Prompt #28 by asnackforalways: "A fic based on The Newsroom's Mac&Will proposal. Harvey had a ring ever since TOT where they had a relationship for a few weeks, but broke up (writer's choice) Donna still stayed as his secretary. Whether everything stayed the same after that is to the author. But during 8x16, when Harvey had his epiphany, instead of running after Donna to her apartment, he looked for her at the firm."Where's Donna?""Has anyone seen Donna?" "I'm here." After she says that, Harvey will follow her to her office and say that she's the love of his life and that he can't be him without her and he asks her to marry him"
As we all know, after Harvey resigns the DA's office, Donna and him no longer work together. Which led to Harvey knocking on Donna's door, and dot, dot, dot…
As usual Jessica gave Harvey the job at the firm. He then asks Donna to meet him at a Cafe.
"So, what was so important that you just had to see me?"
"I don't know how to say it, so I'm just gonna come out and say it. But… I don't wanna lose you. Come work for me."
"What?"
"Don't go to Skadden. I took a job at my old firm," he said, almost cheering. Donna looked down, trying to hide the disappointment on her face from the fact that she was expecting something else to be that important. "I was hoping you'd be happy."
"W- I am," she lied, using her best acting work yet. "I'm just weighing your proposal with my policy."
"What? No. You have to make an exception, Donna." Harvey wanted her to make an exception Donna wasn't expecting.
"What makes you think I would?" She frowned, smiling.
"Because… I don't wanna find out what kind of lawyer I'd be without you." The smirk on his face made Donna question why she was even considering giving in.
She sighed, knowing already what kind of sacrifice she would have to do in order to continue to work for him. "I'll come work for you."
"I sense a 'but' that I'm not sure I want to hear," Harvey complained, making Donna raise her eyebrows as well as one of her hands, flat palm.
"We have to put it out of our minds," she finally said, taking the serious tone back to the conversation. "And we never mention it again. A one-time thing, we can't let that happen again if we want to keep working together. I know it, you know it, we both know this. So, that's my 'but'." When she realized, Harvey had his face all frowned, "What? Harvey, it was actually pretty good, but there's no way we can be each other's butt call and work together as well. Or do you want to take me to dinner or something?" She chuckled, waiting to hear his laugh as well, but there was none.
"Yes, in fact, I'd very much like to take you to dinner," he admitted. There the surprise was, the exception he wanted was not to work together even though they've done it, but to work together while doing it. But Donna didn't even flinch, he couldn't be serious. Instead, she leaned closer to him and reached his forehead with her hand. Harvey didn't move, but his face got all frowned yet again, "What are you doing?"
"I thought you had a fever," she mocked him, sitting back. She quickly hid her teasing smile behind the cup of coffee that was in front of her.
"Oh, stop it. Donna, look at me," he called, and Donna tilted her head in response. "I will understand if you don't want to, but would you like to have dinner with me?" Her stupid heart skipped a beat because she felt Harvey was honestly asking her out.
She gulped, calming her thoughts, and analyzing his face. She couldn't give in to that, there was no way of knowing if he was taking a long shot for real or if he was just thinking with his little downstairs head.
Donna, then, straightened her eyes and sighed, "No."
"What?!" he watched as she calmly sipped her coffee.
"You said you'd understand."
"I never thought you'd say no," his expression was pure skepticism.
"You think you're so irresistible, don't you, Harvey?" Donna said, getting up and walking towards the showcase to choose a sweet bite to calm her agitated nerves.
Harvey didn't think twice before following her, "Well… Yeah?!" He whispered close to her.
"Well, I am sorry to inform you that you're gonna have to make a decision," she said, not taking her eyes out of the donuts and croissants and little pies. "You wanna take me on a date? Fine, I'll be going to Skadden anyway. But" she then turned back to him and lowered her tone a bit, showing him how serious she was, "if you want me by your side, working for you, fighting with you, you're gonna have to lay down your guns."
Harvey took a second, shaking his head. Their bodies were so close that their hands were scraping each other.
Donna turned back to the counter, "Hi. I'd like two chocolate donuts, please."
"I don't understand why I can't have both," he finally said, getting her attention again. When she pivoted towards his body, he couldn't help but glance rapidly at her lips.
Right then, when she caught him looking at her that way, Donna knew that working with him was gonna be close to insufferable if they didn't simply turn off the teasing, and the remarks, and the smirks. "Hm… Yeah, no, you can't. Having both just gets complicated."
"How would we know if we don't even try?" he asked while she grabbed the package from the barista and walked back to their table with him right along.
"Have you taken a minute to think about the possibility of us fighting about something personally or something at work?" She pointed out, making Harvey silent. She loved that power.
He shrugged, looking away, "I guess you're right."
"Oh, you guess I'm right? Harvey, when are you gonna learn that I'm Donna. I know everything." She put a piece of the donut on her mouth, giving him her superior, yet appealing look.
"Well, that won't make me give up." He said, grabbing the donut from her hand.
Donn rolled her eyes, not even hiding the pain in the ass he was, "Oh, my God, you are such a lawyer. Just take the defeat."
"I would never," he replied teasingly, with a disgusted expression.
"If you annoy me, I'll quit the job!" Donna threatened, pointing a piece of donut to his face.
"No, you won't," he automatically shrugged, sure of himself.
"Yes, I will."
"Not with this signing bonus, you won't," he smiled, shaking an envelope he just took out of the inside pocket of his suit.
"How do you know that's enough to keep me?" she raised her eyebrows, not sure if she should play with fire like that.
"Because you're the one who's gonna fill in the amount."
Donna couldn't hold a laugh, "Oh, my God. You really do need me… to stop you from doing shit like this!"
"Oh, well…" Harvey shrugged, pulling the envelope towards him, but she stopped him.
"In the future…"
"So, it's a yes?" he didn't want to leave with half an answer.
Donna stared at him for a little while, she pondered the outcomes of the yeses and nos, already knowing, deep down, the answer was a "Yes, okay."
"Perfect. I gotta go meet some people, but I'll talk to you soon." Harvey got up, leaving a 20 dollar bill on the table, "My treat." He winked and left. Just like that. Not giving Donna even the chance for a sassy comeback.
But sincerely? There was nothing on her mind. When his face was out of sight, she let herself smile while sipping her coffee. But at the moment she caught herself smiling, she frowned.
"What's wrong with you?! It's a professional relationship, desperate woman." She stated out loud to quiet her own mind and riding on her insanity, she grabbed the leftover donut and paid the bill at the cashier before leaving.
Their first few seconds at the firm everybody watched, I don't need to tell you how juicy they looked together. Harvey and his Girl Friday.
Right after that moment, they walked away towards the associates work-stations and Harvey offered his hand for Donna to high five it, stealthy.
She smirked at him, high fiving his hand, "Don't get too cocky, Harvey, cloud nine is way too high."
He scoffed, like he was completely unbeatable, "This is my basement, Donna. Jessica herself asked me to work with her, nothing will stop us."
When they walked into the bullpen, all the other associates simply stopped what they were doing to watch Harvey and Donna walk through. She smiled all the way to the end cubicle on the right, enjoying the attention as if she was wearing a Valentino dress and Manolo Blahnik scarpins. One day, she wished more than she thought, one day.
They finally stopped and Harvey glanced at their workspace, "What do you think?"
"It's great," she nodded, analyzing the space as well.
"But…? There's a but, isn't there?" He read her, his hands in his pockets.
"It's not a but," Donna explained, charismatic.
"Just say it," he said, moving his hand to the desk's direction. She sighed.
"I'll need a small table that fits right there," she pointed to the corner. "Also, we need another office phone to stay at my desk and… Are you going to use this junk of a computer?"
"Hell no. I'll bring my Mac."
