The streets of Queens were ablaze with the colors of dawn on this Wednesday, March 23rd. For the students of Midtown High, it was a typical school morning; their minds were still clouded with sleep, but the presence of their classmates quickly invigorated them, and it wasn't long before the school's hallways were filled with a tide of voices.
Peter and Ned were waiting outside the door of their computer room in the first floor, their backs pressed against the wall and their backpacks at their feet. The ebony-skinned boy dozed a bit, so he rubbed his eyes regularly to stay awake. They came earlier than usual to put some of their stuff in their lockers, then they went upstairs to get away from all eyes. This was their ritual, a mechanism perpetuated for as long as they'd known each other. They both had excellent grades and many skills in various areas, but just being a fan of pop culture was enough to make small groups of students look down on them and make fun of their interests behind their backs. The spider superhero found this ironic, as the snippets of discussion he heard from both sides of the corridors were far more childish and superficial than theirs.
Peter let out a sigh... Unlike his classmates who didn't know what they were going to learn during the day, the young man already knew the subjects and the course of the classes. The topics studied, the duration of the lessons over the weeks, the exercises proposed, the answers to the teachers' questions and said exercises... It was systematically the same refrain. His school life remained exactly the same in all the timelines he experienced. This greatly helped him to improve in subjects where he was a little weaker than others and to fine-tune his enhanced metabolism so that he could perform at his best in sports and decathlon without arousing suspicion about his powers. However, as his daily life at Midtown High was repeated like a video on constant rewind, Peter had to listen his teachers recount their lectures that he'd heard many times before as a time traveler, while keeping the mask of the attentive and quiet prodigy student so that no one would pay attention to him. His days now seemed horribly long, and the fake, stifling atmosphere within the walls of the high school tired him even more than a night of patrol. The only reason he continued to go there despite his weariness was Ned and MJ; his best friend's conversations and bad jokes always managed to draw the shadow of a smile on his lips, while the girl genuinely enjoyed the duo despite her detached nature.
After fifteen minutes of silence, the doors of the floor suddenly creaked. Peter turned his head toward the source of the noise, and he saw Flash's silhouette at the other end of the hallway. There was nothing unusual about his presence, since he was attending the same classes as the two friends. However, as the brown-haired teen watched him carefully, he noticed something different about the newcomer: his face showed no sign of vanity or arrogance. On the contrary, he looked morose and withdrawn. This strange character intrigued the web slinger... Usually, Flash never missed an opportunity to flaunt his status as the heir of a wealthy family to whoever gave him some of his time. Many turned a blind eye to his average results and his egocentric behavior due to his membership in a privileged class, because everyone knew that he had the means to afford a comfortable lifestyle without being worried by possible sanctions. Here, the brown-skinned young man seemed to make himself as quiet as possible, as if he was trying to isolate himself in a remote place far from any human contact.
As Peter began to wonder about Flash's unusual attitude, the two students suddenly met each other's eyes. There was a moment of hesitation, during which neither of them made a move... Then, after a few seconds of suspension, the wealthy teenager turned his head to the left, his features showing panic and apprehension, before running off to the toilet. The spider boy's eyes widened at the unexpected reaction of the bully... The latter normally took advantage of the slightest occasion to show off his luck and popularity without restraint, no matter the time of day or the reason for receiving spikes. However, this time Flash didn't try to approach the duo to insult them or even laugh disdainfully at them from a distance; he immediately turned away at the sight of his main victim of his inferiority complex. Peter was so surprised by what just happened that he remained frozen like marble for several minutes, until he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. The familiar gesture briefly startled him, but he recovered immediately when he heard Ned's voice.
"Are you okay, Peter?" He asked with a worried look. "Something's wrong?"
The young man took ten seconds to sort out his mind, then answered his friend:
"I saw Flash coming upstairs."
"Oh yeah?" Ned yawned so much that he didn't hear the doors to the hallway open and didn't have time to see the scoundrel.
