December 1, 2021
Dean Miller didn't have a will. Well, not an updated one that included his daughter, Pruitt Arike. According to his lawyer, Condola, he kept saying he'd get around to it. And that time had never come. And now… they were here. In a room full of people who were deciding the fate of a little girl who'd gone through a tragedy she'd never fully grasp.
Ben sat next to his wife and Dean's lawyer, Condola. In addition to the others at the station, she was the only other people who knew that Dean wanted Ben and Miranda to take Pru. "Will you and Miranda take my baby? You two are the best parents that I know." One didn't say that and not consider the fact that their own parents were still alive and the child's namesake had only just died. He'd meant that. The two-year-old was supposed to come with them. Supposed to be raised in a home full of love.
On the other side of the table were the Millers, Ifeya and Bill, stoic… sad… their child gone forever. It was a pain Ben had only experienced minimally and just the thought of his child who could have been sent him into a small daze. He couldn't imagine losing one you'd raised for 30 years.
But he knew the story. They'd wanted Dean to go into the family business. He changed courses to become a firefighter and they resented him for it. And he was so good at it. One of the best Ben had ever witnessed. His parents had also cut him off after the birth of Pru. And the relationship between them was fragmented and had only slowly begun to mend after almost two years. But for as long as Ben had known Dean, he'd only met the Millers once before his death.
"They're gonna be here any minute," Dean said frantically moving from room to room making sure everything was perfect.
"Bruh, you have to calm down," Ben said smiling at the usually relaxed Dean who was descending into a fit of madness. "It's clean. The drinks are doing their drink thing. We're great hosts."
Dean stopped and looked over at him. "How long are you supposed to be here again?"
Ben gritted his teeth. "Until my wife can come to terms with my profession," he answered. "I mean, I could go to a hotel."
"No, no, sorry," Dean responded. "See, this is what Ifeya and William Miller do. They make me crazy and then I say stuff I don't mean." The other man nodded. "Stay as long as you want."
Appreciating that, Ben held out his hand for Dean and the friends shook hands. The doorbell rang and Dean's eyes widened. "I'll get it."
At the door, Ben put on a smile and greeted them. "Hello!" At first glance, he was reminded of Miranda's parents, Elena and William. But they had been nothing but kind. These two didn't so much as smile as they stepped into the house. And Ben wished he'd taken Dean's suggestion and gone to the station.
"Hello, Ifeya Miller," the woman said.
"Warren. Ben Warren." He held out his hand and she shook it firmly as Bill passed them.
"Where's our son?" Bill inquired surveying the room without introducing himself.
Ben turned. Dean had just been standing behind him. "Uh… bathroom?" He chuckled nervously cursing his friend out in his head.
Ifeya tapped the sofa, asking: "And what are you doing here, Warren. Ben Warren?"
"I'm staying with Dean for a few weeks."
"Oh?"
"Yeah… yes. My wife and I are…" Dean walked into the room. "Thank God."
"Mom! Dad!" Dean said hugging and kissing his mother before shaking hands with his father. "How was the trip out this way?"
Bill hitched up his pants. "It's fine. But we have business to discuss, so…" He turned to Ben. "Can you excuse us please?" Bill asked.
Dean held up a hand. "He's good. What business, dad?" Ben wished he could back out of the room. "You called and said you were coming over and didn't even bother to see if I was busy. Warren and I were about to go to the shooting range."
Every Miller stared at him. "We… were! We were! Yes. Right. And we have to be there fifteen minutes early, too. Remembered what happened last time," Ben said adding a little razzle-dazzle to the lie.
Dean nodded. "So, can you make it quick?"
"Fine," Bill answered.
Ifeya took over the conversation. "We want to discuss you coming on…" Her son sighed. "Only part-time… just until we can—"
The youngest Miller shook his head. "Mom, no. I'm… I have a job."
"It's only—" Bill began.
