She didn't look like Hermione at all. She had done something with her hair; it was no longer bushy but sleek and shiny, and twisted up into an elegant knot at the back of her head. She was wearing robes made of a floaty, periwinkle-blue material, and she was holding herself differently, somehow - or maybe it was merely the absence of the twenty or so books she usually had slung over her back. She was also smiling - rather nervously, it was true - but the reduction in the size of her front teeth was more noticeable than ever; Dudley couldn't understand how he hadn't spotted it before.
As Dudley stared at her, he realized her robes were the same color as his own and he felt even more self-conscious about the ones Lockhart had picked for him.
"Hi, Dudley, hi Luna," she said.
When the doors to the Great Hall opened, Krum's fan club from the library stalked past, throwing Hermione looks of deepest loathing. Pansy Parkinson gaped at her as she walked by with Malfoy, and even he didn't seem to be able to find an insult to throw at her. Ron, however, walked right past Hermione without looking at her.
"I think Ron is jealous," Luna said.
"Yeah, I guess so," Dudley said, uncertainly.
"He shouldn't be. Cho Chang is very pretty and nice too. She was never mean to me like some of the others," Luna continued.
"Yeah," said Dudley, not knowing what to say since he had never been in the position of being bullied and, indeed, up until recently, had usually being the one doing the bullying.
Once everyone else was settled in the Hall, Professor McGonagall told the champions and their partners to get in line in pairs and to follow her. They did so, and everyone in the Great Hall applauded as they entered and started walking up toward a large round table at the top of the Hall, where the judges were sitting.
The walls of the Hall had all been covered in sparkling silver frost, with hundreds of garlands of mistletoe and ivy crossing the starry black ceiling. The House tables had vanished; instead, there were about a hundred smaller, lantern-lit ones, each seating about a dozen people.
Dudley caught sight of Ron and Cho sitting near the top table. Ron was watching Hermione with narrowed eyes. Cho was looking irritated that Ron was paying her no attention.
Dumbledore smiled happily as the champions approached the top table, but Karkaroff wore an expression remarkably like Ron's as he watched Krum and Hermione draw nearer. Ludo Bagman, tonight in robes of bright purple with large yellow stars, was clapping as enthusiastically as any of the students; and Madame Maxime, who had changed her usual uniform of black satin for a flowing gown of lavender silk, was applauding them politely.
Gilderoy Lockhart had somehow managed to grab a spot on the top table, despite not being a judge. He winked as Dudley approached and gave a nod of his head causing the peacock feather to wobble.
But Mr. Crouch, Dudley suddenly realized, was not there. The fifth seat at the table was occupied by Percy Weasley. He was sitting next to Lockhart. The pair had been in conversation but as Dudley approached, Percy slid the chair out.
Dudley took the hint and sat down next to Percy, who was wearing brand-new, navy-blue dress robes and an expression of such smugness that Dudley thought it ought to be fined.
"I've been promoted," Percy said before Dudley could even ask, and from his tone, he might have been announcing his election as supreme ruler of the universe. "I'm now Mr. Crouch's personal assistant, and I'm here representing him."
"Why didn't he come?" Dudley asked. He wasn't looking forward to being lectured on cauldron bottoms all through dinner.
"I'm afraid to say Mr. Crouch isn't well, not well at all. Hasn't been right since the World Cup. Hardly surprising - overwork. He's not as young as he was - though still quite brilliant, of course, the mind remains as great as it ever was. But the World Cup was a fiasco for the whole Ministry, and then, Mr. Crouch suffered a huge personal shock with the misbehavior of that house-elf of his, Blinky, or whatever she was called. Naturally, he dismissed her immediately afterward, but - well, as I say, he's getting on, he needs looking after, and I think he's found a definite drop in his home comforts since she left. And then we had the tournament to arrange, and the aftermath of the Cup to deal with - that revolting Skeeter woman buzzing around - no, poor man, he's having a well earned, quiet Christmas. I'm just glad he knew he had someone he could rely upon to take his place."
Dudley was spared hearing more from Percy by Lockhart who leant over. "All ready for the dance, Dud?" he said, jovially.
"I am an excellent dancer myself. You should have come to me for lessons—I'd happily shown you a few of my moves," Lockhart said.
Luna was staring at Lockhart's hat and the long feather on top.
"I thought it was a Hootingjay feather, but now I think it is from a Nargowl," she said.
"It's … a … what?" Lockhart said.
"The feather in your hat—it's from a Nargowl—big owls with poisonous fangs."
"It's a peacock," Lockhart said, looking a little put out. "The noble bird—I have quite a liking for peacocks you know. My favorite quill is from a peacock feather."
"You can talk after dinner, Gilderoy," Lockhart's date for the evening, Mako Suzuki said. She nodded over at Dumbledore. Dudley hadn't realized but Lockhart and Luna had been the only ones on the top table talking.