"I figured, so this…." Donna leaned closer to the computer, "will also go to my desk. I am now fully in charge of your calendar, which is how I know you have a meeting with Jessica in 5," she said, scrolling through his work email, already logged in and with 120 e-mails on his inbox, even though he hadn't even had 30 seconds of real work.
"Have I said you're amazing?"
"Not enough times, no," she glanced at him and caught his smiling face. She smiled right back.
"Would you-"
"Yes, I'll grab you some coffee," she interrupted, completing his request.
"Thanks, Donna."
"Sure. Now, go!" He nodded and left.
In the two hours Harvey stayed with Jessica doing whatever the hell they were doing, Donna got the peace and quiet to organize everything and buy the things that were missing. The coffee Harvey had asked was bought by her but delivered by some poor intern who desperately needed a task that day.
When he got back, Donna was already fully in secretary mode. Reading emails, writing down appointments. She had a ton of post its scattered around her desk. Yes, she already had a table!
"Hey, Girl Friday," he said, getting her attention.
"Hm, no. Don't say that" Donna shook her head without even looking at him.
"No? Not cool?" He checked, sitting down at his own chair.
"No. I can do it, you cannot," he could see she was focused.
"Okay," he gulped, needing to speak to her, but not wanting to get in her way.
Donna suddenly stopped what she was doing and looked right into his eyes, "What is it, Harvey?"
"I need some help."
"I figured. What do you need?" She asked, pulling a piece of paper, getting ready to write down whatever it was he needed.
"Jessica assigned me to four of her cases and I need to be ready to talk about them till the end of the week," he started explaining.
"Okay..."
"I need to find the files first," he fake smiled, handing her a piece of paper of his own, having the names of the files.
"I'll do that, of course," she said, nodding.
"Then, I kinda need your help to get familiar with them. You are better with faces and names, after all," Donna pretended she didn't see Harvey kissing her ass.
So, she followed up, "You're talking about work you were supposed to take home?"
"Yes, but I can't take it home."
Donna immediately looked up, frowning, "How come?" She shrugged.
"It's the office's policy to not let associates check out documents overnight," Harvey said in a cheap Jessica imitation. "So, we will have to stay here," he completed in his normal self.
"First day, first takeout?" Donna nodded to her own remark with an impressed face, "Fancy." Harvey rolled her eyes at her while she jumped out of her chair, "Alright, I'm gonna get us those files."
"Fine. I'll be making some calls," he pulled himself closer to the table, grabbing the phone.
"You? Making calls?" Donna turned back to him.
"Jessica's orders," Harvey murmured.
"Mm-kay," she said, having fun with his locked-in puppy dog expression.
"For the record," he lowered his tone of voice, "I can't wait to be a partner so I can tell you to make my calls."
"Yeah, yeah," she sarcastically agreed, walking away. "One day, big boy, one day."
The work took a few more hours than they had expected. Harvey didn't plan to stretch his first day by too long, but when the clock hit 9 p.m., Donna complained she was hungry.
"I'd rather have a cheeseburger and a beer," he said, contradicting her desire for a salad.
"Coming right in."
Donna ordered the food and took it upstairs when it arrived.
"We're gonna use Jessica's office," until that moment they were struggling with back pains in that small cubicle and only two chairs.
"What?" Donna stuck her neck out of the two packages of food in her arms.
"Yes. Come," he put a hand on her low back, leading her. Donna hugged the packages a bit harder, even mistepping a bit.
"Harvey, are you sure this is a good idea?" She asked, recomposing herself. That silly little touch couldn't have that effect on her. She wouldn't let it.
"No. But she owes me this for not letting me take the documents home," he snarled, opening the glass door and letting Donna in first.
She put the packages on the coffee table, next to the sofas Jessica had in her office. Harvey helped himself to the brown bag with 'cheeseburger' written on it and threw himself at the sofa. Donna opened her salad, and just when it was properly dressed, she took her heels off and sat down, putting her legs on the sofa as well.
They enjoyed a few moments of silence, just the sounds of traffic hitting their ears like a muffled and distant sound. Donna was analyzing Jessica's office as she wanted since the beginning of the day, every piece of decor, the paintings and the way her desk was impossibly organized.
Their very comfortable silence was broken by Harvey opening their beers, they shared the first sip after a "Cheers" and the click of the bottles.
"Hey, Harvey," Donna said after a while, still admiring Jessica's stuff.
"Yeah," he responded between sips.
"What do you think of having in your office when you get one? Like for decoration."
"Hm… Signed basketballs. And baseballs. Maybe a signed football by the star quarterback from when I get to watch a Super Bowl live. Just so everyone thinks I'm a celebrities' man," his answer was the most honest possible. Donna could see from the sparkle on his eyes just from imagining the thrill of sharing a conversation with a sport's star.
"Oh, my God, you're gonna need so much assistance," she chuckled, reaching for the bottle of beer.
"From you? Definitely. For life, whip cream girl," he said as bluntly as brushing his teeth. Donna gulped, trying not to choke with the beverage.
"How I suddenly am whip cream girl since you're the one who came up with the idea, huh?" The very second she finished that sentence she knew she had done wrong by engaging in that subject.
"Well, you did all the work…" There it was. The snappy, flirty, and nostalgic comeback. She had to leave. She had to get away from him because they were alone in an empty office and couldn't mess anything up.
Donna didn't reply. She just got up from the couch and reached for her heels, "Harvey, I should go…"
"No, wait. I'm sorry. I know we agreed not to talk about it."
"Relax, it's fine. I know it takes some time to… put it out of mind. But in these moments, it's best if we just leave each other's sights."
Harvey nodded, "Yeah, okay."
Donna gave him a last long glance, nodded, and headed out of the office.
Harvey watched her walk away almost frozen, he wanted to get up and stop her, but he also knew she was right and that she was trying to protect herself from hurting. He had to start remembering that. Donna had feelings too, she wasn't being selfish.
So, he let her go.
The next day Donna took the spare moments throughout her day to make copies of the whole file of the case she and Harvey were gonna go over that evening. Jessica could prohibit associates from taking the originals files out but couldn't stop a secretary from making copies.
And so, when his heavy lifting was done, even before the sunset, Harvey sat down in their cubicle and started to go through the files from the second case Jessica assigned him to.
"So, are we ordering Thai tonight?" He asked, catching her attention. Donna slid her chair next to him and threw three files on his desk. "What are these?"
"Indigo," she answered, mentioning the case he was already going through.
"There are more files?!" Harvey complained like an intern would and Donna rolled her eyes at him.
"No, dumbass. Donna's version," to that answer, Harvey opened the top file and realized the documents were copies. She'd found a loophole.
"I knew I befriended you for a reason," he complimented her, smiling.
"Yeah, so you say," she shook her hand sarcastically, dismissing him. "We're having my favorite Thai tonight. Your treat," she completed rolling herself back to her own desk.
Harvey watched her moves, shaking his head and having fun at Donna being good at her job at the new firm. There was no surprise in that, but he still was impressed.
About an hour later they were already sharing three dishes and sipping Cokes at Donna's favorite Thai place.
"Well, you do know you're gonna work with me for the rest of your life now, don't you?" Harvey had an empty bowl in front of him. He was waiting for her to finish so they could refill their bowls.
"Like I said the first night we met, I want to be an actress."
"Alright, and when will I be able to enjoy you performing?"
She frowned at the request, "Never…"
"Oh, c'mon, Donna!" If there was something he'd really like to do was get to know what made her so interesting and alive.
"You don't seem to me like the kind of guy who likes theater," she said, cleaning the sides of her mouth with a napkin.
"Okay. True. I'm a sports fan. But you have made more for me in this time we're working together than some of my family members… The least I can do is be there and support you." She heard the honesty in his tone of voice, and as always, started to consider giving in. He had that strange power over her.
"That's sweet of you."
