Alex woke up at eight thirty – a mere four and a half hours after he, Angelica, and Eliza had returned to the house. He squinted at his clock and let out a sigh. If he slept any longer, Martha would worry about him. When Martha worried about him, it took a visit to the doctor and two days' worth of assurances to quell her concerns. It was not worth the extra sleep.

George was in his office, already hard at work. Alex did not want to disturb him. His resolve to tell George about Thomas had wavered since their conversation earlier that morning. He was willing to use any excuse he could to avoid it.

"Good morning, honey." Martha greeted him as he shuffled into the kitchen.

"Morning." Alex grumbled, scrubbing his aching eyes with his right hand. He dropped his hand and looked groggily around the room. "Is there coffee?"

"Of course." Martha replied, displaying mock-offense at Alex's question. She took it as a personal offense when someone doubted her diligence in maintaining the perfect household. "I made your favorite French toast with the Costco bread, too."

Alex's stomach churned. He had not woken up enough to stomach a heavy meal.

"Do you mind if I hold off on the French toast for a bit?" He asked as he grabbed a coffee mug and poured himself a cup of coffee. He glanced over his shoulder at Martha, gauging her reaction. Her lips were pursed as she scrubbed at a frying pan. "I'm letting my stomach settle before I put anything in it."

"I heard that y'all went out partying last night." Martha remarked, not looking up from her frying pan.

"Yeah." Alex took a sip of coffee. It was so warm, so soothing. He felt his posture relax. "Angelica wanted to go out while they were close to D.C. I hope we didn't disturb you."

"No, no." Martha shook her head. "I hope you had fun."

Something about her tone made Alex think that she did not, in fact, hope that he had fun.

"Yeah." He said again, this time uncertain. "Uh, I think I'm going to drink this on the porch. Is that all right?"

"Fine, fine." Martha waved him off with a glove-clad hand.

Alex did not stand around to question her. He grabbed his coat and hurried out onto the patio. The crisp morning air bit at his nose and his cheeks, but it was otherwise endurable. He took a long sip of coffee and appreciated the yard that he had played in for so many years before adulthood had claimed him.

After a few peaceful minutes, the door slid open behind him. Alex glanced back, fearing it was Martha with a plate of French toast. Instead, it was Eliza. Beneath her winter coat, she was wearing her pajamas. She looked soft and sleepy and utterly adorable. She was holding a coffee mug that matched Alex's. She smiled at him. Alex smiled back.

"Hey," She said, closing the door behind her. She took a seat in the chair next to Alex.

"Hey." Alex replied.

"I hope you don't mind some company," Eliza continued, her eyes scanning the horizon above the Potomac. "Gosh, it's beautiful out here, isn't it?"

Alex nodded, not trusting himself to respond with words. He didn't know how to explain that returning to Virginia felt like returning to a version of himself that he'd forgotten about.

"George was just telling me about all of the holidays we should come down here for. I told him that I would go to everything you invited me to." She continued, unbothered by Alex's silence. She cast him a sidelong glance.

"Thank you." Alex said, hanging his head. He stared at his coffee intently. "I will tell him. I think. Probably."

Eliza nodded. She didn't rush him. She was kind that way.

"I hope that you do." She said, finally. "I think you'll be surprised by how happy it makes you."

Alex just shrugged.

"I didn't mean to bother you." Eliza said after a few minutes of silence. She smiled at Alex in a way that made him feel guilty. "I just want you to be happy. I hope that you know that."

Alex nodded, still staring at his coffee.

"I do." He admitted.

"Okay." Eliza hoisted herself up from the patio chair. "I'll leave you to enjoy the view."

She placed a hand on Alex's shoulder and squeezed it. Alex looked back at her and placed his hand over hers. She smiled at him. It was another sad smile. Alex wondered how pathetic she must think he was.

After a moment, she gently removed her hand and went inside. Alex turned around and resumed his staring in the direction of the Potomac.

He sat that way for at least half an hour. His coffee went cold. His ears went numb. He didn't mind. He sipped at his cold coffee and wondered what his life might look like if he had stayed in Virginia. He wondered about the sort of job he could get in quaint Orange County. He wondered if he would still rent an apartment, or if he would commit to a house. He wondered if, in his house, he would have a pet. Someone to come home to at night. He wondered if he could commit to such a life.

After a while, he heard footsteps coming from the side of the house. He glanced to the side, expecting to see George taking his dogs out on their daily walk.

It was Thomas.