"Dad, no. I don't want to."
"Fine. If you don't want to, then…"
"Then what?" Dean asked with a smile in his eyes, his lips stiff.
Bill stood up and held out his arm for his wife. "We'll continue this later," he said.
"Right. Later."
Ben blew air from his mouth and grabbed Miranda's hand beneath the table. She squeezed it hard and glanced up at him with eyes that were silent and stressed. He rubbed her back with his other, leaning toward her. "You're gonna break the moneymakers," he said in her ear hoping to elicit a smile, but it was none doing. "It's going to be okay."
"It will only be okay if she comes home with us," she whispered back.
He licked his lips as the door opened and Judge Bell walked in, waving them off as they all started to stand. For the next few minutes, she explained some rules of conduct for the meeting. "So," she began. "I want everyone here to know that I'm making my judgment based on what's best for… Pruitt. We all should be here for her. And doing what her father, Dean Miller, would have wanted within the realm of the laws." She glanced around the table, her braids swinging as she made eye contact with everyone. "I'm here to cater to the child. Not to the feelings of other adults involved." They all nodded though Ben expected some wouldn't play fair. "I'm sure that this is hard for everyone. I've read about Mr. Miller and he's nothing short of a hero." That was a truth. "So, let's just dive right in. There is a child who needs a stable home and schedule."
Ben inhaled. This was it. It was his turn to squeeze his wife's hand. She didn't budge, her eyes on Judge Bell. He cast his eyes across the table. Bill was wearing the same look he had at Thanksgiving. But Ben was never able to determine what it meant. Was it regret? Grief? Was the man simply tired? Or was Ben simply projecting his own feelings? He was tired as hell. The drama was too damn much. He just wanted Pru to be happy. And grief… these last few years were pierced with grief, so many punches to his faith. But regret was one that eclipsed all of that. Why hadn't he told Miranda about Dean's proposal, his own acceptance? She would have made sure it was in writing. And they wouldn't be here today, fighting over a child who in some ways belonged to them all.
"So, I've spoken with all of Pruitt's grandparents, Ifeya and Bill Miller and Petra and Henry Lau. I've also talked to the ones contending, her theoretical godparents, Dr. Bailey and Dr. Warren. As well as a host of other characters, other firefighters, and family members, including Dean's sister, Yemi Miller." Judge Bell coughed into her elbow. "Excuse me. As we all know, Dean Miller's current last and will testament does not mention his daughter. And according to the law, I herby grant custody of Pruitt Arike Miller to Ifeya…" Ben's chest caved listening to the names. His body floated while he tried to hold on to his wife, but everything in him wanted to rip away from her and run from the room. He looked at Miranda and saw that she hadn't shed a tear, there was a small smile on her face and she was patting his hand. Judge Bell continued: "I'm sure the Millers will have no problem allowing Pruitt's second family to see her and maintaining the relationships with the other important people in her life."
Ben looked over at Pru's grandparents. Ifeya was grinning and Bill was staring right at him. He smiled at the older man in a show of "good sportsmanship". The law was on their side. He just hoped that the couple would let them see the girl. In his heart, they were still her godparents. They deserved to be in her life, deserved to be the pillars of her village.
As the room emptied, Miranda headed over to talk to Ifeya and Ben went to Bill. What was he supposed to say to the man? Congratulations? It seemed as if the man was waiting for him. "Thank you for taking care of our granddaughter," Bill said before Ben could open his mouth.
"Of course. Of course." The two men shook hands. "Um…"
"You two are free to see Arike anytime." Hearing the man use Pru's middle name, what he'd called her "true" name. That had ticked him off and he knew it would have pissed Dean off. Pru was named after a very brave man, a father figure of sorts for all of the firefighters at Station 19. "We'd never stop you two from seeing her. My son clearly thought highly of you and your wife and that matters."
"Not enough to respect his wishes" is what Ben wanted to say. Instead he just nodded. Raised voices from behind them had him spinning.
