A week later, on Saturday morning after they had all risen but before they'd gone to the Great Hall for breakfast, Remus casually announced that he would have to return home for a few days on Thursday. Severus felt his heart rate increase at this news, even though he told himself that if James and Sirius wanted to beat him up or hex him, they would have done so already. They'd been living together for just under three weeks-the train had brought them to Hogwarts on Sunday-and everything had been going fine up until now.
Unless they hadn't wanted to bother with Remus there. But no. Thinking about it, Severus was reasonably certain that Sirius wouldn't act on his own, especially having seen his scars. James, too, had been even kinder to him ever since (Severus thought) he learned that his father regularly beat him. In fact, the five of them had begun doing their homework together, usually in the library, and they were amicable enough to him.
Except, really, it wasn't really a group of five. James and Sirius acted as Severus imagined twin brothers would act, always joking around or engaged in playful rough housing. Severus thought that if he had a sickle every time one of them elbowed the other or tried to mess up their hair, he would easily be able to afford all of his textbooks for his second year, and probably his third. Peter was also always around them, listening to their every word. They were decent to him, but he never quite fit in with their group. A third wheel, as the muggle expression went.
Then, there was him and Remus. Severus didn't consider Remus as close of a friend as Lily (who had found her own friends to study with), but he felt far more comfortable around him than around James and Sirius alone. Or James and Sirius and Peter. Really, he and Remus might be considered friends of the two pure-bloods, but not in their inner circle. Was it because James and Sirius came from wizarding families? Perhaps, Severus sometimes thought, even if Sirius had wanted to escape the pure-blood worship of the Slytherin House, he couldn't quite manage it. Not if his closest friend was also a pure-blood wizard.
Now, Remus was leaving the group, even if it was only for a few days, and Severus would face James and Sirius alone for the first time since the train ride.
And Peter, but he didn't truly count as a foe.
Well, there was little he could do much about this. As Remus had explained, his mother wanted him there to celebrate his grandmother's birthday, after all, and he couldn't very well refuse. So, he'd be leaving by Portkey the following Thursday, and be back by Sunday afternoon.
"Why so long?" James asked, helping Remus pack. "If the party is on Friday?"
Remus shrugged. "I suppose my other family wants to have a chance to see me." He gave them a small smile. "It will have been almost a month since the term began."
"I expect you'll going to go home for Christmas?" Sirius queried, sitting on the edge of the bed, and watching Remus add some socks to his trunk.
"I expect so, even if they want me to come up before then," Remus answered, looking thoughtful.
James and Sirius exchanged looks at Remus going home a second time before their two-week vacation, and Severus tried to reassure himself that they weren't plotting against him.
Severus tried to act as though everything was normal during the days leading to Remus' departure, but he really wished he knew some actual hexes in case things took a turn for the worse.
He left on Thursday morning before the others had woken up. Severus, being an early riser, and perhaps jolted awake by nerves, heard his friend walking around, likely placing items of clothing in an overnight bag. After a few moments, he decided that he might as well get up.
"Hello, Remus," he said quietly, loathe to wake the others.
Remus was already fully dressed, but not carrying anything. Still, his body seemed headed towards the door. "Hello, Severus."
"You're, er, not taking anything with you?" he asked.
Remus laughed. "I'll only be gone for a few days. I have clothes at my house, and my mum can clean my uniform while I'm there," he explained.
Severus nodded. Lily, in all likelihood, would take several changes of clothes, but she was a girl, after all.
"You're leaving right away, then?" he asked.
"In a few moments, yes. I need to stop by Professor McGonagall's office for the Portkey," he explained.
"I could go with you," Severus offered.
Remus looked uncomfortable, though it took Severus a moment to see why. Then, he realized he was still in his sleeping shirt.
"Oh, right," he said, managing a laugh. "Well, I suppose I'll see you on Sunday."
His friend nodded, then put a hand on his shoulder. "Severus, if you're concerned about James and Sirius...well, I wouldn't be."