"Well…? When?" Donna sighed, looking at his puppy dog expression of insistence.
"We're rehearsing for the musical 'Hello, Dolly!'. We're probably opening in three months," The information came out like a whisper. There was a part of her that wasn't sure if he was actually interested in knowing anything at all about her.
"Wait, you sing?"
"Well, I did land Irene Molloy, which is one of the main characters, so, yeah, I must sing a bit," she answered, not sounding very proud, but only because acting was her actual passion. The singing came as a bonus for her.
"Awesome. Lemme know when it opens," he said, serving more food to his bowl. "Do you want some more?"
"Yes, please," she brought her own bowl closer to Harvey so he could serve her as well.
They soon finished the meal talking about their childhood and weird pet names. Harvey asked for the check and Donna took the leftovers in a brown bag with the restaurant's name on it. Harvey especially adored knowing her nickname in elementary school was Pinky because the point of her nose would totally turn red when they had physical education.
New York wasn't exactly winter-y by then, but before leaving Harvey helped Donna throw her coat on her shoulders, while he kept his blazer with his left hand.
"My apartment is two blocks away. Shall we walk?"
"Sure," Harvey made way for her and motioned for her to lead them.
"Are you gonna need coffee to stay awake after this?" She caressed her own stomach, indicating they had eaten too much.
"Coffee only works in the morning. I function better with some wine or a good whiskey," she straightened her eyes, doubting that was true and trying to read if he only said that so they would get drunk together.
"Well, you do not pay me enough to buy you good whiskey. Cheap wine will have to do," Donna pointed to a liquor store ahead, already walking towards it.
Harvey followed her inside and walked behind her with his hands in his pockets just watching Donna look at the wines until she chose one.
"Okay. We're good," She grabbed two bottles of a 12 dollar wine, knowing the headache the next morning would be excruciating.
"12 dollar wine?" Harvey checked the cashier's screen. "Fucking hell," he chuckled also imagining the pounding there would be in his head by the morning.
"Gimme a raise then we can speak about the price of the wine," she teased him, handing the cashier the money. Harvey grabbed the bottles covered in brown bags and opened the door for them to head outside.
Right when they started walking towards Donna's apartment again, she reached for the keys inside her purse.
He stopped at the bottom of the steps while she had climbed up the steps, "You live this close to one of the top three Thai places I've ever been to and a liquor store and you're neither fat, nor an alcoholic?"
Donna burst into laughter, making Harvey smile looking at her. "C'mon, funny pants." She asked him to come inside, which he did, following her.
"So," Donna started while they waited for the elevator. "How's Indigo looking like so far?"
"Like a massive pain in the ass," he responded, sighing. Donna knew the cases involving criminal law could get Harvey very annoyed when he wasn't on the right side of things. Hence his resignation from the DA's office.
"Alright, and what do we need to know?" she asked, getting inside the elevator.
"We haven't had any hearings for this case yet, so we're still waiting on a date and while we do that, I'm guessing Jessica needs me to go through the files and find something revealing they may have found with these supposed corporate espionage allegations," Donna followed his explanation, knowing what she needed to look for when they opened the files.
"And what happens if we don't find anything?" she asked unlocking the door to her apartment.
"I'll have to check with Jessica if we can trust these clients. If we're able to, then I'll feel better to participate and argue this case and we're all good. But if we can't trust them…" he paused, putting the bottles on top of her counter. "I'll have to raise the possibility that they buried some specific documents before handing everything to us."
"What's our strategy if it gets to that point?" Donna had landed her purse at the dinner table, and she was now putting the leftovers away on the fridge.
"We'll just have to outsmart them somehow," Harvey shrugged, opening the wine bottle. "Look through emails to check if there are dates or a pattern of time of days missing, maybe. Check their phone calls and travel patterns." Harvey kept on listing a few things they could do while pouring wine on the glasses Donna held.
They brought the wine and the glasses to her coffee table and scattered the files all over it as well as on the couches. For a great part of an hour, they spent very concentrated cautiously going through the files and exchanging comments when they found something that might apply. Donna was using a yellow marker, while Harvey drew arrows with a blue pen. The documents looked like a script that was in desperate need of a rewrite.
When the first bottle dropped the last of its content, Harvey took a break to open the second one. Donna followed him to the kitchen and, again, held the glasses so he could serve them.
"Are we sure we need a second bottle?" She said as the pouring sound filled the glass.
"You were the one who bought it!" Harvey clarified, grabbing his own glass back and walking towards the couch again.
"I'm a Monica, Harvey, there's no way I would leave my guest wanting more wine…" Donna explained sitting down and making him smile.
"Fine, fine. Got it, let's wrap this up ASAP," he put the glass down and grabbed a few documents.
She chuckled, "No. It's fine! We'll stay as long as we have to."
"Well, maybe I'll crash on your couch for a few days," he teased her back.
Donna had a sweet expression on her face, Harvey noticed, while she checked what page she last went through to keep their work going.
"So, have you always lived in New York?" Harvey asked, striking up conversation not really wanting to wrap the work up and leave her company.
"I'm from Cortland, actually," she responded, sipping her wine. "And I've spent some time in Connecticut before moving here to this apartment." Donna wasn't sure what on Harvey that made her want to just blabber about her past. Trusting wasn't her forte, but not when it was Harvey. With her, he was as easy going as best friend and as appealing as a first love. She felt safe with him.
"Connecticut? Wow. How did you like it there?" Harvey didn't know it yet, but Connecticut was not even on the top 100 subjects Donna enjoyed talking about.
"Not very good memories, really," she sighed and sipped the wine. "I stayed there in my parents' apartment until I had my bachelor's degree."
"In Theater?" Harvey confirmed.
"Exactly," she snapped her fingers at him. "Then I decided to take my acting seriously by moving to where the show biz is," Donna opened her arms showing that she meant New York. "So, I got a part-time job as a waitress and rented a very shitty apartment in Brooklyn Heights, but it was what I could afford back then. I even picked up a few sentences in Spanish. Hola. Una botella de agua, por favor." Harvey raised his eyebrows with a laugh.
"Are you kidding me?" He leaned closer to the coffee table to land his glass.
"Nope. I just asked you for a bottle of water."
"Amazing!" Harvey watched as her laugh turned into a wide smile and that smile turned into a tender expression. He needed to leave to respect her policy. But there was not a single cell in his body that wanted to leave. And almost involuntarily, he leaned closer to Donna. Slowly, but certain that their lips would end up meeting each other at some point.
Donna inhaled all the oxygen available in the room. Her brain needed the boost to start working and send a goddamn order to her desires so they would SHUT THE FUCK UP.
"Would you like some?" Donna practically jumped out of the couch and away from Harvey.
"What?" Her sudden move popped the bubble they were inside for a few seconds.
"Water," she pointed to the kitchen.
"Sure, yeah," Harvey agreed and stared down at the carpet. She silently turned her back and walked towards the kitchen. The whole apartment had the 'I know what you did last summer' vibe. She knew he had to leave; he knew he had to leave. Neither of them wanted him to. No words, no wishes.
After what felt like infinite minutes, Harvey cleared his throat. "Please, do continue to tell me about your adventurous life." Donna sighed, sounding relieved.
"Well, as I got more and more known at the restaurant I worked at, people started to hear and tell my story, what I was doing in New York, and they started leaving pretty generous tips. That was around the time I moved here. And by then I was also working part-time as an actress. Before I met you, I barely had the money to pay the rent and have a drink on Friday. So, I guess thank you."
Harvey listened to her every word, but one specific part got to him: people fell for her in the little restaurant. "You fascinate everyone, don't you?" What was supposed to be a thought became a whisper, one that was very clear to her, that was back from the kitchen with a tray with two clean glasses and a jar of water.
