2021
"What time is your flight?" Eliza Schuyler, one of Alex's coworkers, asked as he typed up one last brief before he clocked out of work for the week.
Alex glanced down at his watch.
"Noon." He replied. "I just have to get this ready to be filed and then I'll be out of here."
"You'd better leave before my dad sees you." Eliza advised Alex with a small, amused smile.
Mr. Schuyler was one of the partners at the law firm that Alex worked. His daughters, Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy, all worked at the firm with Alex. Angelica was the fiercest litigator in the firm. Eliza was the lead paralegal. Peggy sat at the front desk and studied for her college classes between phone calls from irate clients.
"I'm just about done. Will you be able to file this for me today?" Alex replied, not looking away from his computer.
"Of course." Eliza assured him.
"Thank you." Alex could never thank Eliza enough for all that she did for him. He knew that the firm would fall apart without her. "Just call me if you have any questions about anything while I'm gone. If you need me, I can be back here in -"
"I know." Eliza cut him off with one of her warm smiles. "Enjoy your Christmas with your parents, Alex. You deserve it. You never take any time away from this place."
"Thanks." Alex emailed the brief to Eliza, then shut down his computer. He rose to his feet and grabbed his briefcase. Eliza, who was perched on the corner of Alex's desk, followed him down the hall.
"Taking off so soon?" Angelica caught Alex in the hallway. Her eyes roved over Alex. Her smile was wicked. "The holidays are making you lazy."
"I'll log back in at the airport." Alex joked with a grin. "Are you still doing the Crowley hearing on Christmas Eve?"
Angelica grimaced.
"Judge Olson refused to postpone it." She replied. She gave a small shrug. "Maybe the Defendant will get sentimental about the holidays and won't show."
Alex laughed.
"I'll keep my fingers crossed for you." He told her. "Just give me a call if you need to go over your direct exam questions, or your closing."
"I won't." Angelica rarely accepted Alex's help. Alex didn't mind. "Happy holidays, Alex."
"Happy holidays, Angelica." Alex echoed.
"Ugh, are you leaving me alone in this madhouse?" Peggy complained as Alex stepped into the foyer.
Alex grabbed his coat off of the coat rack and shrugged it on. Eliza, who had grabbed his scarf, handed it to him once his hands were free. Alex accepted it with a grateful smile.
"Sorry, Peg." Alex chuckled, wrapping his scarf around his neck. "Just a few more days to go, then you'll have a few days away from this place."
"Ugh." Peggy complained again. "I know that the minute you leave, all of your clients are going to break down the doors and demand to meet with you immediately."
"That is their way." Alex agreed. "You'll be fine. Just give me a call if you need anything."
"Alex, you're going to miss your flight if you don't leave now." Eliza reminded him.
"All right, all right." Alex grumbled good-naturedly. "I'll see you all in a week. Don't let the firm burn down while I'm gone."
Alex arrived in Virginia late in the afternoon. George and Martha picked him up from the airport. Martha nearly tackled him to the ground as he stepped off of the plane and into the terminal.
It had been ten years since he had last been in Virginia.
"How the hell are you, son?" George had asked him. "When are we going to get to meet this fiance of yours?"
In a fit of self-despair, Alex had lied to George and Martha and told them that he was engaged to Eliza Schuyler. It was preferable to the truth. Alex knew how badly George and Martha wanted him to settle down and be happy. He knew that George would want him to settle down with a woman like Eliza. Gorgeous, sophisticated, well-connected, and utterly charming.
He forced a smile.
"Soon." He promised them with no conviction. "The holidays mean a lot to her family. I couldn't convince her to spend Christmas in Virginia instead of New York."
"Well, come on. The truck's parked out front." George accepted Alex's lie easily. "I know everyone is dying to see you while you're here. It's been a while."
Alex followed George and Martha out to the parking lot. Martha chattered excitedly about the dinner that she had prepared for them. She made all of Alex's favorites. Alex couldn't remember the last time he'd had one of Martha's home-cooked meals.
He felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at it without hesitation.
It was a text message from his father. His biological father. He was asking for money.
They'd been in touch since Alex moved to New York. Alex had gone to the bar that James worked at. There hadn't been tears. James hadn't recognized him. Alex had had to introduce himself. It had been extremely awkward for both of them. James had given Alex his phone number, as well as their biological father's phone number.
Alex had reached out to his father. He didn't know what he was looking for, but he knew that he hadn't found it. Instead, his father only seemed interested in Alex's job and his connection with the Washingtons and how he could use both to get ahead.
