Corvus Gaunt was halfway through his breakfast when mail call came around.
The owls came upon them, descending from the heavens like angels, or in his case an annoying brat who wouldn't leave him along. His owl, Henry VIII, was a Blakiston's fish owl that his mother had forced upon him. Apparently, it had been a gift from someone Corvus couldn't remember, but it felt more like a curse, as the damn bird was a menace. He was loud, picky, prickly, easily offended, and liked to show off how big he was, so right up the Gaunt family's alley.
And in prime fashion, Henry VIII landed on the Hufflepuff long table with such force that several plates around him tumbled slightly. The brown feathered bird extended his wings to their full extent and chirped like he was a conquering king and the Hufflepuff first years were his new subjects. Corvus ignored his owl and continued to eat his breakfast, shoveling eggs into his mouth with renewed speed, as soon enough he'd have a challenger to his meal. Henry VIII was many things, and demanding was one of them, and he seemed to demand Corvus' food whenever he ate.
By the time Henry VIII had finished showing off Corvus had finished the last of his eggs and threw his fork down with a triumphant exclamation.
"Ha! Too slow Henry VIII!"
He received a wing to the face in response.
Flora and Hestia giggled at the sight while Ernie chocked on his food. Justin offered some backslaps to help dislodge the food and Hannah and Susan tried to hide their smiles behind their cups. Daphne didn't react like usual and simply sipped at her tea. Megan had nearly fallen out of her seat by contrast.
"What are you doing here anyway?" Corvus asked his owl as he removed a feather from his mouth.
Henry VIII chirped at him and waved his leg. If owls could roll their eyes than Henry VIII's would have been rolling their way to America. Right, it was mail call and apparently Corvus had mail. He took the letter and threw some bread at the bird. Henry VIII snapped it out of the air and then promptly spat it back out. Corvus then remembered that his owl ate exclusively seafood and asked for a plate of tuna.
Susan handed him a crab leg, and Corvus thought about asking where the girl had got it from, before deciding to cut his losses and just hand it over to the owl. Thankfully the leg was already cracked open, so Henry VIII didn't have to struggle with it, and Corvus didn't have to go through the process of feeding his bird.
"You've got a pretty owl." Hannah said.
Henry VIII squawked at that.
"Don't call him that, you're hurting his fragile masculinity." Corvus said.
"His fragile… what?" Justin asked.
"Masculinity."
"But he is pretty." Hannah said.
Henry VIII squawked again.
"Did you really name your owl Henry VIII?" Megan asked.
"I did, seemed like a good idea at the time." Corvus explained.
Henry VIII chirped in agreement.
"And by good idea I meant that the two of you share frighteningly many similarities."
"Wait, Henry VIII, as in King Henry VIII?" Susan said.
"Yeah, and before you ask, Henry is not married." Corvus said.
"Do owls even get married?" Flora asked.
"Why would an owl get married?" Ernie asked.
Corvus decided to ignore his fellow Hufflepuffs and Henry as he opened his letter and read it. Inside was a congratulatory letter from his mother about his sorting, though that seemed a little late, seeing as they were nearly a month into the school year. Nothing out of the ordinary concerning his mother however, and knowing the woman, he'd expect any reply he sent to be acknowledged only a month after the fact.
The Gaunt family was rather unique.
"Oh look, Potter's gotten a new broom." Cedric, who Corvus hadn't even realized had sat down next to him, said.
Corvus looked with everyone else as Harry Potter unwrapped his new broom and held up the Nimbus Two Thousand. It was rather nice to look at, and a complete waste of money, seeing as Professor McGonagall could have done something like buy the entire Gryffindor team new brooms instead of wasting it all on one person, but what did he know.
Though, now he had to prove to himself that he could fly better with an inferior school broom, and that might just motivate him to practice quidditch with the rest of the team like Richardson had been bugging him about. That also might explain why Cedric was sitting next to him instead of with the other third years. There was the scent of a conspiracy in the air, and it had to do with quidditch.
"You know, they say that he's just like his father." Cedric said.