"I do," she smiled and shrugged one shoulder. "I'm Donna, after all."
"I sure as hell know," his eyes were locked in hers once again. Donna felt admired and like she was naked under the moonlight. Her every body part was in flames but getting chills. There was no way back from the ladder they were climbing up, she knew.
I'll go, she thought, turning around, and breaking their gaze, ready to put her purse on the shoulder and walk away. Again. But when Donna looked around, she finally remembered that there was no way out of there. They were in her apartment. Her way out was the bedroom. Locking the door. Getting under the sheets.
Harvey accompanied her confused and long looks. He stood up, he knew it was time to go when she was the one who broke the silence that time, "You can stay, and sleep here if you want. I have a few blankets in there," She pointed to a white cabinet in the living room. "I'm… gonna go to bed. If you decide to leave instead, there's a key under the vase outside that you can use to lock the door from the outside." The whole bunch of information just came out of her mouth like a missile. She stopped moving both her feet and her eyes to take a second under his gaze. "Hm… good night, Harvey."
He gulped, thinking he was the one under her gaze. "Sleep tight, Donna."
Harvey saw her walking away yet again. He heard her steps until she got to a room and closed the door softly, kind of making sure not to slam it. His legs made him sit back down on her couch, which was the moment he realized his breathing was out of place. There was some sort of dryness to his mouth that wasn't known to him. But he couldn't move to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, he couldn't do anything.
What he seemed to be doing barely fine was organizing the files and all the unoriginal documents on her coffee table while thinking about her, thinking about the vivacious red from her wine-stained lips and her smell everywhere: the couch, the cushions, his glass, the air, really. It smelled like Donna.
When all the files were in their places, Harvey leaned his back on the couch and stared at the ceiling.
He wanted to walk through the corridor, to where she went, wondering if he should knock on her door, check to see if she felt the same way about their little moment just a few minutes ago.
He tried to mentalize her policy, tried to visualize Donna jumping away from his move, but when he came back to his mind, there he was already, a step away from the door she had just closed. He sighed, weighing what to do.
On the other side of the door, Donna was sitting on her bed with her knees close to her chest, a hand on her face, fumbling with her thoughts trying to understand what was that damn sparkle that they almost lit up in the living room with.
She had her eyes locked nowhere in particular; her body was motionless. It was only when she heard his footsteps on the corridor, that Donna practically crumpled herself with the sheets. Was he actually outside of her door? Would he knock, would he call her, would he just bust it open and run to her arms?
Her thoughts were absolutely not on the same page as her desires. Her rationale wanted her to be professional, but her whole electrified body said otherwise. And so, she quietly walked towards the door. She heard him sigh. She touched the door, knowing he was one step away.
"Donna?" his voice came out raspy and as a whisper. She heard it muffled as well, because of the door. He waited for a few seconds, and even though there was no verbal answer, he saw the doorknob slightly moving.
Donna held her breath involuntarily. It felt like she didn't know how to inhale and exhale properly. Especially when in a spasm her hand reached the doorknob, and she tightened the grip around the cold gold metal. She closed her eyes, assessing what to do, there was still some margin for her to back out of it.
That was when Harvey's voice hit her ears again, "Donna, tell me to leave."
She leaned the forehead on the door, shaking her head and chuckling, "That's easier said than done."
"You want this as much as I do, right?" Harvey questioned in a calm and almost funny tone, as if their situation was a massive irony.
Donna pushed herself away from the door, pretending she was looking into his eyes, "I never said I didn't."
There was a fatal silence after that. Harvey was sure she felt the same as he did, and Donna had an entire box of matches lit up inside her. Both bodies were covered in chills. He was the one who broke the insane angst, whispering, "Donna, please, open the door."
She felt like he was saying the words just by her ear. And she realized that was exactly what she wanted: Harvey near her. So, Donna gripped the doorknob and busted the door open. When their eyes connected, bells rang somewhere.
Harvey didn't have to say a word, he just grabbed Donna on his arms and pressed his lips against hers. She didn't want to let any fraction of a second slip from them, so she slid her fingers into his hair and moved her body even closer to his. Feeling her steady and eager moves, Harvey recklessly reached her lower back, lifted her body a few inches off the ground and took her to the bed. No awkward walks or feet stumble. Donna put her hands behind her to land on the already messed sheets and Harvey graciously put himself on top of her.
And took her soft and masterful lips into his again…
Like two teenagers awkwardly around each other after sex, Harvey and Donna were laying on her bed, side by side while staring at the ceiling and recovering their breath.
"I'm gonna take a shower," Donna broke their silent enchantment getting up from bed. She reached for a robe that was laid in the chair by her bedside so she could walk to the bathroom with no unnecessary pressure.
"Is it alright if I sleep without showering?" Harvey asked, snuggling a random pillow that was in the bed and the sheets that were covering him.
"First, no," she paused, hands on the robe's knot. "Ew," her face stuck in a scowl. "Second, it would be a step too far for you to sleep here," she said, walking towards her bathroom.
"What?!" Harvey jumped to a sitting position, "You invited me to sleep on your couch not two hours ago." He pointed to the direction of the living room, wrathful.
Donna stopped right before disappearing into the bathroom, "You can sleep on the couch if you want to, but not in bed with me."
"You're not making any sense right now," he was already getting a hold of his boxers and pants.
"I don't have to make sense to you, really," her echoed voice came from the bathroom. "Especially now."
Harvey stopped what he was doing, frowning, "What do you mean?"
"I mean… I'm resigning, quitting my job." The water started running, but Harvey didn't think twice. He got inside the bathroom as well.
"Why would you do that?"
"Harvey!" She yelled, turning her back to him.
"Sorry! Sorry," He also turned his back to her. "You're good. I'm not looking." She peeked and even though she wasn't as comfortable as she wished, she continued to take her shower. "Seriously. What do you mean 'resign'? You can't do that."
"Harvey! I told you to make a decision. I thought your knock last night was it."
"No…" His sarcastic and indignant tone got Donna ready to do a speech. "Because of the rule?"
"Yeah, because of the rule! I was very clear that this couldn't happen again if we were to keep working together." Yeah, she knew she was being a hypocrite. She created the rule, yet she opened the bedroom door. He didn't have to know that she thought like that.
Impressively, Harvey sighed and walked away. She had no idea what was the exact piece of word she had said that convinced him, but since he gave up, it was fine. She wanted to smile, but instead her movements got slower. She looked down. There was a figment of her heart that felt completely and devastatingly sad that Harvey had finally given up. Hypocrite.
Donna barely finished her shower. Her focus was all clouded by the possibility that they had messed up their professional relationship and possibly their very young friendship. Which was something she already cared very much about.
She dried herself off, put lotion on her legs and, rolled herself up on a towel, wet red hair down by her shoulders, she got out of the bathroom and found Harvey sitting on the very tip of the bed, looking down.
"Please, don't resign," he whispered.
Donna stopped walking right in front of him and his eyes came to meet hers, "This conversation doesn't even make sense anymore. We're so deep down into lying and cheating the rule that it's near impossible for us to make this work. Professionally."
"Well, what do you propose we do about this…" he pointed to her and to himself a couple of confused times. "Thing between us? 'Cause there's something, right? I'm not crazy?"
"It doesn't matter," Donna said almost to the inside of her closet. "If you want us to keep working together, it has to go away." There she was, giving in YET AGAIN.
"And what do you want?"
Donna froze with the question. It wasn't very Harvey-like to put other's take into consideration, "What I want doesn't really matter, Harvey, because I know the answer already." She shrugged, throwing a black silk pajama on the bed.
"Oh, and what is it?" He watched her moves while she walked back to the bathroom.
