"Weiss." Slowly spinning in a circle, finding an iron cage penning them in on all sides, Yang scoffed. "You pick the worst times to be right."
"Not an ideal situation..." Blake muttered while fruitlessly tugging at one of the thick metal bars.
"We've been in worse!"
As usual, the predicament didn't phase Ruby. And she was right - they'd survived worse than being stuck in a cage in the middle of a hall of some creepy laboratory staffed by scientists who had no qualms experimenting on zombies and/or probably people.
Actually, maybe they should be a little worried.
After tapping the barrel of her shotgun against one of the bars, Yang looked at Blake. "Shotgun versus metal - who wins?"
"Not common sense," Weiss butted in, pushing the barrel down and giving Yang an expression normally reserved for toddlers. "Put that away before you hurt yourself."
"You're concerned for my well-being?" Yang joked, lowering the weapon regardless. "Did you get replaced by a clone when we walked in here?"
"I assure you that my clone will dislike you just as much as me," Weiss snapped, and added a hair flip before returning to Ruby's side.
"Think she actually has a clone?" Yang whispered to Blake, who shrugged.
"She was rich, right?"
"Basically the richest person in the world," Yang answered before narrowing her eyes and watching Weiss inspect where the bars met the ceiling. "Maybe this is the clone..."
"Maybe we can slip through?" Ruby suggested before Yang's thoughts went too far down that rabbit hole.
After trying to squeeze through the narrow bars, Ruby gave up and pulled at them as if she could bend them outward. When that didn't work either, she pondered the situation for a second before digging in her pocket and fishing out a utility knife with a small file attachment. "We can saw our way out! I've seen it in movies!"
That sounded like a good way to become dusty skeletons trapped in a cage, but Yang was the last one to rain on Ruby's parade. "Great idea!" she said instead, high-fiving Ruby before gesturing over her shoulder. "While you do that, we'll try to find another way out."
Ruby gave an enthusiastic thumbs up before setting about her work, but Yang turned back to Weiss and Blake and shook her head. "Either of you have a plan that doesn't take five years?"
Weiss opened her mouth to respond (because Weiss always had a response), but a flash of movement caught their attention. In unison, they raised their weapons and spun towards the disturbance - which was, in and of itself, incredibly disturbing.
In the room beside them, a monitor had flickered to life.
"What the…" Yang muttered while edging closer to read what it said. Three words stood out in blocky-white font on the black background: WELCOME TO HELL
As soon as Weiss read the screen, she scoffed.
"'Welcome to hell?'" Blake read aloud before shaking her head. "Whoever this is, they have Yang's flair for the dramatic."
Yang opened her mouth but was cut off by another air horn blared through the hallway, making them wince and cover their ears. Once the sound ended, she dropped her hands and sighed in relief.
She sighed too soon though, because the sound hardly escaped her lips before the double doors at the end of the hall opened. Under ordinary circumstances, that would be a positive sign. But these weren't ordinary circumstances.
Those doors had been holding back a horde of zombies. A horde of zombies that immediately lumbered forward in search of food. Food that was, conveniently, trapped in the hall in front of them.
"I need to meet this person," Yang concluded when the trap's genius revealed itself. "We'd be awesome friends."
"Apparently, they think through their plans as much as you do," Weiss retorted. When the first zombie reached through the bars - its gross, gray fingers grasping towards her - she calmly stepped out of its reach.
Weiss was wrong (because Weiss was always wrong), but she was right that this person hadn't thought through this diabolical plan. They couldn't get out of the cage, but the zombies also couldn't get in. The creatures stood just outside, desperately waving their rotten limbs back and forth while moaning at the thought of food. With flailing arms still several feet away, Yang and her companions only needed to step back to escape not-so-imminent doom.
"They'll lift the bars?" Ruby asked while putting away her file and picking up her rifle, a better decision given the circumstances.
"If they're smart, they'll let zombies through the back too," Yang suggested. "Then lift the cage - that way we're surrounded."
Another sound caught her attention then: low moans of hunger combined with clumsy thumps of limbs not working properly. Looking behind them, she discovered a stream of zombies stumbling down the staircase.
"I really need to meet this person," she muttered, watching the Z's fall over each other and crash down the stairs before righting themselves and lumbering over.
"Zombies first; best friends second?" Blake suggested, so Yang shrugged.
"Guess I can wait. So, how're we getting out of here? Ruby's escape route?" When Yang teasingly poked Ruby's side, Ruby slammed the butt of her rifle into one of the bars and knocked out a two-foot section. Yang's smile instantly disappeared.
"You sawed through that in like two minutes?" she asked, but Ruby just shrugged.
"I'm fast! But not fast enough to make a people-sized opening before those things get here."
