Alex had agreed to have brunch with John, Lafayette, and Hercules the day after Christmas. Given all that had happened with Thomas on Christmas, he had forgotten all about those plans entirely. It wasn't until John barged into his childhood bedroom, fully dressed and two mimosas deep, that Alex remembered.
"What are you doing?" John demanded in a voice that was a smidge too loud for indoors.
"Shit, I'm sorry." Alex scrubbed his face with his hand. "Do you mind if I take a rain check on breakfast? I feel like shit."
"You look like shit." John appraised him with a frown. "C'mon, breakfast will make you feel better. Herc and Lafayette are in the car."
Alex groaned. "Do I have to?"
"Yes." John's tone left no room for argument. "Here, I'll pick out something for you to wear."
He began rifling through the drawers, not bothering to refold the clothes that he shuffled around. Alex let out another groan and hoisted himself out of bed.
John glanced over his shoulder as Alex ambled towards him. As his eyes slid up and down Alex's body, Alex realized that he was only wearing a pair of boxer briefs. He let out an embarrassed cough and shuffled forward to grab a pair of jeans.
John chuckled.
"You don't have to act so shy." He remarked, grinning. "It's nothing I haven't seen before."
"Shut up." Alex grumbled.
He accepted the shirt that John had selected for him and threw it over his head.
"I like to think I look a little different than I did when I was seventeen." He added as they started for the stairs.
"I won't disagree with that." John agreed from behind him. Alex turned around to look at him, frowning. John winked. "Like a fine wine."
Alex rolled his eyes and continued walking.
"There you are, honey." Martha was at the bottom of the stairs, smiling at them both. "I hope you don't mind me lettin' John up to get you. He said you boys have breakfast plans?"
"Yeah." Alex said, nodding vaguely. "I'll see you and George later."
"Have fun." Martha encouraged him.
Alex grunted as they walked out the door.
Hercules drove them to the most popular brunch location in town. It was the only brunch location in town, really. They were seated straight away. Lafayette had gone out with the hostess a few times. They ordered their food and started in on some small talk. Alex was unusually quiet. No one seemed to notice. It kept on like that until Alex couldn't take it any longer.
"Tom told me that he loved me." He said, looking down at his avocado toast as though it was a foreign object.
There was a clattering as everyone dropped their silverware and set down their glasses. Alex could feel them all looking at him, too startled to be judgmental.
"Uh…" John was the first to speak. Alex glanced up to meet his eyes. He looked bewildered, as did the rest of the group. "So…when did you guys…I mean…how did that…?"
"We were together right before I went off to college, I guess." Alex replied, embarrassed. "I hadn't seen him since, until that night at the liquor store. We've hung out a few times, and, I don't know, last night he told me that he loved me."
"Wow." Lafayette sank back in his chair, startled.
"I fucking knew it." Hercules declared triumphantly. "I knew that you two weren't spending all that time together doing your summer reading for your classes."
Alex rolled his eyes.
"He knows you're engaged, right?" John asked, arching an eyebrow. "Tom doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would try to snake anyone's fiance."
"Oh, right." Alex had forgotten that he had lied to his friends, too. "I'm not really engaged."
"What?" They all demanded in unison.
"I, uh, I lied." Alex shrugged, feeling as though he was quite possibly hitting rock bottom. "Eliza is my paralegal, but that's it. Nothing romantic."
"Why the fuck would you lie about that? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Hercules demanded, somehow without malice.
"I don't know." Alex mumbled, rubbing his eyes wearily.
John stared at Alex, looking as though he had something to say. Alex knew by the look on John's face that he wouldn't like whatever it was that John had to say. Still, he couldn't resist asking.
"What?"
"Are you seriously making up fake fiances because you're that afraid of telling George that you're gay?" John asked.
"I'm not gay!" Alex exclaimed, exasperated.
"Fine. You're on the spectrum." John said, rolling his eyes. "And you're avoiding the question. Is all of this because of George?"
"No." Alex replied unconvincingly. "It's…I mean…you know I want to run for the Senate in eight years. How would that look?"
"To have a tall, handsome, gay husband?" John raised an eyebrow. "You'd have my vote."
Alex glared at him.
"Okay, okay. Let me make sure I have this straight - you made up your fiance, you've been fucking Tom while you're home, and now he says he loves you?" Hercules clarified.
"Yeah, pretty much." Alex sighed.
"Well, what did you say when he told you that he loved you?" Lafayette asked, leaning forward in his chair.
Alex closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of the nose.
"This part isn't going to make you guys like me any better." He admitted.
"You're already pretty low in my book, if that helps." John remarked unhelpfully.
Alex grimaced.
"Thanks."
"So…?" Lafayette prompted.
"I told him that I was sorry." Alex mumbled.
"Oh, Jesus, Alex." Hercules shook his head in dismay.
"Which is what I told him when he told me he loved me when I left for New York in 2012." Alex continued, staring down at his avocado toast.
"I mean, is it not partially his fault for expecting anything different, then?" Lafayette wondered.