He was holding a plastic bag. His cheeks were red, either from embarrassment or the cold. His eyes were fixed on Alex.

Alex sat up in his chair, startled. Cold coffee splashed onto the patio beneath him. Alex swore under his breath and wiped the coffee running down the side of his mug with the sleeve of his coat.

"Sorry." Thomas cringed. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"You didn't – I mean, it's fine." Alex said, shaking his head vehemently. "Uh...what are you doing here?"

He automatically regretted his question. He was in no position to ask Thomas why he was there. Thomas deserved an apology. He did not deserve to be questioned, certainly not by Alex.

Thomas did not seem surprised by Alex's question.

"I'm just bringing back Martha's tupperware. I know it's the good tupperware." He replied, gesturing to the bag in his arms.

"Right, sure." Alex nodded. "Uh...I can just take that from you, if you want."

He rose from his seat uncertainly.

"Sure, thanks." Thomas agreed, holding the bowl out to him.

Alex set his coffee on the ground and stepped forward to accept the bag from Thomas. Alex's hand brushed against Thomas'. Thomas nearly dropped the bag, flinching back from Alex's contact. Alex knew that he did not have the right to be offended.

Alex started for the door into the house. It was cowardly, he knew, but running away was too tempting an option.

"Hey." Thomas' words halted him in his tracks. Alex turned to look at him, unable to make eye contact for more than a few seconds. "I'm sorry about what happened on Christmas. I think that I just got too overwhelmed with the holidays, and I..."

The door to the house swung open. Eliza popped her head out, her glossy hair spilling over her shoulder.

"Hey Alex, Martha wants to know if she should put away the French toast." She said. She then looked at Thomas, suddenly aware of his presence. "Oh. Hello."

"Hi." Thomas said reluctantly. The pink tinge on his cheeks deepened into a red hue. He looked down at the ground. "Uh, ahem. Anyway, I'll, uh, I'll see you around, Alex."

"Yeah." Alex didn't have the courage to chase him down. "See you."

Thomas turned and walked quickly towards his own house. Eliza stepped onto the porch, a puzzled look on her face. She watched Alex carefully. Alex busied himself with shifting the bag holding Martha's good tupperware from one hand to the other.

"Who was that?" Eliza asked.

"Oh, uh..." Alex knew that he couldn't lie to Eliza. She saw right through him. "That was Thomas, my, uh, I mean, George and Martha's neighbor."

"That was Thomas?" Eliza knew who he was talking about immediately. Her eyes grew wide. She placed a hand over her mouth in an extremely cartoon-y gesture. "I'm so sorry – I didn't mean to interrupt. Why didn't you tell me to go away?"

Alex shook his head.

"It doesn't matter." He said. "I've ruined it with him, anyway."

"Oh, I don't think so." Eliza replied, looking skeptical. "I saw the way that he was looking at you."

"Like he wished he could disappear?" Alex wondered, rolling his eyes.

"Like he wished you would go after him." Eliza replied. "And you should have. You still can. Why don't you?"

"Like I said." Alex responded, starting for the door. "I've ruined it."

Eliza let out an annoyed huff and followed Alex into the house.

"You're making excuses." She whispered to him, her voice laced with disapproval. She had never been shy about telling Alex what he ought to do. "So you follow him and tell him that you like him, love him, whatever it is that's going on with you. What's the worst that could happen?"

"He could reject me, then we could both die." Alex replied shortly.

Eliza rolled her eyes.

They stepped into the kitchen. Martha was putting foil around the baking pan that contained the uneaten French toast. Alex felt a pang of guilt. As a way of absolving himself, he held up the plastic bag for her to see.

"What's that?" She asked.

"Thomas brought back your tupperware." He said.

Martha accepted the bag and opened it, taking inventory of what had been returned. Seemingly satisfied that it was all there, she dumped it into the sink, still filled with water and suds.

"That was mighty nice of him." She remarked, beginning to wash the tupperware. "Why didn't you invite him in? Maybe he would have wanted some French toast."

"He was in a hurry." Alex lied, casting Eliza a dark look that commanded her not to contradict his statement.

"A hurry to do what?" Martha asked with a frown. "That boy is home more often than he isn't. He's always fussing about in his garden or working in his little home office. I hope you didn't make him feel like he had to run off before he bothered anybody."

"I didn't." Alex insisted.

"Hm." Martha didn't seem to believe him. She then glanced at Eliza and brightened somewhat. "Did you introduce him to Eliza?"