"You need me at work. You said it yourself, I make you a better lawyer. And you almost make me wanna own the legal in legal secretary. I sincerely don't wanna work for anyone else right now. This is the best job I'm gonna find… ever, actually," she came out of the bathroom holding a hairbrush. "Do you want somebody else to be your secretary?" Harvey shook his head promptly. "You see? We have to turn the tension into productive energy and friendship. No more wine, no more late dinners, no more coming to apartments alone, no more help beyond work hours," she said, already out of his sight again.
"Do I have any option?" Immediately she stuck her head out the door, frowning as if he had lost every part of all their conversations about that subject. "Yeah…" He responded quickly, then. "Agreed."
"Harvey, come on. It's not like you're gonna settle down," she said comforting him and that bummed little tone he had on.
"Wait," he reacted, jumping out of bed, and walking towards her. "You don't think I'm capable of commitment?" Harvey defied her in a look through their reflections on the mirror.
"I didn't say that" she slowly said back, turning her body to his direction. "I'm just saying, get real! You're gonna get tired of my know-it-all self in a few months, maybe weeks. And I'm gonna want to come home and complain to someone about my shitty boss, but I won't be able to because the someone and the boss will both be you. And then things would get complicated and messy and a giant snowball. Na-ha," she shook her finger no, already getting back to brushing her hair and looking at her reflection.
"I'd never get tired of you," Donna instantly put her gaze up, locking eyes with him in the mirror.
She shook her head, softly, "You don't know that." A sad smile appeared on her face. Harvey wished right then she would be completely honest with him because he knew she wasn't being.
"I'm not gonna say you're right, Donna, but I am going to buy this whole act." He saw the relief taking place on her expression instead of the sadness and he realized that that was the sensation he wanted to give her. So maybe it was better if he really stayed away. At least for then. "But just because we are so great together, and it would be a shame to New York to lose even an inch of my brilliance as a lawyer. Which is only possible because of you. So, yeah, truce. We're putting it out of our minds."
"Thank you, Harvey," the whisper that came out of her mouth sounded more like she was being freed from something rather than being right.
He nodded and Donna could almost hear a 'don't mention it'. "I'll see you tomorrow?" He said instead.
"Yeah," her voice was still the same calm and whispery thing.
"Good," Harvey rested his hand on her shoulder for a few seconds and smiled before leaving her sight, her bathroom, her bedroom, her apartment.
When Donna heard the door softly closing her legs walked her to the bed again and she laid down, curling herself into fetal position. What the heck just happened; her brain spiraled.
As for Harvey, there was not an ounce of doubt of what he had to do next. The Tiffany's on 5th Avenue would receive a call from him the next morning. He had a very specific idea about a ring. He would get it manufactured for Donna. And he would seize the worry, sadness, and hesitation from her face when the subject was both of them, romantically speaking. He would be the one to give her a happy expression every single day.
What Harvey didn't expect was the amount of time that little parade would take. It took three days for the artist to produce a blueprint for the ring. When he finally did, the actual manufacturing would take 15 to 20 days to be ready. Seemed Christmas would come up but not his special order.
And what was worse than that is that lawfully speaking, 15 to 20 days is a lifetime. You could get 3 lawsuits up and running in that time frame. That was how fast Dana Scott was to show up in New York to co-represent a client of Jessica's that was being sued for supposed corporate espionage. No need to guess. Yes, it was also one of the cases Harvey had been assigned to: Indigo. And to which Scottie's firm, responsible for taking care of another ramification of the defendant's business, decided the case needed a co-counsel. They didn't even need 15 days.
Two days and Harvey and Scottie went out for dinner. Five days and they had coffee in the afternoon. Outside of the office. Seven days and they left early for drinks. Eleven days and Donna watched as they arrived together at the firm, sharing coffees and looks. Harvey didn't say good morning that day. And yet Donna didn't look at her reflection in the mirror later that night and said 'I told you so' loud and clear, she poured her heart into chamomile tea, French fries, and Notting Hill.
She wouldn't say that out loud, nor think it through, but the whole atmosphere was as if her heart was broken, and she needed 5 to 7 business days to recover. Just ice cream, sleeping and wine. Instead, the next morning she got up and went to work.
What she didn't know was that Harvey wouldn't pick up the call from Tiffany because he was at court with Jessica, even though he had specifically told the salesperson to call only to the second number on the card.
"Harvey Specter's office," Despite all the things that were killing her on the inside, Donna had to admit she called for that to happen. She first insisted for him to give her up. She said she really, truly wanted the job, but no romantic shit involved. He tried. They did. So hard that now Harvey was already knocking on someone else's door. Someone he even had a lot of history with. Donna had to admit her romantic defeat with professional happiness because that was what she said she wanted.
"Good morning," the person on the other side of the line responded. "This is Joyce, I'm calling from Tiffany's on 5th Avenue to let Mr. Specter know that his order is ready to be picked up." Donna immediately went through his calendar looking for a Tiffany appointment. Had Harvey gone all the way to Tiffany? To order something?
"Oh, okay. I'll be picking it up myself, if that's ok," She decided it not to be sneaky or nosy, but because really Harvey would have no time to get down to the store to pick it up.
"Sure, it's already been paid for."
"Great. Joyce?" Donna got her attention again.
"Yes, ma'am?"
"What is it? That Mr. Specter ordered?" Only then that the nosy part hit it up.
"Hm…" It took a few seconds, and Donna heard papers being shuffled. "It is a special handmade ring. It turned out a beautiful piece."
"Perfect. Thank you." She hung up the call staring at nowhere in particular. Donna thanked every existent and non-existent God that Harvey was at court because she needed a couple hours to process that.
So, she decided to take a walk, grab some coffee, and pick up the little bastard of a ring. No amount of work would keep her upset in the office that afternoon.
While strolling through 5th Avenue, Donna resented not having access to Harvey's credit card; she would most definitely buy herself a treat just for the stress of picking a Tiffany ring for another woman. She stopped in front of Bergdorf Goodman, stared at an orange Prada handbag, and sighed. She had to fix her lack of access to Harvey's accounts.
When Donna reached Tiffany & CO, she sadly shook her head before getting in. "You're good, Donna, you're fine," she whispered to herself.
"Hello, good afternoon. How may I help you?"
"Hi, I'm here to pick up an order from Harvey Specter," she clarified and received a smile in response.
"Alright. I'll be just a minute," the saleslady disappeared for a few seconds and came back holding a piece of paper and a little Tiffany blue box. "Right here. Do you want to take a look?"
"No!" She paused, noticing it was a tad too incisive. "No, I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry. But thank you," Donna smiled, grabbed the receipt, and left, not at all sure if she had answered the right question.
When the smell of fall on the outside hit her face, Donna heard the sound of her lungs recovering her breath. That little trip to pick the blue bag actually was an adventure - a bad one, but still. She rolled her eyes quickly and made her way down 5th Ave. Stop fantasizing, Donna. The ring would always be for someone else, one way or another. Is it good that it is for Scottie? No… Is it bad, though? Meh, she shrugged, also no. At least she knows my name.
Involuntarily, Donna was making way to one of her favorite cafes in New York. And while she wouldn't stop annoying herself to death about the whole ring-Scottie-Harvey-getting-engaged-Tiffany-they-had-slept-together-not-a-month-before, her subconscious already knew what she would order.
I should be happy, actually. Really… We are finally on good terms, professionally. Friendship-wise. He's moved on from the little game he was trying to get me to play… In the middle of her wild and almost loud thoughts, Donna got inside the cafe, waited in line, ordered, and when absentmindedly she saw a slice of pound lemon cake and a coffee on the counter, she got closer, grabbing the order, and thanking the barista for it. But an imperative tone simply pushed her out of the glass cubicle she had created in her mind.
"Are you Mark?" Those were the words she heard, finally getting un-muffled.
"What? No," she stopped, both coffee and cake in hand.
