The funeral was two days later. They buried Rebecca under her rightful last name of Cartwright and laid her beside Marie. Adrien almost did not make it. As they put Rebecca in the ground, it was as if someone was putting a knife in her chest and twisting it over and over and over.

For weeks afterward, Adrien was almost like the walking dead. She never laughed, never smiled, never talked, never ate, and never slept. She just sat in her room looking out the window. If she ever did speak, it was only to Adam, and that was rare. When she did speak, it was only in a whisper. But, Adam was never allowed close enough to touch her, much less hear what she was saying. She kept Rebecca's room like a shrine. Everything was in its place. The bed was made. The rocking chair was right by the window. Every once in a while, she could be found sitting in the rocking chair stroking a doll's hair, and humming Rebecca's favorite lullaby, not afraid to let the tears fall.

It was scenes like this that tore Adam to pieces, but he understood her pain, and wished that he could do something, anything to help her. He began to wonder if the doctor had been right. Maybe this had broken her.

There was one morning that Adam got up and could not find her. Immediately, he panicked and headed out to the lake, praying that she had not met the same fate as Rebecca had. He didn't find her there. He checked at her house and found that she had moved all of her things back and was planning on living alone again. He protested.

"Adam, I can't live under your family's constant scrutiny." Was her answer.

He still tried to plead with her, but it was useless.

The summer dragged on. Adam spent most of his time with Adrien. Slowly, she began to come back a little bit, but her eyes were still small pools of pain.

Adam hoped that some saving grace would come, and luckily it came knocking at the door…

It was late. Adam couldn't sleep. He'd been at the school house all day helping Adrien prepare for school to start in a couple weeks. He didn't know what to do. He was torn between his love for her and his duty as a school board member.

She was in absolutely no condition to be teaching, but it was the only thing she had left now, and if that were taken from her, she would feel like she had no purpose in life anymore.

It was a stormy night, Adam wanted to be with her, to hold her, and love her and feel her breath on his chest as she fell asleep in his arms, but it was not proper. She insisted on being ladylike and acting like the adults they were.

"We should be able to control ourselves, Adam," she had said, one of the many times they had almost given into passion.

It was nights like this that he missed their old life the most.

He was lost in thought when there was a knock at the door. He answered it to find a young man, exhausted and sopping wet.

"Is this the Ponderosa?" The young man asked.

"Yes, it is. Why don't you come in out of the rain?" Adam answered. The boy came in; Adam went into the kitchen to get a towel.

"So what's your name?" Adam asked, handing him the towel.

"Where's my sister?" the boy demanded.

"Hold on a minute." Adam retaliated. "I can't know who your sister is unless I know your name."

"I'm Travis, Travis Cooper. My sister was staying here."

"Oh, so you're one on the little brothers." Adam realized.

"Yes, I'm one of them. Where's my sister? I'm looking for an Adam Cartwright too. Do you know where either of them are?"

"Well, Travis, Adrien moved back to her own house, much to the protest of all of us here, I'd be glad to take you there in the morning. And you're looking at Adam Cartwright."

"Then I ought to kill you right here, right now, you son of a bitch." Travis flared, grabbing Adam by his shirt.

"Whoa, what's going on here? What's wrong?" Adam asked, remaining cool.

"She's had nothing but trouble ever since she met you."

"What do you mean trouble?" Adam asked.

"You got her pregnant. You leave her all alone with a kid and one on the way. All that ruins her career. Then, she comes out here, gets hooked up with you again. She shoots her own Pa, and then her kid dies, tearing her to pieces. If she'd never met you, she'd be just fine."

"Wait a minute there, Travis." Adam countered. "I tried to prevent as much heartache as I could, but I've always been there to catch her and try to put the pieces back together."

"Well, some job you're doing now." Travis stated.

"I'm sorry, I've been trying to get her released from her contract so she doesn't have to teach anymore."

"Why?"

"So I can get her out of here. I was planning on taking her home for a little while, to see her family. I may not be perfect but I'm trying to take care of her," Adam admitted.

"I'm sorry." Travis apologized.

"It's alright, you're just protecting her. Now that you're here, you might be good for her. I hope you're here for a while."

"I'll stay as long as I need. Do you know where I could spend the night?"

"Yeah, there's a room upstairs. Last one on the left."

