The next morning, Peter found himself staring up at his bedroom ceiling, wanting more than anything to be lost in the peaceful grasp of sleep. However, he knew that was nothing more than wishful thinking. Peter hasn't had peaceful dreams in several years, and the world had never been kind enough to give him back that luxury. Part of him wanted to blame it on the life of being a superhero, but Peter wondered if that was being too close-minded. He just had the worst luck, and it was nothing more than that.

You've got that Parker luck, Pete, Ben told him one time. Some people see it as a curse, but in my eyes it shows us that the world knows how strong we are. We don't cave under pressure.

Peter wouldn't call it anything other than a curse, and nothing could change his mind. Especially after everything that had happened to him over the years.

Also, if he was being completely honest with himself, he desperately missed the days where normal human medicine had been able to alleviate the smallest of aches, or soothed the nightmares away with the swallow of one sleeping pill. Peter tried to avoid that route as much as he could for the sole reason that he hated taking medicine with a passion. Instead, on the nights where sleep seemed too far away, Peter sought out his uncle who always came at his beck and call without fail. On those nights, Ben would take Peter back to his bedroom and the two of them would squeeze onto Peter's twin-sized bed. His uncle always sat on the bed with his back resting against the headboard and Peter would sit beside him, resting his head against Ben's shoulder. Sometimes he would just talk to Peter, telling stories of how his parents had met, and about how happy they were to find out they were having a son.

I've never seen my brother, your dad, smile so wide when they found out they were having the one and only Peter Parker, Ben had knocked his shoulder against Peter's. He called me the next day and said I was always going to be jealous of him. He had the perfect son and no one could tell him otherwise.

When the stories faded away and Peter still wasn't able to fall back into the realm of sleep, Ben would begin to sing softly. His uncle loved the Beatles, and he'd shamelessly sing their songs whenever he got the chance to. He'd sing under his breath while cooking breakfast on the stove, he'd hum 'a day in the life' while going to grab the morning paper... He'd sing "I want to hold your hand" on him and May's anniversary. The song he always reserved for hard times was "Yesterday". He would always hum the tune or sing the words whenever Peter couldn't sleep, and the sad tune was oddly comforting whenever it glossed over Peter's ears.

When Ben had died, Peter vividly remembered waking up in the middle of the night with the memory of his uncle bleeding out in front of him and Peter being helpless to stop his worst waking nightmare. Except this time, he was alone. Suddenly there were no more late night stories to chase away the remnants of whatever had woken him up in cold sweat, no more being sung back to sleep... No more cheesy Beatles song to lighten up the mood of a situation. Ben had always been the kind of guy to give someone a reason to smile, even if they were sad or in a bad mood. When he died, it was almost like Peter lost any reason to smile. He knew that he could've gone to May with any problem that he had, but he always felt awful bothering her about anything involving Ben. May had taken her husband's death hard, and struggled to mourn, be there for Peter, and taking up extra shifts to compensate for the hardships that got thrown on them overnight. She had been a hero through it all, and Peter had been the one with the spider powers. May had always been there through it all, and he just hoped he conveyed the same back to her. They were a team, and Peter liked to think they were a pretty damn strong one too.

Every year when October 1st came around, Peter always found it difficult to get out of bed. It was too tempting to stay under the covers and dream of all the what ifs and what could've been. May knew that too and had never pressured Peter to do anything that would make the day any worse than it was already destined to be. In the past, she had tried to take the day off from work to be there if Peter would need her, but being an ER nurse left little vacation time or personal time off. Peter knew May would never admit it, but she was relieved to be working on Ben's death day, it kept her busy enough where she didn't have time to dwell on the horrors of the day. Anyways, Peter preferred being alone on this day, it was easier to pass the day in silence than to fill it with hollow conversations.

When the clock on his nightstand hit six in the morning, Peter turned his head to see the faint light streaming in from the curtains of his window, signifying the dawn of the new day. Sitting up in his bed, Peter cupped his face in his hands and took a few deep breaths in a feeble attempt to calm himself down and shake off the lingering melancholy feeling that always came with this day.

