Thank you all so much for the reviews and messages about this story, I am well into writing it and cannot see an end just yet. I am so in love with it. I am working on some other smaller bits too, just maybe a tiny sequel to one of my other stories and just filling up time and space until inspiration hits for the next thing. Also, I am isolated with Covid in my bedroom. :( It has taken two years of been in a pandemic and I feel so very lucky to have not caught anything so far, but it finally caught me! It is only mild, and feels like aches, shivers and a mild cold so hopefully it will pass in a few days, so I am here, just writing and posting until the time ends.

Chapter twelve:

''That's disgusting!'' Rose's voice travelled across the open space of the greenery where they had come to a stop to rest whilst the horses had taken a drink from the stream.

''Well, you handled it pretty well, for a lady, of course.'' Jack laughed, ''and now you can ride like a man, and spit like a man.''

''I can't imagine that I would need such a skill. But thank you for the lesson, I shall endeavour to use it if the opportunity is ever arisen.''

Their spit had landed, side by side, within the stream and now floated off downstream. Rose was almost nauseous at the sight of it, until the ancient wooden rail which separated them from the water nearly gave way beneath her leaning weight and Jack instinctively caught her just as she was about to tumble into the water. Rose's stomach lurched on, as she tried to find the right way to keep the right side of the precipice as the wood plunged on ahead and landed in the stream. It was pretty shallow, yes, but quite a drop below. She seemed to teeter on the edge of the banking, with her heels digging into the soft mud being the only anchor for her feet. Despite his own accelerated heart, Jack breathed out steady.

''Listen to me,'' he squeezed at her hand, to ensure that she didn't move. ''I have got you.''

Jack's grip on her was going to slip, and then she would fall. He squeezed onto her hand as hard as he could, and she glanced up at him with such fear that it must have done something within him.

''I have got you, Rose darling. I will not let go.''

Jack's gentle tone seemed to calm her enough to listen, especially the use of her given name with an endearment. Panic wouldn't help, but calmness of the situation, no matter how severe it was. Jack immediately grabbed her waist, which she felt his very fingers dig into the flesh there, as she had gone without a corset. The fear which was once there seemed to have vanished as soon as his hands were there, upon her stomach. It was a place where another man had never touched her. Not even when she had been carrying a child. It shook her alive to ensure that she remained safe.

''Don't let me go,'' she swallowed back the lump in her throat.

Jack grasped to pull her back with such force and he ended up slamming her against a thick tree trunk which was situated just behind them. The rush of adrenaline had floored him and he hadn't known his own strength. He panted, perhaps as hard as she had. The fall would have been frightening, and embarrassing but it had been prevented. Her own wits scattered about her as the sharp edges of the bark dug into the parts of her exposed back. Her hair caught upon the rigidness of it and Jack brushed it away to free the tendrils and their eyes met briefly and she felt her chest rise and fall; it seemed to match the unsteadiness of his own. The thud of her own heartbeat filled her ears, and she felt the urge to twitch in case it disturbed their reverie. The beauty of his face, framed by his hair which kept falling into his eyes in the process of him pulling her back from the edge.

''Are you alright?'' He managed to ask. All she could do was nod. Neither was sure of what to do. They were both completely mesmerised by the other. Her eyes had grown watery but she didn't know if it was from the near fall or the intensity of how he had pulled her back.

Jack's left hand was leaning against the trunk, while his right hand was around her back protectively; she had rested her hand on his waist and the other on his shoulder. Slowly, without thinking she began to stroke his hair. It was soft and long. Something she wasn't used to. Jack moved closer to her, his eyes not leaving hers. She nodded in response to his question. His hand shook as he moved it from the trunk towards her face, he stroked her cheek, feeling how soft and perfect it was. She closed her eyes and leant her face on his hand, feeling her stomach turn with nerves.

''You…you called me darling.''

''It was without thinking.''

''What were you thinking?'' She asked softly.

''What were you thinking?'' Jack shook his head, somewhat irritated-or affected. ''Leaning against that old thing?''

Rose whipped her head up, and retreated her hand from his hair. ''For heaven's sake, how did I know the thing was dangerous?''

His hands upon the small of her back was like a slow fire, burning and crawling up her spine. It agitated her in a way that she had never known before. Partly because it was happening beyond her control, partly because she knew that she could never stop it.

''You could have hurt yourself.''

''I was not the one who rode us along this way. I have no clue as to where we could even be. How did you even know there was a stream up here?''

''Because I walk here on Sunday's.''

Rose lifted her eyes to the large oak tree under which they were currently taking shelter, to the horse who were happily munching grass to their left and then, she was back to Jack. Jesus, she couldn't even think about anything. Her focus couldn't shift. Her energy levels failed when she was about him. He consumed her…and suddenly, she was mad.

''You're distracting me.'' She turned, her eyes bearing into him, full of such intensity. ''Go away. Go back to the house!'' Turning back to the horses, she was panting again; truly panicking or perhaps in a muddle.