"Yup, looks like him, talks like him, and probably flies like him." Corvus said as he tucked away his mum's letter and shooed Henry VIII away with a wave of the hand. His owl nipped at his finger and then left in a huff.
"And with that broom he'll be even faster."
"Indeed, he will."
"Which means we'll have to work harder to win against him."
"Right on the mark there Cedric."
"So, you'll come to practice then?"
"I'm not on the team though."
"As of yesterday, you are."
"So, you really gave up your spot as seeker for me?"
"Yes, we're winning the House Cup this year." Cedric said it with such intensity that Corvus felt suddenly motivated to practice quidditch.
"I guess I'll see you guys on the field later today."
"Good, this is going to be great Corvus, I can feel it."
It was, in fact, not great.
Corvus Gaunt hadn't felt this out of shape since… well since the last time he'd played quidditch, which was a lifetime ago. He knew how to use a broom like the back of his hand and catching the snitch was laughably easy as the damn thing liked to hover in front of his face. But Gary Richardson's drills were straight out of Dante's Inferno. He was the seeker for Merlin's sake, why did he have to go through the beater and chaser drills? His eleven-year-old body couldn't handle such abuse.
"Look on the bright side Corvus." Gary said as he looked down at where Corvus was lying on his back. "You'll make captain in no time."
"Fu… ck… yo…u… for…put…ting… me …thro…ugh… that… tor…ture…" Corvus panted out as his lungs burned like they'd been incinerated by Fiendfyre.
"That's the spirit!" The cheeky bastard gave him a thumbs up and everything.
Corvus tried to get a reply out but only managed to wheeze as his lungs refused to work with him. Nor were his legs cooperating, and neither was his abdominal muscles, hence the lying on the ground. Jesus Christ, he hadn't been this beat up from a quidditch practice in two lifetimes.
"You might have gone a little too hard with the practice Gary." Patricia Moon, not related to Lily Moon he had learned, said as she came over on her broom. The chaser didn't look like she had even broken a sweat through this torture-disguised-as-practice.
"Ah, everyone's like this during their first practice." Gary waved off.
"He's a first year though, and I hardly think he's going to be subbing in for the chasers anytime soon." Patricia pointed out.
"Well, since the snitch likes him so much the other balls might join in."
"Even the bludgers?"
"Okay, maybe not all the balls, but the ones that matter."
"They all matter."
Corvus attempted to stand again but only got so far as to one knee before his body gave up and he fell to the ground again.
"Anyway," Patricia said as she took out a potion and handed it to Corvus. "drink this and head for the locker room. Next practice won't be as bad. This was more of a hazing anyway."
Corvus drank the potion and managed to not spill any of it, which was a real feat, and soon enough his body was back in somewhat working order.
"This is why I didn't want to play." Corvus said as he chucked the little vial back at Patricia. "And a hazing? We're Hufflepuffs, we don't do that sort of thing."
"But we're the quidditch team, completely different." Gary pointed out.
"It's part of what makes the team a team." Patricia added.
"I'm starting to think that you're all masochists."
The grins he got in response weren't at all helping with that theory.
"They forced me through that torture gauntlet! I ssswear to the godsss, they are all demonsss disssguisssed asss humansss."
Corvus watched as Dave the Blind Basilisk moved slowly around the Chamber of Secrets. Even though he was blind Dave managed to move around without hitting the walls. It seemed that endlessly wandering around meant that he'd memories every bend and turn, even if it was in total darkness and now, he couldn't see a thing. It also got Corvus wondering about the lifespan of basilisks, and how the hell did Dave survive so long down here?
"You complain too much ssspeaker." Bob hissed.
"I'm not complaining." Corvus hissed back. "I'm pointing out how thisss ssschool endorsssesss child torture."
"Then why do you insssissst on playing that human game?" Dave hissed as he moved at a very sedate slither.
"Becaussse I have to. It'sss all part of my plan for world domination."
"World domination? I thought we were taking over Hogwartsss?" Bob hissed.
"There isss no dark lord to have come from Hufflepuff." Dave hissed.
"I could be the firssst though." Corvus offered.
Dave gave what could have been a laugh.
