October 24, 2021
He was tired of going to funerals. Sick of them really. So sick that he popped three Tylenol for a raging headache that was searing through his body, making everything ache. Tuck was determined to not go and Miranda was set to let him, not wanting to force the teen to attend another funeral. But Ben knew he'd regret it and every other day or so, he'd been prodding the boy delicately.
"I don't want to go," Tuck said not even bothering to turn to face him.
Ben sighed. "I know you don't. Hell, I don't want to either, babe."
"He was your best friend."
"He was," the older one confirmed. "But he was your friend, too, no?"
Tuck pressed some buttons on his computer mouse. "Yeah, I guess."
"You guess?" The teen shrugged. "When you needed someone for Career Day, who showed up with the truck and everything two years ago?" Tuck's hand dropped from the keyboard. Miranda and Ben had sat in the back of the room and watched Tuck brag about the man, smiling and taking pictures. Afterward, the four of them went to dinner and had a great time.
"And when you wanted to ask us for that expensive ass PlayStation game well before your birthday and Christmas, who did you go to?" He spun and faced his dad. "And…"
"Okay, okay. Y-yeah, he was my friend, too. So what?"
"So… this will be…" His heart was shattering in his chest. "This will be the last time you get to see him," Ben told him. Tuck finally looked up. "And I know we just buried Grandma and… and… and… that it's hard, but I don't want you to not have this last memory of your friend—our friend."
Tuck's shoulders dipped and Ben waved him over and the two of the cried together with the sound of the game as background music. "I'll go."
Sniffling, Ben said: "Okay."
Despite the somberness, the day was good. Pru slept through most of it, her head on his lap. And Ben held on to Miranda who couldn't seem to keep her face dry for more than five minutes. Afterwards, they went back to the Station for food, reminiscing about Dean Miller. That night, Ben made sure the everyone in the house was good before he went for a long drive, passing through several towns before stopping at a busy gas station to take a breather and get a snack.
This wasn't his first loss. His mother had died when he was younger and his dad's was expected. And he'd lost patients as a doctor and seen deaths as a firefighter, but this… he was struggling to process it all. He'd just been talking to the man, laughing and joking and now he was gone. It made no sense.
His phone rang and he answered it without looking at the caller, already knowing that it was Miranda. "Are you downstairs?" She asked in a deep voice.
He shook his head as if she could see him. "No, I'm not. I, uh, went out for a bit."
"If this is the start of your midlife crisis, please let me know, so I can plan accordingly."
Ben chuckled. "I'm just out clearing my mind."
"Yeah? Where are you?"
He didn't want to tell her that he was an hour or two away and wouldn't been back in double that time. "I'll be back soon. Get some rest, baby," he told her yawning.
"I can keep you company to help you stay awake for a bit."
"Thank you. I love you, Miranda."
"Ah, Ben, I love you, too."