''I wish that I could.''

Rose furrowed her brow, narrowed her eyes and squeezed them closed, as though trying to make sense of this. Of the man before her. Jack even contemplated his own sanity at this point. If he was caught out here, this way with her, in such a vast space, then she would be hot water and he would be fired. Suddenly, it felt as though there were pieces of snow floating past her vision, slowly it was going to cloud over and she blinked furiously in order to stop the episode approaching. Her body started losing its connection to the world and she felt heavy, almost floating…

Jack must have sensed, because as she almost dipped to the floor, he caught her and slowly, she was lowered to a soft bed of grass with his face above her.

''Easy.''

Rose was trembling below Jack, as his body almost covered hers. His hand was at her back, her clutching onto his shoulders fiercely as though her life depended on it.

''I am…fine.''

Jack felt her shudders, smelled how close her scent was, her breath and then, for one serene moment, drew himself away in order to examine her; their gazes were locked together in an intense reverie. Those wide, shining eyes, raked over him; the way which his shirt was badly buttoned, exposing his chest just a little, his hair was no doubt dishevelled and now hung in his eyes, and then, Jack, in turn, allowed himself to see how her erratic breathing caused her breasts to press to his thin shirt, her pumping heart could be felt beneath him and it matched his own. The tears flowed freely, and for a maddening moment, he was bewitched enough to almost reach up to wipe them away and croon excessively just how she would be all right now. That he wouldn't let her go…

Rose heard the horse whinny, she didn't know which one, but Jack glanced up to see that hers had separated from his and was wondering about the tree closeby.

''It's all right, they won't go far. Besides, you can't ride back.'' Determination fuelled her for a second, as she lifted her head from the grass to have Jack's hands cease her. ''Easy, all right, we nearly had you seeing the stars again. Have a moment.''

Why was his voice so stupidly relaxing, like a lullaby, and in a daze, she listened to him, as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt and placed it beneath her head to use it as a pillow. His vest was dirty from working in the stables, and she could smell his scent lingering about her and realised that she would happily wear it for the rest of her life as a comfort.

''I'm sorry. I don't know why I still feel as fragile as a kitten.'' Her madness toward him seemed to be forgotten for a moment.

''Because you don't breathe sometimes. Or you breathe too much. Its hyperventilation.''

''How do you know all of this?''

''An artist that I worked with in Paris. He would get that way before showing a new piece of art. He was brilliant but not so confident.''

''How could that affect me?'' She asked, feeling utterly ridiculous, laid as still as a log, glancing up at branches and thick plush leaves as they shaded the area.

''Maybe you're nervous.'' Jack suggested, and her entire world seemed to scramble about. Her fingers were linked at her stomach, as she fiddled with the stitching there of her dress. Felt how wonderful it was to not wear restrictive undergarments. How queer it was stretched out amongst nature. How handsome Jack was as he came to shift closer, to sit right beside her and suddenly, his hand was playing with the loose strands of her hair. Concentration fled, and that fear crept up again. Fear of what? Unknown. Her eyes closed as she relished the feel of his fingers tangling within her hair.

''Are you nervous?'' Jack asked, and her eyes flew open.

''No.''

He laughed, softly. ''Well, I am.''

Rose used her elbows to prop herself up until she was in a sitting position, in the most unladylike of ways. The sky was now painted mostly with a palette of purples, pinks and dark blues as the day completely faded away into the far corners of the sky.

''Why should I possibly be nervous?'' Her fire had returned. ''I have ridden a horse. I almost fell into a stream. I have nothing to be nervous about.''

''I have.'' Jack almost whispered.

Jack took a cool finger and moved Rose's hair over her shoulder to reach a daisy which had tangled itself into the slight beading of her collar.. The single touch sent that same shiver down her spine but then it turned to a fire, spreading down her back and her spine before reaching her belly and she sucked in a gasp.

Something in the air had changed then. His eyes were a stark blue in the light of the evening; charged with something which she hadn't witnessed until then. She could tell by the rise and fall of his chest, how he seemed to suppress the need to gasp for more air and when she finally noticed how smooth his chin was usually, and now he seemed to have gotten a shadow of hair upon his chin and upper lip; her unsteady hand was already reaching up to his cool face to touch it. Did he shave each morning and now that the hour was late, there was something so beautifully new about him? Had he had the same shadows across his face at the fair?

Her hand grew clammy for some reason as it brushed down against the tuft of growth, downwards and then to his neck and the top of his stained vest. It was forbidden territory. She had never even touched her husband in such a way. Her hand rested there; flat at the base of his neck and his breathing had swallowed and his heart galloped. Yes, he felt the same from her touch as she had from his own.

What was happening?

''You're nervous.''

He nodded, not taking his eyes away from her.