"I don't think it's unfair to expect Alex to get his head out of his own ass after ten years." John countered.
"Hey." Alex protested mildly.
"Do you love Tom?" Hercules asked, ignoring Lafayette and John as they descended into petty bickering about where Alex's head was in proximity to his own ass.
"What?" Alex had not expected this question. He couldn't see how it factored in. Everyone knew that he couldn't have a long-term relationship with a man. He just couldn't work it into his life.
"Do you love him?" Hercules repeated. He spoke each word slowly, as though Alex was having trouble comprehending them. He then shrugged. "If you don't love him, there's really not much to talk about. I think, though, that if you didn't love him, you probably wouldn't be worrying about it enough to talk about it with us."
"I…" Alex knew Hercules was right. He wouldn't have been worrying about this if he didn't love Thomas even a little bit. "I don't know."
He looked down at his phone to distract himself from the conversation at hand, at least momentarily. He had missed several calls from Eliza and Angelica. Something must have been happening at the firm. Something catastrophically wrong.
A text lit up his screen. It was from Eliza.
I'm so sorry. We should have called. We wanted to surprise you by visiting. I think that you should come to your parents house before we make it any worse.
"Fuck." Alex started in his seat, nearly sending his pancakes tumbling onto the floor. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."
"What?" Hercules demanded, looking around for the source of Alex's panic.
"I have to go." Alex rose from his chair.
"But I drove you here." Hercules objected as Alex started for the door.
"I'll walk!" Alex called over his shoulder.
He started running as soon as he stepped outside of the restaurant.
Alex had forgotten how out of shape he was until he had to run eight blocks from the restaurant to George and Martha's house. He burst through the front, gasping for air and sweating through his clothes despite the winter temperatures.
"Alex, honey? Is that you?" Martha called from the living room.
Alex hustled towards the living room, scrubbing his forehead with his sleeve in the hopes of looking more reputable.
As he entered the room, he locked eyes with Eliza. She was sandwiched between Martha and Angelica on the couch. George was seated in his usual armchair on the adjacent side of the rug. Eliza stared back at him, confused and wounded. Angelica watched him, murderous. Martha appeared just as pleasant as always. George was grinning at Alex with something resembling paternal pride.
"There you are." Martha brightened at the sight of Alex. "Look who stopped in to surprise you!"
"Eliza, Angelica." Alex acknowledged them both, struggling to keep his voice even. "Hey. What are you…I mean, I thought your family was doing Christmas in the Hamptons?"
"We did." Angelica answered. Her tone was sharp, accusatory. "But our father had business to attend to in D.C. once the holidays were over. Eliza and I figured that we would come along with him and stop by to see you. Wish you a Merry Christmas or whatever."
"Oh." Alex felt his face redden.
"Alex, can I talk to you for a moment?" Eliza finally spoke up.
George and Martha exchanged knowing smiles. They mistook Eliza's request for an attempt at something intimate. That meant that they didn't know the truth yet.
Alex nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
She rose from her seat on the couch. Alex guided her towards the foyer. He removed her coat from the coat rack and handed it to Eliza without a word. Eliza accepted it. They put on their coats in silence, then headed out onto the property.
Eliza waited until they were at the edge of the woods, so far from the house that neither George nor Martha could even see them from the house.
"They think that we're engaged." She finally said. She spoke softly. She wasn't angry; just confused. She glanced at Alex, her doe eyes full of questions. "Did you ever propose to me?"
Alex sighed and hung his head.
"No," He said. "I didn't propose to you. I, er, I sort of…lied to them."
Eliza let out a sigh of her own.
"Good. I was worried that I had missed something." She quirked him a small, kind smile that made her so damn likeable. "I know that you and Angelica have…ahem…"
She looked away shyly, her cheeks reddening.
Alex felt his own face redden.
"That would have been awkward, huh?" Eliza tried to joke.
Alex laughed humorlessly.
"So…" Eliza nudged Alex with her shoulder, glancing up at him with that smile of hers. "Why did you tell your parents that we were engaged?"
"It's a long story." Alex replied with a shrug, his smile fading.
"You don't seem too busy out here." Eliza prompted.
"Hm." Alex grumbled.
He didn't know how to begin explaining the lie to Eliza. Her family was nothing like his - she belonged to them, no matter what. There was nothing that Eliza could do or say to lose the love of either of her parents - Alex knew that from the way that they looked at her, spoke to her, and spoke about her. Alex, on the other hand…well. He had lost a family once. He would not lose one again.
"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to." Eliza seemed to sense Alex's discomfort. "You don't owe me any explanations. I'll even go along with it. Although, I think we should probably avoid doing anything that would make HR, or Angelica, for that matter, angry."
"I can't ask you to do that." Alex shook his head, dismissing her offer.
"You're not asking." Eliza replied playfully. She smiled, showing off two adorable dimples.