Dumbledore, however, smiled. He looked carefully down at the menu on the table, then said very clearly to his plate, "Pork chops!"
And pork chops appeared. Getting the idea, the rest of the table placed their orders with their plates too.
Dudley looked through the menu and decided on the steak.
"Good choice," Luna said, ordering herself Shepherd's pie. "My favorite," she explained. "Daddy makes a good one—the trick is to add a dash of dirigible plums."
Dudley vaguely recalled dirigible plums as being weird, raddish things that Mr. Lovegood made jam out of. Dudley had never ate the jam. He suspected it might be in the bottom of his trunk—probably gone moldy by now.
"You live near Ron, don't you?" Dudley asked.
"Yes, there are a few wizarding families around Ottery St Catchpole," Luna said, nodding.
Dudley listened to Luna talk about growing up in a muggle area. Apparently her mother had been quite an experimenter when it came to magic and had gotten into trouble a few times with the Ministry thanks to her most noticeable charms and spells, including one which created a large, pink raincloud and another which had caused the trees in a nearby wood to start singing.
Dudley had never heard Luna talk of her mum before, but he noticed that she used the past tense when speaking about her. Even he wasn't dense enough to not realize what that meant.
In turn, he told Luna about his family and growing up with muggles.
"I would love to meet them," she said.
"Sure," Dudley said, a little hesitantly. His father HATED anything and everything out of the ordinary, and Luna with her dreamy expression and talk about Crumple-Horned Snorckacks and Fudge being a vampire or whatever her theory was definitely slipped into the 'out of the ordinary' category. Luckily Vernon was used to magic by now.
Across the table, Viktor Krum was telling Hermione all about Durmstrang. Karkaroff, Dudley noticed, didn't look happy.
"I wouldn't trust him," Luna said, in a low voice. She was looking at Karkaroff. "Daddy says his school has a really bad reputation."
"Yeah, Ron said the same," Dudley replied.
"He used to be a Death Eater, you know," Luna said.
Dudley almost choked out his butterbeer. "What … Kark … I mean."
Luna nodded. "Oh yes, daddy told me about it. He had a trial and everything."
"He's not in Azkaban now, so maybe he was innocent?" Dudley suggested, with a quick glance at Karkaroff. He narrowed his eyes slightly. Could it be Karkaroff who put his and Neville's name into the Goblet of Fire?
When all the food had been consumed, Dumbledore stood up and asked the students to do the same. Then, with a wave of his wand, all the tables zoomed back along the walls leaving the floor clear, and then he conjured a raised platform into existence along the right wall. A set of drums, several guitars, a lute, a cello, and some bagpipes were set upon it.
The Weird Sisters now trooped up onto the stage to wildly enthusiastic applause; they were all extremely hairy and dressed in black robes that had been artfully ripped and torn. They picked up their instruments, and Dudley, who had been so interested in watching them that he had almost forgotten what was coming, suddenly realized that the lanterns on all the other tables had gone out, and that the other champions and their partners were standing up.
"Come on, Dudley," Luna said, offering her hand.
Suddenly feeling very big and very clumsy, Dudley followed her out onto the dancefloor, taking care not to trip as he went. Lockhart gave him a big thumbs up as he passed. And Dudley was aware of a couple of students—notably Ernie Macmillan and his Hufflepuff friends and Malfoy and his Slytherin gang pointing at Dudley's feather-tipped beret.
Dudley did his best to avoid making eye contact with anyone else as he danced. He stared just over Luna's head, letting her guide him.
"There you go it's easy," Luna said. "Now give me a twirl."
"No way," Dudley said, deciding that an attempt at a twirl was just asking for disaster. Luna giggled.
Very soon, more and more couples joined the dance floor. Dudley found himself dancing next to Neville and Lavender. Lavender was wincing every now and again when Neville trod on her foot. Dudley was surprised that he himself with his big feet hadn't trodden on Luna's yet.
"Alright, Nev?" Dudley whispered as they danced past.
"No," Neville said, out of the corner of his mouth.
Dudley grinned, feeling cheered up that he wasn't the only one not enjoying this.
Lockhart was in the center of the dance floor. He hadn't been lying. He was a good dancer, and he twirled Mako Suzuki around extravagantly before tilting her backwards. He caught Dudley's eye and winked. "A nice tilt, Dud, knocks them bandy," he said.
Dudley envisioned himself tilting Luna and dropping her, so refrained from following Lockhart's lead. Mad-Eye Moody danced past, doing an ungainly two-step with Professor Sinistra.
"Dursley," he growled, giving a nod. "Lovegood."
"Hi, Professor," Luna said, brightly.
Dudley heard the final, quavering note from the bagpipe with relief. The Weird Sisters stopped playing, applause filled the hall once more, and Dudley let go of Luna at once.
"Let's sit down, shall we?"
"Yes," Luna said. "I don't like dancing very much. I prefer to sit and talk."
Dudley felt relieved as he headed over to join Ron and a moody-looking Cho Chang.