"Thanks." Travis picked up his tack and went to go put up his horse.

"Travis, wait." Adam called after him. "What did you mean by I left her with a kid and one on the way?"

"I think that that's something that you need to talk to her about."

The next morning, Adam got up early. He had tossed and turned all night thinking about what Travis had said. Was she really? On the other hand, was the boy just blowing off steam. Adam did not know what to do. Adrien was not in the best shape to discuss this matter anyway. Maybe Travis would open her up, or maybe he would see what state she was in and tell him. Was this the reason why everything hit her so hard? Was this why she would just sit and stare into space? Occasionally, she would start to say things, strange things, things that he never could understand. Maybe it would all come together now…

There was not an answer at Adrien's when Adam knocked on the door. He unlocked the door with a key that he got out of the window box.

"What do you think you're doing?" Travis asked, surprised at his actions.

"I'm going in."

"But she's still asleep."

"It's alright, I do this all the time." Adam assured him. Travis was directed to the dining room. "If she's not up, I'll start on breakfast for all of us. I know she hates my cooking, but you'll never get her to admit it, so if she's up, she'll cook."

Adam hurried upstairs to check on Adrien, he found her already up and dressed, brushing her hair in front of the vanity.

"Darling, you're here early!" she exclaimed, surprised to see him peeking in the door.

"I have a surprise for you, dear," he answered, coming inside the room, taking the brush from her, and continuing for her.

"Adam, I don't really feel like any surprises, can't it wait?" she asked.

""No, it can't, I'm sorry dear. There's something I need to talk to you about too, but it can wait, just don't let me forget, alright." He set the brush down on the vanity, and just started to play with her hair.

"Adam, what are you doing?" she asked. His absentmindedness was very unusual.

"I'm sorry, dear, I guess I'm just a little tired." he answered and started braiding it.

"So, what's this surprise?" Adrien asked.

"Just come downstairs," he said as she tied a ribbon around the end of the braid.

He covered her eyes and guided her down the steps.

"Hello, Sis." Adrien heard a familiar voice say. She pushed Adam's hands away from her eyes to find Travis standing at the foot of the stairs.

"Travis," she said with almost no emotion in her voice.

"Aren't you glad to see me, sis?" Travis asked, as surprised at her reaction as Adam was.

"Yes, of course I am, " she answered, forcing a smile, " you just really surprised me, that's all, really." She gave him a very cold and quick hug.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" she asked both of them.

"No, we came straight here," Adam answered, "I was just about to go and fix it for you."

"That's all right, Dear. Travis has had a long hard trip, and probably would like a good meal and a night's rest.

"Where are your things?" she asked Travis.

"I left them at the Ponderosa. I spent the night there," Travis answered.

"Really, why didn't you come here?" she asked, looking a little hurt.

"I was told you were living there for a little while, sis."

"Oh, well, come on, we're burning daylight."

"Travis, why are you really here?" Adam asked Travis one afternoon a week later. The two men were building a new stall in Adrien's stable.

"After I heard all that had happened to her, I got worried I didn't know if she really had anyone here to lean on or not. She writes about you all the time. She puts you on such a pedestal, but after the truth was revealed, I didn't know if you'd stand beside her or not. I had to make sure my sister had someone to lean on." Travis responded, looking down at the ground.

"So you're not still going to try to convince her to go back to Colorado?"

"Would you try to stop me if I did?" Travis countered.

"Do I need to?"

"No."

"So why are you really here?" Adam asked again.

"To give my sister some company and protection, really, that's all now. I may have come off as having more of an agenda when I arrived, but really that's all."

They continued with their work for a moment. They could hear Adrien humming as she tended to her flowerbed by the porch.

"Travis, can I ask you something?" Adam asked once more.

"Yes, what is it?"

"What did you mean the night you got here when you said that I left Adrien with a kid and one on the way?"

"Didn't I tell you that you'd have to ask her?"

"Yes, you did." Adam replied. "But I've tried and I can't get anything out of her. It's hard to open the kind of door that that might be without tearing the scabs off newer wounds. She has a talent for avoiding topics that she doesn't want to discuss."

"Do you even realize that if you let her go on like this she'll never snap out of it.?" Travis asked.

"No," Adam answered, "I honestly don't know what to do with her."