Alex wished that he really had fallen in love with her. He could easily see what his life would look like if he had fallen in love with her. They would have dated for two years before he finally proposed on a winter morning over coffee. They would still be wearing their pajamas. There would be snow on the ground. She would say yes, then immediately call her sisters. They would squeal on the phone for hours while Alex called George and Martha and said simply, "She said yes." They would get married in the spring. Eliza would look beautiful in her wedding dress. They would have their first child a year and a half later. They would have a big family.
He would be happy, if he could just love her.
But he couldn't love her.
"Thank you." He said with a heavy sigh.
"You might want to talk to Angelica, though." Eliza remarked, still smiling as they started for the house again. "She's upset that you didn't use her as a fake fiance. Why didn't you tell me that you two…?" She lifted her eyebrows and smiled in a way that was suggestive but emphatically platonic.
"Was I supposed to tell you?" Alex wondered, quirking an eyebrow.
"I've heard that good fiances don't keep secrets." Eliza teased.
Alex shook his head. He laughed, despite himself.
"How long are you staying?" He asked, changing the subject.
"Oh, we don't have to stay. We can book a room in the city and…" Eliza shook her head, her hair spilling over her shoulders. It was littered with snowflakes. She was utterly beautiful and utterly wasted in Alex's company.
"No, no, no. It's the day after Christmas. You'll never be able to book anything halfway decent." Alex shook his head, wrapping his jacket around himself a little tighter. They had stopped walking. He stamped his feet in the snow. "You'll both stay with us until your flight back to New York. What's the worst that could happen?"
"You and Angelica aren't going to…" Eliza's smile slipped away. Her brows knit together in concern.
Alex might have laughed, under different circumstances.
"No," He said instead. He did not need to add Angelica to the turmoil that was quickly overtaking his holiday season. Whatever it was that was going on between himself and Thomas was sufficient. "Definitely not."
"Good." Eliza seemed relieved by this answer.
The front door opened behind them, startling them both. Martha's head popped out through the crack that had been opened.
"There you are." She said cheerfully. "We've been waiting on you both to make s'mores."
"S'mores?" Alex asked skeptically. "There are still thousands of Christmas cookies that we haven't eaten."
"S'mores are fun." Martha persisted.
"Yeah." Angelica materialized behind her, looking rather unamused. "They're fun."
"They're fun." Eliza echoed to Alex, her doe eyes glittering with laughter.
"All right." Alex sighed, trudging back into the house. Eliza followed at his heels.
Eliza was the perfect fake fiance. She did everything right. She looked at Alex when she laughed. She touched his arm when she teased him. She told Martha and George charming stories about working with Alex at the law firm.
As the night drew to a near, Martha showed Angelica and Eliza to their respective guest rooms. She insisted that Eliza have a separate room from Alex - they weren't married yet, after all. Alex was glad for this strange, puritanical rule, though he acted annoyed for appearances.
After George and Martha went to bed at eight o'clock on the dot, as they always did, Alex snuck down to the kitchen for a drink. After the day he'd had, he needed at least one drink, possibly five.
As he walked down the hall, the door to one of the guest rooms creaked open.
"What the hell?" Angelica materialized in front of him, her expression thunderous.
"I'll get you a drink." Alex said, stepping around Angelica and continuing toward the kitchen.
Angelica followed after him, like a predator stalking its prey. Alex rolled out his shoulders and tried to prepare himself for an argument with Angelica. She had defeated veteran appellate attorneys within two years of becoming an attorney. He knew that he could never win an argument against her - he could only survive.
He poured them drinks a kitchen. A glass of George's favorite whiskey for himself, a vodka soda for Angelica. She accepted the drink from him with narrowed eyes. She did not take her eyes off of him as she took the first sip.
Alex watched her, just waiting for her to broach the topic he would much rather avoid.
"So," Angelica's tone was deceptively conversational. "You want to marry my sister."
Alex sighed and set down his glass of whiskey.
"No." He objected straight away. "It was just a lie that made things easier for me."
"Why her and not me?" Angelica tilted her head.
"Because, ah…" Alex struggled for the right thing to say. "Well, I don't know. It's obviously a lie if I say it's Eliza, but if it's you…things might get blurry."
"Blurry?" Angelica echoed.
"If anyone from the city overheard it, they might believe it." Alex replied with a pathetic shrug. "You and I…we make sense. Eliza and I…god, I'd never make her happy. Everyone would know that straight away."
Angelica leaned back, appraising Alex with narrowed eyes. The right side of her mouth curled upwards. It was not quite a smile. It was too menacing to be a smile.
"So, what are you saying? You said you were engaged to my sister because you were worried that it would sound too realistic if it was me?" She asked.
"Something like that." Alex replied, taking a gulp of whiskey.
"Why did you need to say that you were engaged to anyone at all?" Angelica wondered.
Alex scratched the back of his head uncomfortably.
"Ah…George has this idea of what my life should look like that I…, ah, I find myself unable to live up to at times." He said. "It's easier to tell him that I'm doing all of the things he thinks I should, even if I'm not."