"This is Mark's order," the barista said, very slowly. She felt like an idiot - which at the moment, she kinda was.
"Oh, I-I'm sorry," Donna heard a chuckle from behind her when a sympathetic man showed up next to her.
"It's okay!" He said, grabbing the order she had just put back down on the counter. "Hi, I'm Mark," the man passed both items to one hand, and offered his right one for her to shake.
She reached his hand and actually started saying her own name, but at the same second the barista yelled, "DONNA!" Putting her actual order on the counter.
Donna closed her eyes in reaction and raised a finger, "That would be me." She whispered, letting Mark know that that was her name.
"I'm only not saying we have the same great taste because I order skim milk in my coffee," he explained, already walking away from the counter beside her.
"What? Shut up. Of course I order skim milk, then I can put whip-cream and sugar in it," Donna said, showing off her coffee.
"Exactly!" They shared a laugh, and Donna noticed that his expression was of total comprehension, both of her and the crazy coffee theory. But of course, when the laugh was up, a killer silence came through.
"This is awkward," she baptized the moment while they stood up near the exit, frozen, not knowing how to act next.
"A bit cliche, yeah," Mark looked around, but no tables were available for him to propose they had their coffee together.
"That's New York for you," Donna said in a fun tone, sipping her coffee.
"Ha. Yeah, I guess you could say that." And then she walked out of the cafe, not really caring if the conversation had ended or not. But Mark had no doubt whatsoever in following her outside.
He had to walk faster to reach up, but when he did, he cleared his throat as if gathering some courage, "Look, I-I-'' Mark paused, checking if Donna was listening to his words. She was. "Would it be too forward to ask you out so we can see if our favorite drinks are the same as well?" She stopped walking, smiling. There was an instant force that blinked 'YES' in neon on her brain, but the sneaky and fucked up part of her mind just took her directly to Harvey. She looked down and immediately got a look of the stupid Tiffany bad. So, she smiled, looking up. Harvey had moved on. Finally. And so should she.
"Sure, why not," she answered, looking into his hazel eyes. She reached for a pen inside her purse and grabbed his cup of coffee. While she wrote down her number, her subconscious automatically created a path that made her thoughts spin trying to get in order just so she could convince herself that hers and Harvey's relationship was finally headed in the direction they needed it to be: professional. She should start living her life as the single, beautiful, and witty woman that she was.
Donna felt as if an elephant paw got off her chest when she arrived back at the office and Harvey still wasn't there, at least she would have some time to rehearse how she would casually mention the Tiffany bag without sounding too anything, just normal.
And so, she landed the bag on his desk and sat down on her own, trying to avoid looking too far to her left.
For her relief, it took Harvey another two hours to get back from court with Jessica. The stupid thing, though, was that he arrived exactly when Mark called. And she picked it up, and she was looking ridiculously lightened up, "Okay, don't worry I'll be there," Harvey heard her say while he made his way back inside the cubicle. "B-bye."
Harvey sat down and turned his chair towards her, "Well, someone's happy."
"Well, yes. But first, this…" she pointed to the green bag, "was available for pick up, so I already did. I scheduled your meetings with the Indigo witnesses tomorrow. Jessica told you about the deposition she wants you to watch?" That was the clever way she found to bring the ring up without any silent and awkward moment. As if she didn't want to or wasn't at all interested in knowing who the hell was the gift for.
"Yeap," Harvey nodded.
"Good, that's scheduled for tomorrow as well. Aaaaand…" Donna looked around her table to check if she wasn't forgetting any info. "Oh, yeah," she grabbed a file and handed it to him. "Scottie came in looking for you and was pretty mad when I said you were out. So, she just handed me that file and told me she'd meet you in court."
"Goddamnit," he said, looking through the content of the document.
"Yeap. I peeked. It's not very promising," she shook her head.
"I know. Jessica counted on that."
"So, we do stand a chance?"
"Of course we do." Harvey concluded, turning his chair back to face his computer. "Oh! The Tiffany ring, did you like it?" Donna saw the excitement on his face, part of her couldn't believe he was feeling such happiness and didn't even bother to tell her anything. But yeah, business is business, as she needed it to be.
"What? The ring?" She gulped discreetly.
"Yeah. What do you think?" His smirk could totally kill her if she didn't mentalize that no fuss was over her anymore.
"Oh, it's a beautiful ring, Harvey," he didn't even notice the lower tone she had because Donna pulled all her strings and acted like she was fine.
"Okay, great," he raised his eyebrows, so sure that he was hinting to her that he wanted to show her he was ready to commit to her. If only he knew how off they were those days…
"Alright, so, I see you're in a good mood…"
"Absolutely."
"Wow. What bit you, Harvey?" She chuckled at his coquettish smile. "Well, anyways, I'm gonna take advantage of that and ask if it's okay if I head out already, unless you still need me for anything else."
"No, no. I don't think so, you can go. Is everything ok?"
"Yeah! No, of course, it's just I…" she pondered telling him about the date. There was no reason for him to know about her love life from now on. She could wait until their friendship was stronger and for her and Mark to at least have a second date to share it with him. Hell, he was gonna propose to Scottie and she hadn't heard a word from it. They didn't owe each other anything on that matter. That's what she told herself to justify the 'white lie' that came next. "I'm gonna have dinner with an old friend who's in town just for tonight."
"Oh, that's nice, Donna. Sure," he said, facing his computer again.
"Thank you, Harvey," the redhead graciously said before grabbing her purse and walking away. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Have fun."
As soon as she walked out of Harvey's sight, he quickly grabbed the Tiffany bag and reached for the little box. He smiled thinking if she had figured everything out by then, at the same time he was mad as hell that the store had called the office when his specific instructions were not to.
Well, there was nothing he could do now, but take a look at it. Harvey opened it and when his eyes caught the dark blue diamond his entire body was filled with goosebumps. He let his weight fall back on the chair just to calm the adrenaline he was getting just by admiring it and imagining Donna's smile when she got to see it. That was the only thing he could think about: the smile on her face when she said yes.
But blue is too nice a color to just stay on diamonds. It could also be a sentiment, one Harvey was not expecting to feel anytime soon, but did. The very next morning it all turned blue.
It was close to 9 o'clock when Harvey turned on the corner of the firm, it was impossible not to notice the redhead coming out of a car. He watched as she turned back to the car, smiling. His every move felt like they were in slow motion and getting even slower when a tall and well-dressed man stuck himself out of the car to kiss Donna. They chuckled practically in each other's lips. Harvey's heart rate increased exponentially, and as much as he wanted to angrily memorize his face, he turned his head away and walked faster towards the building, hoping Donna would take some more time and not see him. The last thing he wanted at that moment was to face her - just having been kissed by another man.
To his luck, the elevator shut with just himself inside, and he leaned his back on the wall behind him, catching his breath.
So, there was no meeting an old friend. Or maybe there was, that was the friend. An ex, hence the "old". But why wouldn't she use the word 'date'? Was she trying to protect him. Maybe protect herself. She wants to move on. His thoughts were spiraling, everything around Harvey was melting down. His hands grasped the handlebar inside the elevator so tightly his knuckles were white. His lungs were working twice as hard than in an intense gym day. Part of his thoughts wandered around punching the guy, wrapping Donna in his arms, and saying 'you're fired' just so he could kiss her, and she would be pleased enough to kiss him back.
But he needed to calm down. He hadn't been fast enough. Besides, that's what she had been saying since day one: they wouldn't be together. That was what she wanted, and she finally acted by it. He needed to respect that. He would.