Severus tried hard not to let his face grow red. Was it that obvious he was still afraid?
Well, not so much afraid as cautious. Sure, the two were decent enough as long as Remus was there, but what if everything changed when he was gone?
"Right. Well, I suppose I'll find out, either way," he said, a bit colder than he intended.
"Really, Severus. They're decent," Remus assured him. "But if I'm wrong, I owe you five chocolate bars."
Severus had to laugh at that. Given how much his friend loved chocolate, he must be really certain.
"I'll hold you to that," he half-threatened.
Then, Remus pulled him into a hug. Severus froze for a moment, then squeezed back.
"See you soon," Remus said, once they'd separated, looking a bit amused at Severus' reaction.
"Have fun at the party," Severus answered, managing a smile.
Which Remus returned, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
It was still rather early, except not early enough to bother try going back to sleep. Anyway, in spite of Remus' reassurances, Severus didn't quite trust James or Sirius not to hex him in his sleep. Mostly James. Unless Sirius was an excellent liar, he had seemed genuine enough over the last couple of weeks, mostly after learning about Severus' abuse. Perhaps, even if James wanted to hex him, Sirius could get him to knock it off.
Severus dressed and brushed his teeth, having already showered the night before. They'd have Potions this morning, and Herbology in the afternoon, so he ought to use the time to prepare for those lessons. Keeping the curtains to his bed open, he climbed back in, textbooks in hand. He lay on his stomach and began to reread the chapters they would cover.
He was so immersed in his studying that he didn't notice Sirius until his roommate playfully tugged at a piece of his hair. It was light enough not to hurt, but the touch startled him enough that he lost his balance and fell face first onto his book.
Sirius, to his credit, didn't laugh. "Merlin, I'm sorry! Didn't mean to startle you, Severus."
Severus forced himself upright, tried to look dignified, and looked up at Sirius. His face only showed concern, but Severus knew that his own was probably red with embarrassment.
"It's all right," he answered, although rather stiffly. He moved his sleeves up to examine his elbows which were, thankfully, free from any marks.
Sirius sat down at the edge of the bed. "Rule number twenty-seven of living with roommates. Don't grab their hair when they're immersed in studying."
Severus had to laugh, just a little, at that. "Should I be aware of the other twenty-six?"
"Well, they're not rules so much as things to be aware of," Sirius explained, with a mischievous grin. "For example, James snores."
"I do not!" came James' voice, followed by his body, and Severus had to force himself not to wince as his roommate headed over in his direction.
"Hmm. Maybe that is Peter, then," Sirius suggested, with an innocent grin. "I sleep with you on either side of me."
"Is not!" Peter mumbled from within his bed.
"It is definitely Peter," James insisted, now walking over to Severus. Or Sirius, rather.
James planted himself at the edge of Severus' bed, right next to Sirius, and slung an arm around him.
"You do talk in your sleep, though," Sirius informed James, with a grin. "Can't talk your way out of that."
James removed Sirius' arm from his shoulder before giving him him a light shove. "Oh, that's nothing. Mum screams in her sleep. Wakes up my dad." He grinned. "She didn't warn him before they got married."
"You're joking," Severus said, before he could stop himself.
In spite of the fact that they had taken up residence on the edge of his bed, they were talking to each other, not him.
But then James smiled at him, and it seemed almost genuine. "Nope. And Dad sometimes quotes Ministry laws he's read about in the Daily Prophet. Also, potion instructions. A perfect match, those two. You should be glad if I only snore. Which I don't."
Severus had to smile at this, and Sirius outright snorted.
Sirius gave James a poke. "See, James, he can smile," he said, in a stage whisper.
Severus' confusion must have been obvious because James spoke up.
"You've been acting like we're going to hex you ever since Remus announced he was leaving for a few days," he explained. "And you're always armed, as though prepared for it."
Severus stiffened. "I wasn't sure where we stood."
Looking at both of them, he could see their faces soften.
"Well, I thought we were friends," Sirius explained, carefully. "Especially after..." He made a motion to his back. "Not that we, er, were going to use it against you or anything," he added, quickly.