Angelica shook her head.
"Why wouldn't he be happy with the truth? You're a semi-successful lawyer at a prestigious law firm and you're sleeping with the boss' daughter." She shrugged, her smile growing more playful.
"He'd ask me why I wasn't marrying the boss' daughter." Alex remarked, shaking his head and taking another gulp of whiskey.
Angelica wrinkled her nose, managing to look sophisticated and childish at the same time – a feat that only Angelica Schuyler could manage.
"What's his deal with marriage? Does he think everyone needs to be as bored as he is?" She wondered.
Alex rolled his eyes.
"He isn't bored. I guess marriage makes him happy and he thinks it'd make me happy, too." He shrugged.
"Would it?" Angelica asked skeptically.
"Not if I was married to you." Alex bit back, smiling as he took a sip of whiskey.
"You would love being married to me." Angelica replied, her tone leaving no room for argument. "I would be an amazing wife, if I wanted to be – I just don't want to. I don't want to go to bed at nine o'clock and have my days blur together because they're all the same, with the same people, the same house, the same three restaurants...no. I want to go out and have fun with as many people as I can, as much as I can. As a matter of fact, what are we doing tonight?"
"Tonight?" Alex looked down at his sweatpants. "I, uh, I kind of assumed we were in for the night."
"No." Angelica decided. "We're going out. D.C. is, what, a forty-five minute drive from here? I'll call for a car. Wake up Eliza and tell her we're going out."
"What? No." Alex shook his head. "No, look. If you two want to go out, that's fine, but I should stay here. George and Martha would worry if I was out too late and I don't want to cause them any trouble while I'm here."
Angelica arched an eyebrow.
"We'll be back in before they wake up." She said. "What's the big deal?"
Alex met her eyes, trying to think of a coherent argument. Angelica tilted her chin, challenging him to defy her. God, she was intimidating. Alex loved that about her.
"Fine." He acquiesced.
There was really no point in arguing with Angelica.
She afforded him a satisfied smile that showed off her dimples. When she smiled in such a way, she was deceptively pretty. She looked sweet as could be; like birds and chipmunks might come running into the room to help her get dressed.
"Good." She said. "Now go on, get dressed. What clothes did you bring? Did you bring that one shirt that I spilled that blue drink on at Inferno? That would be perfect."
"No," Alex grumbled as they climbed the stairs. "I didn't bring anything to wear to a club. I was prepared to spend the holidays indoors with my family."
"God, you're pathetic." Angelica sighed, her mouth curved into an amused smile. "Do any of your townie friends have something you can wear?"
"I don't know." Alex replied.
The only friend who was even vaguely his own size would have been John. He emphatically did not want to tell John that he was going out clubbing with his fake fiance and her sister, whom he had slept with on several occasions. John had judged him for less.
"Call them up. Are your friends are cute? Your friends are always cute. You should invite them to come with us." Angelica persisted.
"I don't think they'd want to come." Alex tried to demur.
"What's the harm in asking?" Angelica pressed.
She stared at Alex with those eyes, boring into him and prodding at his willpower. Alex let out a sigh and hung his head.
"Fine." He acquiesced yet again.
Angelica smiled again. Alex could have laughed. He might have, if he weren't racked with anxiety over how quickly his lies could come crashing down around his ears.
As they reached the top of the stairs, Eliza cracked open the door to her room. She peered at both of them curiously.
"I thought I heard you two." She remarked softly.
She looked at them fondly, without an ounce of jealousy at being excluded. Eliza might have been the only person that Alex knew who did not appear to have a spiteful bone in her body. She did not monitor invitations to social events beyond her own. She always appeared startled by any office gossip that Alex dared to share with her. She never had a bad word to say about anyone.
"We're going out." Angelica told Eliza, her tone leaving no room for argument.
"Where?" Eliza accepted Angelica's statement as though it were as factual as the weather.
"Hm." Angelica glanced at Alex, thoughtful. "Which club was it that Senator Doyle's daughter got arrested?"
"Marquis? No." Alex shook his head, his tone firm. "No way. C'mon, Angelica. We both have careers. We both want to continue with those careers. We don't need that kind of trouble."
"I think we both know that we need a little bit of trouble every once in a while." Angelica replied, winking at him. Eliza looked down, embarrassed. Alex shook his head, frustrated.
"Angelica." He persisted.
Angelica rolled her eyes, the smile slipping away from her lips.
"You've been out to worse clubs with me in New York." She reminded him impatiently. "We both know your weird rules. No pictures. No posting. I'll stay out of trouble – I promise."
Alex frowned.
Angelica was one of the few people that Alex trusted enough to go out with. She knew that he wanted to be a Senator more than anything. She knew that even one damaging picture could ruin those hopes forever. Most importantly, she cared. She cared enough about Alex to avoid taking any pictures that could be incriminating; to avoid drawing attention to the fact that Alex was, at times, less than the exemplary citizen.
"Fine." He gave up on trying to argue with her for the night. "Just...go get ready."