"Yes... We watched each other from a distance for a moment... But he immediately looked away and went somewhere else."
"Really?" The ebony-skinned boy exclaimed, his eyes wide open.
Peter nodded. Ned remained silent, then his shock became gradually more composed.
"Come to think of it, it's not the first time he did it."
"What?" The spider boy wasn't expecting that remark.
"You've noticed it, right? Flash hasn't been around the others since the beginning of the year, not even us. His old group of friends has drifted away from him, and he stays alone and silent during the day. We don't even hear him talk in class anymore. There were rumors for a few days about this change in his behavior, but I don't have any more details about it because they disappeared quite quickly."
The young man watched his partner in crime warily... Since he was restarting a loop from March, he had only vague memories of the previous two months, so he was recalling what happened before he "woke up" through Ned or MJ. Occasionally a few details might vary between the tries, such as teacher absences or surprise tests that add grades to students' report cards, but nothing distinctive. However, this was the first time Peter noticed such a change from someone he regularly see in his daily life.
"Heh... As long as he leaves us alone and we don't have to listen to him talk about his ego, I won't complain." Ned continued nonchalantly, leaning his head against the wall behind him.
Peter didn't say a word after this statement and looked away again towards the other end of the corridor, looking thoughtful... He understood his best friend's feeling, and a part of him was also relieved not to be obliged to shave the walls anymore in order to escape bullies at the end of the classes. That said, seeing Flash's face tinged with sadness didn't make him happy... The teenager considered the wealthy heir an unpleasant person, even irascible on his worst days, but he never really hated him. What caused this change in character? Why did Flash suddenly find himself all alone? Why was he so sullen and quick to reject the spotlight he once wished he could grab? So many questions without answers.
The ringing of the bell cut off his train of thought. The quiet of the floor disappeared, and packs of students came out of the door one after the other. Peter watched the hallway fill with people with a deadpan expression, then sighed.
Another long morning begins.
And so the hours passed. Again the same lessons, again the same tone of voice of the teachers, again the same themes that the Spiderling now knew from every angle. Peter mechanically wrote down the lessons of the teachers before they pronounced them in order to give himself an occupation to deceive boredom, while keeping enough attention to answer their questions if he was questioned at the bend of an explanation. Fortunately, the adults preferred to question other students rather than him, which allowed him to spend his time thinking about something other than his schooling. As soon as he finished writing the day's lessons, he scribbled a few notes on all the thoughts that were going through his head, then erased them before writing new ones, letting the hands of the clock turn indifferently.
Finally came the last subject of the day: math. As Peter expected, his teacher called out to the class that they were going to do a surprise test, and then handed out the papers to the students, telling them that the test would last all hour. While most of the teenagers were grumpy about taking a test just before the end of class, they were all absorbed in their papers after fifteen minutes. The room fell silent, and the only muffled sounds that could be heard were the scratching of pens on paper. The spider boy stared blankly at the white page speckled with ink words on his desk, his head resting on his left hand... This math exam wasn't difficult; it was simply a test of knowledge to ensure that the high school students understood the methodology for solving complex formulas. Thanks to his memories of the future, five minutes would have been enough time for the young man to complete the test. However, if he handed in his paper in such a short period of time, everyone would wonder about his disconcerting speed, and he knew very well how quickly a rumor can lose all proportion and spread like wildfire in a gossip-loving environment like school. Peter found a way to avoid this: he spaced out each of his answers by two or three minutes in order to delay his departure by about half an hour, while regularly observing which classmate was leaving. When he saw three of them leave and was sure he had answered the questions correctly, Peter put his things away, stood up and put his paper on his teacher's table. He made a discreet hand gesture to Ned before walking out the door, who returned it with a small smile. Once out of the classroom, he breathed a small sigh of relief, and then headed for the exit of the school.
Good. Classes are finally over. Now let's get to work. He thought with determination. Since May was exceptionally staying overnight at the hospital, he could spend the rest of the day as Spider-Man.