"Well, I guess that's why I'm here now. I was the one who helped her after you left. Then, we had to get her dancing again and she was better after awhile, but then she was so much in love she almost couldn't breathe without you. Now, she still has you, she has to learn to live without Rebecca just like when she…" Travis threw down his hammer and headed for the porch. "Come on, Adam. It's time you had a very long and honest talk with that woman."

"Adrien!" Travis called as left the barn.

"Adrien!" he called, frantically. "Adrien, where are you?"

She hadn't been at home. She hadn't been at the theater all day. Grace and Jess said that they had seen her that morning extremely upset. But where was she.

Adam had come home from his classes that day in high spirits. Adrien had almost recovered from her disappearance. She still leaned on him more than usual, and she still didn't want to talk about anything. She'd gone back to rehearsals this week. And the night before…the night before had been magical. He had been gentle with her, extremely gentle, but it had been extremely hard to contain himself. Everything she did made him want her more, the way she ran her fingers through her hair, the way she touched him, the passion in her kiss, the way their bodies seemed to gravitate to each other…He never dreamed that making love could be so beautiful…

His thoughts were broken by the sound of the stream flowing. He hadn't realized that he was so close to it. He made his way through the trees to it and began to walk the banks. He was getting close to where he was when they first met, then he saw her. She was sitting on a boulder on the other side of the of the stream.

"Adrien." he called. She looked up. He could see the tears in her eyes and running down her face.

"Adrien. What's wrong?" he called as he began to walk down into the stream and cross to her side.

"Adam, just go, just leave me alone." she answered, but that didn't stop him. He reached her side and reached up for her hand.

"Darling what's going on?"

"I saw the doctor today," she replied as a new wave of sobs overtook her.

"What's wrong, darling? What did he say that's upset you so much?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Adrien, whatever it is, we'll get through this," he assured her, "Why don't we at least go home? You've got to be freezing!"

"I don't want to."

"Adrien, if you're sick, then this isn't the place to be. You'll get cold. Please come home."

She took his hands and got down from the boulder.

"What's going on darling?" he asked again.

She just leaned her head on his shoulder and started to cry again. He picked her up and started at carry her back across the river.

"Adam, no." she stopped him, "I can do this myself." He set her down and they went across together, his arm still around her and her head remained on his shoulder. They were about half across when Adam whispered:

"You know I love you, darling, don't you."

That brought her into deep sobs again.

They stood in the middle of the river for a long time. Adam patiently held her. As she began to calm she whispered:

"I'm sorry, dear."

"Sorry for what?" he asked.

"Adam, I 'm pregnant."

He held her at arm's length and looked her in the eye.

"That's nothing to be sorry for. Those should be tears of joy."

"They would be, but with all that's happened, I'm not sure if it's yours." She started to sob again. Adam pulled her close and stroked her hair.

"No matter what," he assured her. "This will be my child."

"Adrianna!" Travis called again.

"Travis, what are you doing? Is something wrong?" she asked as the two men approached the porch.

"You never did what I told you to."

"What was that?" she asked.

"Do remember what we talked about last summer when you were at home?"

"Oh, I don't think that it's really that…"

"It is that important, and if you don't tell Adam now, I will."

"Travis, you wouldn't. It's none of your business!" she pleaded.

"I will," he replied.

"Adrien," Adam interrupted, "I know some of it, if you'll just fill in some of the holes for me."

"Why do you have to do this now? Do you even realize how I feel? I don't feel like doing this now." she protested and tried to retreat inside the house. Travis stood between her and the door.

"That's your problem, sis, you've been carrying to many burdens and you won't let them go. Yes, you were taken away from your mother. Yes, your father shipped you off because you were a threat to him and his intelligence. Yes, he married various women and they disappeared when you started to get attached to them. Yes, your father married your best friend and then killed her off. Yes, you were raped and had a child who you weren't exactly sure who the father was, and then you lost her. Yes, you were left by the love or your life. Yes, a man who you thought loved you betrayed you. Yes, your promising career went down the drain. But Adrien, you have to move on. You have to let go. You are almost 23 years old. You can't carry these things around for the rest of your life or you won't get to live your life. If you don't then you'll just be letting all of the people who believe in you down. Do you want to do that?"

