Chloe braced her hands against the railing outside, knuckles turning white as she gripped it to steady herself. The wave of nausea that had settled in the pit of her stomach began working it's way up through the worry and anxiety that was currently constricting around her windpipe.
All of a sudden she found herself leaning over the rail and heaving up everything that had been eating her up since she landed in Georgia. As she continued to heave and retch, a comforting hand came to rest on her back, rubbing soothing circles. Aubrey.
The blonde had been right by Chloe's side when the redhead had made a dash for the exit, unable to breathe within the confines of the walls of the military hospital they had finally found themselves in after a restless flight, and a night spent in an apartment arranged by Aubrey for the duration of their stay.
This wasn't how Chloe had anticipated her morning going, but then, nothing could have prepared her for the news she had received from the doctor who had taken on Beca's case.
Beca. Her beautiful, intelligent, courageous fiancée. Hearing what she had been through, what she was still going through had been the straw that broke the camels back and whittled away at the last of Chloe's resolve.
She knew when she arrived that whatever she found waiting for her would be difficult to confront. But thinking it and actually hearing it, were two altogether different experiences, an experience Chloe couldn't possibly have prepared herself for.
When they had arrived at the hospital, escorted by General Posen himself, they had been formally greeted by Doctor Matthews and taken to a family room instead of a stuffy office, a clear indication that they were looking to spare as much pain as possible.
It was within those four walls that the true horrors of what Beca had faced had been brought to light, and Chloe's world bottomed out. To prepare her for what she would find within the hospital room, the doctor had gone into great detail about Beca's condition.
The solider, having been starved and deprived of proper nutrition over a span of 2 years, was currently being fed through a peg, the only way they could ensure her body was receiving proper nutrients in a manner she was capable of as she physically could not consume solid food.
Antibiotics were continuously being pumped into her system to combat infection from wounds that had not healed or that were healing poorly. It was then Chloe learned of the brutal whippings Beca had routinely been subjected to as a form of punishment.
Though Chloe hadn't seen the physical damage for herself, the image painted for her by the doctor had been enough to sear into her brain for life. Many scars now littered the once porcelain skin of Beca's back, permanently etched to her being to remind her of what she had been through.
The lashing were so severe, they couldn't rest her on her back due to more recent open wounds being drained of infection, and older scar tissue still too sore and sensitive to the touch.
Many of Beca's organs such as her kidneys, which had been on the verge of shutting down, were currently being monitored hourly in the hopes of reviving them to a state of better health.
There were numerous superficial burn marks and scaring on various parts of Beca's body, signs that other tools had been used to inflict suffering and torment.
But the most difficult, most gruesome detail to bear, the one that horrified them the most, was knowing that Beca had lived through having both of her legs gouged and pierced with a flaming hot poker in what had been planned to be a final line of torture prior to execution, a mere day before she had been rescued.
With the delay in medical intervention, and Beca already battling infection, the presence of sepsis had become a medical emergency, and with no other option, both of her legs had been amputated above the knee to save her life.
Standing outside the hospital catching her breath, Chloe could feel the weight of what was to come settling itself upon her shoulders and she almost buckled. But she couldn't, not now, not when Beca was back within reach. She needed to be strong, she needed to push everything else to the back of her mind and move forward.
Because no matter how difficult or hard Chloe found it, it would never come close to comparing to what Beca was going through.
The soldier had two years of her life ripped away from her. Two years of the people she loved most thinking she was dead. Two years at the merciless hands of savages who would rather watch her suffer than put her out of her misery. Two years of knowing she had been betrayed by her closest comrade.
All because of Chloe.
"This is all my fault," Chloe sobbed, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand.
Aubrey frowned, dazed by her best friends statement because it made no logical sense to her whatsoever.
"Chlo, how could this possibly be your fault?" Aubrey asked, the exasperation in her tone evident to anyone who heard her. Chloe heaved out a heavy, stuttered breath wiping at the tear drops rolling down her cheeks.
