Chloe spent days by Beca's bedside, watching as she drifted in and out of a pain killer induced haze, never fully aware of her surroundings.
When the solider had spiked a fever, it had hit Chloe harder than she could've imagined. She wasn't used to seeing Beca this vulnerable and dependent.
She was so drained, so fragile, the complete opposite of the solder that had kissed Chloe goodbye as she left for her last mission.
Luckily the fever had only lasted two days and the drugs to combat infection were winning. Doctors were still concerned about her kidneys, but they were comfortable with her current status as long as they stayed at their desired level.
Renal failure was something they were desperate to try and avoid. Beca would have enough to deal with moving forward without adding anymore stress to her already heavy load.
With the sores on her back also infection free, they had been able to add thick layers of padded bandaging so that they could at least lay her on her back from time to time to reduce the hours spent laying her on either one of her sides.
All of these small wins may have seemed insignificant to a casual observer, but they meant the world to Chloe. Every small win was a milestone in Chloe's eyes, and she would take every single one, because it meant Beca was fighting her way back from the brink.
Mid afternoon, as her energy levels began to lag, a text message from Aubrey with a selfie of herself holding a coffee cup with Chloe's name on it asking her to meet her outside, had the redhead reluctantly standing up to seek out the precious caffeine hit.
She didn't want to leave Beca, but her muscles were aching from sitting in that oversized armchair for days on and end, and she really did need a boost of something to keep her stamina up.
With Beca fast asleep and no immediate doctor or nurses rounds imminent, Chloe leaned down and pressed a kiss to Beca's cheek, promising her she would be right back.
Grabbing her handbag from the chair she slung the strap across her body and exited the ICU, making her way down to the garden area outside the hospital where patients who were able, could wander around and relax.
The second she stepped outside she spotted Aubrey, her best friend sitting on a bench, a takeaway cup in her hand and another sitting next to her. As she noticed Chloe approaching, she lifted the spare one out towards the approaching redhead and handed it to her.
"I figured you could do with a fix," the blonde said, a smile on her face as Chloe gratefully accepted the beverage and hummed her appreciation as she took a sip.
"Thank you," Chloe sighed as she took a seat next to her. Aubrey took a sip of her own coffee and then turned her gaze up to the hospital building.
"How is she?" She asked, gazing back at Chloe who was staring down at the coffee cup resting in her lap as her finger lazily traced over the plastic lid.
"As well as can be expected," she replied with a small shrug of her shoulders as she lifted her head to look at Aubrey.
"They ran more tests today and the doctors think that her kidneys are starting to stabilise," Chloe said and Aubrey smiled.
"That's great Chlo."
Chloe just nodded her head and then the tears came.
"Sorry it's just, it's really hard seeing her life this," Chloe cried as she wiped away the tears that had fallen.
Aubrey just shook her head and shuffled closer to her best friend, wrapping her arm around her shoulders and squeezing her tight.
"Hey you have nothing to be sorry for. This is bound to be tough. Nobody expects you to keep it all together all the time, it's not healthy. You need to let this stuff out," Aubrey cooed as she comforted her best friend.
Chloe nodded because Aubrey was right. She'd never been good at keep her emotions bottled up. It was something Beca used to tease her about. Chloe wore her heart on her sleeve, quite literally.
To the point there had been times in her life where her own emotions overwhelmed her because sometimes she felt too much and didn't know how to deal with it. That was where she and Beca had always balanced one another out.
Where Chloe felt and expressed almost every emotion freely, Beca was much more reserved. It wasn't that she was closed off from her emotions, she just didn't openly express them to everyone, mainly because Beca usually needed time to process her thoughts and feelings.
Being a soldier for so long had taught her to keep her cards close to her chest, that coupled with Beca's natural predisposition for not feeling the need to express her every waking thought or emotion had somewhat exasperated the issue.
That was where the balancing act came into play. Beca was able to calm Chloe's sometimes overwhelming emotions so she didn't become consumed by them. Delicately guiding her through the ebbs and flows instead of allowing her to be swept away by them.
On the flip side, Chloe was able to help Beca express how she was feeling so she could better communicate herself, encouraging her to feel open and to verbalise what she was working her way through rather than keeping silent. That she didn't always have to keep her emotions in check or be strong all of the time.
And it worked for them. Their differing ways of handling things helped them both not just to understand the other, but to understand themselves as people.
For Chloe to now be swimming against a tide of emotions and grief that had been unearthed the last few days had been a lot. But she was trying her best to remember what Beca would've said or done to calm her.
She couldn't afford to be swept away, not when there was still a long journey ahead. She needed to remember that it was a marathon not a sprint, that she had to pace herself and sometimes that meant releasing what she was feeling and allowing it to flow out so that she could then get back to helping Beca.