Off to a great start, Pete, A small voice chimed in his head sadly. Maybe the real reason you like to be alone on this day is so that people don't get to see you at your lowest.

If he was being honest, Peter never had the intention of sticking around to face the conversations that Alex and George would undoubtedly try to engage. It was no offense to them, but Peter didn't really like talking on this day, he just didn't have the energy for it. Anyways, May wasn't the only one who benefited from being busy. Peter's definition of busy, however, just included a spandex suit and spider powers. Digging into his nightstand, Peter pulled out three of his special protein bars and quickly forced them down, ignoring how his mouth felt like it was stuffed full of cotton. He was glad he remembered to bring them with him into his room last night, it provided him with the perfect escape opportunity without the risk of running into anyone on his way to the kitchen.

Once Peter pulled on his Spider-Man suit and his mask was securely on his face, he made his way over to his bedroom window. Pulling his curtains off to the side, he unlatched the window and slid it open. Just as he went to climb out of his bedroom, he found himself pausing mid-step. Looking over to the notebook on his desk, Peter bit his lip and looked between the paper and his escape route.

It was the thought of George and Alex's reaction to him running off during the football game that made him decide. May knew him well enough to understand why he felt inclined to spend the day as his alter ego on Ben's death day, but the last thing he wanted was to spark up any negative memories that George and Alex had gone through.

Walking over to his desk, Peter flipped the notebook to an empty page and grabbed the pen that was resting off to the side.

I'm fine, just need some air. Will be home tonight. -Peter

With the note written, Peter took off at a run and dove out of his window, shooting a web to swing away from his apartment. When he was three blocks away, Peter perched himself on the corner of a six-story apartment building. A shiver ran down his spine and it was then that Peter realized that it was relatively cold out that morning.

"KAREN?" Peter called out softly, rubbing the sides of his arms in an attempt to spark some heart into his chilled bones.

"Good morning, Peter," KAREN greeted him cheerily.

"Can you turn on the Frostproof protocol?" Peter's request was immediately answered when he felt the heated system in his suit take away some of the chill. He sighed in relief at the distinct change.

"Frostproof protocol initiated," KAREN told him. "Your core temperature is resting steadily at 96 degrees Fahrenheit."

He smiled at his AI's infectiously happy tone. "Thank you."

"You are out quite early this morning, especially on a school day," KAREN noted.

Peter's smile fell off his face as quickly as it came. "No school for me, not today."

KAREN was quiet for a moment before her soft voice asked, "Shall I initiate your October Protocol?"

"Initiate it," Peter agreed sadly.

The next few hours passed by more slowly than Peter would've liked. The October protocol was in charge of monitoring the calls that KAREN picked up through the police scanner, allowing his AI to pick and choose which calls Peter was mentally okay to take on. Tony had helped design it after the billionaire saved Peter from almost getting himself killed on his first October as Spider-Man. He understood the younger boy's need to do something in an effort to right the wrongs he experienced that day, but Tony was not going to sit off to the side after Peter decided to take on too much. After a serious talk with the billionaire, the two of them sat down and designed the October protocol. Peter had never had a chance to use it before Thanos, so this was his first time where he was restricted on what he was able to do.

It wasn't that KAREN was restricting him from taking on any calls, but the crime on the streets was very minimal that morning. It got to the point where Peter resorted himself to do non lethal mundane tasks such as giving people directions when they were lost or helping people across the streets that required such assistance. The biggest thing that had happened all morning was Peter swinging someone to the hospital after they had broken their leg at a skatepark.

When twelve o'clock hit, signifying the start of the afternoon, Peter found himself on top of the building that he thought he'd never come back to. It was the building where Tony took Peter's suit back after the Ferry incident. The top of the building was surrounded with solid concrete rails that came up to Peter's mid torso and he was sitting on top of the concrete, his legs dangling over the edge as he watched the streets below him.