"The car will be here in twenty minutes." Angelica said, beaming down at her phone as Alex trudged towards his childhood bedroom. "Don't forget to invite your friends!"
Alex sighed as he shut the door behind himself.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the group text that had existed between his friends and himself since high school. The conversation was dominated by everyone's well-intentioned concerns over Alex's sudden disappearance at brunch. Out of respect, they had limited their discussion over what they would do that evening to a few sparse texts, quickly followed by additional inquiry into Alex's well-being.
I'm fine. He assured the group chat. Does anyone want to go to Marquis tonight? Eliza and her sister are in town and want to go.
Fake-fiance Eliza? What the fuck? John contributed. I'm down for Marquis tho.
alex what the fuck Hercules added.
MARQUIS! Lafayette chimed in.
Car will be here in 20. Meet us at the bottom of the driveway if you want to come. Alex sent before tossing his phone on the bed.
Now freed of the attention that his phone required, Alex focused on the sparse selection of clothes that he had brought with him from New York. He didn't have anything that would look very appropriate for clubbing. With a sigh, he reached for a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans. It didn't matter much what he wore. He would get into the club purely on the basis of escorting Angelica and Eliza. Besides, he was not going to the club to meet anyone; not when thoughts of Thomas were still knocking around his brain, interrupting every other thought.
He changed quickly, then descended the staircase to wait for Angelica and Eliza. He knew that they would take longer. They were more thoughtful of their appearances than he was.
Eliza emerged first, ten minutes after Alex had sat down in one of Martha's uncomfortable chairs in the hall. She was wearing a knee-length blue dress with a diamond necklace that must have cost her father a small fortune.
"You look beautiful." Alex told her with a small smile.
Eliza smiled sheepishly. She tucked a strand of her glossy hair behind her ear.
"Wait until you see Angelica." She said modestly. She was always putting herself in Angelica's shadow. Alex still hadn't figured out if she preferred to be there, or if she was so afraid of being compared to her sister that she voluntarily stepped aside and allowed Angelica the center of attention.
"You look handsome." She added after a pause. She smiled ruefully and shook her head. "I should have said that sooner. I'm sorry."
Alex chuckled.
"Please. I'm in a t-shirt and jeans. You actually put effort into what you're wearing." He said.
"Still." Eliza said with a small shrug. She continued to smile ruefully. "You're always handsome."
Alex smiled back at her indulgently. He knew that she was just being nice. Eliza was nothing if not nice to a fault.
"Ahem." Angelica materialized at the top of the stairs, quite clearly ready to be admired and adored.
Alex did his best to oblige her.
"You look stunning." He told her, careful not to recycle the same compliment that he had paid Eliza. He rose from his seat to help her walk down the stairs in the absurdly high heels she had decided to wear. "I have a feeling we're going to be fighting off every khaki-wearing intern in that club."
"Hm." Angelica's lips curled into a devious smile. "I do have a thing for men who are already trained to fetch coffee."
"Angelica." Eliza admonished with no malice.
Angelica grinned at Eliza in that careless, endearing way that made everyone adore her.
Sure enough, Eliza returned the smile.
"If you ladies are ready, I think the car is pulling up out there." Alex said, watching as the car rolled up at the end of the gravel driveway. He glanced up in the direction of the stairs, half-expecting Martha to appear and ask him where they all thought they were going.
Angelica and Eliza exchanged looks that Alex knew he'd never understand before starting for the door. Alex trailed after them, careful to lock the door behind him.
They scooted down the gravel driveway, both of the women laughing as they teetered unsteadily in their heels. They grabbed each other for support as they wobbled forward. Alex snuck a glance in the direction of Thomas' house as he walked behind them. The porch light was off.
"Alex!" John greeted him first, wearing a broad grin as they approached.
Alex smiled back at him uncomfortably. He was very aware of the way that Lafayette and Hercules were watching Angelica, both of them undoubtedly hoping that she was not Alex's fake fiance.
"Hey," Alex said with a forced smile. "Uh, guys, this is Eliza and this is Angelica. Eliza and Angelica, this is John, Hercules, and Lafayette."
"Hey." Emboldened by the knowledge that Angelica was not Alex's fake finace, Hercules dared to afford her a charismatic grin.
Alex rolled his eyes.
"You're cute." Angelica told Hercules in a patronizing manner that she had come to master through countless encounters with the men of New York. "But it's a non-starter. I'm actually, ah, involved with Alex."
Hercules' eyes widened.
"Angelica!" Eliza gasped, horrified.
Alex let out a heavy sigh, knowing that the night could only go downhill from there.
"What the fuck, Alex?" John asked Alex for the second time that night.
"What? He's not really engaged to my sister." Angelica reminded them, annoyed.
Alex glanced back at the house. Though it was unlikely that George or Martha would overhear them from so far a distance, he still wanted to get Angelica and her unpredictable mouth as far away from them as possible.
"Okay," He said, trying to get the evening somewhat back on track. "Let's get in the car, huh? It's cold."