"If it was really what he wanted, there would have been documentation," Ifeya was saying to Miranda.
Ben saw his wife lift her chin at the taller woman. "How much proof do you need than testimonies from the people who knew him best stating and restating his wishes?" Miranda asked in a tone that was moments from snapping, but that was also so tame.
"The judge made her ruling," Ifeya told her.
"I know," Miranda said as Ben moved next to her, sliding a hand around waist, hoping to calm her. "I'm sorry."
The older woman shifted her jaw. "It's okay. My husband and I understand that you love her, too."
"We do," Ben added. He looked at Bill milling by the door. "Just as much."
Ifeya made a noise, gave a tight smile. "Excuse us. We're going to pick Arike up from daycare."
Ben wanted to scream. How could the legal system be so goddamn wrong and so goddamn right? "Give her a big hug from us," Miranda said.
"And a kiss," Ben added. The Millers said that they would and left. Miranda and Ben stood in the room, alone for a moment. "Shit!" Usually, she'd tell him to watch his language, but today was a different breed of "what the fuck?" The door swung open and Condola came in with bright eyes. Ben perked up… had there been a mistake? "Well?" He asked.
"I talked to the judge," she said after a few seconds. "Her ruling is what it is, but I've been assured that if we find something within the coming weeks, that she'll think about reopening the case."
The breath he let out was loud. "Really?"
Miranda gripped his hand. "Oh my God. That's… that's good, right? I mean…"
Condola nodded. "Now… I'm not saying we will because I don't want to get your hopes up. And because I've torn through my paperwork several times over, but… maybe." The couple agreed silently. "I loved him, too. And I know for a fact that he's mentioned you two. He just wouldn't sit his ass down for two minutes and finish it all."
The three of them laughed. That was Dean. "You always do the right thing and worry about the details later. It's one of the most maddening things about you." Ben remembered telling this to his best friend when they'd been floating in the coldest water ever doing the most physically exhausting thing he'd ever experienced. It was then they'd promised to be there for each other—brothers. Though, he was sure that between the two of them, they didn't think that less than a year later, one of them would be getting buried. Ben swallowed. "What do we have to do?"
In the car, Ben treaded lightly. Even with the quasi-good news, they weren't the ones going to pick up Pru. But at least they'd have some time alone to begin processing that devastating fact. Thankfully, their boys were elsewhere, occupied. Tuck was working at the local recreation center and Joey was at his internship at the fire station. That was for the best because after a few months of a makeshift custody, the two of them, like their parents, were now so attached to Pru. Though bringing her home for the first time had been a confusing time for everyone.
"Is Tuck here? Joey?" Ben asked opening the door.
"I don't think Joey is, but Tuck should be in his room," Miranda said with the biggest smile looking down to the girl in her arms. Pru was asleep; had knocked out six minutes from the hospital.
Ben knew it was wrong, especially since his brother had just died, but he was in love. With his boys, wife, with his goddaughter. He would never use Pru's place in their life as a replacement for the child they'd lost; but he'd be lying if he didn't say it felt good to finally get to be a girl dad. They walked into the house and he locked the door. "So, how do we…?"
"I don't know," she answered. "Carefully. Especially for Tuck because…"
"I know. I know," he responded as Miranda laid Pru down on the sofa. While the two of them were great now, Tuck had not been happy about the addition of Joey to the family, feeling like his spot in their lives was at stake. He'd once asked for a younger sibling and instead was given an older brother. The teen had run to his father's house, staying there for a couple of weeks which tormented Miranda who hardly got any sleep until he returned. Ben had never told her that he also lay awake waiting for the door to open and boy to come back. They needed to be gentle. "We need to break it to him easily or he could flip out again."
She nodded, pushing her fingers through the girls' head. "I think this time may be different."