That's a lie, and you know it, Peter thought. You know exactly why you came back here. It's not the first time you sought out memories of the past.

When Peter first came back from the Snap, he spent hours in several places that just let him psych himself into thinking that everything else happening around him was some sick nightmare. One of the first spots that he came back to was the building that he was at right now, and it had been right after Peter found out about Morgan. It was the first time where Tony actually showed that he had listened to Peter, and it made Peter realize just how reckless he had been. He knew Tony could've handled everything in a better way, but he had taught Peter that he wasn't just Spider-Man, but he was still Peter Parker too. He really had been some kid who was desperate to prove himself, but once his suit had been taken away from him, it made him realize there was a difference between doing the right thing to prove yourself to someone and doing the right thing for the sake of it benefiting everyone else, even if it meant hurting you in the end. They both had screwed up, but Tony taught him something on that rooftop that stuck with him even till this day.

He picked up on the sound of repulsors three blocks away from him before he saw anything approaching him. He knew he could've ran if he wanted to, but knowing Tony, the billionaire wouldn't have given up that easily. Also, part of Peter wanted Tony to find him. Part of him was glad that Tony thought of him.

Scooting back on the ledge, Peter pulled his knees to his chest and rested his head against his legs. He might've not been in the mood to talk, but he made his choice. He wasn't going to run.

When he heard the Iron Man armor land on the rooftop, he heard the nanotech begin to retract, and Peter lifted his head enough so he could look at the clouds in the sky.

"Never thought we'd be back in this place," Tony's voice brought an unexpected wave of security over Peter.

Peter couldn't find it in himself to reply, and instead he just buried his head back into his knees.

"I know you said that you didn't like company," Tony's voice slowly came closer. "But I brought food."

Peter's traitorous stomach growled at the mention of food and it was loud enough where he knew Tony had also heard it. He heard Tony come to sit down beside him and the sound of crinkling.

Out of everything else, that caught Peter's attention and he looked up to see Tony digging through a brown paper bag. "Seriously?"

Tony raised an eyebrow at him, "Seriously what?"

"A paper bag?"

"What? Did you prefer it to be plastic?" Tony's eyes failed to hide his amusement. "That was a joke, if you couldn't tell."

"You know how much I hate plastic," Peter agreed.

Tony handed him two sandwiches, "Courtesy of Pepper."

Peter accepted the sandwiches wordlessly, unwrapping the plastic wrap so that he could take a bite of it. The flavor of the the bacon, lettuce and tomato washed over him immediately, but what got him to tear up a little was the avocado that replaced the mayonnaise that Peter had always hated. He had mentioned it once to Tony in passing, mentioning how he had always hated the taste of mayo and it had taken him forever to find a suitable replacement for it when making a BLT. Eventually MJ had been the one to tell him about avocado adding a nice flavor to the sandwich and once Peter had tried it once, he never looked back.

He looked at Tony in shock, "You remembered?"

"That you liked avocado on your BLTs? It's hard to forget something that sounds like an abomination." Tony shrugged as he took a bite of his own BLT.

"Says the person who likes mayonnaise," Peter returned before he comprehended what he was saying.

Tony chuckled, "You wound me, kid."

They fell into a comfortable silence as they ate their sandwiches. Peter was secretly glad that Tony wasn't trying to get him to talk, and the billionaire seemed to be perfectly content with sitting by Peter as the two of them watched as the clouds passed in the sky.

They must've remained silent for close to ten minutes before Tony broke it. "I was looking at your training schedule when you left last night. Natasha agreed to reschedule your session for next week if you're up for it. I didn't tell her why, I figured it wasn't my place to say."

Peter would never admit how much that gesture warmed his heart. "Thank you."

"For rescheduling your training session? I mean, you could've done it too, but considering the circumstances it really wasn't that big of a deal."

"Not about that," Peter shook his head, finishing the last of his second sandwich. "I mean about the training, but not about scheduling sessions. Just... thank you."

