Colin, who had never been on good terms with Dudley, led them in silence through the castle. Dudley and Neville didn't speak either. Colin led them to a classroom. "They're in here," he said and left.
He was in a fairly small classroom; most of the desks had been pushed away to the back of the room, leaving a large space in the middle; three of them, however, had been placed end-to-end in front of the blackboard and covered with a long length of velvet. Six chairs had been set behind the velvet-covered desks, and Ludo Bagman and Gilderoy Lockhart were sitting in one of them, talking to Rita Skeeter.
Viktor Krum was stood in the corner, looking moody and Fleur was sat on one of the desks, looking bored. A paunchy man, holding a large black camera that was smoking slightly, was watching Fleur out of the corner of his eye.
Lockhart noticed Dudley and bounded forward. "Dudley! Good to see you—just the weighing of the wands ceremony, it's a formality! How have you been?"
He was wearing revolting robes in a peacock pattern today. He noticed Dudley looking at them and smiled. "Rita is doing a piece for the Prophet, so I wanted to look my best for the photo!" he said, beaming.
"Dudley, good to see you again," Rita said, stepping forward.
Dudley shook her hand. She had a very firm grip.
"Being keeping up to date with my work?" she asked. "Between us, Fudge is desperate for this tournament to go off without a hitch … and you and your friend have already ruined that. Two Hogwarts Champions—both underage."
She looked over at Neville and who was talking to Ludo Bagman. "Neville Longbottom isn't it? Rita Skeeter."
While she and Bagman talked with Neville, Dudley caught up with Lockhart. "Caused quite a stir, me being your mentor for the tournament," Lockhart said. "Rita did an excellent piece on it—did you see it? Here's my quote—I firmly believe Dudley when he says neither he nor Neville put their names into the Goblet of Fire and I believe Professor Dumbledore is correct when he says this a is a plot to kill or injure either of them. If the Ministry cannot be relied on to provide adequate protection for Hogwarts students, then I will take it upon myself to do so.' Good, eh? Fudge nearly had a fit!"
Dudley grinned. "Any word on if he's stepping down?" Technically, it had been Moody who suggested this was a plot to kill Neville or himself, but Dudley didn't bother to correct Lockhart.
"He's clinging to power—did Rita tell you, he tried to persuade the Prophet to run positive stories? No? Well, they refused—the Prophet's editor sees which way the tide is turning. They want nothing to do with Fudge now. Now, where's Rita, she said …" Lockhart trailed off. Both Rita and Neville had vanished.
"Rita said something about doing a private interview with Neville," Bagman said, sidling over. He looked quite put out. "Did Gilderoy tell you what this is? Wand-weighing ceremony. Nothing to worry about, Dudley. We have to check that your wands are fully functional, no problems, you know, as they're your most important tools in the tasks ahead," said Bagman. "The expert's upstairs now with Dumbledore. And then there's going to be a little photo shoot …"
"Speaking of, take a moment to straighten your uniform, Dudley—we're going to be on the front page, you know? You need to look your best. Shame you couldn't prepare beforehand, you could have worn the dress robes I got you—what do you think of them, by the way?" Lockhart said.
He was gazing so expectantly at Dudley that Dudley felt he couldn't say his true feeling about the dress robes. "Very nice," Dudley said.
"Excellent," Lockhart said. "From my own private tailor—would you believe there are some who say my robes are too extravagant? No fashion sense at all, Dudley. Wizards like us need to look our best.
Lockhart spoke about wizarding fashion—various designers and trends. He claimed that he inspired 1990's zebra print vogue after wearing it to a book signing. Dudley hadn't been aware that there even had been a 1990's zebra print vogue in the wizarding world, or anywhere else for that matter.
After a while, Dumbledore, Madame Maxime, Karkaroff, Crouch and, to Dudley's surprise, Mr. Ollivander the wandmaker appeared.
"Champions, if you can all take your seats, we will proceed soon. Are we all here—Viktor, Fleur, Dudley—where is Neville?" Dumbledore said.
"Rita took him for an interview," Bagman said. "Shall I …"
"Not to worry, you and Barty can get things sorted. I'll go."
Bagman motioned to the chairs. Dudley sat next to Krum who gave a tiny nod of recognition. Lockhart sat at the judges table in the chair next to Dumbledore. Karkaroff looked put out by this, Dudley noticed.