"Definitely not!" James agreed, nodding vigorously.
Severus stared at the blanket on top of the bed.
"I expected that you lot hated me and were out to make my life miserable ever since the train," he admitted in a low voice.
"Yeah, but we said that we were in the same house, on the same side, didn't we?" James asked, sounding both concerned and exasperated.
Severus looked up. "Well, yeah, you said that."
James put a hand on his shoulder. "I meant it. So did Sirius."
Sirius nodded, then cautiously put an arm around Severus' shoulders.
It was oddly comforting, and Severus swallowed, hard. "I, er, I didn't exactly have a lot of friends before. My mum, she's a witch, but my father's a muggle. Her family wasn't exactly thrilled with who she married."
James looked angry at this news, but Sirius just nodded, and squeezed Severus a bit tighter.
"Lots of pure-blood families are like that. Not James', but my family has this stupid tapestry with everyone's names and birth dates and all that. It's basically a family tree," Sirius said, slowly. "Except, if you do something really bad, and you're of age, your name gets burned off. I never really thought about it until now, because that was just something that happened. Everyone knew the rules, and if you broke them, well, it was your fault. Also, no one would bring up your name in family gatherings, except to use you as an example."
Severus looked at Sirius, then at James. "I've never met anyone from my mum's family, but I reckon they did something similar to my mum."
James frowned. "Whatever happened to marrying who you wanted, muggle born or muggle, and just making sure they knew not to go around blabbing to the Wizarding World? It's not like there are unlimited pure-blood families to choose from."
Sirius snorted. "Don't let my parents hear you talk that way. I got threatened with the Cruciatius Curse for asking what what happen if we ran out of pure-blood families. I was eight, I think."
Severus couldn't hide his gasp. "But that's illegal!"
Sirius just shrugged, then squeezed Severus' shoulders. "I expect pure-blood families can get away with a lot, especially if it's within their own family. Anyway, they didn't actually use it on me."
"We're getting off topic," James reminded them. "Look, Severus, if you don't want to be friends, that's your choice, but if you don't, we're not going to go around hexing you."
"I never said I didn't want to be friends." He looked at James, then at Sirius. "I do. Want to be friends, I mean."
They smiled at him.
"This calls for a hug," James determined. At Sirius and Severus' dubious looks, he added, "A group hug. Up."
He pulled on both of them, but more gently on Severus.
"You better not try to kiss me, James," Sirius grumbled, rising.
"Eugh, no way. Not with your morning breath," James shot back.
Sirius tousled his hair, but Sirius just laughed and grabbed hold of a piece of his.
Severus watched in mild amusement. Was this how most boys acted?
James had Severus stand in the middle of them, and they both placed their arms around his frame. He stood rather stiffly until James, laughing, instructed him what you do.
"First, you hug one of us, and then you turn and hug the other," he explained. "My mum calls it a hug sandwich."
Bemused, Severus followed his instructions. He started with James. Warmth filled him from all sides, and while it suddenly felt a bit difficult to breathe, he didn't really mind. The same thing happened with Sirius, who hugged him a bit tighter this time.
Finally, they separated.
Sirius let out a chuckle. "That wasn't quite as bad as I'd expected."
James rolled his eyes. "I guess the Black family doesn't hug a lot, eh? Or the Snape family?"
They both shook their heads.
James let out a put-upon sigh. "No wonder you were both sorted into Gryffindor."
"Oh?" Severus asked, grabbing his book bag.
"Yeah, Slytherin is just a bunch of cold old snakes," James explained, with a grin, and he slung an arm around each of them. "I'm telling you, you both really lucked out, being sorted here."
Sirius and Severus snorted, but Severus privately thought that James might not be too far off.
They grabbed their bags, and after dragging Peter from his bed, headed to get ready for breakfast.
Author's note:
Next up: Severus is REALLY good at Potions, and why is Remus so exhausted after just having been home to see his family?
As always, constructive feedback is most welcome. :)