"If I had just focused on the tour instead of getting caught up in my own feelings then Beca's life would've carried on as normal. Instead she's h-here," Chloe cried and Aubrey shook her head fiercely, tugging roughly on Chloe's arm so that the redhead had no choice but to face her.
"NO! Chloe this is not on you this was all Chicago. He did this. He's the reason Beca is here, he's the reason for all of this," Aubrey said, her tone laced with annoyance, not at Chloe, but at the thought that she was taking responsibility for somebody else's grotesque and selfish actions.
"Chloe, Beca is the love of your life and you are without a shadow of a doubt hers. You guys were meant to be together, anyone with eyes could see that. Don't ever let what Chicago did make you think otherwise."
Chloe turned her head towards the hospital, gazing up at the multi-storey building and gesturing with her hand.
"Yeah but this, she doesn't deserve this," Chloe whispered and Aubrey shook her head.
"No she doesn't. But Beca is a soldier. She risked her life every day to serve a greater purpose and with that comes the consequence of knowing that your life would always be in someone else's hands. And all of us, every last one of us knows that had those hands been yours and not Chicago's, she wouldn't be here right now. She would be home safe with you. Because that's how much you love her."
Aubrey was right, Chloe couldn't change what Chicago had done, hell she couldn't even guarantee he wouldn't have lost control at some other point irrespective of her presence in Beca's life. That didn't mean it didn't hurt her knowing she was the common denominator between what Chicago had done and where Beca had ended up.
War always came with risk. Conflict always came with risk. Chloe just never thought for a second that she would've been the conflict that led to Chicago's actions that irreversibly damaged the person she cared about most in this world.
"Her legs Bree," Chloe gasped, the realisation of just how badly Beca had been mutilated by those savages consuming her.
"I know," Aubrey replied swallowing thickly around the lump in her throat at the thought as she linked her hand with her best friends and gave it a comforting squeeze, silently letting her know she was there for her.
Beca had always been a fit, active person, everyone that knew her knew that. The fact that her body had been mutilated in such a way as to try and deprive her in any was was unfathomable.
However none of that mattered to Chloe. She didn't care how Beca's body might look or how different it might be. The fact that she was alive, that Chloe had a chance, was all that mattered.
But she knew Beca would struggle, and they didn't yet know the full extent of just how much this had all impacted her mentally. For all the talk of Beca's physical scars and injuries, the ones that would cut the deepest and hurt the most, would be the ones no one could see.
Yet Chloe knew that no matter what, even if she had to pick Beca up and carry her for the rest of her life, that she would do it. Somehow she would find a way to get her through this. Because to Chloe, nothing she faced in all of this would ever compare to what Beca had endured for two years.
And that was what she needed to remind herself of as she moved forward. No matter how difficult things might get, no matter how much Beca might try push her away, Chloe needed to stay strong and hold on.
She was aware of the fact that the Chicago situation was still hanging over her head, and that at some point, she would have to tell Beca the truth, but for now her priority had to be making sure Beca pulled through her immediate health challenges.
Everything else could wait, for now. Gazing back up at the hospital Chloe wiped away the remaining tear residue and took a deep breath.
Once she stepped foot back in that hospital, she was committing herself fully to whatever lay within the hospital room that Beca now called home and there would be no going back.
Raising her hand, she gazed at the diamond ring sitting upon her finger and drew strength from its presence. Because Chloe wasn't committing herself to a cause, she was committing herself to the love of her life.
They may not have had the chance to vow in sickness and in health, till death do they part, but she vowed in that moment to live by those sentiments regardless of their legal or romantic status.
With one final breath, Chloe tightened her hold on Aubrey's hand and together they made their way back inside the hospital to find Dr. Matthews so Chloe could finally reunite with the woman she had mourned for and yearned for since that fateful day two years ago.
They found the doctor stood outside his office speaking with General Posen and as the women approached he turned to face them, hands resting inside the pockets of his white coat as he asked the one question that was hanging in the air.
"Are you ready?" He said, gazing directly at Chloe.
The redhead straightened at his words and pulled back her shoulders, bracing herself as she nodded her head and mentally prepared herself for what was to come.
"I'm ready"….