam for some reason, one fear. Just trusting in the memory of everyone saying her cooking is good to avoid my worries.
Not like the taste would affect me, but it would be a bother if Eleanor get sicks, or she poisons herself in my table, well with the later we can just leave her behind, nothing crazy.
As I waited on the couch looking around, I got a sense of nostalgia, picturing some moments with Laphi when we were little. He used to want to help me with housework despite being sick, of course I didn't let him, though thinking about it now, I should had... "You should had said something..." I muttered to myself.
"Morning there Velvet! Why the long face?!" I looked at my side noticing Bienfu standing on the couch armrests, he sounded worried and motivated, "You should not worry, Miss Magilou cooking is really good. The breakfast is in good hands!"
"Is not..." I shook my head nothing to worry about, changing my expression to thoughtful, "You were at her side for many years, had you? What's her speciality?"
"Oh, definitely anything that included vegetables! I love her Bazonga Veggie Bagna Cauda, the mixture of flavor is outstanding!" He spun around content as he remembered the flavor.
I smiled as those words, a least Magilou seemed to consider healthy food the best, "In you're opinion, between Eleanor and Magilou whose the better cook?"
"Oh! Miss Eleanor definitely, by a long shot her hands are magical." I shouldn't had asked, I rolled my eyes, "Her Rappig and Tomato Stew is mouth watering, she consider the balance in flavor really well, although she barely focus on how many vegetables use, yet is still a good treat!"
"That's great, well it makes me glad their both good chef, they seemed to struggle trying to learn some recipe many times, but time was a bliss with their abilities." I smiled as I remembered their dissatisfaction making some mistakes. They even asked me for help a few times, despite my lack of taste buds, they considered my cook judgment for improvement.
"Why you asked me this? You ate their food before right?" Bienfu looked confused.
"Well, my tongue just taste it like cheap substance of nothingness. Sorry for bother you with the question then" I said a bit indifferent.
"It-it's not that, Bien!" He opened his eyes wide realizing his choices of words, "You're the best cook of the team, I'm mostly curious why you needed my opinion. Laphicet for sure already told you."
Surprised, I realized his point, "True, yet he is not longer with us for now..." my gaze lowered with a little smile, "this may sound selfish but... I wish he was here."
I imagined him sleeping on the couch with his head resting over my arm. A sense of worry and security went over me, though I was aware he already grew, he not longer needs me... but what If I do?
"He is still with us Velvet!"
Surprised at the sudden new voice, I looked toward my room doorframe were Eleanor was standing. She was using one of my nightwear, though it was a little bigger for her, and her hair was down, more longer than I initially thought.
She raised a finger, "He is our new god, so technically speaking, as long you believe in him he would always be at your side!"
"There wasn't a single time I didn't believed in him..."
"Then you need to do it, harder!" She approached us, smiling with determination, "If we want more people in the kingdom to believe in him we need to show we really respect him! The more we do, the stronger Maotelus blessing is gonna be!"
"Y-Yes..." I sweat a bit, believing in gods was so unusual for me until now. Of course I'm planning in do what I can to help Phi gather more followers, but he is also someone days ago I was just hugging like it was the end of my life. I honestly can't see him in another way.
"Bien, miss Eleanor is too motivated. I'm so happy!" Bienfu jumped at her side, more animated.
"Of course I am! I was all these months just worried at the world ends, until Velvet and Maotelus saved us, there's not way I can't feel so alive and up, yes!" She seems to remember something and looks around, "Where's Rokurou and Eizen? I thought they were going off at afternoon."
"They were at the shrine some hours ago, but went to Van Eltia afterward, if the pirates can't see them it was for the best, they cannot risk to stay." I briefly explained as I stood up on my feet and went to the kitchen.
"They could a least say goodbye..." she lowered her gaze, her tone with a bit of sadness.
"They already send us off yesterday spending time with us one last time" I explained with a smile, "Those two are always serious about their objectives, they can't just stay with us as long our goals don't align, I respect that." I got back to the living room with three vase of teas, "here."
"Thanks!"
"For me? I thought it was for Magilou?"
"She's busy cooking, she can serve her own tea later or prepare her own drink."
"What!?, Velvet's cruelty overcome simple courtesy, god!" Magilou shouted as she came from the kitchen, with two plates on hands, and two over paper guardians floating.
Eleanor giggled, "You too really learned to get along."
"We're not!" "We do!"