"The answer's obvious, isn't it?" Weiss interrupted, gaining their attention and then pointing at the ceiling. Looking up, Yang grinned at the cheap, easily removable ceiling tiles.
"'K, Ruby up first!" Kneeling on the floor, she clasped both hands together and waited.
"I love crawling through ceilings!" Without a second thought, Ruby placed a boot in Yang's hands and let Yang boost her towards the ceiling. Expertly shoving one of the tiles out of the way, she hauled herself into the crawl space before turning around and offering a hand to whoever was next.
"Weiss," Yang offered, still holding her hands near the floor.
"How is it that your greatest use is being somewhat strong?" Weiss asked. The question must have been rhetorical because she put her foot in Yang's hands and reached up for Ruby's outstretched arms. One quick boost later, she joined Ruby in the ceiling.
"Saved the most beautiful for last," Yang said, again putting her hands near the floor while Blake walked over.
"Hurry, Yang. I don't want you stuck in 'hell.'"
Laughing at the thought of someone so heroic getting stuck anywhere, Yang boosted Blake up to the ceiling and watched her clamber to safety. Three down - awesome to go.
"Come on." Blake reached down with one arm while Weiss offered another, and Yang spared one last glance for the zombies before grabbing ahold of their hands. Together, the two of them pulled her far enough off the floor that she could grab onto the ceiling. With her feet still dangling dangerously close to the ground, she heard the bars lift and felt several surprisingly strong hands grab her ankles while she dragged herself upward.
Zombies crowded the space where they just were, looking up and moaning as their meal escaped. Well, they hadn't escaped yet, but they were out of harm's way for another minute or so.
"Wish I had a grenade," Yang joked, miming pulling the pin and dropping a grenade on the swarm beneath them. "That'd be quite the show."
"Guys!" Ruby called out in a hushed whisper from up ahead. "I think we can get out this way!"
Glancing at the zombies, who were now clambering over each other in an attempt to reach the ceiling (i.e. climbing), Yang gently pushed Weiss and Blake away from the opening and slid the ceiling tile back in place.
"Yeah, let's get outta here."
On hands and knees, the four of them crawled through the narrow space, taking extra care not to make too much noise. Ruby took the lead as the fastest crawler amongst them. Weiss was behind Ruby, unwilling to let Ruby get too far away. Blake trailed Weiss, and Yang brought up the rear.
"I hope these are stable…" Weiss whispered from up ahead, referring to the thin pieces of ceiling tile separating them from almost-certain death below.
"They'll hold," Blake whispered back. Where she got her confidence, Yang didn't know. The ceiling hadn't been built to support four people at once, and she felt an alarming amount of give every time she put down a hand or knee. No big deal, but if the ceiling collapsed, the four of them would drop into the arms of about a hundred hungry, undead monsters.
Prepared with a joke to relieve the tension, Yang looked up and instantly blushed when she discovered that she had a fantastic view of...well...of Blake's butt. Seriously, Blake's butt never stopped working. Even now, hurrying through the ceiling above some hungry Z's, she was putting the full-court press on Yang's already-smitten heart.
"Have I mentioned how much I love when we crawl through these places?" Yang whispered, unable to tear her eyes from the view. Which, of course, meant she was caught staring when Blake glanced over her shoulder and promptly smirked.
"I completely agree," Weiss whispered from further ahead, making Yang narrow her eyes.
"Ruby, are you wearing a skirt today?"
"It's a combat skirt!" Ruby whispered back, but Yang shook her head.
"Weiss, you're such a perv."
"Like you'd do any differently."
Yang wanted to argue, but Blake turned around again.
"Should I wear a skirt?" she asked, winking for good measure.
Imagining Blake in a skirt was just about enough to give Yang a nosebleed. Thankfully, zombies weren't attracted to blood or pheromones (At least, not that they knew of...but what did they know?).
"Uhhh, I mean...if you want to? I definitely wouldn't mind."
"Makes it a little more dangerous to go commando, doesn't it?"
Yang's eyes widened at that comment. When she opened her mouth to ask for clarification, however, Ruby cut her off.
"We can drop down here," she called out. "Looks like an empty room, and there's another staircase." After pulling one of the ceiling tiles out of place, Ruby stuck her head and shoulders through the opening before giving them a thumbs up. Next, she spun around, held onto the ledge, and dropped down. Weiss went next, and Blake gave Yang a sexy smile before slipping easily from the ceiling.
"Saving the best for last..." Yang mumbled to herself while crawling the last few feet and turning around so she could hold onto the thin piece of metal supporting the ceiling tiles. As soon as her full weight hung from the ceiling, however, she felt it. 'It' being the sinking sensation of a piece of metal pulling free.