"Yeah?" She bobbed her head again and Ben slipped an arm around her waist, his eyes darting from one beauty to the next. Tears welled in his eye again and he had to turn away, wiping his face. His best friend's death had brought them here and he hated it.
A door opened on the second floor and music leaked down the stairs to the first. "Tuck?" Miranda called out.
"Yes?" The sixteen-year-old answered coming down the stairs, shirtless, carrying a bowl. "Hey." Ben waved him over and he sat down in the nearest chair. "What's going on?"
Ben's heart raced. "Come here, son."
"Oh, no. Wait…" Tuck started, "someone died?" Miranda and Ben exchanged looks.
"Sit down, baby."
Tuck shook his head. "I'm good, ma," he said, his upper lip stiffening. "Just tell me. Is it Pop-Pop? Joey? My dad?" He asked quickly.
Ben cleared his throat trying to remove the lump as Miranda said: "No, no, no, baby. No. They're fine. Come… sit."
Tuck sighed and put down the bowl on the table, the spoon in it clanking. He sat on the arm of the chair next to Miranda. "So?" He finally realized that there was another body in the room. "Is that…? Is that Pru?"
"There was an explosion while we were out on a call," Ben began, "and Dean… he… h-he didn't make it." Miranda reached over and picked up his hand, kissing it. "And, so… according to Dean's wishes, we're probably going to be…"
"Another kid?" Tuck asked, chuckling. Ben was so confused. Apparently, Miranda was as well because her brows were wrinkled. "Mom, are you running an orphanage?"
Ben tried to keep his face straight, but the question had caught him off guard and he burst out laughing. "Do you want to get grounded?" He asked in jest.
Tuck shook his head and sat down on the same chair as Pru. "Damn… Dean really… died?"
Licking his lips, Ben nodded. "Yeah," he said tearing up once more.
"I'm sorry, dad."
"Me, too."
The door opened and Joey walked in smiling. "Okay," he said, "I'll text you later, baby. Bye." He rounded the corner. "Hey, everybody."
Tuck waved as Ben sighed. This wouldn't get any easier. Dean was liked by everyone in the house. He was funny and charming and caring. Ben made a face and gestured for him to come into the room. "What's going on?"
When they told him the news, Joey just asked if he could be excused. The other three watched him head toward the basement, slamming his door. Ben stood up, but Miranda stopped him. "I'll talk to him," she said walking away as Pru stirred waking up.
Seeing Tuck's face, she smiled. "Hey, Pruey," Tuck said smiling back at her. She crawled into Tuck's lap and Ben watched, his shattered heart mending slowly. Maybe they would all be okay.
"Want to get something to eat before we go home?" Ben asked, pulling out of the parking lot.
"Are you going to cook? Because I sure the hell am not," Miranda snapped, looking out of her window. She sighed. "I'm sorry. Sorry. Yes. And, before you ask, we can go to that spot you like." She turned in her seat and he could see that while she wasn't crying, she was breaking.
Checking the mirror, he pulled over. "Come here," he said grabbing her. Her perfume wafted into his system and he inhaled just to get a little bit more.
Miranda's body quaked in his arms. "It feels like…" He rubbed her back, his own tear ducts moist. "It feels like losing her all over again."
"Dani," he whispered.
"Huh?" She asked backing away, her hands wringing his shirt. "Who?"
"In my head, I'd named her 'Dani'," he said forcing a smile.
Miranda closed her eyes and slipped her fingers between his. "You never told me that."
"I didn't want to, uh… exacerbate the pain."
"You were in pain, too, hon." Ben shrugged and wiped his face. His wife reached into the glove compartment and took out a couple of napkins, giving him one. "Dani… I like that."
"Yeah?"