When the elevator opened its doors and Harvey saw he needed to come back to the real world, to the outside of his own thoughts, he felt a hole being carved on his chest. It felt like a first heartbreak - the pain was physically there, but the mind couldn't make actual sense of it. Except that it wasn't his first. His mom had managed to be the runner up on that matter. And so, he sighed deeply, already sitting down in his cubicle, knowing she'd be there any second after spending the night with a guy that wasn't him, saying 'good morning' like he could have one and keeping pleasure very far away from business like she said she would. He was the one who took steps in the opposite direction that had promised, it was his own risk and now his own frustration to deal with.
He grabbed the ring box from inside his pocket and put it on the second drawer on the left, the one with a lock. He couldn't return a personalized piece; he had signed a contract on it. Besides, it would be pathetic. Yes, I ordered this ring for the love of my life, but she doesn't love me back, so would you be so kind as to give my money back?
Harvey kept his eyes down to the direction of his computer. He was not planning to lock his eyes with hers for at least a couple hours till he managed to gulp and process that information. Donna had moved on and had just spent the night with a guy.
Maybe one day he would be selfless enough as to give her the ring to keep. Not as a proposal, just as a gift. But not that soon, no. Watching her use the ring, knowing he was supposed to ask her to let him make her happy for the rest of their lives would be too confusing. And more painful.
So, he locked the ring. And did the same with his feelings.
When Scottie left New York a few weeks after the whole Tiffany ring, Donna didn't have the balls to confront Harvey about why he didn't make the move and simply let her fly back. Especially because there was the possibility that he had asked her, and Scottie turned him down. Would she be that stupid?, the question pounded in Donna's head for a few days while she watched Harvey's behavior so she would try and read if there was any sign of sadness or heartbreak.
And there wasn't. At least not for Donna. Ans if there was something Harvey was great at that was being private about his feelings. Donna could guess what he needed, could make him feel comfortable, could even make him say sorry a few times, but Harvey knew she would never poke him about his romantic feelings. Not towards her, nor towards anyone. Especially now that she had taken her life to a new road.
As for Donna, the time Scottie was in New York was the time that things worked out with Mark. She had no idea what kind of bizarre timing that was that threw Harvey and her to silently comfort and soothe each other's feelings, but the universe did it on purpose. She knew.
From then on, Harvey incorporated that shutdown for years. And while that happened, Donna's mind tricked her into thinking that she felt good about the boundaries and only the casual flirty jokes and glances, no more sharing wine bottles in her apartment, needless touches, and the total avoidance of the both times Harvey was at her apartment. Everything was unspeakable, untouchable, and unreachable.
Ironically, that's how they became inseparable friends.
Harvey and I are like this.
Loyalty, reality, truth, safety, and confidence. And a lot of sass.
Marry me? I also took care of that, we've been married for the last 7 years.
Even though throughout the years things began to get complicated, fuzzy, and blurred very fast.
I'm a Donna fan.
Donna would get real with herself by calming her senses with nights out with Rachel and vodka shots.
Do you love him, yes or no? THAT'S ENOUGH!
But it got easier for her to shut everything down when Harvey showed up with a new flame.
Do you want to be alone? No.
But always, when the clock started to tick as loud as a bomb, they would back the hell out. Untold feelings and locked up rings.
I care about Donna. The thought of you going to jail makes me wanna drop to my knees. I told you I'd never let anything happen to you, and I won't, ever. You know I love you, Donna. Love me how? I'm leaving you. Harvey.
And that always meant a fight or a fidget of a revelation they have been postponing for years.
Donna, please. I love you, Harvey. I wanted to thank you. For what? For 12 years. Are you saying you're coming back to me? Yes. Someone very special to me convinced me that I needed to.
Until it got to a point in which Donna doubted everything she had ever felt for Harvey. All the baggage, all the years. They had been a complete roller coaster over them. She had to know. She had to slip her lips into his again to check if it would taste like painfully missing the love of her life or just as fun as it felt the very first time they did it.
I'm sorry, Harvey, I just had to know.
For Harvey, it had a bittersweet taste of nostalgia and truth. She could turn his world upside down as easily as she did in the very first years they worked together. But he couldn't admit it. Not then, not being a so-called healthy and stable relationship.
Our lines have been perfectly clear for a long time. Our lines are as blurred as lines can get. I'm the person you call at six in the morning or at midnight when you need someone. We smile, we drink, we flirt. You're upset because I chose Thomas over you. All I'm asking you to do is protect her.
But then there's a limit for everyone. A place where boundaries aren't enough, and glances feel like a stab in the back. Someone wants to move on, but for the other one, change is mystical and incomprehensible. Being in control was the important thing.
Until there's an ethics hearing that could get Harvey disbarred over something Donna did.
The timing couldn't have been worse. As in a fucking joke from the universe, while New York got ready for Christmas, the firm was almost collapsing over an ethics hearing happening on Christmas Eve. Yeah, that was how much Daniel Hardman wanted to fuck Harvey and the firm. Also, on the actual day Specter Litt Wheeler Wiliams was throwing a Christmas party.
And even though both Harvey and Thomas - whom she was seeing by then - were involved at the hearing, she couldn't be there. She said she didn't care if she's summoned or not, she couldn't watch. And so, she stayed behind and decided to help put the last details of the Christmas party up and running, then maybe she would get a few seconds of distraction from that whole mess. So, when the troupe arrived victorious from the hearing, she didn't get the news freshly.
As for Harvey, after being ditched by Robert, who went home, and Alex, who got upstairs for the party, he went to Samantha's office. He wanted to celebrate, as she said, but he knew it wasn't fair to bring the gloating to her, who had just lost her mentor.
"He believed in me. He was the only one who ever did that. The only one who saw who I was. All my baggage, all my flaws."
"And he accepted you anyway," The thing was, when Samantha started explaining who Robert was to her, Harvey didn't think of Jessica. That description fitted somebody else…
"He didn't just accept me. He loved me. Not easy to find someone like that in this world."
"No, it's not," he knew, the gloating… he wanted to share with Donna.
"I mean, what am I supposed to do when I have a big victory or a terrible loss, and the only person I wanna run and tell isn't there? What am I supposed to do?" She was right. And he finally knew. He depended on Donna, not his secretary, but on Donna. She was the one who never lost faith in him, that loved him despite every nasty little or big thing he had done. She was the one Harvey wanted to share a scotch, a laugh, and a hug after that whole nightmare. And there was no silent and blurred boundary that could erase that.
"Samantha, I'm so sorry, but I have to go."
"Where?"
"I just have to," and then Harvey left Samantha's office like he was in a life and death kind of hurry. He needed to find Donna.
He walked quickly to his office, already looking around for her. The moment in which he unlocked the drawer he still kept her ring after all those years felt so right that Harvey doubted he ever knew for certain that he was happy. For that long, it didn't matter which desk or in which office, there was always a drawer with a lock and the blue box. That single second he knew, he kept it because there was still a beating heart inside of him somewhere that was sure it would feel right someday. And it fucking did. It felt terrifying and insane and heart stopping. But delightful, as if by unlocking the drawer something inside him opened the gates. He ached from the urge to touch her and tell her he loved her.
Harvey shoved the ring inside his pocket and went through the floor looking through the glass walls from her office, he crossed the bullpen, he checked the kitchen and the file room. But nothing. She wasn't there.
When he looked around trying to figure out where she could be, he saw some people talking by the elevator. The goddamn Christmas party, he remembered and ran straight to the elevators, knowing she'd be upstairs already, since the party was being held on a higher floor.
"Do you know if Donna went upstairs already?" He let out the question impatiently, not for anyone in particular, even though a few people glanced at him, at each other and shook their heads in response. No one wanted to speak to the unstable-looking and jaw-wrenching Harvey.
He tried to catch his breath, but he was ridiculously failing with the whole walking and strolling in the elevator corridor. All he could think about was that he was looking around and she wasn't there. He just wanted her to be there. And he was so absent from the actual world that it felt like he was waiting for too long for the elevator, he couldn't waste any more second, he needed to know if she was upstairs.