Eliza looked at Alex pointedly. Alex ignored her.

"Didn't get the chance." He replied.

"Hm." Martha hummed again. "That's too bad. You should have invited him to go out with you and the rest of your friends last night. I'm sure he'd love to meet your fiance."

"I don't think Thomas is the type to go out to clubs." Alex said.

That much was true. A crowded bar was as wild as it got for Thomas. Even then, he was always extremely uncomfortable. He preferred to remain at home. If he had to leave his house, he preferred to be somewhere quiet, without a whole lot of people or noise. A club was like his own special brand of hell.

"Maybe you're right." Martha conceded. She looked up at Alex and afforded him a determined smile that he knew to fear. "Maybe I ought to invite him over before the girls leave so that he can meet her."

"You don't have to do that." Alex insisted. "I'm sure he'll see her around."

Martha pursed her lips.

"Hey, Alex." Eliza steered the conversation to a safer place with the bat of her eyelashes. She placed a hand on Alex's arm. "Don't forget that you promised to take me hiking today."

"Right." Alex was glad for the lie. He was even more glad that Eliza was a convincing liar. "Yeah. Let me just grab a water bottle and I'll be ready to go."

"I'll get my coat." Eliza said, gravitating towards the coat rack.

"Maybe you could stop by Thomas' house and say hello when you head out on your hike." Martha persisted as Alex filled up one of George's gym water bottles. She was like a dog with a bone.

"Maybe." Eliza agreed before Alex could set off another argument. She pulled on her coat as she reentered the kitchen. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes." Alex said, eagerly following Eliza out onto the porch once more.

They started towards the woods, each of them savoring the silence. The grass – slightly frosted from the night before – crunched beneath their feet. Alex buried his hands in his pockets for warmth. In his haste to leave the house, he hadn't thought to grab gloves.

"So," Eliza finally broke the silence once they were a safe distance away from George and Martha's house. "Tell me all about you and Thomas."

"What do you mean?" Alex asked.

"I mean, I don't think he fell in love with you in the span of a few days." Eliza replied, linking her arm around Alex's as they walked. "How did you two get started?"

"It's kind of a long story." Alex said with a small shrug.

"Good." Eliza said, grinning up at him. "We have to stay out of the house for a while, anyway."

Alex's mouth curved into a self-deprecating smile.

"We were best friends when we were little kids." He replied at length.

"Oh." Eliza sighed, her expression taking on a wistful look. "Best friends into boyfriends. I love that."

"Not exactly." Alex interjected with a slight grimace. "See, back then I wasn't as secure with my sexuality as I am now."

Eliza let out a small, warm laugh. Alex smiled.

"When I started to have feelings for him, I sort of did an about-face. I found a new group of friends, started dating girls, and we kind of drifted apart until we graduated high school." He explained.

"Okay." Eliza said, not taking her eyes off of Alex.

Alex shrugged, embarrassed to be the center of attention in this discussion. He felt like he was laying himself bare, in a prime position to be judged. If it were anyone other than Eliza, he would have stopped talking by this point.

"After prom, though, we kind of reconnected a little bit. Some drinking and drugs may have been involved in that." He continued.

Eliza smiled and shook her head.

"Some things haven't changed." She said.

"Hey," Alex complained without any conviction. "I'm better now than I was a year ago."

"That's true." Eliza conceded readily.

She had seen him at his worst during his relationship with Roger. Alex was surprised that she had not quit working for him during that period of his life.

They were quiet for a moment. Alex focused on the stillness of the morning. He knew that he would not be able to appreciate the silence again for quite some time once he returned to the city.

"So you reconnected after prom." Eliza prompted him after a few minutes. She nudged him, looking up at him with an affectionate smile.

"Yeah." Alex continued on with the explanation reluctantly. "So then we sort of dated through the summer. Then summer ended and I went off to New York. He stayed here."

"Did you try long distance?" Eliza asked.

"No," Alex shook his head. "We didn't leave things on the best terms."

"Hm." Eliza hummed. She sounded just like Martha when she did that. "Have you seen him since you left for college?"

Alex shook his head.

"But he says he loves you?" Eliza wondered.

Alex nodded.

"We sort of reconnected again when I got here. We ran into each other a few times, got to talking, went out for drinks..." He tried to explain.

"Aha." Eliza said, nodding.

"And that's the whole story." Alex was glad to be done talking.

"Have you dated any guys in New York?" Eliza asked.