I looked at her with a piercing glare, she just grinned victoriously as she place the plates on the table, "Hope everyone likes this speciality I made with my whole bewitching love!" She extended one arm Skyward, lifting her gaze celebrating a kind of success.
"Oh! It smells good, Miss Magilou!" Bienfu sat at her side, with his tea on hand. Eleanor and I followed, the both of us in the opposite chairs. Magilou prepared Crispy Stir-Fried Vegetables, with some meatballs, and it actually looked very appetizing with a great aroma.
Eleanor got the first bite, "Oh my god! Is delicious, I love this meat!" She praised as she continued getting some bites.
Magilou grinned with a dry laugh, "See Velvet, I'm not half bad as you thought, just lots of Love and Magikazam! Does a lot of wonder!" She looked at me teasingly before starting eating and humming in delight.
I released a sigh, "I didn't doubted you... I just wanted to be sure, didn't I? Or I wanted to just cook for you both..." I quietly muttered to myself, looking over my portion. I felt a sudden wave of emotions towards my chest as I took a glance over the girls and bienfu enjoying their food. Nothing new... I slowly took a bite, no flavor again, just a texture with zero flavor. I actually wanted to taste her food, the only big reference in my mind was Celica's cooking, my own dishes from years ago, niko's as a taste taster, and foggy memories of my mother's.
That's the flavor my dreams replicates, not matter how different the meals or ingredients are. I would never know how others, or even my actual dishes taste ever again.
"Are you missing the flavor of human meat and blood, perhaps?"
"Shut up Magilou, unless you want me to respond eating your hand." Lowering my eyebrows, I forced myself to keep eating without much wanting.
I felt her toes kicking my leg under the table, "I'm just curious, its sad keep seeing you not enjoying yourself eating here with everyone in the table." She looked at me thoughtful, then put her eyes on my left hand, "tell us, you can eat daemons with your mouth as well, so is possible you can eat normal food with your hand?"
"What kind of question is that? That's against table matters," Eleanor intervened.
"Come on, you're not curious? She could easily eat us with her hand, I'm wondering if it works like this as well."
"Yes, I could. But as Eleanor said, why I should do that? Celica taught me table matters," I smiled at the memory, using my fork with my left hand for a moment to prove my point.
"And how exactly eat with your hand works? I heard Eleanor wondering that the other day, it's a mystery of life itself!" she grinned maliciously at her, making her blush in nervousness as she just smiled hiding her gaze from me.
I half closed my eyes, I can't believe this two, "Just exactly as it sounds, my therion arm is like a second mouth with teeth and throat included, it swallows adapting in size what It gobbled and sends it through my arm to my throat and my stomach, nothing crazy. Why so interested in Therion biology suddenly?"
"Well, the other Therions just used their mouths, is more like Velvet's biology, don't you think so, Eleanor?"
"Yes! But stop putting me in your own interest! I'm not so meddlesome! We are having breakfast," she said trying to made us focus on it again.
Magilou giggled, "Yeah true, this is one of my specialties! I kinda really tried to make all of you enjoy it, so..." she looked at me again, Oh no, "I actually tried some spells to replicate the flavor of flesh and blood in your food, but seems like it didn't worked, whatever, stupid taste buds of you," she shrugged a bit disappointed but still indifferent.
"YOU WHAT, HOW?" Eleanor suddenly talked.
"What I said, not like I actually know or tried it myself, I followed just what my book said. I actually feel scammed!"
"But still, how could you?"
"Don't bother Eleanor, she's just always like this." I put a hand over my temple, keeping my temper, then directed my words to Magilou, "I appreciate the gesture, but don't use me like a guinea pig please. The less I want to believe is you actually putting people or daemons in my portion..."
Her eyes sparkle in inspiration, "Oh! Don't you want to? I think I know the perfect Shri--"
"No, don't! Just... don't, geez your just annoying..."
"Meh, you're so plain Velvet..." Magilou sighed as she focused on her food again.
A silent felt over the table, like the cheerfulness dissapear entirely, even Bienfu who was silent the whole time was uncomfortable, as Eleanor was bothered. I just kept eating without much thought, actually angered.
"What do you have, that you make Sheperds, and gods so interested in you..." I heard Magilou muttering, but I ignored her comment.
"Huh, what do you mean?" Curious, Eleanor asked. Raising an eyebrow.