He asked Alex for money at least once a month.
Alex always sent it.
He never told George or Martha that he was in contact with his biological dad. He didn't want to hurt their feelings.
"Tell us about your job." Martha encouraged Alex as they reached the house.
"There's not much to tell." Alex shrugged. He set his suitcase down in the foyer. He would bring it up later. "I get yelled at by clients and judges all day and I charge people an hourly rate for it."
George laughed.
"Oh, it can't be that bad." Martha remarked as they walked into the kitchen.
There was food everywhere. It smelled like heaven. Alex hurried to fix himself a plate. George and Martha followed suit. They sat down at the dinner table. Alex sat in the chair that he had occupied throughout his childhood. It was comfortable. He had forgotten how comfortable he could feel.
Alex had dinner with George and Martha. After dinner, they talked for a while. Martha went to bed around eight o'clock. George retired for the evening as well. Both of the Washingtons had always gone to bed relatively early.
Once they were retired for the evening, Alex drove George's truck to Hercules' house. He'd made plans with Hercules, Lafayette, and John. He hadn't seen them in years. He couldn't imagine what they looked like after all that time.
"Alex!" Hercules swung open the door to his house with a grin.
He had gotten taller and gained a significant amount of muscle since Alex had last seen him. He looked like he could wrestle Godzilla and come out without a scratch. Alex might have been afraid of him, had he not known him so well.
"Jesus, Herc." Alex laughed. "You look like a tank, man."
Hercules laughed, too.
"You should let me train you." He joked. "You look like you'd blow away with a strong wind."
Alex grinned as Hercules ushered him into the door.
"Hammie!" Lafayette called from Hercules' living room. He was sprawled on a sectional couch with a red solo cup in hand. He raised the up in Alex's direction.
He looked the same as he had in high school. The same delicate frame. The same amused expression. He was growing something that resembled a moustache, but it wasn't nearly pronounced enough to alter his appearance.
"Hey, Laf. How the hell are you?" Alex approached the couch to shake Lafayette's hand.
"Better than you, from the looks of it." Lafayette responded, grinning. "You look like hell, Hammie."
"Thanks." Alex chuckled.
"Hey, Alex."
Alex turned around to see John leaning against the doorframe between the living room and the kitchen.
He was just as devastatingly handsome as he had always been. He afforded Alex the same charming grin that he'd given him all those years ago. His eyes still sparkled with mischief. His clothes still hung perfectly from his body, emphasizing every curve and line of him.
"Hey, John." Alex sighed.
Though Alex had recovered from his teenaged heartbreak in the ten years that had passed, he could not deny that he had wished that John's looks had faded in that time. He had hoped that John would be balding, or at the very least, slightly wrinkled. Instead, it looked like age had only improved him.
"Can I get you something to drink?" Hercules asked.
"What do you have?" Alex inquired.
"Uh…" Hercules brushed past John into the kitchen. "Shit. Laf, what the hell happened to all of the drinks? We don't have anything but the shitty IPAs you pretend to like."
"I do like them!" Lafayette argued.
"Fuck, man. And we've all been drinking." Hercules sighed, running a hand through his hair. "We'll have to make do with water, I guess."
"I can run to the store. I haven't had anything yet." Alex offered. "What do you guys want?"
"Oh, shit. John, what's that one drink that you brought over here?" Hercules looked to John.
"I don't know the name." John admitted with a shrug and a careless smile. "I just know what the bottle looks like. Mind if I come with you, Alex?"
"Sure." Alex agreed reluctantly.
"Thanks, Alex. Welcome home, buddy." Hercules chuckled, clapping Alex on the shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah." Alex replied good-naturedly. "We'll be back in a little while."
John followed him out through the door and to George's truck. He chuckled as he climbed into the passenger seat.
"I feel like we just travelled back to junior year." John remarked, grinning at Alex from the passenger's seat.
"How have you been?" Alex asked.
He didn't want to talk about their past. He didn't want to reminisce. He had gotten over John, but he still did not enjoy talking about their failed relationship.
"Good, good. I've been working at this really great non-profit. The pay is trash, but I like the work that I do and the people I work with, so I can't really complain. How have you been?"
"Good." Alex replied vaguely. "I, uh, I went to law school, you know. Became a lawyer. I work at a law firm in the city. It's one of the smaller ones, but it's good money and good experience."