It was then that Corvus vowed to prove the giant blind basilisk wrong.
They would all learn to fear the Dark Lord of Hufflepuff!
The first thing that dark lords needed was minions to do their bidding.
That required delicate evaluation of his fellow classmates in the hopes that he would find suitable candidates for his growing faction. Said faction didn't have a name yet but he'd come up with it eventually. It would definitely be better than Death Eaters, because that just screamed terrorist organization, and Dark Lord Corvus wouldn't be leading one of those.
No, he would be leading a group of likeminded individuals who sought to expand their knowledge as well as to join him in their hate of quidditch drills that were actually fronts for child torture. They would use their minds and knowledge to outmaneuver the quidditch captains so that they would not have to practice beater and chaser drills when it was clear that he was a seeker and not anything else!
Which was how he found himself sitting in the library with Cedric Diggory and Hermione Granger.
"I don't know, Dark Lord of Hufflepuff? Sounds kinda cool." Cedric said.
"Don't call me that." Corvus said. "That would give people the wrong idea."
"But isn't this little group about dark lords? And why are you even claiming the title of Dark Lord of Hufflepuff? The line of Hufflepuff died out centuries ago so you can't claim the title. And even if you did claim the title that would go against everything that Hufflepuff stands for. Oh! Well, if you were claiming the title of Hufflepuff than that might mean you could change the meaning of the house and-"
"We don't have a name for our group yet though." Cedric interrupted Hermione as she rambled on. She seemed rather accepting at being one of Corvus' first minions. Maybe it was the lack of friends in Gryffindor, and maybe he was exploiting that for easy access to minions, but that didn't really matter.
"I'll get around to that." Corvus said and pulled out his notebook. "Now, the purpose of this meeting is to establish our group."
"We can't have a meeting without deciding upon a name." Hermione said.
"Fine, let's just call it the… The Benign Disparagers." Corvus said with a smile.
"The Benign Disparagers?" Cedric said with a confused look. "So, our initials would be TBD?"
"Exactly!"
"But what would we be disparaging? And if we're benign disparagers than why would we be disparaging from anything at all? Shouldn't we be giving helpful criticism instead?" Hermione pointed out.
"Do you realize that what TBD stands for Corvus?" Cedric said.
"That's the beauty of it, Cedric, no one would expect a group to be called TBD, and on your point Hermione, we would be disparaging anything we want to, like Gary Richardson and his hellish quidditch practice routines." Corvus said.
"That was only for one day, and it was more of a hazing than anything else." Cedric said.
"Besides the point! I nearly died!"
"He wouldn't have done that." Hermione said. "He's the captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team and responsible for all of his players and their health. It would go against everything and might get him expelled!"
"Indeed, see Corvus, Gary was just trying to keep you safe." Cedric said.
"He had a funny way of going about that." Corvus mumbled.
"Do we get our own badges? Since we're a secret society now." Hermione said.
"Secret society?" Corvus said.
"I thought this would be more like a club than anything else." Cedric said. "And maybe badges would be a good thing."
"I haven't got that far in planning this yet." Corvus said and then he got a brilliant idea. "I leave that task to you Hermione, to research and come up with ideas for the logo for The Benign Disparagers."
Hermione seemed a little too thrilled about being given work, but Corvus guessed that it was just a Hermione Granger thing.
"We also need a secret meeting location." Cedric pointed out. "We can't keep meeting in the library, it kind of defeats the purpose of secret society."
"We're not a… yeah that can be your job, Cedric. Find us a location for our secret society." Corvus sighed.
"I've got the perfect place for it!" The third year was smiling like he'd been waiting for this to happen. "No one would ever expect it!"
"Really Cedric? The Hufflepuff quidditch team locker room?" Corvus asked.
"What? No one would expect a dark lord to play quidditch." Cedric responded.
"He has a point Corvus, You-Know-Who didn't play quidditch when he went to Hogwarts. All the history books make that point." Hermione said.
"Thank you for that enlightening factoid, Hermione." Corvus said.
"Anyway, since we're going to be using this locker room, we might as well get the rest of the team on board as well." Cedric said.
