Chapter Ten

Bella

I almost didn't go to the parade but I decided that if I stayed home then Patrick would have won. He didn't want me to go out alone and the parade wasn't important to him so he couldn't understand why I cared. He had let me down before and each time he promised the next time, the next time… Well, I wasn't a good little girl who would do as I was told and go stay with his mommy while he was out planning my future for me.

As I made my way downtown I thought about what had happened recently. What was it with me? Did I have a sign on my back saying sucker? Did I look like I couldn't survive without some strong man to tell me what to do and keep me safe? It seemed I had been wrong about Patrick. He had changed recently, almost as if he thought he had got what he wanted and didn't need to concern himself with my needs or desires any longer.

What made him think it was acceptable to plan out my life? Did he think I was going to become a Magda clone who drank and flirted too much and spent the rest of her life getting her hair and nails done? I liked my gallery and I wasn't going to give it up for anyone without a fight. Not even Patrick if I married him and it was a big IF. That was if he ever got around to asking me.

Patrick was just like Edward. My every move would be choreographed for me and if I tried to do anything that didn't fit in I would be nudged back onto the tracks. I wasn't the type to sit around and look glamorous for his business associates and simper at their stupid jokes. I was lucky, I'd realized before I made a terrible mistake. I'd seen the trap just in time. He'd been working on me and on my mom and I hadn't seen it.

I wondered idly if I could persuade Jasper to teach Patrick a lesson or two. The idea made me smile but then I realized I still hadn't heard from Esme. For all I knew Jasper may have already left. My mood darkened. I had been excited at the thought I would see him, and be able to thank him for his kindness. For the past few years, I had lived my life blithely unaware that I had been watched and protected.

That made me wonder, would you have done anything differently if you'd known? I guess I would have been annoyed that he thought I needed a bodyguard even though he was right. After all, I hadn't done so well in the past against vampires, now had I?

Finding a good vantage point I settled down to watch the brightly lit floats pass by. There were lots of families here, children with wide eyes, excited to see the floats and knowing that Santa would soon be visiting. I wondered idly what it would feel like to have my own little girl holding my hand and jumping up and down impatient for the parade to pass. I sipped my now cold coffee and gave myself a stiff talking to. You keep thinking like that and you'll end up exactly where Renee and Patrick want you. Married and pregnant. The thought of bringing up a child in the dysfunctional atmosphere of that family gave me the shudders. If I did have a child and it was anything like me it would be a basket case in a week caged up in the family compound.

I would have to break it to Patrick that I was putting a stop to his planning. He could find himself someone else to manipulate like a Barbie doll, not me. Perhaps he should have stayed with Chelsea, she would probably have been happy to be his trophy wife.

All the same, I wished I had someone to share this evening with. Looking around I was the only person here who didn't have a companion. And now you're feeling sorry for yourself, Bella. For God's sake, pull yourself together woman.

At that moment the floats began to appear and they were wonderful. All the colors, the music and the costumed figures on the floats. I watched in awe as the fire eaters and acrobats went by wishing I was talented like that. Ask me to do a cartwheel and you might as well have an ambulance standing by complete with paramedics and an orthopaedic surgeon!

A sensation as if I was being watched flowed over me and I scanned the crowd that surrounded me. Esme had told me I was no longer in any danger but I felt nervous.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my arm and spun around in fright to find Patrick standing there, a huge smile on his face.

"Surprise!"

He pulled me close and kissed me theatrically much to my embarrassment although I doubted anyone was watching us. They were way more interested in the parade floats.

When I finally had a chance to take a breath Patrick had his arm around me and was leading me away from the crowds.

"What are you doing here? You told me that you wouldn't be back for the parade."

"I know but I missed you and I know you are angry with me."

"Oh really? How?"

"Well, I think the tenor of your voice on the phone was the first clue and then I spoke to Magda and she told me that you'd blown her off. Unless of course, I got it all wrong? Did I? I don't see your mysterious friend here."

"No, you didn't."

"Then let's find somewhere to get a drink and we can talk."