"Is that after Danny?" She inquired as he eased back into traffic. Ben confirmed with a nod. Danny Monroe was one of his best friends. Had been since the two of them were kids, maybe even before that. Their parents were friends. But an accident in their 17th year had caused seemingly irreversible danger to Danny's body and mind. He was in a permanent vegetative state a couple of hours from Seattle. The man was why he did what he what he did—why he'd become a doctor, hoping to help Danny or people like him, why he'd left it for something more leading to his meeting Dean, why he and his family were going through all of this. Damn it, Danny. Miranda interrupted his thoughts: "I really wanted baby girl to come home with us."
He didn't know which baby girl she was talking about, but his answer would have been the same way either way. "Me, too, babe. And… I'm sorry about all of this."
"Sorry? For what?" If he stayed quiet long enough, she'd read his mind, so he just drove. "Benjamin, I was mad—"
"No, you were livid," he reminded her. All those weeks ago, when Dean had died, he'd told her about his friend's wishes and she'd nearly hit the roof, only remaining calm because he was experiencing the loss of another friend. "I thought you were going to kill me." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.
Miranda smirked. "Just you thank your lucky stars, Ben Warren."
At the restaurant, he kept the engine running and started to get out of the car and she held his wrist. "Yes?"
Her face told a story, he knew her lips wouldn't. "Come on. We can eat inside."
They ordered and sat at the table, talking about everything except Judge Bell's decision and Condola's almost save. Ben wanted to mention it, but he also didn't want to upset his wife or himself anymore. Though, he wasn't sure how that would be possible. The little girl had become such a fixture in their lives within such a short period of time. With the boys off doing their teenager things every weekend, their home felt homier again when she was around. Both he and Miranda had admitted that they found themselves hurrying to get home after long days when it was their time with her. He imagined that how it would have been had God blessed them with a mini-them. Ben shook those thoughts from his head. After one conversation, they were still lowkey trying to conceive even with all of their past issues, health and otherwise.
"So, you've been avoiding the topic, but do you think we should go down this new route?" Miranda asked.
"Yes. Don't you?" He asked biting into a piece of rib. He knew his wife well enough that when she didn't respond right away, that was a red flag. "Miranda?"
"When Miller asked you the first time, he was at odds with his parents. Perhaps it was spite or… or maybe he just asking us to be at Pru's christening not really understanding the gravity of what he was asking. I don't know." Was she giving up? Or did she not want to keep going on a rollercoaster of emotions? The back and forth of it all. "And the second time… you two were in the midst of a near-death experience."
Ben picked up his drink, desperately wishing it were a whiskey. "What are you saying, baby?"
"Maybe… maybe it's best that she goes with her grandparents, Ben," she replied not looking at him.
"Do you still want Pru?" He grabbed her hand gently and slide his chair closer to her. "Because I know how strenuous this all is. And… you don't need any stress and I don't want you to have to go through another heartbreak." They finally made eye contact. No matter what was happening, her brown eyes always eased him. "I know he said he wanted us to take baby girl, but he didn't ask you. You… you didn't sign up for this and I'll understand if you just want to stop. But we're a team, so we both get a say."
Miranda touched the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss. It was his first taste of her all day and for a moment every problem he had went away. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, moving it expertly until she moaned shakily. "I want this. So much," she said in a low tone that put goosebumps all over his arms.
"Then… we'll keep fighting. Until we know there's no way we don't get custody." He tried to smile, but it actually hurt to do so. He sucked in air and watched his wife do the same.
"Let's do it."
The two of them went to bed early, confused about the day. Miranda held onto him from behind. Ben loved holding his wife, but when he got to be "the little spoon," he always felt so protected. "He knew what he was asking me."
"Huh?"
"Miller. He knew. He wanted us to have Pru. I know he did." Miranda climbed over him so that they were face to face. I don't want to take or keep her from her grandparents in an evil manner. Babe… I'm just trying to honor his wishes. I promised him. I swore I would. That we would." Her hands slinked up his shirtless back. "I agreed on your behalf because you are the best mother. Watching you with Tuck all of these years and then with Joey. I'm convinced." He swiped his thumb across her chin. "And you and I well… we're perfect parents."