Peter could've sworn he saw Tony's cheeks slightly flush at that, but the billionaire held a strong poker face. "Don't mention it, kid. If you really wanted to make it up to me, you'd come over to the lake house this weekend."

There it is, Peter's shoulders tensed.

Tony, who saw Peter's change in posture immediately backtracked. "You really don't have to if it makes you that uncomfortable. You know I'd never do that to you."

Peter, who wanted to make the hurt disappear from his mentor's face, shook his head. "No, no, it's fine. I don't know why... I'll be there."

A small spark of hope flashed in Tony's eyes. "You really don't have to kid, not if you feel forced to do so."

Peter looked at Tony in the eyes, "I'll be there." The promise rang true in his voice. Surprisingly, Peter could tell that he meant every word.

Later that afternoon, Peter found himself back in his civilian clothes as he sat in front of Ben's grave. He could've easily stayed in his Spider-Man persona the entire day, but after little action success Peter had decided it wasn't beneficial for him to just push aside all of the emotions that would just come back to bite him in the future. He had been doing that too often in the past few months, and he was trying to figure out the best way to start to move on. His talk with Harry had opened his eyes that he had been acting in a similar way back when Ben died, he didn't like who he became in those first few months after losing the closest thing he had to a father back then. He didn't want to do that again.

Doesn't mean I don't miss him every single day, Peter thought sadly as he stared at the gravestone in front of him.

The weather had warmed up considerably throughout the day with the sun raising the temperature to a comfortable high 60s. He was comfortable in his loose midtown sweater and navy denim jeans.

"I didn't think I'd come by today," Peter confessed quietly to the headstone. "It's been awhile since I've been here alone."

The last time that Peter had visited Ben's grave was a month after he returned, but he hadn't been alone. Ever since Ben had died, Peter hated walking through the cemetery by himself because he felt genuinely haunted every time he was there. He never told anyone about it, but Ned had confronted him when he noticed Peter wallowing about it. After that, Ned had gone out of the way to always be there whenever Peter had wanted to visit his uncle. The shorter boy had never judged him for it, and that was something that Peter had always been grateful for.

In a split second, a shiver ran down Peter's spine and his head spun around as his sixth sense caused a wave of unease to wash over him.

Harry, who had two styrofoam cups in his hand, jumped at Peter's sudden movement.

"Jesus, Harry," Peter placed a hand over his racing heart.

Harry shot him a sheepish look, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's fine, I just... How'd you even find me?" Peter wondered, his eyebrows furrowed.

Harry held up the cups, "I brought frappes. Ned told me where you might be, he asked me to bring a peace offering."

The mention of his friend made a small pit of regret form in his stomach. He didn't say anything as Harry came to sit beside him and handed him one of the cups. Peter accepted the offering, taking a sip and relaxed as the sweetness of chocolate washed over him.

"I gotta say, I've never seen him so adamant about making sure you got ice cream," Harry chuckled. "He made me swear to make sure you got it okay."

Peter took another sip before he sighed. "Consider it a bittersweet tradition. He always said that it was the best coping method."

Harry hummed in agreement before taking a sip of his own frappe. "Did you know he got them from the Frozen Snowman?"

Peter froze at that, "What?"

"I know you mentioned that you used to go to that ice cream place with your uncle a lot. You said you hadn't been since... He said he wasn't trying to overstep, but he just wanted to show you that he was still there with you on that day, at least in a subtle way."

Peter's heart warmed at that... I had no idea... "I didn't know."

"He wanted to be here," Harry admitted. "But he didn't want to make your day any worse than it was already going."

Even though he hurt me, part of me wants him here...

"Are you really still mad at him?" Harry wondered.

Peter shook his head, "I haven't been mad for awhile. I just didn't know how to face him, maybe part of me was scared."

"Why? Ned's the least scariest person on the planet."