After a few minutes, Dumbledore returned with Rita and Neville in tow. Neville sat down wordlessly next to Dudley.
"How was it?" Dudley whispered.
"It was Ok." Neville answered, shortly.
"May I introduce Mr. Ollivander?" said Dumbledore, taking his place at the judges' table and talking to the champions. "He will be checking your wands to ensure that they are in good condition before the tournament."
Mademoiselle Delacour, could we have you first, please?" said Mr. Ollivander, stepping into the empty space in the middle of the room.
Fleur Delacour swept over to Mr. Olhivander and handed him her wand.
"Hmm..." he said.
He twirled the wand between his long fingers like a baton and it emitted a number of pink and gold sparks. Then he held it chose to his eyes and examined it carefully.
"Yes," he said quietly, "nine and a half inches...inflexible...rosewood...and containing...dear me..."
"An 'air from ze 'ead of a veela," said Fleur. "One of my grandmuzzer's."
So Fleur was part veela, thought Dudley, making a mental note to tell Ron.
"Yes," said Mr. Ollivander, "yes, I've never used veela hair myself, of course. I find it makes for rather temperamental wands...however, to each his own, and if this suits you..."
Mr. Ollivander ran his fingers along the wand, apparently checking for scratches or bumps; then he muttered, "Orchideous!" and a bunch of flowers burst from the wand tip.
"Very well, very well, it's in fine working order," said Mr. Ollivander, scooping up the flowers and handing them to Fleur with her wand.
"Mr. Krum, if you please."
Viktor Krum got up and slouched, round-shouldered and duck-footed, toward Mr. Ollivander. He thrust out his wand and stood scowling, with his hands in the pockets of his robes.
"Hmm," said Mr. Olhivander, "this is a Gregorovitch creation, unless I'm much mistaken? A fine wand-maker, though the styling is never quite what I...however..."
He lifted the wand and examined it minutely, turning it over and over before his eyes.
"Yes...hornbeam and dragon heartstring?" he shot at Krum, who nodded. "Rather thicker than one usually sees...quite rigid...ten and a quarter inches...Avis!"
The hornbeam wand let off a blast hike a gun, and a number of small, twittering birds flew out of the end and through the open window into the watery sunlight.
"Good," said Mr. Ollivander, handing Krum back his wand.
"Mr. Dursley?"
Dudley got to his feet and walked forward.
"Ah!" said Ollivander. "Now this is one of my father's inventions—I remember it well. Quite a difficult wizard to find a wand for, or, should I say—quite difficult to find a wand that will choose you," Ollivander said.
He inspected the wand from all sides. "Unusual combination—troll whisker and yew, 12 inches—long and swishy. The last wand my father made before he died. I hope it is serving you well?"
"Very," said Dudley.
He waved it, casting a spell to summon a large mushroom out of thin air. "Very good, you may go back to your seat.
Next, it was Neville's turn.
Ollivander frowned when he took Neville's wand. "Now, this wand was your father's—Oak and unicorn hair. 10 inches. A good dueling wand. But, I sense, it isn't fully aligned with yourself. Tell me, do you struggle with magic?"
Neville looked angry at this and didn't reply.
Ollivander, however, seemed to read his expression. "You haven't gained the loyalty of this wand, Neville. The wand choses the wizard and this one hasn't chosen you. You should visit my shop and select a wand of your own or you will always struggle. You live with your grandmother?"
Neville nodded. "She wants me to use this wand—it was my father's …"
"And a fine wand, for a fine wizard," said Ollivander. "But it is not your wand. I shall drop Augusta a line, advising her to take you to my store to obtain a wand of your own. You need it—especially entering the Triwizard Tournament. Albus, I believe there is a Hogsmeade weekend soon?"
"A week before the first task," Dumbledore answer. "I will arrange special permission for Neville and Augusta to take a trip to Diagon Alley. A one-off exemption."
"Excellent," Ollivander said, handing Neville back his wand.
Next, it was time for photos.
Krum, who Dudley expected would be used to this sort of thing, kept slouching behind the back. The photographer wanted Fleur to be front and center, but Lockhart, guiding Dudley by the arm, shouldered his way to the front.
"Big smiles," Dudley, he said, putting his hand on Dudley's smile.
The camera flashed.
"Edge across an inch," Lockhart said, out of the corner of his mouth. "See if you can block Delacour from view a bit."