Eileen smiled at Severus. "There's no need to be frightened, Severus."
He nodded again, but his mother's words didn't make it any easier to breathe. Was this a panic attack?
She stood, then gently pulled Severus to his feet and, with an arm around his back, guided him to the nearby sofa. He followed her lead, clutching the blanket, but letting the book fall to the ground. Once he was seated, his mother crossed the short space, picked up the book, and placed it on the small table before returning to him.
His mum then wrapped both arms around his shoulders and held Severus close to her. He leaned in, appreciating the comfort as much as her warmth. After several moments, she removed one arm and turned so that she sat next to him, facing Severus.
"Shall I begin, honey?" Eileen asked. At Severus' nod, she began her story.
"My mother and father both came from good families," she began, her voice soft and reflective. "Pure-blood, as I've told you before, but they were hardly the kind that believed they were better than others who had married muggles and muggle-borns. My father always told us that magic is magic, and as long as you could perform spells, he wouldn't think you were any less of a wizard than he was. My mum was the same way."
"Was?" asked Severus, softly.
"To my knowledge, they're still alive," Eileen amended. "I'm twenty-nine, as you know, and my mum was twenty-two when she gave birth to me. My dad, two years older. They are in their early fifties," Eileen calculated.
At Severus' nod, she continued. "They both went to Hogwarts, well before Dumbledore became the headmaster. I don't recall who theirs was. My mum was in Slytherin, and my father was in Ravenclaw. My father's younger sister was in my mum's year, and she was a Ravenclaw, but you know how houses have some classes together. Anyway, since Ravenclaw's entrance was a riddle, my father would often solve it...that is, when he became interested in courting my mum." Eileen smiled, and Severus imagined her parents had recalled this story on numerous occasions. "She was in her fourth year and he was in his sixth when they began seeing each other. Officially, that is. I rather suspect my father would have liked to begin seeing her earlier, but even though her birthday was in November, she was still just fifteen for her fourth year.
"They were both Prefects of their house, which I imagine made it easier to spend time together. They became engaged immediately upon leaving school, and both families came from enough money that my father's chief responsibility was to serve on various boards and the like, and see that the goblins were managing it well. They always did, and he wasn't someone who distrusted goblins, but he believed it was his duty to be diligent where money was concerned," she explained. "Now, my mum was a very talented witch and could have become successful at any number of jobs, but this was back when married women didn't work if they didn't need to, and certainly not well-to-do witches, so once she married, her role was wife and mother.
"She never seemed to mind, even with three house elves to help with the rearing of three small children-nappies and the like-and she gave birth to my brother first, after a year and a bit of marriage, and then my older sister two years later, and then me about two years after that.
"Many well off wizarding families don't like to have many kids," she continued. "If the first is a son, you might not wish for more, because you have your heir. If you have a daughter, you will likely try for a son. But after three, even if they're all girls, most stop. It's easier, you see, especially when you have more babies to feed and more clothes to buy. And that's only the beginning!" Eileen laughed. "You wouldn't dare buy your heir a second rate broom or used potions kits. You wanted to hold onto your money, pass it on to the next generation.
"My parents, now, they weren't of that mindset. Oh, they didn't want seven or more children," she added, with a laugh, "but they did want another boy so there was a neat two and two. Unfortunately, my mum only experienced stillborns after me, so I was the last.
"My brother and sister were both exceptionally good-looking. My brother had your hair, all sleek and shiny, only he wore it shorter," she said, smoothing Severus' hair, "and my sister had my mother's yellow hair and her ringlets besides. And her eyes! Severus, she had your exact eyes, Jessica did. She was beautiful from the start, and only became more so later on. Many girls go through a rather awkward stage around thirteen, fourteen, but not her!" Eileen laughed, but there was an edge to it. "I was rather jealous, especially since she was such a good person. It's harder, somehow, when they're beautiful and good...
"I wasn't hideous, nor was I entirely plain. I realize this now," Eileen explained, with a bit of a laugh, "but I certainly felt that way next to my family. Even my mum, then closer to forty, seemed younger and more vivacious than I was. I kept to my studies, too, spending hours indoors and brewing potions for my favorite class, and likely that didn't help my appearance.
"As you know, I became a Slytherin, just like my mum. My sister also was sorted there, and my older brother followed my dad in Ravenclaw. We had a rather friendly rivalry, but we didn't snub our noses at any house. You see, Sev, both of my parents had siblings in Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, so to put on any sort of show...it would mean hostility. All the same, I do believe that my immediate family believed that Slytherin and Ravenclaw were the best, because we were in those houses. Do you see?"
"I think so," Severus answered, leaning close to his mum, who wrapped both arms around him.
It felt nice.
It was the most she'd ever told him about her family. Before tonight, he hadn't even known that she'd had a brother and a sister. Tempting though it was to let himself fall asleep against his mum, he wanted to hear the rest.
Eileen began to card his hair with one hand, and Severus felt his eyes close. "While at Hogwarts, I made friends with the girls in my house, and a few in Ravenclaw, but I remained self conscious of my looks. No one ever insulted me to my face, but boys didn't look at me in the way they looked at pretty girls. And because I spent so much time on my studies, perhaps I didn't try as hard as I could." Eileen shrugged.
"At any rate, when I left school, my brother Horace had been married for a year and my sister was seeing a very good sort of boy in Hufflepuff, and there I was! I had my friends, of course, but no suitors.
"Now, we had a manor, like most well off wizarding families, but it was near a muggle part of town. Our house wasn't invisible to muggles, only impossible to enter. Because it wouldn't do to see the house elves doing chores or my mum gardening with her wand...