"Just think about it. Velvet's life could had been normal if Innominat shrine wasn't here to begin. She could had been an exorcist if her hunch wouldn't let her go there that Scarlet Night. The Seraphims consider her feelings, 'Pure Malevolence', perfect for a Therion. Artorius used her as a guinea pig to how Therions work. Both Rokurou and Eizen followed her despite her attitude, and possibility of end in her stomach. Maotelus fell in love with her, and now he considers her a sister despite being our new god, sacrificing those great empyreans power that could change the world just to save her, I just don't understand, and I'M CURIOUS!" She ranted with annoyance, taking me by surprise.
A slight sense of guilt was now on my chest. Thinking about it now, Phi could indeed used that powers for something greater than saving me from sealing Innominat. All because he wanted me to live... and because I wanted to sacrifice myself, it was my fault either way.
Noticing my silence, Eleanor intervened, "Y-yes that's true, but you shouldn't had put it that way, have some tact. Maotelus wanted to save her."
She groaned a bit, "Now no one, not even future shepherd can had a pact with them. They're connected with Maotelus and nature doing god things, they will not bother anymore. Oh, and I mentioned Maotelus is literally the malak Velvet raised? What a coincidence!"
"But Phi is still his own person, he decided for himself this new life, he growth and choose by himself," I finally talked, with my hard tone.
"Oh? So you defended him without bothering in defending yourself, I understand then. Don't worry." She grinned at her words, as she could felt how were making me anxious, almost my hands trembling.
"Velvet..." Eleanor caressed my shoulder, making me look at her slightly surprised, without changing my expression. Thought she didn't flinched at my fiery gaze this time. Not finding what more to tell me she kept herself silent.
Magilou exhaled hard catching our attention once again, "alright, alright sorry for ruining breakfast. I just have too many things in mind" she excused herself, "I'm just thinking, what would be of us if Velvet actually managed to seal Innominat in her endless eating each other idea."
Eleanor put a finger on her chin, "I don't know, maybe I would be accompanying Medissa and Kamoana, helping them with their new home." She guessed, then looked at the window, "Rokurou and Eizen wouldn't be so different, but in other hand... Maotelus." She lowered her gaze.
"Phi would be fine, he is strong, more stronger than me," I formed a smile, "I'm sure he could handle it"
Magilou giggled, "I doubt it, but we'll never know for sure!" She dramatically emphasized the last part, "Is like trying to guess your story with too many alternatives."
"Alternatives? How exactly?"
"Like imagine if instead of being just you, a man was at your side the day of the advent, then joined us in our journey," she put both hands over the table and kept talking with enthusiasm, "A boy from another world who felt lonely and feel a strong connection with you, or a Shepherd from the far continent burden by his mistakes finds a new home at your side, capable of giving a second chance to both his soul and you!" She raised a fist as her tone became dramatic, "they both so different, but still so strong and confident to fight against destiny, and your stubbornness to protect you from your dark fate, and putting their life as long they can be with you, how romantic," despite the last words, she was indifferent in that last part.
Eleanor was shocked at her imagination, "That's... really too different."
"Why you assume anyone who would fall in love with me is a masochists?"
"Because I doubt a normal person would be so willing to keep following you when you were so ruthless and bloodthirsty to kill and devour anything, unless they don't mind being eaten by you."
"That sounds more like crazy guys than actual normal, whatever you tried to mean..." I put a hand over my forehead.
"Yeah anyway, I just thought whoever loves you, should be someone strong and confident to believe in you, despite everything you did, and still feel the same despite who you become." She made a wicked smile, "Just look a our boy Laphicet."
"You have a point... as crazier it sounds, I can see what you mean..." somehow unsure, Eleanor was thoughtful.
Very annoyed, I groaned almost hitting the table, "Enough of this crazy what if situations, I had enough with Phi's stupid decision of giving me a second chance!" They all looked me surprised as I shouted, even Bienfu, "I don't need to believe how different my life could have been with a little detour in my past or in our journey! My life is mine, I decide what I believed was right, even with the sins I provoked almost destroying our world, or the people I devoured without compassion. I don't need external sympathy that could alter my fate, as much I hate that word. I will just embrace the present I created, the one where I was the lord of calamity, not a fake reality where I could be happier ignoring everything I done..." I lowered my face, pressing both my fists and teeth, "If I really deserve happiness... I want to be able to create it myself, not matter how longer it takes, not matter If it never comes... as long I tried..." My body started to tremble, picturing in my mind the situations Magilou described, "Of course...I would had liked If someone else was at my side accepting who I am, but that never happened in this reality. I only had Phi, and even I treated him like a tool, food or almost lost the possibility to embrace him with my hands..." I put my arms over the edge of the table, hiding my face behind my bangs, "No one would fall in love with me... ever, stop thinking those nonsense please, even before being a therion, I just pushed away everyone... I'm a failure of human being..."