Fortunately, she didn't have that far to fall. Unfortunately, she landed right on her back, knocking the breath right out of her. Even more unfortunately, the metal basically screamed as it tore free. Several loud crashes followed as ceiling panels dislodged and hit every possible surface on the way down.
Yang was still lying on the floor, covered in ceiling dust and debris, when Blake pulled her to her feet.
"We need to go."
There was no time to argue - not that Yang would have argued when she heard nearby undead stirring to life. Ruby reached the door first, pulled it open, stuck her head outside, and raced to the left. Weiss, Blake, and Yang were right on her heels, following her down a short section of hallway before reaching a second staircase. Yang risked a glance in the other direction as she ran, and her effort was rewarded with a chilling view of way too many zombies packed into one tiny hallway.
"Shit."
"Good job, Yang!" Weiss found time to yell while racing upstairs. "Maybe you shouldn't have had that second cookie yesterday."
"Very - funny -" Yang huffed while taking the steps two at a time. "Not my fault - I have more - assets than you."
Another thick metal door, like the one they used to enter this hellhole, stood at the top of the stairs. Ruby pushed it open and disappeared through the doorway. Weiss and Blake quickly followed, but Yang was the genius who glanced over her shoulder again.
The zombies were climbing the bottom of the stairs now, stumbling over each other, falling, and crawling in that surreal, creepy way they had, but the door would trap them down there for good. After racing through, Yang slammed it shut and turned around with a confident "ha!" that cut off the instant she saw what everyone else was staring at.
They'd reached another large room filled with desks and lab equipment and destruction. Yang had a slight issue with this room though, seeing as how it was filled with lab-coated zombies. Uniformed zombies were way worse than regular zombies. Something about their coordinated outfits made them so much creepier.
"You've gotta be shitting me..." she muttered under her breath, searching for a quick exit and finding none. The menacing lab zombies somehow hadn't noticed them yet, too busy staring slack-jawed at random fixations, but they probably would when -
THUD
Their pursuers reached the door and, in typical zombie fashion, slammed against it. The noise sent an invisible shockwave through the ex-scientists, who snapped out of their dazes and slowly turned towards the door. Lifeless eyes locked onto fresh meat, and those gaping, insatiable mouths emitted the world's most chilling version of a dinner bell.
"Looks like we're shooting our way out..." Blake mumbled while releasing the safety on her submachine gun and holding it near her shoulder in a stance hot enough for any movie poster. Weiss sighed and pulled out her ridiculously fancy automatic pistols.
"For the record," she said, sending Yang an unamused look. "I blame you for this."
"You're the one who wanted to check this place out!" Yang protested. When Weiss rolled her eyes, Yang shook her head and bumped Ruby's shoulder, the youngest of them also the calmest with lab zombies ambling their way. "Ready?" she asked, earning a big grin in return.
"The family that slays together, stays together!" Ruby replied before raising her rifle and squeezing the trigger.
One bullet, one zombie dropped where it once stood.
From there, the four of them moved as a well-coordinated group towards a patch of daylight up ahead. Ruby and Yang took point, with Ruby on the left side and Yang the right, while Weiss and Blake mopped up any stragglers approaching from behind.
A steady pop pop pop rang out as Ruby downed zombie after zombie, while Yang aimed at the nearest one and squeezed the trigger. The shotgun jolted in her hands as the pellets removed the zombie's head and replaced it with - well, it wasn't replaced with anything as the lifeless corpse fell to the floor.
More zombies stumbled through the doors up ahead, invited to the party by the abundant noise. With so many desks cluttering the room, however, their escape route looked more like a Mrs. Pacman game than a direct 'get the hell out of here' - left at the desk, right at the next desk, left, right, left, right. More shots rang out as Blake and Weiss joined in on the fun, picking off the ghouls encroaching from the sides.
"This is the back of the building!" Ruby shouted when they neared the exit - another set of double doors that used to feature glass but now featured nothing but air.
Ravenous Zs crowded the doorway, shoving past each other and stumbling into the building like shoppers hoping to score an incredible deal. The mass of single-minded monsters grew so thick that Yang didn't even need to aim; she just fired in the general direction of 'somewhere in front of her' and the corresponding blast tore through the wall of zombies, spraying body parts and fragments of old clothing everywhere.
She'd just emptied the gun in her hands when a sliver of an opening presented itself. "Go!" she shouted as soon as she spotted it, swinging the shotgun onto her back and grabbing her second while sprinting forward. Her companions were right behind her - by now, they were all trained to run as soon as they saw daylight.