"You do realize that this group is about hating quidditch practice drills, right?"
"No, you said this was a group of, 'likeminded individuals who sought to expand their knowledge'." Hermione pointed out.
"That's also part of it yes, but the main part if going against the quidditch practice drills."
"I'm sure that the rest of the team would join." Cedric said.
That would never work.
"The Benign Disparagers? What does that even mean?"
"It's an association of likeminded individuals who hate quidditch practice drills."
"I'm down, where do I sign?"
"Is this a club?"
"No, it's a society of likeminded and knowledgeable people."
"So… a club?"
"No! It's a… sure, whatever, it's a club."
"I love clubs! Where do I sign?"
"For someone who doesn't like to do work you're doing an awful lot of work with this club."
"It's not a club."
"But Varley said it was a club."
"I just told her that it was one so she'd join."
"Also, if this club is about hating quidditch drills, why are you recruiting all the quidditch players?"
"Because Cedric made the Hufflepuff locker room our club's meeting place."
"Ah! So, it is a club."
"It's not a club!"
"Corvus! I'm joining your club!"
"Gary, you do realize that it's about hating quidditch practice drills? Which you are directly responsible for?"
"I know, which is why I want to join!"
"But we're going to be making benign disparaging comments about you, as a person and as a captain."
"Constructive criticism is always good."
"…"
"So, when's the next meeting?"
"Of course I'll join."
"Eh? Join what? I'm not even-"
"Don't worry Corvus, I know, and I'll join."
"But-"
"No need to fret child, Tonks has got it covered."
"Nymphadora, did you just refer to yourself in the third person?"
"It's Tonks! Just call me Tonks!"
"I would like to join your club."
"Merlin save me! Don't sneak up on me like that Daphne. Nearly gave me a heart attack."
"You're only eleven. You can't have heart attacks."
"That's what you took away from that?"
"Yes."
"Fine, welcome to the club."
"I would like to call this meeting into order!" Corvus Gaunt shouted to be heard.
They were all huddled in the Hufflepuff locker room, and he hadn't realized just how many people had signed dup to be in this club until he had them all in front of him. The entire Hufflepuff Quidditch Team as well as the reserve team was present. They also had some non-member Hufflepuffs mixed in as well as a Gryffindor in the form of Hermione Granger. Bob the Adder also insisted on coming to this meeting as well as all of the first year Hufflepuffs.
It was to say that this was not what he had in mind when he thought about forming a secret society. This many people couldn't keep a secret if they tried.
"Now that everyone's here. We can start with our first meeting of The Benign Disparagers-"
"Do we get badges for this club?" Ernie asked as he raised his hand, completely interrupting Corvus.
"What? Yeah, we're still working on that." Corvus said after looking at Hermione, who nodded.
"Is this going to be a weekly thing? Or are we just meeting whenever?" Varley, one of the beaters, asked.
"Uh, that's still to be determined, Cedric make a note of that." Corvus said.
Cedric had been appointed as the minute taker after choosing this club location.
"Now, since we're all here, we can begin with the-"
"Why are we in a locker room? This doesn't really seem like the place for a dark lord to work in." Susan said.
"Who said anything about dark lords?" Corvus asked.
"Well, the club sheet had it as a title." Susan held up said sheet. Clearly marked on the top was "Dark Lord of Hufflepuff" and "Leader of The Benign Disparagers."
A part of him was surprised that no one had kicked up a fuss about being part of a club that was led by a supposed dark lord.
"Just ignore that." Corvus said. "And don't spread that information around. This is supposed to be a secret club."
"What's Benign Disparagers mean?" Justin asked.
"It's a play on words." Gary pointed out. "The Benign Disparagers, TBD, get it?"
"No."
"Guys! Let's focus here." Corvus yelled for attention.
"Are we just talking about quidditch? Or are we disparaging anything we want to?" One of the beaters asked, Corvus couldn't remember the guy's name, thick shoulders, and squarish face.
"If we're being led by a dark lord does that make us acolytes?" A member of the reserve team asked.
"I think so." Gary said.
"Jesus Christ." Corvus sighed into his hand.