They bundled into the car that Angelica had called. Alex found himself sitting between John and Angelica. Hercules sat up front in the passenger's seat. Eliza and Lafayette were chatting in the middle seats, both of them laughing at some unknown joke.
"So...are you two dating?" John asked as the car started for D.C.
Alex looked down at his watch. It would be another forty-five minutes until they reached D.C., if the traffic was good. The traffic was rarely good, especially around the holidays.
Angelica looked to Alex, waiting for his answer.
Alex wished that he was dead.
"No," He replied, casting John a sharp expression. He knew that John would ignore it. "We're not."
"Huh." John drawled, nodding. His eyes roved over Angelica. She stared right back at him.
"I'm not interested." Angelica told him.
"I'm gay." John replied.
"Hm." Angelica hummed, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
Alex looked out the window and prayed that everyone would have the good sense to stop talking until they had reached the club.
Surprisingly - remarkably - by the time they reached Marquis, everyone in the car was on relatively good terms. Hercules had told a few jokes. Angelica had laughed at them, emboldening Hercules to make a few attempts at flirting. Both Angelica and John had watched Alex, waiting for some kind of jealous reaction. When he did not display such a reaction, Angelica played into the flirting, encouraging Hercules to continue. Alex didn't mind. He didn't feel anything for Angelica which would compare to how he felt for…
Well.
Eliza and Lafayette had become fast friends. Lafayette told Eliza about France. He visited home every summer to remember why it was that he preferred America. Eliza told Lafayette about New York, specifically her favorite sections of Manhattan. Lafayette had already promised to visit in the summer.
John and Angelica exchanged snarky interactions that seemed to endear them to one another. Alex didn't know if they'd kill each other or solidify their friendship with a blood oath - both seemed equally likely.
They were admitted into the club with little fanfare. The Schuyler name got Angelica and Eliza anything they set their sights upon. Alex and his friends simply rode their coat tails.
Inside the club, Hercules offered to brave the bar and get everyone's drinks. Angelica laughed at him. It wasn't his fault. He had never been out with a Schuyler before. He did not know that it was bottle service or nothing.
They took their seats among the plush couches of the VIP section. John was practically vibrating with excitement. Despite his own father's importance, he had never taken advantage of the perks of his last name. Alex had a feeling that he would start doing so very soon.
There was some famous DJ on stage. The music was loud, establishing a rhythm for the heartbeat of every soul in the club. People crowded the floors, dancing and forging fleeting connections that were not likely to last twenty-four hours.
"Is that Princess Margeux?" John asked, his eyes growing wide.
Angelica glanced over at the woman who did resemble Princess Margeux.
"Ugh, yes." Angelica confirmed, rolling her eyes and refocusing on the bottle of champagne in front of them. "Last time I saw her out, she took too much ecstasy and totally ruined Peggy's birthday. She owes me a new pair of YSLs."
"What a problem to have." Alex teased her good-naturedly.
Angelica narrowed her eyes, but quirked a smile. She was used to Alex's barbs about her privileged upbringing among New York's elite.
"Speaking of party favors," Angelica fished around in her purse and procured a small pharmacy of pills and powders. Alex watched his friends recoil in surprise.
"Angelica, really." Eliza sighed, shaking her head. "I think the drinks are enough."
Angelica threw a smile over her shoulder at her sister. She then turned to look at the guys again. Her eyes landed on Alex.
"Anything?" She asked, focusing her attention on Alex.
It did not miss Alex's attention that, among the substances, there was an amount of cocaine that could not be described as insubstantial. He still hadn't quite kicked the habit from his time with Roger, though he had at least curbed it enough that it was a treat for special occasions, rather than a component of his daily diet.
With some difficulty, Alex shook his head.
"I'd better not." He said. "I have some thinking to do tonight."
Angelica looked at him in surprise. Alex had a feeling that his friends were looking at him in surprise, too, though perhaps for a different reason.
"Thinking?" Angelica echoed. "About what? You're not working tonight."
Alex shrugged. He did not want to tell Angelica that he was still trying to figure out what he felt for Thomas, and what those feelings might mean for his future. He was trying to consider whether it even mattered now; now that he had said things that he couldn't take back, now that Thomas had stormed off and slammed the door behind him.
"I'd just rather not." He said.
"Fine." Angelica stuffed her traveling pharmacy back into her purse with a small shrug of her own. She then flicked her hair over her shoulder and looked to Hercules. "What about you? Do you want to dance?"
"Me? Uh," Hercules looked to Alex, gauging if such an invitation was okay.
Alex waved him off.
"Go," He encouraged him. "Have fun."
"Hell yeah." Hercules didn't need to be told twice. He took Angelica's hand in his and pulled her towards the dance floor. Angelica let out a laugh as she was dragged along. Alex liked her laugh. It was as glittery as the Tiffany's diamonds that she wore.
"How about you, Miss Schuyler?" Lafayette asked Eliza playfully. "That is, if your fiance will allow me to ask."