Leaping through the doorway, she searched for a way back to a truck while a hideously broken hand grabbed at her hair. She quickly dodged the grey-tinted fingers and slammed the butt of her gun into the zombie's face, knocking it to the ground. Before she could raise her gun though, Blake finished the job with one bullet, jumped over the dead zombie, and sent Yang a look. Without a word, the two of them tore after Ruby and Weiss, who hopefully knew where they were going.
They'd escaped using the rear entrance, meaning they had to run all the way around the building to make it back to the truck. And, because the tiny lab was sandwiched between those two giant manufacturing plants, their path was nothing more than a narrow alley hemmed in by brick on both sides.
"Yang!" Blake shouted before pointing at the roof. Looking up, Yang saw exactly what she didn't want to see - zombies on the rooftop.
"Look out below!" she yelled at Ruby and Weiss, who glanced up before lowering their weapons and prioritizing running. A decent idea since it was about to rain zombies.
"The fire escapes -"
Blake shoved Yang under one of the fire escapes right as a zombie hit the ground where they just were. The sound it made on impact was...disgusting...but Yang ignored it while they raced from fire escape to fire escape, using the metal platforms as temporary umbrellas.
Loud, reverberating clangs hit the metal above them as they sprinted towards the end of the alley. Bodies fell everywhere, sometimes right past Yang's shoulder, but she didn't bother to check who won the battle between soft, decomposing flesh and unrelenting concrete. She was just going to assume from the sounds that they weren't getting up anytime soon.
Up ahead, Ruby and Weiss made it to the end of the alley, raised their weapons, and cleared the way to their vehicle. Ducking under the last fire escape, hearing several more loud clanging sounds up above, Yang and Blake raced to the exit and found a trail of dead zombies leading to the truck. And, from every conceivable direction, including up, were more zombies coming to join the fun.
Grabbing the key from around her neck, Yang unlocked the doors right before Ruby and Weiss made it to Xander. She and Blake were seconds behind - the four of them quickly regrouping and knowing exactly what to do next: get the hell out of there.
"Move!" she shouted while yanking open the driver-side door.
Tossing her shotgun in front of her, she jumped into the cabin and started the engine in one fluid motion. One, two, three, four doors slammed before she threw the vehicle in reverse, swerved into a controlled spin, and floored it away from the building. There wasn't a clear path, but she chose the street with the fewest zombies and plowed through them, throwing bodies everywhere before reaching slightly-more-open road beyond. Only when they made it onto the freeway, and the sound of zombies had faded from her ears, did she speak.
"Well, that was fun."
"Yang, that was a trap," Blake replied.
"I know, but we're alive!"
"Zombies can't set traps," Weiss pointed out from the backseat. "A human set that up - trying to lure in survivors."
"Trying to kill survivors," Blake corrected.
"Or trying to test our skills," Ruby suggested. As always, she was 'glass half full' while the negative Nancies assumed the apocalypse was an entirely bad thing.
"You know what this sounds like?" Yang asked before grinning at the loud sigh from the backseat. "This sounds like a job for Super Zombie Slayers!" she said anyway. "Come on - someone's out there trying to kill survivors? Who's going to stop them?"
"You just want to meet them."
"That too. But we'd be doing a good deed! Helping out humanity - what's left of it, at least."
Weiss sighed again, but Blake nodded - always on board with Yang's brilliant ideas.
"Then what do we do next?"
Yang didn't have an answer to that yet. How could they find this person? She didn't even understand how they got themselves in this mess to begin with. All they did was check out a medical truck on the side of the road.
"We can find another trap and search for clues!" Ruby suggested, as usual having the best and most exciting answers.
"Awesome idea." After smiling at Ruby in the rearview mirror, Yang drove towards the outer reaches of the city so they could regroup. "Where do we find another trap though?"
"I found another flyer." Ruby pulled a crumpled paper from her pocket and waved it for them to see. "Grabbed it off the door on our way out."
"...how?"
Yang had been far more focused on the wave of zombies than checking out random pieces of paper…and she knew Ruby was still shooting things at that time...so how did she also have time to grab another flier?
"Let me see that." While Weiss studied the paper, Yang glanced in the rearview mirror. "This is Schnee Industrial's letterhead," Weiss mused, her brow furrowing. "How could this be printed on our letterhead? Someone took it from the building?"
"Looks like we have our next destination," Yang called out, swerving around the corner and flooring it down the street. "Next up - Weiss' mother ship."
"That makes it sound like the building owns me when it's actually the other way around."
Yang pressed play on the awesome CD Ruby snagged yesterday and spun the dial until metal music drowned out the rest of Weiss' argument. Their first mission hadn't gone as planned, but now they had a second, even bigger, even more important mission.
But they didn't have to listen to Weiss the entire way there.