"I should probably go back inside," Chloe said as she sat up straight, wiping at her eyes.
Aubrey watched her for a moment, contemplating whether or not to say what she was currently holding in, but realising there wouldn't be a right time, she just had to bite the bullet.
"Chicago's parents called about the house," Aubrey started and Chloe just scoffed and shook her head.
"What part of I don't want any of it doesn't anyone get. That house means nothing to me. All it holds is memories I'd rather forget," Chloe shot back and Aubrey nodded in understanding.
"Chlo I get that, but I need you to see the bigger picture here. His parents want you to give up the house so they can sell it to cover legal costs for Chicago," Aubrey explained and Chloe jumped from zero to a hundred in a flash.
"WHAT?!" She yelled startling the few people scattered around the gardens. Aubrey shushed her and apologised to some people that were close by as she turned back to Chloe.
"This is what I've been trying to tell you for the last few days. His attorneys are arguing that due to the trauma Beca and the other soldiers went through they couldn't possibly have a clear understanding or be of sound mind to properly recall what happened the day they were captured. They're trying to get him off Chloe."
Chloe's face paled as she listened to what Aubrey had said. She was sick to her stomach. With everything Beca had been through to think that Chicago was now trying to worm his way out of it, after more or less admitting what he did.
Only, he never actually confessed. His expression may have told her everything she needed to know, and he may not have denied what he had done, but he had never actually verbally admitted to it either.
Chloe should've seen this coming, she should've known this would happen. She placed her palm against her forehead, rubbing it as her mind began racing with thoughts.
"Aubrey what the hell am I gonna do? He can't get away this! I won't let him," Chloe said, her tone resolute and Aubrey nodded her head agreeing with what Chloe said.
"Then you need to claim what's yours. If you insist on taking your share from the sale of the house, it will reduce the amount he would receive and it would give you some extra cash to put away for when Beca gets out of here," Aubrey reasoned.
Chloe scratched her brow as she thought about what Aubrey was saying and her friend was right. That house was more than just bad memories it was financial equity. Equity Chloe would need for whatever rehabilitation and medical needs Beca would have in the weeks, months possibly years ahead.
"You're right," Chloe sighed, resigning herself to the fact that she couldn't just brush Chicago under the mat no matter how much she wished she could.
Shaking her head and gazing up at the sky, Chloe heaved out a deep breath.
"Can you make the call? Tell them Chicago can take his half of the house, but I'll be taking mine."
"Of course," Aubrey replied, rubbing her hand up and down Chloe's back to soothe her and the redhead thanked her.
"I'm gonna go back inside, I'll see you back at the apartment?" Chloe asked, and Aubrey gave her a simple 'sure' before they parted ways.
All through the ride up the elevator and down the corridor to the ICU Chloe's mind raced a mile a minute as she pressed the buzzer at the double doors and waited for the nurses to buzz her in.
Hearing the lock release alert, Chloe pushed the door open and stepped inside, dumping her now empty coffee cup in the waste bin by the door and sanitising her hands.
Her feet carried her towards the room, towards Beca, without much thought or effort on Chloe's behalf. It was like her body was giving into the magnetic pull that had always existed between them.
As she stepped inside the room, she could see from Beca's creased brow and anguished expression that she was lost in a dream or a memory. Somewhere far too unpleasant for her already troubled mind.
Walking around the bed and discarding her handbag, Chloe sat down on the edge of the mattress and instantly grabbed a hold of Beca's hand, cradling it against her chest and stroking the length of her arm as she whispered reassurances to the the bed ridden soldier.
As Beca's eyes began to flutter open, Chloe pressed a kiss against the hand held within her own. With her free hand Beca sluggishly reached up to the breathing mask that was covering her face and pulled it down so that it was haphazardly resting in some way on her chin.
"I dreamed of you," Beca said her voice a little croaky from lack of use. Chloe's brow furrowed at this in question.
"What?" Chloe asked, as she edged closer on the bed so she was nearer the soldier and Beca swallowed to moisten her throat.
"In Af-afghan, I dreamed of you. You were with me. You…you kept me going."
Chloe's face softened at this as she gripped tighter to the hand she was holding as Beca allowed the mask to slip back over her mouth as she fell back to sleep.
As soon as Beca's eyes shut again, Chloe couldn't help the tear that slipped down her cheek as she felt the comment chip away at another piece of her heart.
How would she ever explain that in those two years that Beca was barely surviving and dreaming of her, Chloe was trying to rebuild some semblance of a life with the man responsible for this whole mess?
She knew that the depth of Beca's mental pain and anguish right now was being numbed and eased by the cocktail of drugs she was currently on and that it was only a matter of time before they would really start seeing the damage that had been done and that needed to be healed.
But the thought of adding to that already heavy load, was eating away at Chloe's conscience. How had her life become so complicated?