Time stood still. Pinned beneath his gaze, the intensity and exhilaration of it was exciting, wonderful and made her mostly curious as to what he saw when he watched her. Moisture seemed to come to her eyes and she toyed with the idea of removing her hand for fear of what would happen if she kept it right there. Adrenaline seemed to charge her body in some way as though it was bestowing a need within her. An urge to lower her hand, beneath the smattering of hair which she could feel below her palm. An urge to follow it down lower, and lower beneath his vest. The desire wasn't from a place which she had encountered before. It wasn't indecent at all; not like the way Cal was with her, or even looked at her; she had felt upon her on more than one occasion. Jack's desire seemed to have come about from the exchange just today, the longing had started at the gallery, when they had talked but now between them the heat seemed to rise. Her skin burned, tingled, beneath his gaze. Her eyes gathered about his body, slowly down and then back up. A flush came over her from the awareness of her feeling matching his own. His nostrils flared as he concentrated on the steadiness of his own breathing but his racing heart which she felt against her hand betrayed his cool exterior.

Both of their defences were down, lowered so far down that they were sharing the same world; finally. Rose was weak against his stare, forever pinned and feeling so utterly exposed beneath it.

''I shouldn't be scared. I am a married woman.''

Jack caught her meaning, because his tongue darted out to wet his lips. It wasn't nervous of being caught but of her feelings which ran so much deeper. She wasn't innocent, she had bore a child for heaven's sake, but there was something about Jack which made her feel utterly virginal. Untutored in the ways of so many things.

''If he finds me here, then I will take whatever he throws to me,'' he whispered.

''That would be my punishment. If he did come here, now. To see us this way.''

Jack shook his head. ''I would take you both with me.''

Neither knew what the destination would be. If there would even be one. But it would include Adeline.

Rose placed her cool hand at the centre of Jack's chest. It was just as smooth as she had thought but a small smattering of dark hair went downwards. Beneath the flat of her palm, Rose felt how his heart hammered just as hers did. His eyes shone, his hair falling into them in a way which seemed to seduce her right from the start. Rose was slowly seduced by him; the way in which he lived, the way he touched her and ensured she felt the most beautiful a woman ever should.

As Jack grasped her fingers, rubbing his own over them, he glanced down when he felt her heavy rings which bound her to Caledon Hockley. To another man.

''In France, there is the saying carpe diem. You ever heard that?''

''Seize the day,'' she translated.

''Yeah. Because the truth is, you never know what life will throw at you. I might be dead tomorrow. I take life as it comes at me. I like to make each day count the best I can. My folks dying taught me that.''

''Life is too precious to waste away. Even out here,'' she gazed across the lands which were owned by her husband and saw beauty in it all, but it wasn't her own paradise. Nothing felt like it was. Aside from the time with her daughter, and now, with Jack.

''Right. So you have to learn to take life by each moment. This could be my last hour living, it could be yours.''

The thought was terribly depressing but also true.

''Make it count then.''

''Yeah,'' Jack slowly and deeply breathed out. ''Make it count.''

As Rose drew in a breath to take, Jack sealed his lips across hers in such an urgency that he stole the breath from her and she wilted into his arms, as they seemed to catch her as she went weightless, boneless and almost collapsed with her pressing against his chest. He held her delicately, and in that moment, she knew that he was just as hesitant with her as she was with him. The territory was forbidden but yet the most welcoming one had ever known. It was unknown territory. It was barriers which were not meant to be broken and yet, in one single move he had swooped into her life and removed every single layer. He was passionate but not aggressive and as Rose regained some sort of composure, she threaded her hands into his hair and then cupped the back of his neck with the other, pulling his kiss in deeper. Both were too weak to hold their own weight, and knowing that the grass was behind Rose, Jack turned her, leaning her against the softness of his shirt.

In a testing move, Jack lightly pressed his tongue against her own, and she weakened, clutching onto his vest in her fists. It was enough to make the flames in her belly climb higher and she allowed him to claim her mouth with his tongue, twisting and turning before Jack moved to her neck, to her chin and she clung to him as the wetness trailed about her sensitive spots. His hands didn't move from her face, her shoulders, and he seemed to respect how far they should go.

He was breathless by the time his eyes found hers once more, with a glance at her flushed cheeks, he pressed his forehead to hers.

''Rose...''

''You're…you're right,'' she stammered. ''I..I am nervous.''

Rose stared at him through her heated daze. Jack's vest was hanging from his left shoulder, his hair dishevelled as much as her own. Feeling the urge to touch his entire belly, Rose felt the shivers of her own body as though adrenaline was the only thing running through her body, as well as the beautiful, overwhelming power to strip away all layers and be with him thoroughly naked.

Was it wrong to regret her marriage?

Was it wrong to conduct an affair with the footman?'

Was it right?

Cal had taken other women. Rose had known that much, but that was expected of a man, was it not?

What of women?

Neither knew just who would be the one to take the reins, who would lead this?

Where would it lead?

As the evening faded into a soft night, Rose could only lay with her head upon his chest, dazed and confused.