She grinned. "You don't even know where either of your sons are right now."
They laughed for only the second time all day. "Tuck texted that his dad was picking him up and they were going to Tucker's house. And Joey… he should be at Journey's house," he said recalling the messaged he'd gotten from the 19-year-old.
"Have y—"
"Yes, yes, of course." She smiled and licked her bottom lip. He kissed her chest. "I love you so much."
"Say that again."
"I love you so fucking much, Miranda Bailey," he repeated, pulling her on top, his favorite position. The tiny shorts she was wearing allowed him to slip his finger up the pants leg easily. She sighed as he played, throwing her head back. Deftly, he released his dick, sliding into her and he expected a loud moan like most other times, but his wife just rocked on top of him, gripping his chest.
"Ben..." Her soft voice almost sent him over the edge only two minutes in.
"Yes, baby?" He asked, sitting up. Through her shirt, he sampled her nipples, flicking them until they were hard. "Mmmm…" Ben reached behind her and tapped her ass, holding her tightly, lifting his hips and pumping her hard.
Miranda touched his face and brought him in for a kiss that had him climaxing, sweat beaded his head as he gave her everything he had in the moment. "I'm coming," she said in his mouth, squeezing his neck. "Oh, God. My God! My God!"
Another kiss as they finished depleted him and he lay back. "Fuck!"
She dropped onto him and he groaned a little. The silence in the house was so deafening. "Oh, God," Miranda echoed, sniffling.
"What's wrong?" He asked as warm moisture raced across his chest.
"N-Nothing," Miranda said crying and trembling in his arms. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" He put his head back for a second before hugging her. "It's okay, baby," he reassured her, praying to a God he'd once denounced. She clambered off of him and pulled the covers up to her chest, staring at the ceiling. "It's alright." He stroked her head as she let out the emotions she'd been holding in. And he felt so damn bad. Sighing, he apologized again, the feeling of regret eating away at him.
"Don't apologize. I've just been trying to be strong all day because Miller is really gone and we lost Pru and… I can't… I can't do it anymore!"
He turned to her, wrapping an arm around her body, pulling her as close as he could. "You don't have to be strong for me or with me, babe." Miranda looked over at him with red eyes. And she wouldn't ever believe it, but she was gorgeous, his heart flipped. "Okay?"
"Okay."
She fell asleep on his chest as he thought about where they could find this mystical evidence to carry out Dean's wishes. The alarm beeped letting him know that the door had opened and then he heard voices. Slipping from beneath his wife, he put on a robe and walked downstairs. "Dad! Look at this video!" Tuck said chuckling and thrusting the cell into his hands. "Push play." Ben took a breath and watched the video knowing that any other time, he'd be cracking up, but he just couldn't now. "What's… what's wrong?"
"Where's Joey?"
"Getting out of the car."
The door opened once again and Joey walked in, tossing his bag to the floor. "Hey, Pops."
Ben gave Tuck back his phone. "Hey." Putting his hand on both of their backs, he guided them into the living room. "So, you know the judge made her ruling today to see where Pru would end up and…" He cleared his throat. "Her grandparents will be raising her."
"Shit," Joey said and Ben couldn't even bring himself to reprimand the teen for cursing.
"Aw, man," Tuck responded dropping onto the couch. "Are they gonna let us see her at least?"
"Yeah, they will," Ben said. I think.
"Well, that's good," Joey said at the same time Tuck was saying: "They'd better."
The three of them sat in the living room talking a little more. Miranda strolled in, smiling with her curls astray. "Hello, fellas."
Tuck and Joey reverberated the greeting. "Did your dad tell you the news?" The teens nodded. "Did he also tell you that we're not giving up?" Their boys nodded again.
So she really was on board? For the long haul. For the pain and tears and heartbreak that could soon follow. Ben made eye contact with his wife. "That's right."