I would have preferred to watch the rest of the parade but the crowds had flowed into the space we had created and he was still guiding me away from the road. Deciding it would be better to go along with him I stopped resisting. We did need to talk.

We found a table at one of the cafes and Patrick ordered a soda for himself and a strong coffee for me. We sat in silence until the drinks arrived and the server had left.

"What did I do, Bella? It's clear you are angry with me and I'd like the opportunity to defend myself."

"Why didn't you tell me that Chelsea was going on the business trip with you?"

He smiled, "That's it? Bella, I needed someone and I knew you would hate the business trip. Besides, Chelsea has worked at the office so she knows the ropes. Next time I'll take you. How's that? Am I forgiven?"

I stared at him, did he think I would stoop to being jealous of Abigail's little sister?

"No, actually it's not."

He frowned, "OK, Fire away."

"Was there another reason you took her? And I don't mean to warm your bed."

He almost choked on the gulp of soda he had just taken.

"I'm sorry? I have no idea what you are talking about. You're going to have to spell it out for me, I'm a little jet-lagged."

"I'll give you a clue. The gallery. MY gallery." I placed great emphasis on that word.

He stared at me still frowning then understanding flooded his face.

"Right. I take it Magda spoke out of turn. I actually spoke to my father who suggested that it might be a good idea if I put out feelers to see if the gallery would sell easily. He was only thinking of you. It's not easy running a house and arranging business dinners and attending events without the pressure of running the gallery too. And let's be honest, once we have children that will mean more pressure on you. Unless you were thinking about getting a nanny. I guess I assumed you'd want to be home with them but if I'm wrong I apologize. I was going to discuss it with you and I would have all the possibilities covered."

"I must have missed something, Patrick. Did you already propose to me? I'm sure if you had I would remember it."

He colored a little and sat back, "Oh, I guess it was a little forward but I like to be prepared. I guess I just assumed you would say yes. After all, we've been together almost four years now. It's the logical next step. I apologize for hurting your feelings. We can shop for a ring tomorrow, will that get me off the hook?"

I closed my eyes, this is not how it's supposed to happen. Patrick just assumed everything. He still wasn't asking me what I wanted.

The silence stretched between us and I stared out the cafe window then froze. For the briefest moment, I caught a glimpse of Esme and Jasper before they disappeared into the crowds packing the sidewalk. I wanted to run after them but I knew my chance of finding them was slim to non-existent. So, instead, I just sat there staring at the spot I had seen them.

"Bella? Bella? Are you listening to me?"

I turned my attention back to Patrick, "Sorry. What did you say?"

"I thought we were having a heart to heart and then you just ignored me. I asked you what you wanted me to do. I understand that I've messed up big time and I want to put it right. So, tell me how to do that?"

I shook my head, I couldn't get that image of Jasper and Esme out of my mind.

"I don't know, Patrick. I don't know."

He grasped my hand holding it tight in his desperation, "Bella, I am truly sorry. Please forgive me. I love you and it's killing me that I've hurt you. I guess I got carried away. You know me, I'm a control freak at work but I try so hard to leave it at the office. I shouldn't have assumed you would agree to marry me although I think I had reason to do so. I should have talked things over with you, I see that now. I guess I allowed myself to be taken in by my father's words. My mother and Magda were both happy to live the life of a wife rather than a businesswoman. They found plenty of outlets for their energies but I guess you see things differently. If you want to keep the gallery then go ahead. When the children come along I'm sure you can find someone to take it over. It's your business and you can decide. Am I getting there?"

He looked so desperate that I found myself nodding, "Yes. At least you've acknowledged that I'm not like your stepmom or the other trophy wives. The gallery is important to me and I will decide what happens to it. I'd like to have control over my life, to decide what I do and where I go. I refuse to be dictated to."

Again I thought. This was Edward all over again but I'd never had the confidence to speak to him like this.

Patrick had relaxed, "Thank you, Bella. I do love you. Can I ask if we're still going to the cabin for Christmas? If not I'll have to talk to my father but I'd like to go. It will be romantic."

Again I nodded although I still had grave misgivings about it.