Alex waved him off, too.
"Go to hell." He said.
"I don't think so." Eliza demurred. She looked at Alex with those big doe eyes of hers. "I think that I should stay here with Alex for a little while. Why don't you go ask Margeux? She loves French guys."
Lafayette frowned. He had obviously not been expecting rejection. He looked at Alex as though he was somehow responsible.
"C'mon." John encouraged Lafayette, sensing that Alex did not wish to be subjected to any more drama than absolutely necessary. "I want to meet Margeux."
Lafayette allowed himself to be led over to the Princess. Alex watched them go with something nearing amusement. He then settled back against the plush velvet couch and gazed vaguely upon the masses dancing and shouting and drinking throughout the club.
"You aren't acting like yourself." Eliza remarked as soon as they were allowed. She scooted closer to him, so that she might talk at a normal decibel and still be heard. "Are you okay?"
Alex nodded.
"I'm fine." He said.
Eliza looked at him, unconvinced. Alex squirmed beneath her gaze. He did not like to be examined too closely. There was no telling what someone would find in him.
It might have been the glass of champagne going to his head. It might have been the music and the low light disorienting him. It might have been that he was so tired of lying that it made him want to lie down and sleep for ten straight years. Whatever it was, something compelled him to do the unthinkable. He told the truth.
"George and Martha's neighbor is in love with me." He remarked. "I might love them, too."
"Oh." Eliza was quiet for a moment. She looked around, as though the right thing to say might be among them in the club. "Is she...I mean, she isn't their age, is she?"
"No." Alex replied, frowning. "It's...ah...he's my age."
"Oh." Eliza said again. "He."
Alex nodded miserably, waiting for her to confirm what he already knew. This was not information to be shared. This was information to keep close to his chest, before it ruined his life. This was something he should bury deep down until he forgot that it existed altogether.
"I didn't know that you were gay." Eliza's brows furrowed somewhat.
"I'm not gay." Alex said, exasperated. He paused, considering his next words. "I think I'm bi. I've read a few books."
"Of course you have." Eliza smiled tentatively. Her words were not cruel. They were warm, laced with a fondness that was typical of a family member. "Why are you upset about maybe loving your parents' neighbor?"
"George doesn't exactly know that I'm..." Alex trailed off, shaking his head.
"Bi." Eliza supplied helpfully. She afforded him a lopsided smile framed with two perfect dimples. Alex couldn't help but smile back. "Why not?"
Alex shrugged.
"He's old-fashioned. I don't know what he'll say."
"What if he says something wonderful?" Eliza suggested.
"What if he says something horrible?" Alex countered.
Eliza wrinkled her nose. Her eyes sparkled beneath the strobe lights of the club.
"I know I've only met him once, but I can't see him saying anything horrible to you. He loves you. You're his son." She said.
"Well..." Alex ran a hand through his hair. "Not really. I, ah, I'm not exactly his..."
He shook his head.
"I'm sorry." He said. "I shouldn't be telling you this. This isn't very professional."
"We're in a club over the holidays and Angelica is pouring Cognac on your friend." Eliza nodded to where Angelica was, in fact, pouring Cognac all over Hercules. Hercules didn't seem to mind a bit. Alex smiled vaguely. "None of this is very professional."
Alex sighed.
"All right, it's not professional, but, uh...I don't know. This is personal, you know?" He persisted.
"Alex," Eliza placed a hand on Alex's arm. It was cold. Eliza's hands were always cold. "You should know that my father does a background check on every attorney that he hires. I, um...I think I know what you were going to say."
Alex looked at her in surprise. Eliza flinched slightly.
"I'm sorry." She added. "It's always been my job to read through the files before anyone is hired. I haven't told anyone, not even Angelica."
"Then you know that George isn't..." Alex started.
Eliza nodded. She bit her lip.
"Your real father – um, Mr. Hamilton, I mean – he did come by the firm, once. He was kind of...er...not what I would expect." She said.
Alex sat up a bit straighter. He didn't know that his dad had visited the firm. No one had told him. Why hadn't anyone told him?
"But George and Martha really seem to love you." Eliza redirected the subject. "I'm sure that you could tell George that -"
"You met my dad?" Alex would not be redirected.
Eliza's shoulders slumped. She pouted.
"Yes." She admitted reluctantly.
"Why didn't anyone tell me?" He demanded.
Eliza shrugged. She would no longer meet his eyes. She made him feel as though he had something to be ashamed of.
"You had just started working for us, and my father didn't want to upset you." She answered. She deliberately spoke softly, obviously hoping that Alex would not hear her over the thumping of the music. Alex leaned closer, holding his breath so that he would not miss a single syllable. "He said that you had promised to loan him money and he wouldn't leave without it. It was…a lot of money. Um, but when I called your office to ask if you were expecting anyone, you said no. Between your file and the way he was behaving, we assumed that this was some kind of shakedown. My father paid him double what he was asking for, so long as he promised that he would not reach out to you again."
Alex felt his stomach churn.