"I bet you're one hell of a lawyer." John remarked with a laugh. "You were always better at arguing than I was."
"Arguing is only a small part of the job." Alex said with a small shrug. He focused on the road. "Mostly, it's getting shit on by clients day in and out."
John barked out a laugh.
"I don't know how good at that part you'd be." He remarked.
"Yeah, I don't know that I'll be making partner anytime soon." Alex agreed with a small smile of his own.
"I heard that you're engaged to your paralegal, though." John said. "Congratulations."
It was unbearable, having John repeat Alex's lie back to him. John, of all people. John, who knew Alex's deepest, darkest secrets.
"Thanks." Alex mumbled. "She's…I mean, it's not that…"
"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Alex." John interjected, shaking his head. "I'm happy with where I'm at in my life. I hope that you are, too."
Alex pulled into the liquor store parking lot. He climbed out of the car, eager to get away from John and all of his sage wisdom.
As they walked into the liquor store, Alex realized that he had never actually bought anything from this store, despite spending half of his teenage years around it. He hadn't spend any of his adulthood in Virginia.
"Hey, John." The man behind the counter called out.
John, it seemed, was a regular.
"Hey, Bill." John nodded, cool as ever. "Where's that cool drink you showed me last time? I want a few more bottles."
"Aisle four." Bill replied.
"Thanks." John called over his shoulder, starting for aisle four.
Alex had no desire to follow John down the narrow aisles of the liquor store. He started for the wine aisle. He figured that he would enjoy wine more than whatever it was that John was buying. He didn't want to get as drunk as the other guys. He had to wake up the next morning and help Martha bake Christmas cookies.
He turned down the aisle, looking around for a cheap pinot noir or sauvignon blanc.
Instead, he laid eyes on one Thomas Jefferson.
Thomas hadn't noticed him yet. He was contemplating a bottle of wine with a comically serious expression.
He looked different than he had in high school. More confident, more mature. His lanky form had filled out quite a bit. He might have even gotten taller. He was so tall, even in high school. He towered over Alex.
Alex tried to think of a way to remove himself from the aisle without drawing Thomas' attention to him. He knew that he couldn't make a lot of sound. He would have to avoid a lot of movement, too.
"Hey, Alex!" John materialized before Alex could decide what to do.
Thomas' eyes shot up to look at Alex. They widened in surprise and quite possibly horror. He looked down at the bottle of wine in his hand, then at Alex. He looked like a cornered animal.
"Oh, hey Tom." John didn't realize the mistake that he had made. He couldn't have. He didn't know about that summer between senior year and college that Alex had been with Thomas. No one did. "What's going on, man?"
"Uh, hey." Thomas said mildly.
He didn't take his eyes off of Alex.
"Alex, you remember Tom from high school, don't you?" John made things infinitely worse by trying to reintroduce Alex. As though he wouldn't have known Thomas anywhere.
"No, yeah, of course." Alex replied shakily. "How are you, Tom?"
"Good." Thomas said with no real conviction.
Silence hung between them. Alex shifted his weight from one foot to another uncomfortably. Thomas pretended to read the wine label.
"We were just going back to Hercules' house to hang out for a while." John was unknowingly destroying Alex's entire visit with just a few sentences. "You're welcome to join us if you want, Tom."
"Oh." Thomas looked up from the wine, seemingly mortified. "No. That's okay. If Alex is only home for a few days, I don't want to intrude. I'm sure you all have a lot to talk about."
Alex's phone buzzed. It was his dad again, asking if he'd sent the money yet. Alex looked down at it reflexively.
"Is that your fiancé?" John asked.
"Fiance?" Thomas echoed, his tone surprised.
"He's engaged to his paralegal." John explained, oblivious to the horror written on both Alex and Thomas' faces. "Kind of a cliché, right?"
"Uh, yeah." Thomas tried to smile, but Alex could see that it wasn't genuine. Thomas' eyes moved up to meet Alex's. They were full of pain. "Congratulations."
"Thanks." Alex mumbled.
"Anyway," John huffed, nudging Alex's shoulder with his own. "You should really come with us. What else have you got to do tonight? Get drunk and watch TV alone?"
Alex looked at John, surprised by the familiar tone of his voice. In high school, John had barely recognized that Thomas was alive. Now, he was chatting with Thomas as though they were the best of friends. John had always been outgoing, but not this outgoing.
"Tom is a silent partner at my non-profit." John explained to Alex, as if he could read his mind. "He's a cool guy and usually accepts my invitations the first time."