They kept themselves silent as I just ranted, sobbing without releasing tears. I had enough with others so willing to help me, enough of thinking if my life could had avoided this path, or If I could had actually succeeded my sacrifice and who knows were I should ended. My mind was just lost trying to endure a lot in what was the right decision.
The voice in my head, and myself kept saying I'm the worts life has to offer, in other hand, Phi, Eleanor, and others to some extent wants me to believe I was the hope this world needed... even the Seraphim in the heavenly steps, and the Harbinger of the End believed that...
Just which Velvet Crowe, is the real Velvet Crowe? The girl who lost everything? The Lord of Calamity? The one who saved the world that took everything from her? Maybe all of them, or she actually died when she became a monster?
How I can believe something, if I don't even can trust my own actions, aware of the disaster I caused, why I should be forgiven..?
"Does even... me being alive has worth?"
"It does..." I gasped hearing Eleanor, but I just pressed my fist, "and I will keep saying it as long you don't believe it!" It was her formal, harsh tone of voice, but she wasn't being threatening as those time we needed to fight against each other.
Magilou giggled, "The worth of a life depends of the person, why did you think Maotelus wanted to save you, Why Eleanor supports you? Why... shoot never mind, you get my point." She shrugged as I lifted my head to look at her avoiding my gaze, then I watched Eleanor, whose green eyes were directed at my doubts, wanting to put them away.
Placing my bandage hand over my chest, my lips draw a little smile, "I... thanks, you shouldn't had too, but I appreciate it."
"You're my friend, of course I will!"
A bit shocked, I decided to tease her, "Friend? After all those lines about me being dangerous and a daemon who just kill?"
She sweated at the memory, but sighed in relief, "Yes even after that, you changed so much since then... I can even tell you, that I trust you with my life, so let's do our best in this next journey, for Maotelus, and us!" She made an Innocent smile, showing her teeth. As she opened her arms.
I flinched at her words, having trouble to respond, "That much?! But I- Ah I used too--, I'm dange--"
Eleanor narrowed her eyebrows and without a word, proceeded to hug me. I stayed idle, thinking what I should do. Her embrace was warm, and I felt her words were indeed true. Still, I hesitate, thinking back about Niko, how her friendship was so important to me, and yet, "I killed her..." I muttered to myself, pressing my fist, Eleanor will not face that same ending. So Instead of respond with a hug, I patted her back as I felt my cheeks blushing.
"So even with that affection, you still have some barriers?" Magilou shrugged, "Whatever then, you're really complicated, Velvet."
"It's fine, is a nice step!" Eleanor said as she separated from me, looking at my eyes content.
I put one of my hair traits behind my ear, feeling better as I sighed again, "Well, let's just finish eating please..."
"Alright, Ma'am!" Eleanor teased almost surprising me but I let it pass, just rolling my eyes.
"What about-- GWASMSHSG!!!" Magilou yelled as I hit her head with my transformed therion arm, enough to just be like a normal punch.
"Shut up and just eat, Magilou, or else..." I caressed her hair with my claws, actually making her express a bit of fear.
"Aye..."
Satisfied, I reverted my arm with a smile and continued eating despite not tasting anything, though more content with the fact that we were in this together despite our differences, and my doubts.
Eleanor just giggled saying anything else. Bienfu just looked at my arm terrified, then at me despite my warm smile he was still silent.
This team really succeeded in drives me mad, and I didn't mind they're company. Whatever the future awaits us helping in spread Maotelus blessing, I could only beg in my mind...
"Please, I want them to be safe, even if it's from me..."
~To be continue
Author notes:
Happy new year and thanks for reading this far!
Aside the nightmare, this was a more calm and chatting chapter, wanting to send off Rokurou and Eizen as best I could. Focus this time in the friendship of the three girls.
I guess the reference in what Magilou said about alternatives were easy to catch If some of you read them! The second one was really amazing and one of the best fanfics I read. And what Velvet said she doesn't mean those options are bad, more like she doesn't like the thought of altering her past willingly, more after accepting her fate was impossible to avoid. She actually said something along that lines in the game.