"Your father had no right to do that." He said.
"I know." Eliza agreed quickly. "I told him that, but he thought that he was doing the right thing, in his own way. You know how he is."
Alex clenched his jaw. He forced himself to consider Mr. Schuyler's actions from a perspective other than his own.
"Did he try to protest at all? My dad?" He asked, finally.
Eliza shook her head, her eyes swimming with sympathy.
Alex shook his head, still frowning. He knew that it was silly to be upset about this. His father had abandoned him when he was only seven years old, for free. It should not have surprised him that his father would willingly abandon him again when offered money.
"Your father should ask for his money back." He remarked, trying to make a joke about the situation. He could not bear Eliza's pity. "He's asked me for money at least a dozen times since then."
"Has he really?" Alex's joke did nothing to ease Eliza's sympathy. "Oh, Alex. I'm so sorry."
Alex shook his head again. He did not want her pity. He did not want her to watch him like he was a bird with a broken wing. He wanted her to pretend that Alex's father's behavior was normal; that everyone dealt with something similar. He knew that he pretended as much.
"Boo!" Angelica returned to the couch. She flopped down beside Alex, casting him a wide, drunken smile. It was the kind of smile that made everyone around stop in their tracks and stare. Angelica already knew that she was beautiful, but she was her most beautiful when she was too happy to care how she looked. "You two look too serious. We're supposed to be having fun."
Beside her, Hercules was staring at her, transfixed. Alex knew that feeling. He was surprised by the lack of jealousy boiling in his chest. He recognized that Angelica was stunning - there wasn't a person alive who wouldn't - but he was not possessive of her beauty. Not the way that he felt possessive of Thomas.
Poor Thomas.
Lafayette materialized. Alex glanced in the direction that Margeux had been. She was now dancing with John in the middle of the floor. Everyone had cleared space for them, watching in awe. They looked good together, John and Margeux. Alex couldn't help but feel a perverse sense of pride for John.
"You should be dancing." Angelica persisted, looking at Alex and Eliza pointedly. "Both of you."
"Angelica, I don't think we're really…" Eliza tried to protest.
"Dancing!" Angelica insisted.
She grabbed Alex's hand and made a heroic effort at hauling him off of the couch. She pulled so hard, her nose wrinkled and her hips wriggling with effort. Alex couldn't help but laugh good-naturedly and follow her out onto the dance floor.
The night ended late. The car drove everyone back to the end of the driveway at George and Martha's house. Hercules, Lafayette, and John said their goodbyes at the end of that driveway before piling into Hercules' car. Alex did not miss Angelica handing Hercules her business card during these goodbyes. He guessed that Hercules would make good use of the number listed on her card.
Alex risked a glance in the direction of Thomas' house as they started up the driveway to George and Martha's house. The porch light was off. The rising sun illuminated the house. Alex thought he might've even seen a shadow moving about in the windows.
"It's fucking cold out here." Angelica complained, pulling the jacket she had taken from Alex around herself a little tighter. She cast Alex an accusatory stare, as though he was responsible for the weather. "Hurry up – I want to get back in the house."
Alex forced a smile.
"Come on, ladies." He said, wrapping an arm around Angelica to keep her warm. He wrapped the other arm around Eliza, who smiled at him good-naturedly and moved closer against him, accepting the body heat he was offering.
Angelica nestled against him in what was, in all likelihood, the last time she would ever be so close to him.
When they reached the house, Alex removed his arms from Angelica and Eliza and allowed them to shrug off their coats and remove their heels.
"I'm going to bed." Angelica said with a yawn. "Thanks for taking us out, Alex."
Eliza nodded.
"I'm exhausted." She admitted. She took Alex's hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Will you be okay?"
They had been talking all night about Alex's father, his fear of telling George that he seemed to like men just a little more than he liked women, and his despair of returning to New York and living a life that felt artificial.
Alex squeezed her hand back and nodded.
"I'll be fine." He told her. "Thank you."
She smiled at him before dropping his hand and following Angelica up the stairs. Alex watched them ascend before shuffling to the kitchen for a drink of water. His head was pounding from the sleepless night, a lack of water, and a lot of loud music. He started when he saw George sitting in the kitchen, enjoying a plate of pancakes. His eyes flicked up to meet Alex as he entered the kitchen.
"Late night with the girls?" He asked.
Alex nodded.
"Good." George said, rather unexpectedly. "I'm glad to see that you and Eliza are still going out and having fun. You don't want to stop doing that. Most married couples do."
"Right." Alex knew that he ought to correct George right now. Eliza had told him as much. Still, the words bubbled up his throat and formed a clump that couldn't seem to get out.
"We really like Eliza. Her sister, too." George continued, making things infinitely worse without knowing it. "I think she'll be good for you."
Alex could only nod.
"You should get some sleep before Martha wakes up." George advised him, his tone affectionate. It stung, the way that George was proud of him for a lie.
"Yeah." Alex agreed, turning to start for the stairs. "Thanks."