"Good. Right, let me buy you dinner and then we can talk about the future and you can tell me what you see. Then tomorrow, with your consent we can look at rings."

Esme

Things had been going well, I had guided Jasper closer to Bella than he had wanted to be and was just about to give him a nudge when I saw Patrick appear at her side. Jasper stiffened, his jaw set but he said nothing.

We followed them to a cafe and I was relieved when she saw us as I pulled him free of the crowd for a second.

After hearing their conversation I knew I needed a new plan so I left Jasper watching Bella and headed back to the apartment. Why were men so thick-headed when it came to feelings? And why did Bella have to give Patrick a second chance? Even I had recognized that he was a second Edward. The only difference was that Patrick acknowledged his shortcomings. He might promise to change his ways but it was an empty promise, I knew his type and Bella should too by now. I shook my head, these two young people needed a few more nudges or my Christmas wish was not going to come true.

I sat in the darkness trying to work out what to do next. Then I remembered the masked ball. Well, I had Jasper's promise he would help, that is unless he spoke to Carlisle in which case the game would be up and I would be facing some very difficult questions.

I didn't have much time before Rosalie and Emmett got here and although they felt Jasper was doing the right thing that did not mean they would be willing to help me push my star crossed young lovers into each other's arms.

They might have to go house hunting with me if they arrived before 3 pm, not that it would be a problem. Emmett was such a charmer that Chelsea would be putty in his hands. So far so good. I decided to do a little seasonal shopping on the internet before I checked in with Jasper again. I should make time to talk to Carlisle as well, I may have been angry with him but I still loved and missed my soulmate.

Happy with the work I had done I caught up with Carlisle as I made my way back to Bella's place. It was a good sign that she hadn't gone back to Patrick's. It was a sure sign that she was still mad at him. Good move Bella, don't make my life more difficult.

Jasper looked dejected when I joined him and when I heard Patrick snoring I understood why. He had wormed his way back into her affections even more quickly than I had imagined.

"What are her plans for tomorrow?"

"Not sure. He's still talking about looking at rings."

I smiled inwardly knowing that if Patrick ever got a ring on her finger she wasn't the girl I remembered. Subtlety wasn't getting me anywhere so here goes bluntness.

"Jasper, isn't it about time you got off your butt and made a move?"

"What?"

"You heard me. Why is it so hard to admit that you're jealous?"

"Jealous? Of what?"

"Jasper, I've been around long enough to know when a guy is in love with a girl. Sitting here scowling won't win her."

"Esme, I think the sun is getting to you."

"Really? So you've been watching over Bella all this time from some sense of guilt?"

"Yes."

"Excuse my language but that's absolute bull shit and we both know it. You're in love with Bella, it's not difficult to see. No man would do what you've done if they didn't have feelings for the girl."

"She's involved with Patrick. They're getting engaged."

"Do not change the subject. She's with Patrick because she doesn't know how you feel. She doesn't see what she is losing. We both know he's not right for her, he'll only make her miserable."

"He's offering her everything I can't. A full life, the possibility of a family. A nice house and a successful husband. She's better off with him."

"Don't you think that's her choice to make?"

"She's made it. I told you they are shopping for a ring tomorrow."

"You listen to me. Until he gets that ring on her finger she's free to choose. You aren't giving her that choice and you aren't giving yourself one either. Now stop hiding in the shadows. When you came back from speaking to her at that Halloween party you were a different man. You were happy, she makes you happy and I truly believe you will make her happy."

He shook his head, the one failing Jasper had was that he never thought enough of himself. I suspected that Maria had a lot to do with that and losing Alice hadn't helped.

"OK then. Explain to me why she has a painting of a Confederate officer on his steed hanging on her bedroom wall? Do you think that's a coincidence?"

"So that's what he was talking about. He asked her about a picture on her wall but I didn't know what he was talking about. He said something about her having a fixation with the valet."

"Exactly, she sees you at the party in costume and within days she buys that painting. Now call me an old romantic but I know what that says to me."

I left him alone after that to think about our conversation. If necessary I would drag him to Bella's feet but I would prefer he did it himself if possible and time was running out.