"Hey, Harvey," Alex answered, picking up his call.
"Alex, are you at the party already?" Harvey's shortness of breath alarmed Alex but didn't make it into the conversation.
"Sure, yeah. I'm with Rosalie. What do you need?"
"Where's Donna? Is she there?" Alex got silent for a second while Harvey kept on pacing insistently.
"I'm not seeing her right here, really… I can tell."
"Oh, God," Harvey complained, hanging up the phone. "HAS ANYONE SEEN DONNA?" He yelled in the middle of everyone, fearing she had left already, that he had lost her. The whole place got dead silent to stare at him, and when he thought he was going insane, her confused and alarmed voice responded.
"I'm right here," Donna said, walking out of Louis' office.
"Okay, I didn't…" Harvey didn't look back, he ran to her. Donna didn't move, expecting a lecture from Harvey again. They had already fought because of the whole thing; she wasn't expecting an instant apology. "Could you come here where people can't hear us?" He said when he reached her, leading Donna to the bullpen where there was no associate anymore, and the people from the elevator hall couldn't see them.
"Donna, you know Christmas has never made very much sense to me. And I've been trying to avoid spending it anywhere near my family because of-"
"I know," Harvey seemed out of breath and like he was trying to organize his thoughts and words in sentences.
"Yeah. But you're also family to me. I want to spend Christmas with you," Donna frowned at the same time she smiled. He was being sweet and if she was being honest, she needed some comforting. She took it willingly, grateful that it wasn't a lecture he was giving her.
"What is it with the Christmas speech?" She shrugged trying to understand where he was headed.
"What? No. Wait. I-I-I'm, you're not focusing on what's important."
"Oh, I'm not?!" Donna widened her eyes, having fun with his confusion.
"Wait. I could have done this so much better if I had a minute, damnit," he looked down, calming down his mind.
"What are you saying?" She smiled, deciding to let him go through with his thoughts.
"I'm saying I love you," but to her amazement, he figured it out pretty fast. "And whether I knew it or not, I wanted to marry you from the second I met you," Harvey finally looked Donna in the eyes with confidence. There he was, present and with his mind set in stone.
She blinked twice as fast and tilted her head towards him, "What?!"
Harvey disorderly took the Tiffany box from his pocket and the ring from inside it. Donna looked down to the blue diamond he was holding and suddenly, she didn't know what to say, nor how to do it, a big lump formed in her throat. Harvey put one hand into hers and admired her eyes getting filled with tears while she tried to find out what to say.
"You're speechless!" Their whole lives shifting, and Harvey was worried to make sassy points, he was so ridiculously happy.
"Oh… my God," Donna felt her heart rate increase so much that she could hear the heartbeats more clearly than she could hear Harvey.
He sighed, getting ready to convince her if needed to. "Donna, it might've taken me all these stupid years, and I really wish I had come to my senses sooner, but I know now." His tender look made Donna melt. She was trying so hard not to cry hysterically and yell a big fat yes before he could finish what he was saying. "Today I almost lost you and everything that I worked for my entire life. But when I finally got good news, that's when I knew you were my everything. I knew I could always count on you when the chips were down. I just hadn't realized I couldn't do without you when they were up. I'm a gambler," that made her chuckle and Harvey's smile got wider if that was even possible. "I always have been, and I always will be. When you're with me, my chips are always up." If there was anyone watching them, the one word description would be love. Incessant, written in the stars, ravishing love. "I've been in love with you for so long I can't even remember when. And honestly? I can't remember why we promised to stay away from each other all those years ago. I never wanted that, but now I know better than to just agree. And I don't wanna waste another second because you're the love of my life," she chuckled, not being able to believe that after all those years that was finally happening. "I love you, Donna Paulsen."
She laughed then, exploding in happiness with what she was about to say, "Well, news flash, Harvey Specter, I love you, too."
Harvey opened another huge smile. His body was so comfortable living that moment that he felt in a cloud, nothing could get to them. There was no one but him and Donna. That was how she made him feel, since always, but only now he could clearly see it. She was always the one. "So, what do you say? Will you marry me?"
"Harvey," Donna laughed, smiled, chuckled, and cried all at once. "Of course I'll marry you!"
"Oh, thank God," he whispered, sealing her lips with his and throwing his arms around her. The electrifying sensation of kissing the person you have loved for years is inexplicable. Donna remembered when they first kissed, how Harvey tasted like coffee and a challenge. He was excitement and a hurricane all put together. When she felt his tongue in her mouth after all those years, that sensation of being in the eye of a hurricane soothed her. Donna shifted her weight to the point of her feet, so she could reach him higher on her tiptoes. When he felt her pining on him, Harvey walked them to the closest wall in the bullpen.
Donna's back touched the wall, but immediately arched to get closer to him. He was as hot as their first time, and as passionate as their second one. She felt almost like a soundtrack was playing in the background. If a thousand butterflies could be in the same space, they were all flying around her body right that second.
Harvey pulled Donna closer by her lower back and she parted their kiss, hugging him instead. "This is the happiest I've ever been," she whispered mouth close to his ear.
Harvey closed his eyes for a second too long, enjoying the smell of her hair and the touch of her skin on his. It had been forever. "I'm sorry it took me so long."
Donna moved back just enough to look into his eyes. She shook her head, smiling, "I was worth the wait." And not losing a fidget of her essence, she put her right hand up in front of Harvey, making him laugh. He took her hand cautiously and slid the diamond ring on her finger. When it reached the base, Harvey looked at her eyes, placing her hand on his shoulder and resting his hands on her lower back.
"Look, I have to ask you something," her face got serious in a split second.
"Anything," Harvey frowned, being so clouded with happiness that he didn't know what to expect.
"Is this ring the one I went to pick up I don't even remember how many years ago?" Donna said facetiously, as if knowing that it wasn't the same ring.
"It's the same ring, yeah." Something inside her just got so tight, the world felt so small, yet so big like she was floating in space, she didn't know how to describe it properly. "What is it?" Harvey asked, trying (but failing) to read her expression.
"Back then," she started to explain, her eyes closed, her right hand moving back, mentioning the past. "I was so sure the ring was for someone else," now that it was so clear that Harvey only loved her and for so long, part of her was even embarrassed to admit that.
"That's why you went out with that guy?" Harvey tilted his head, and Donna made one of those faces.
"How did you know about Mark?"
"I'm Harvey, I know everything?" He smiled, trying to get away without having to describe his heartbreak for her, at least not that night. "The ring was always for you," he made it clear, swaying her body a bit. "And I kept it because even though we were so out of place, I guess something inside of me always knew it was you." Donna smiled back and got closer to his face slowly. He even closed his eyes in anticipation of her taste again. When her fingers touched his hair, Harvey sighed on her red velvet lips. He was afraid that there was nothing in the whole damn world that could make him feel the way she did.
When their lips quietly broke apart, Donna brought her right thumb to Harvey's lips. They admired each other's obvious joy, while she stroked the details on his face, "Thank you, Harvey."
"For what?" He had the most spectacular view of Donna resting her head on the wall, her eyes more closed than usual due to the smile she couldn't abandon.
"Not giving up," she truly, honestly said.
"It's what we have always done for each other."
Donna nodded, and to the soft sound of a "Yeah," she kissed Harvey again. Blue diamond in hand, feelings blurted in the out, hearts racing for the same reason: being in each other arms again. For real. No holding backs, no promises.
"Hey, stranger, we have a party to go to," she reminded him, lips practically raveled.
"Only if I can dance with my fiancée," as if it was possible, his raspy whisper melted every inch of Donna.
"Deal," she kissed him quickly and moved herself away from the wall. Harvey wrapped his hand on hers and followed the red head out of the bullpen, through his firm, up the elevator and into a Christmas party. With his fiancée…