Peter wandered down several streets in Queens, skirting the major avenues of the borough until he arrived at the bus graveyard. He cautiously checked that no suspicious presence had followed him before slipping inside through the gap. A small breeze circulated between the metal totems, caressing his skin as he approached the center of the dump... Despite the smell of rust and the thin curtains of dust that covered the dilapidated vehicles, the young man found in this place a safe haven that was close to the one he knew a long time ago at the Avengers Tower. The small, fenced-in area was like a sacred shrine honoring the passage of these broken metal giants, whose mere treading on it purged his soul of its torments and dark thoughts. This place was his kingdom, his fortress of solitude, his miniature world apart from reality. As long as he was here, the spider boy felt at peace and free of all illusions and pretenses.
After a few minutes of walking, Peter arrived in front of an old school bus: its faded gray color and its unusually long length distinguished it from the other carcasses of the dump. Half of the front seats had been removed, leaving only the back rows available for seating. Although it no longer had its wheels, the windows and door remained in good condition, able to open and close as desired. Since it was located at the foot of four mountains of broken vehicles several meters high like protective turrets, it easily escaped the gaze of the curious, which made it an ideal hideout for the young man. The web slinger entered the bus, then silently closed the door behind him. He sat down in one of the back seats, put his backpack on his left side and pulled out all its contents on his right side; his Spider-Man costume was folded inside a plastic protector, while his arsenal was stored in a large box.
As the loops repeated, Peter took time to reflect on himself as a superhero: his superhuman metabolism and enhanced healing made him an excellent fighter who could stand up to the likes of Captain America and Winter Soldier, but he was powerless against the likes of Doctor Strange and Scarlet Witch, who had magical powers. His physical abilities didn't work against spiritual abilities. Another point that handicapped him in battle was his lack of defense: apart from his web-shooters, he had no other means of defense than his fists and kicks, which made him particularly vulnerable to enemies with guns and daggers. So, since he had the capacity to remember his previous iterations, the young man used the unlimited time granted by the time loop to correct his shortcomings; he created a brand new suit with the same material composition as his old StarkTech uniform (without the advanced technologies and his personal artificial intelligence Karen, since he no longer had access to Tony's lab) and built himself various handmade weapons: in addition to his web-shooters, Peter added a retractable fighting stick, smoke and blinding bombs, and a taser to his superhero arsenal. There followed long, solitary training sessions in the bus graveyard, beating up trash in the dump and developing his reflexes to the max, gaining experience and learning from his mistakes with every patrol he made. Now, after more than a dozen timelines and countless hours of learning, the teenager became the undisputed heroic guardian of New York. His spider sense and instinct were as sharp as a sword blade, and he could now take on entire groups of criminals on his own and without suffering a single injury. The inexperience and naivety of his early days were gone... Peter knew how to stop the threats that came his way by himself.
After a brief check of the state of his equipment, the young man took off his clothes and exchanged them for his suit: while it resembled in form the one Tony gave him in forgotten times, the dominant colors of vermilion red and blue had changed to carmine red and black. He had long black gloves on his arm, and the spider symbol previously adorning his torso was displayed large on a sleeveless, dark-hued hooded jacket. Once he had covered his face with his mask and strapped his weapons around his belt, Peter hid his backpack under the bus seats, covered the benches entirely with a worn blanket recovered during a mission, then finally exited his lair, carefully closing the door before setting off to roam his city at the end of his webs.
Within seconds of flying, he spotted three hooded men hiding in an alley preparing to rob a jewelry store. The superhero instantly landed at the other end of the alley, removed the pin from one of his smoke bombs and threw it at the bandits. The latter exploded three meters away from them, releasing a huge amount of white smoke on impact. The second they were blinded and disoriented by the blinding haze, Spider-Man dashed towards them at full speed and knocked them out one by one with his battle stick, all in absolute silence. No words, no jokes, no taunts... Nothing. Stealth was his best weapon to defeat his opponents. He then tied up the criminals with his webs and put them down at the entrance of the alley for the police to arrest them, then he went back to swinging from one skyscraper to another through the districts, ready to intervene at any moment.