Bob hissed at them all and slithered around the room.
"I'd like to point out that we're holding this first meeting simply to get to know everyone." Cedric said. "Make introductions and that sort of thing."
"But we all already know each other." Ernie said.
"Well, time to make new friends." Corvus said. "And Hermione! I need to see those logo designs."
Said logo designs were not only detailed, but they had clearly taken some inspiration from past dark lords. At least there wasn't any swastikas to be found, though seeing what was a mishmash of Voldemort's Dark Mark, Grindelwald's logo, and an intermixing of cartoon badgers, didn't really raise his hopes.
Where had she even found examples of the Dark Mark in the first place?
"Do you like it?" Hermione asked. "I think it gives off the right feel we're going for with the club. Secret society and also Hufflepuff."
Well, he had given her the task of making a logo, and this monstrosity did look rather well put together.
Club meetings became a weekly thing that they'd do, though Corvus was surprised that they had even agreed to that, seeing as each meeting was less of a meeting and more of a variation of poorly controlled chaos.
But it worked in its own way, and September turned into October, and the club meetings persisted. They didn't really do anything of importance at the meetings and complaining about quidditch practice drills got old after about half a meeting in. So now it was basically like an afterhours club that didn't serve alcohol.
Though that might change for Halloween.
"Are we going to have a party?" Ernie asked.
"What?" Corvus asked, looking up from the potion ingredients he had been cutting.
"For Halloween that is. There's still a feast for the entire school, but we could do something special, just for us."
"That sounds nice." Justin said as he stirred his own potion from besides Ernie.
"Isn't Hufflepuff doing its own party already?" Corvus asked.
"Yeah, but this is for The Benign Disparagers!" Ernie said.
"You do realize that almost all of Hufflepuff are members of TBD, right?" Justin said.
"Yes, and I'm still confused on how that happened." Corvus said. "How did we even get all of them to join?"
"Eh, there hasn't been a dark lord from Hufflepuff." Hannah added. "I guess it sounded interesting."
"And you're a Gaunt as well." Hestia said. "Which makes it double as special."
"Great." Corvus said as he handed Daphne the next ingredient, or more like he held his hand out and Daphne snatched it away from him.
"So, are we having a special party?" Ernie continued.
"Sure, I'll just let Hermione know and she can organize it." The girl had a frighteningly efficient ability to organize things.
"We might need a bigger room though." Susan said. "The Hufflepuff locker room can't hold more than twenty people without getting uncomfortable."
"We'll just use the Room of Requirement." Corvus said.
"What's that?" Flora asked.
"It's the… I'll just show you guys after class."
Showing them the Room of Requirement had turned out to be a massive mistake.
Though, it was interesting to see that the club meeting room they needed or wanted was in fact just a replica of the Hufflepuff Common Room. There were lots of couches and chairs and tables and space for anything they might need. This was the Room of Requirement after all and apparently a Halloween party was what they needed.
Corvus explored the room with everyone else and found that it indeed was an exact replica of the Hufflepuff Common Rooms, down to the hidden stashes of firewhisky and everything. There was also an animal pen filled with live badgers, so there was that, and what looked like an entire quidditch pitch?!
"Why haven't we heard about this before?! This is great!" Cedric said as they all took in the quidditch pitch that seemed to defy the laws of physics. There was no possible way that this entire thing fit inside the Room of Requirement, which was part of a castle, which definitely did not have this much space available to the seventh floor.
It was safe to say that the club meetings got more out of hand after they moved locations.
But at least they now had all the space in the world, and that meant the Halloween party was on, which was something he immediately handed off to Cedric to give Hermione some support. They were now promoted from minions to henchmen, and any good dark lord knew how to delegate, so delegate he did.
"Pomona, where are all of your students?"
Everyone looked towards the Herbology Professor and the Head of Hufflepuff House, then towards the empty Hufflepuff table, and then back towards the professor.
"Oh, they should be arriving eventually, no need to worry."