Alex sighed. His breath, warm against the cold morning air, formed a small cloud that hung suspended in the air before them for a few seconds before dissipating.

"A few." He admitted.

"Did you like any of them the way that you like Thomas?" Eliza asked.

Alex considered this.

He hadn't really liked Roger as much as he had liked Roger's money and lifestyle. That had been fun, while it lasted.

He had liked Lee, but their constant vigilance at ensuring that no one ever saw them together stunted any progress their relationship might have otherwise made. He did not have the chance to like Lee as much as he liked Thomas.

"No." He said at last.

"That has to count for something." Eliza remarked. "Do you think he would move to New York with you?"

Alex shook his head.

"I don't think so." He replied. "He loves Virginia. He always has."

Every since their childhood, Thomas had always taken exceptional pride in his home state. No matter where he traveled, he always claimed that Virginia was the best place he had ever been. Alex could not imagine him trading the serenity of rural Virginia for the chaos of New York City.

"Well, you can't leave New York." Eliza said in a playfully serious tone. "We would fall apart without you."

"I don't want to leave New York." Alex replied with a small shrug. "So I don't even know what I would tell him if I wanted this to go anywhere. I don't think long-distance would work very well. Another pandemic could hit and we wouldn't be able to see each other for a year, at least."

"Don't talk about another pandemic." Eliza groaned.

Alex shrugged again.

"I'm just saying – I don't see how it could possibly work out."

"Don't you think you should give him the chance to give it some thought, too?" Eliza suggested lightly. Alex looked at her in surprise. She smiled and shrugged. "I know you. I know that if you like him, he has to be smart. Maybe he'd think of something you haven't."

"I told you – I don't think there's any chance there. I ruined it already." Alex reminded her.

Eliza rolled her eyes and released his arm from her hold.

"I don't think you ruined anything. I think you're scared." She said.

"Scared?" Alex echoed incredulously. "Scared of what?"

"Scared of what happens if you tell him that you love him and he still loves you back." Eliza replied as though it were perfectly obvious. "Because if you tell him that you love him and you commit to him, and he leaves, he's just like your parents, isn't he? Just another person you loved whose left you?"

Alex blinked.

He hadn't expected Eliza to say something so hurtful. Eliza never said hurtful things.

"I'm sorry." Eliza rushed to soothe the injury that she had inflicted straight away. She looked at him in startled sympathy, as if she, too, was surprised by the words that had come out of her mouth. "I've been helping Peggy with her psych class and I guess I sort of...um. I'm so sorry. That was so completely not okay."

"Jesus." Alex said, because he couldn't think of anything else. Both he and Eliza stared at each other in surprise. "What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?"

"Learn from it?" Eliza suggested weakly. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." Alex grumbled. He rubbed at his eyes. "You're right. Fuck, I think you're right."

"I'm sor – um, I mean, I..." Eliza struggled to avoid apologizing again. "Oh, Alex."

Alex tried to force a smile. He could tell from the look on Eliza's face that it was not a reassuring one. He turned back towards the house to try to distract her from just how utterly pathetic he was.

Eliza looped her arm though his once more. She afforded him a smile that was less sympathetic and more warm.

"I love you." She said. "Even if he doesn't. And I'm not going anywhere. You know that, don't you?"

Alex nodded.

"I love you too." He mumbled.

It was true – he adored Eliza. He was crazy about her. It's just that those feelings never crossed the careful platonic boundary that they had first established when they met. He couldn't love Eliza romantically, but she was family.

They drew nearer to the house. Eliza pulled herself close to Alex, resting her head against his arm for a moment.

When he looked down at her, she glanced up at him and smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sorry." She said, despite having been told not to apologize. "I just...I wanted to enjoy this for one more second."

Alex quirked a small smile at her.

She would be going home the next day. He knew that they would have to resume their predominantly professional relationship, with their friendship only permitted to spill over into the weekend. He found that he liked spending time with Eliza out of the office. He wondered if it would be horribly unprofessional to suggest they start hanging out outside of the office for purposes beyond accompanying Angelica to clubs around the city.

"Okay." Eliza removed her head from Alex's shoulder and untangled her arm from Alex's. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her coat. She forced a smile. "You should go talk to Thomas. I'll see you in the city in a few days – you're wasting your time with me."

"Yeah?" Alex glanced over his shoulder in the direction of Thomas' house.

"Yeah." Eliza agreed softly. "Good luck, Alex."

Alex nodded before starting for Thomas house.