"Because... He really hurt me, Harry," Peter held the cup in between the palm of his hands, feeling like a little kid again. "I always heard people say that it hurts when someone close to you stabs you in the back, in a way he did. It wasn't the back, though, it went through my gut."

"He didn't mean it," Harry told him. "He shouldn't have let himself get put into that position, but you two have been friends for how many years now?"

"Seven years," Peter replied.

"Are you really going to throw away those seven years of friendship over one bump in the road?"

"I don't know what to even say to him," Peter confessed. "I know I hurt him too."

"Isn't it you who told me that bottling things up doesn't do anyone any good?" Harry asked kindly.

Peter's eyes tears up at that and he blinked furiously in an effort to make them go away.

"If it's any consolation, I had the pleasure of knowing Ben too," Harry told him kindly. "I don't know if it's my place to say this, but I don't think he'd want you to throw away someone as loyal as Ned."

I hate to admit, but you're right, Peter admitted to himself. I have to come to my senses, but you're right. I just hope it's not too late...

When Peter walked into his apartment that evening, he felt emotionally drained enough to want to go straight to his room and just sleep away the remnants of what had been a shitty day. Opening the door, Peter had half expected the apartment to be empty, but Alex was sitting in the common room playing a video game on the Playstation that rested just below the TV. At the sound of the door opening, the raven haired boy looked up from the TV and he paused at the sight of a disheveled Peter. Not even bothering to pause his game, Alex got to his feet and strode over to Peter, pulling him into a solid embrace. The older boy's chin rested on top of his head and his arms acted as anchors from where they were wrapped around his shoulders.

Peter, who didn't even realize what he was doing, wrapped his arms around Alex's back and just soaked in the comfort that Alex was clearly willing to give to him. They stayed like that for a few minutes in silence and Peter felt himself relaxing for the first time all day. He was not alone, he had someone there, someone who understood more than he gave him credit for.

When Alex pulled away, his hands never left his shoulders, "How you doing?"

Not the standard 'are you okay?' It's 'How are you doing?' Peter reflected. "I'm okay," He told Alex truthfully. "Just really glad it's almost over."

"May said she wanted to be here..." Alex began.

"Trust me, Alex, I know," Peter replied truthfully. "She needs it though, I know she does. I'll be fine, nothing some sleep won't fix."

"You do look a little rough around the edges."

Peter chuckled at that, "Yeah, I feel it too. I'm just gonna turn in early tonight. I really need a shower and then there's a bed that just has my name written all over it."

Alex studied him for a moment longer before he let go with a sympathetic expression on his face. "Okay."

Peter, biting his lip in thought, pulled Alex into another quick hug before he could think twice about it. "Thank you."

Alex reciprocated the gesture immediately, his grip was firm as if he wanted to show Peter that he wasn't planning on going anywhere.

After Peter bid him a goodnight, he walked into his room and closed the door behind him. Fifteen minutes later and after a long shower, Peter made his way towards his bed. As he went to plug his phone in, he saw that he had a singular text message from Ned, and out of pure curiosity he unlocked his phone and read it.

Hey, Pete, I know you hate people asking if you're okay on this day, so I'm not going to do it. I hope you're not mad that I wasn't there today like I promised I would, but I didn't know how my presence would've settled with you. I miss you, dude, and I have so many regrets, a lot of which I have to live with and can never take back. I'm still there for you and I'm not going anywhere. I'll find a way to show you how sorry I am, even if it takes a decade. Me and you against the world. I made that promise and I swear to you, I'll keep it until the day I die.

A tear fell on his phone after Peter finished reading the message and he felt himself caving in easier than he thought he would've. He just was so tired of being sad and angry, and he missed his friend so much. He knew Ned had a kind heart, and he just couldn't find it in himself to throw away what they had over a mistake. A colossal mistake, but still a mistake all the same.

It's the way you handle the bumps that will either shatter what's been built or create a stronger new foundation from the imperfections, Uncle Ben's words washed over him once more.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was dialing Ned's number with a spark of determination.

Was it good? Was it bad? Feel free to let me know!