She did not answer. She just wiped the tears from her eyes and went inside the house.

Travis tried to follow, but Adam held him back.

"Just leave her alone for a little while, let her soak all of this in."

"Are you sure we should do that?" Travis was extremely skeptical about Adam's instructions.

"Yes, she'll be alright. Just let her think on it." Adam looked up to her bedroom window still not comfortable with leaving her alone.

"Let's go in for a little bit and cool off." Travis suggested.

The two sat down with a glass of tea in the sitting room, both listening intently for a sound coming from upstairs.

"So, Travis," Adam began, "can you tell me what happened to my second child?"

"It wasn't long after you left that I visited her and she told me that she was pregnant again. She was really happy about it, especially since she thought that you were dead. She was hoping for a son. She thought that you would have wanted someone to carry on your name. I stayed with her, and that Gabe character came around a lot. John and Jess were always there, and a few more of her friends from dancing. We ended up taking her to Virginia. But she got about 6 months along, and she started to have a lot of trouble. I brought in the best midwife I could find, and we took her to the best doctors. She only made it 8 months before she went into labor, and it wasn't easy."

Travis's voice cracked. He took a long drink.

"What went wrong?" Adam asked, the silence was killing him.

"We almost lost her in labor. She spent almost two days in labor and delivery took nearly 4 hours. The baby wouldn't cry when he was born."

"Wait a minute," Adam interrupted, a sudden glint in his eye, "It was a boy, I have…I have a son?"

"You did." Travis answered. "He was the sweetest baby. She named him Adam, after you. She said that now she could have her own little Adam that would never, ever leave her. But he little and he was weak, and he came too soon. The first day Adrien slept, but the next she sat in bed and just held him. I don't think she put him down for three days. He tried to make it. He fought with the same gumption she has. None of us thought that he actually would make it through his first night. The fifth day, he started fading. Adrien knew what was happening, she never let go of him. He died that night in her arms. I really didn't think that she'd make it through. We buried the baby, and she sat in silence for weeks. She went to Boston and tried to dance again, but that Gabe guy came around and messed her up more. Somewhere in all this, her father started talking to her and threatening her. She quit the ballet, and then tried to kill herself. Then right after she recovered, she took the job here."

Adam listened with his head in his hands in disbelief of what that year apart held.

"She left Rebecca in Colorado with me and Michael, and then she left for here. I asked her to come to you about all of this, to help her deal with things that she hadn't before, but I guess she never has. At first, I thought that all of this was because of you, but now that I've seen you with her, I've changed my mind, I don't think that she'd be doing this well if it wasn't for you."

Adam looked up. There were tears streaming down his face. His heart was breaking, mourning the child he never knew.

"I think that it's time to check on her," Adam quietly suggested.

"Yes, I think it's time you and my sister had a very long talk. If you don't mind, I think I can finish that stall alone."

Adam went up the stairs to Adrien's room. He heard the front door shut and Travis's footsteps on the porch. He opened the door to Adrien's bedroom. She was sitting on the floor leaned up against the bed, still crying.

"Adrien, I just want you to know that I love you," he whispered, as he sat down beside her and put his arm around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but I really wish you would," he continued, "I wish I'd have found out from you, not like this. I understand you hiding this from me too. I feel horrible about leaving you like that though, but it wasn't either of our faults. Adrien, losing the baby wasn't your fault either. Things like that happen, you know that. I wish I could have met him. I swear, if I ever run into Gabriel Jennings again, I think I will kill him."

"Adam, please…" she interrupted.

"So are we going to talk?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Adam asked.

"I just thought that you'd feel guilty, and you'd be angry, and you'd hate me for losing him." she answered.

"Adrien, I'm only angry at myself."

"Why?"

"I shouldn't have ever believed him. I should have gone and gotten you. Our son should have been born here, before we left for San Francisco."

"It's too late now."

"But, it's not too late to move on. Darling, we had two children together, and we lost them, but we still have each other. You have my love and you'll never lose that."

"Do you promise?" she asked, in a whisper.

"I promise."

He leaned over and kissed her on the head. She snuggled up to his side for the first time since Rebecca's death.

"Adam, do you think I'll ever be okay? That we'll ever be okay?"

"Darling," He answered. "I know we will. It may take time, but I know we will."