Alex disliked John telling him about Thomas. Alex knew about Thomas. He should have been the one telling John about Thomas.
"I really don't want to intrude." Thomas repeated mildly.
"It'd be no intrusion at all, right Alex?" John insisted.
"Right." Alex agreed with no real conviction.
Thomas sighed and put the wine bottle back on the shelf.
"All right." He agreed at length. "Just for a little while, though."
John grinned, pleased with himself.
"All right." He said. "Alex, give me your credit card."
"What? Why?" Alex asked, momentarily distracted from the suffocatingly awkward situation that he found himself in.
"Because you make lawyer money and I make nonprofit money." John replied, fishing Alex's wallet out of his back pocket with no hesitation. Alex jumped. "You're buying the booze for tonight."
Alex let out a sigh, but didn't fight John. He didn't mind. He rarely spent money on anything other than cheap takeout and tailored suits. He could afford to sponsor everyone's drinks for the night.
"A lawyer, huh?" Thomas asked as John wandered off to the cash register. "That's great."
"Yeah, I guess." Alex shrugged uncomfortably. He didn't know what to say to Thomas. There used to be a time when he could have talked to Thomas for hours on end. Now, he was struggling to make it through a few minutes. "It pays the bills."
Thomas nodded, not saying anything.
This was excruciating.
Alex hated silence. Abhored it with a devotion that few were capable of. Silence existed for the sole purpose of being filled. Infuriatingly, Alex had no idea what to fill this silence with.
He wrestled with his words silently. Angrily.
"All right kids, let's go." John's intrusion was welcome this time. He approached them, both of his arms full of brown bags containing glass bottles.
"I thought you were just getting the one bottle." Alex remarked without malice.
"That was before you gave me your card." John replied with a Cheshire cat grin that only he could pull off.
Alex sighed.
"Are you riding with us?" John asked, looking to Thomas curiously.
"Oh, no, I, uh, I can just walk to Hercules'." Thomas replied, his face reddening slightly.
"Bullshit." John said loudly. He didn't seem to notice that there was a woman with her young son browsing the champagne selection. She cast John a withering glare. John ignored her. "There's plenty of room in the truck. Come on."
Thomas hung his head and followed John and Alex out of the liquor store. He looked like a prisoner of war rather than a grown man who was invited to go to a social event for a few hours.
John climbed into the passenger seat of the truck. Alex climbed into the driver's side. Thomas begrudgingly scooted into the backseat of the truck. Alex glanced at him in the rear view mirror. Thomas wouldn't meet his eyes.
Alex hadn't thought he would ever see Thomas in that backseat again. Memories of many evenings parked out in the middle of nowhere with Thomas sprawled out against the backseat flooded Alex's mind. He swallowed hard and shook his head, trying to clear such thoughts.
He tried to focus on the road.
He couldn't help but glance at the rear view mirror every few seconds. He convinced himself that he was just ensuring that the cars behind him maintained a safe distance.
He didn't give a shit about the cars behind him.
Thomas was staring out the window at nothing in particular. Every few seconds, he would lick his chapped lips and furrow his brows. Thomas' lips were always chapped. Alex used to tease him about it. He bought him hundreds of tubes of Chapstick. Thomas always lost them. He would just smile ruefully and ask if his chapped lips bothered Alex.
They hadn't bothered him at all.
"How are your folks?" John tried to converse with Alex, distracting him from thoughts of chapped lips and backseat rendezvous.
"Oh, uh, they're good." Alex replied distractedly. "You know how they are. George is always making some kind of business deal that no one really understands. Martha is just...Martha."
"Martha is awesome." John amended Alex's statement with a grin. He fished a pack of cigarettes out of the front pocket of his shirt. He pulled one out and placed it between his lips.
"No smoking in here." Alex reminded him, his eyes narrowing.
John laughed, keeping his lips pursed just enough to keep the cigarette from falling. This was a futile attempt, as he brought his fingers up to remove the cigarette just seconds letter.
"God, it's like being sixteen all over again." He remarked in a tone of wonderment.
Alex rolled his eyes, but his lips curved upward into a smile. He risked a glance at the rear view mirror. His eyes locked with Thomas'. Thomas' eyes widened. He hastened to look out the window again. Alex tore his eyes away from the mirror and refocused on the road.
They reached Hercules' house in a few short minutes. Alex had forgotten how easy it was to drive down the two-way streets of Virginia. He had grown accustomed to sitting in New York traffic for hours on end.