"A year after I finished school, I went to receive training as an assistant to a potioneer in our town. He was older than my parents, married with two children, so my mum and dad weren't worried about anything...untoward." She laughed a bit. "I knew that they had hoped I would be married rather than learning a trade, but as I had no prospects on the horizon, it was something to keep me occupied," she explained, still carding his hair with gentle motions.
"I saw that you won awards in school," Severus recalled.
"Yes, I did," she answered, with pride. "Professor Slughorn had asked me to stay on as his assistant, to help with brewing, but my parents wanted me to return home upon graduation. Not that I particularly minded...
"At any rate, I was occupied and felt safe in the environment. My employer's wife was a potioneer as well, and helped run his apothecary, so she was often there, and that made me feel safe. Not that my master ever tried anything, but back then, a girl like me had to guard her reputation. I learned a lot, far more than at Hogwarts, and I was very happy.
"My house was close to muggles, and of course, we dressed differently than they did, even back then. What we call robes, they call long gowns, but the muggles who saw us often remarked that we looked as though we were from the last century." Eileen chuckled at this. "I heard all sorts of theories. Some thought we belonged to a muggle religion that demanded we dress with gowns to our feet. Others believed we liked to live as though we lived a hundred years ago. Technically speaking, witches and wizards are supposed to blend in with muggles, but that certainly didn't happen in my town!
"And that, Sev, was how I met your father. The apothecary was a store for witches and wizards, enchanted to look like an abandoned building to muggles. If they came too close, they immediately remembered all sorts of things they had to do, and we never had any trouble," she went on. "Your father and his family lived nearby, and he often saw me on my walks to work. We exchanged greetings, and one day, well, he introduced himself.
"He was rather attractive back then. Not exactly a looker, but hardly..." Eileen trailed off, then added, "He seemed kind and had good manners and was always happy to see me, and, well, we became friends. Before long, more than friends.
"Our meetings were not exactly secret, but they certainly weren't out in the open. I didn't think my parents would approve of me seeing a muggle, although my brother had dated a few muggle borns at school before marrying a half-blood. Tobias wasn't a muggle-born, though, but he was interested in me, and no one had been before.
"To him, I was fascinating. I didn't dress like other girls, and he approved, and while our robes are certainly not like the dresses that muggle women wear, especially now, they hardly hid that..." Again, she trailed off, but Severus knew what she meant.
"That you were a woman," he supplied, sitting up a bit.
His mother laughed. "Indeed. He certainly noticed that I was a woman."
Severus turned rather red. His father had given him a rather blunt version of what Lily called "the talk" when he turned ten. He had warned Severus to be prepared not to do anything that would result in offspring until he was old enough to provide for them.
"Women claim they have it hard because they deliver the tykes, but we're the ones who gotta slave for their upkeep," he'd explained, bluntly. "Bigamy is illegal even for your kind, so you better be careful about what you do until you can get married and handle the brats."
Severus had taken it to mean that he had not been the only "brat" of the family.
Tobias hadn't meant that they had had other kids.
Eileen waited until the color faded from Severus' face, and hers was rather red as well.
"He didn't ever force me, Sev. Tobias was many things, but he never forced himself on me before marriage. He did encourage me, slowly, and more than once." She chuckled. "I told myself it was to keep his interest, that I was still a respectable woman, and that it was close enough to when I was about to bleed that nothing could happen. Until, well, you happened, honey.
"I knew after I hadn't bled for three months. I had begun to show. Robes can only hide so much, and even with..." Eileen went quiet, then she cleared her throat. "Well. I knew, and while I did my best to hide it from my family, I didn't wish to hide it from Tobias. I was sure that he cared for me.
"He was surprised, but readily married me. I was four months along, roughly, at that point. I didn't tell my family. I just asked my master for permission to miss work one day, and he agreed. And we married.
"It wasn't a magical wedding, since I hadn't told Tobias about that. A minister of some church married us. I went home and told my mum and dad. I didn't tell them about you, Sev, only that I had married a muggle I had fallen in love with. They were...stunned.
"I gathered my clothes and the money I had earned, and left. A month before you were born, Sev, I told Tobias that I was a witch. He thought it was a joke, at first, until I did some magic for him. He was shocked, and made me swear on your life never to use any spells against him. It wasn't an Unbreakable Vow, of course, but I kept my word. Even when I shouldn't." Eileen held Severus even tighter, and he was glad.
"Things went well enough for awhile. I did have to leave my job, on his orders, because he wanted me and only me to care for you. Truthfully, I didn't mind. He didn't even mind that I could do magic, just as long as I didn't use it on him.
"But when you began to show signs, around five years of age, everything went sour," Eileen explained. "He began to hurt us. I can't remember how many times afterwards I wished I had picked up my wand or left altogether, but I knew that I had nowhere to go."
"What about your parents? Wouldn't they...?" Severus trailed off.
"I wouldn't burden them with us. I would sooner go at it alone. And I had money, some money, so I hung onto it for your schooling, and in case I needed it. I didn't realize until much later that I needed it long ago."
She held Severus so tightly he couldn't breathe very well, but he didn't mind. He didn't want his mum to let him go.
"I had planned to leave him when you went to school, but hearing about your sorting confirmed it. If you could be brave, so could I. So, I up and left, and then went to the ministry for a divorce. Of course, he had to sign the papers, which I sent by owl post, but it was easier to get his signature for the divorce than to get the toad to marry me. I received them signed the next day. I had my job, and I had my freedom from him," she said, softly. "And, Severus, I am so sorry that I didn't do this when he first started to hurt you."
His mum stopped speaking, and Severus knew that she had nothing more to say.
She was waiting for him to speak.
Author's note:
Up next-Severus reflects, and then acts.
As always, constructive feedback is most appreciated!