The sun gradually disappeared behind the clouds, and with a snap of the fingers, the astral vault gave way to the night sky. Peter was resting peacefully inside his lair, again dressed in civilian clothes, curled up on a seat next to a window and watching the stars; in one afternoon he prevented three traffic accidents, an attempted mugging and two burglaries. He also helped a few people find their lost pets and returned a lost child to his mother. All in all, it was a pretty busy day for the spider superhero. However, it didn't bother the teenager at all... Even though his optimism and innocence are dead and buried six feet under, he never gave up his empathy for others. As long as someone needed help, he didn't hesitate to reach out. Every life he saved in his own way, every smile that lit up the faces of the innocent, every accident he stopped before it happened, put little sparks of warmth back into his frozen heart.
After half an hour of silence, Peter contemplated his reflection on the window... Small black circles appeared on the edge of his eyes, and his irises briefly turned emerald green before returning to their original brown hues. When was the last time he slept more than four hours? The young man couldn't remember. When his body collapsed with all its weight on his bed when the tiredness of his double life caught him up, his mind was plagued with nightmares. He saw himself at the funerals of his family members, or on Titan shortly after Tony and other members of the Avengers died after the final battle against Thanos, without being able to do anything to counter these tragedies... The mere sight of these scenes immediately woke him up in a cold sweat and a throbbing heart, and he couldn't fall asleep after that. Every time he closed his eyes, the shadow of his survivor syndrome came back to haunt him and reminded him that his existence was extended at the cost of the lives of his loved ones. Peter preferred to spend his nights listening to music and staring at the ceiling of his room until he surrendered for a short time to Morpheus' arms. Shortly after he started looping, the teenager noticed that his irises sometimes had a green tint, appearing sporadically depending on his emotions. It was easy enough for him to link this singular color to the Time Stone, as he had seen the cosmic gem in Doctor Strange's hands several times. The young man didn't know exactly how this phenomenon manifested itself, but he learned to keep a certain control over it so that only he could observe it.
Peter then realized that March was almost over. Previously, he would worry about Adrian Toomes and his identity as a super-villain... However, that was no longer the case. The day after he "woke up", the first thing he did was to find the alien weapons supply that allowed the man to become the Vulture long before him. Since he knew who was the leader of the trafficking of materials from outer space and where the collection site was, the spider boy was able to directly cut off the evil at its source by sending an encrypted message to the Avengers Tower via one of the computers there to give to the billionaire the location of the traffickers' hideout so that he could retrieve them. As a result of this pre-emptive move, the alien weapons were seized by Iron Man and Adrian Toomes' terrorist plans were crushed. The Vulture never saw the light of day, hundreds of people were saved and massive property damage was prevented. As for his encounter with Tony... The young man wasn't really worried about finding his former mentor sitting on the living room couch anymore. He no longer posted videos demonstrating his superheroic actions, and he deleted his YouTube channel entirely in the process. While there were still clips of the spider superhero somewhere on the internet, many of them were of poor quality or too short to attract curiosity. No one would be interested in a ghostly figure with no identity.
Several minutes passed, during which Peter stared stoically at the metal totems around him. Looking up briefly, he noticed that the sky looked cloudier than when he had returned to the bus graveyard, a sign that it would soon rain. The teenager took a few seconds to collect his thoughts, then let out a sigh before standing up and stretching. He'd better get home before the deluge. Once his muscles relaxed, Peter grabbed his backpack, rearranged the blanket on the back seats and silently walked out of his den. The young man then skirted a path between the valves leading to the breach at the foot of the fence, slipped through without difficulty, and finally took the direction of his apartment.
I don't expect anything from fate anymore. The Spiderling thought in the middle of his road. I will no longer cling to false hopes or promises. I can't depend on anyone and I have no right to be happy as "Peter Parker"... But that's fine. I've come to accept it. I may not have any reason to exist, but Spider-Man does.