They all climbed out of the truck. Hercules and Lafayette poured out of the house. Lafayette made a beeline for John. More specifically, he made a beeline for the brown bags in John's arms.
"I thought we sent you for one bottle." Hercules remarked, his brows furrowed slightly.
"Alex was buying." John replied, grinning over his shoulder as he walked up Hercules' driveway.
"Did Alex offer?" Hercules threw an amused glance in Alex's direction as they started up the driveway.
"He did not." Alex replied with an equally amused grin.
Hercules glanced over his shoulder, finally noticing Thomas, who was trailing after them and looking very much like he would rather be anywhere else in the world.
"Oh, hey, Tom." Hercules acknowledged him the same way that one would acknowledge a squirrel or a pigeon. Like he was just expected to be loitering around. Like he was expected to show up at events like these. "Did John make you come over here again?"
Thomas nodded miserably.
"Ah, well." Hercules remarked simply. "He means well."
"Does he?" Alex hummed.
Hercules just shrugged.
They stepped into Hercules' house. John and Lafayette were already pouring drinks. John handed one to Alex. Lafayette handed one to Thomas. Alex and Thomas exchanged awkward smiles as they sipped at their drinks.
Alex grimaced. It was strong. He hadn't intended to get drunk that night. He glanced down at his phone one last time to ensure that nothing was going wrong at the firm. Only the text from his dad was on the screen. Alex returned his phone to his pocket and took another sip.
Over the course of the next few hours, Alex consumed five drinks. He still didn't know what it was that John had gotten at the store, but he knew that it was strong. He wasn't drunk, but he certainly wasn't sober. He was hovering somewhere in between, enjoying the pleasant buzz and the inability to think about anything in particular for too long.
Around midnight, Alex looked down at his phone and raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Oh." He remarked stupidly. "'s late. I should get home."
"Mm." Hercules mumbled from the couch, where he and Lafayette were quickly falling asleep.
"Want me to drive you home?" John offered, his words slurred and fuzzy.
Alex shook his head.
"I'll walk." He said. "'s not that far. I'll come pick up George's truck tomorrow."
"I'll go with you." Thomas rose from where he was sitting. He crooked a shy, somewhat awkward smile. "If you don't mind."
Alex just shrugged.
"Sure." He said.
They set out for their neighborhood on foot. The night was unusually still. Alex could see his breath suspended in the cold air. He wrapped his coat a little tighter around himself, glad that he was too drunk to feel the biting cold.
His phone vibrated in his pocket. Alex rubbed his hands together before pulling it out of his pocket.
"Is that your fiance?" Thomas asked absently.
"No." Alex shook his head. "No, I, ah…"
Alcohol had the worst effect on him. It made him tell the truth.
"I'm not really engaged." He explained sheepishly. "Eliza's just my paralegal. Nothing romantic there. I just told George and Martha that we were engaged because I know they're worried about me. With a girl like Eliza - gorgeous, smart, well-connected - they worry about me a little less."
Thomas stared at him in disbelief.
"Why would you do that?" He demanded.
"I just told you why." Alex replied, somewhat annoyed.
"You should just tell George the truth." Thomas said, casting Alex a meaningful look. They both knew that he wasn't only talking about Eliza. "He'd be decent about it, I bet."
"Have you told your dad the truth?" Alex asked dubiously.
"My dad is dead." Thomas replied simply.
"Oh." Alex considered this. He then glanced at Thomas. "Good."
"Good?" Thomas choked out, in a sound that was somewhere between laughter and outrage.
"He was a dick." Alex shrugged. "It wasn't like he was going to change."
"I know, but...Jesus, Alex. You can't just say things like that." Thomas replied, scandalized.
Alex grinned. It was a sloppy, drunken grin.
"C'mon, you hated him, too. You always told me that." He was too drunk to recall that he had intended to avoid recounting anything that had been done or said in the summer that they were together.
Thomas grimaced.
"I'm sorry." Alex huffed. He apologized only because he knew that Thomas was right - he was not being appropriate. Alex was nothing if not appropriate. "But you did deserve better than the way that he treated you."
"Well...thanks." Thomas mumbled, not meeting Alex's eyes. He stared ahead as they drew nearer to their neighborhood. "That's, uh, that's my place, so I guess I'll just..."
Alex waved vaguely in Thomas' direction before continuing to George and Martha's house.
He was too drunk to notice that, once Thomas was safely within his own house, he did not turn off the porch light.