This was the Halloween Feast! All of the students were supposed to be in attendance. Not that it was a mandatory feast, but no one skipped the Halloween Feast unless they were stricken with injury or were otherwise unavailable to attend. All of the other students were here as well as all of the professors and everyone had noticed the empty table in the middle of the Great Hall.
"So, you don't know where your entire house has gone and disappeared to?" Minerva McGonagall asked.
"I know that they're still in the school."
Pomona Sprout was being uncharacteristically cryptic about all of this. Half of the professors who noticed this didn't seem to care however and simply remained focused on their own food. Dumbledore was more focused on the Gryffindor table than anything else, so he probably didn't even notice the missing Hufflepuffs. Snape despised any feasts and preferred to eat alone in his office. Flitwick was actually sitting with some of his seventh year Ravenclaws and was in a lively debate about something.
It was like no one had noticed the fact that a quarter of the school's population had just up and disappeared, and no one was at all concerned about this! Minerva had just decided to get up and do something about it when Professor Quirrell burst into the Great Hall yelling about a troll before promptly fainting.
Then the screaming started.
"WHY IS EVERYONE SCREAMING?!"
"WHAT?"
"WHY IS EVERYONE SCREAMING?!"
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU. WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
"WHY IS… oh for the love of Morgana." Corvus gave up abusing his vocal cords and instead made his way through the screaming crowd of Hufflepuffs towards the center.
He left them alone for five minutes and it all devolves into chaos.
What he found when he reached the center was in fact not worthy of a quarter of Hogwarts' student population screaming their heads off. It came close to it, however. In the center of the crowd was two seventh year students in what could only be described as an arm-wrestling match. Both of their faces were contorted into strained grimaces, and they were using so much force in this arm-wrestling match that their faces were starting to go red from exertion. It was almost scary enough to warrant calling in some medical attention.
Almost.
"KICK HIS ARSE OGDEN!"
One of the two competitors, Ogden apparently, grunted as he tried to do just that.
"COME ON BOOTHROYD! I'VE GOT GALLEONS RIDING ON THIS!"
The other competitor, Boothroyd, struggled to get Ogden's arm down.
Everyone had gathered around the pair and were screaming their heads off. Corvus rolled his eyes and had to work in order to get out of the crowd. Not everyone had lost sense of their rationality and Corvus made for that group. There was Daphne and Hermione sitting off to one side and it looked like Hermione was actively trying to explain something to Daphne and only getting some blank look in return. Not at all unexpected but Hermione seemed determined to get a response out of the other girl.
Corvus decided to steer clear of that mess waiting to happen.
It looked like some of the sixth years had set up a poker game in one of the quieter corners of the room. Corvus decided to ignore the gambling and alcohol that hadn't been here when the party started and instead made his way towards a table so that he could actually eat something this Halloween night.
He only just sat down when he was met by two familiar voices.
"Hello there, oh Dark Lord of Hufflepuff."
"It's been a rather long time since we've heard from you."
"And we were starting to wonder if you had forgotten about us."
"Fred, George, why are you two even here?" Corvus looked at Idiot One and Idiot Two as they sat across from him.
"When we heard about your party we just had to come." Fred said.
"Its technically not my party, and please don't call me a dark lord in public, I get enough looks for being a parselmouth in Hufflepuff." Corvus said.
"Well, no need to be all down about it, Dark Lord Corvus." George said.
"And since you are the leader of the… The Benign Disparagers, it is your party." Fred said.
"I didn't think we'd get this many members so quickly." Corvus said.
The entire concept of the secret society turned club had only been around for about a month and they had already recruited all of Hufflepuff as well as some Gryffindors apparently. Things had gotten a tad out of hand, and he wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the school had joined in after about a year. Also, everyone seemed to be okay with the fact that they were being led by the 'Dark Lord of Hufflepuff', and that should have been more concerning than it actually was to Corvus.
"I must say that this is a little different to how we thought it would go." Fred said as Boothroyd won the arm-wrestling match and the cheering increased threefold.
"Yeah, I have to agree you, and I wonder what the rest of the school is doing, seeing as the entirety of Hufflepuff is here." Corvus wondered aloud.
It was only then that he remembered something about a troll causing trouble during the Halloween of 1991.