Chapter 4: Release

'He wishes to give her all she yearns for and more, he just isn't sure she's ready for the same.'

He lets her take the lead, again. It's probably the worst moment to finally cross the last remaining line between them, she's too vulnerable but there's no stopping her. Olivia's hands run all over his back as she kisses him, her lips demanding and rough. Frantic, that's the word he would use to describe her at this moment. She walks him backwards until he feels his legs hit the side of the bed, he sits down on it and tries to reach for her.

"Lay back." She whispers against his lips, pushing his hands away.

Elliot settles back with his head on the pillows, her hands grasp his pants and quickly take them off, he's not wearing underwear and she moans appreciatively when she sees him ready for her. Climbing in, she straddles his legs and sits down on them, her hand grips his cock beginning to stroke him from root to tip, her thumb sweeping over the head with each pass. She already knows how to make him groan. Even as good as it feels, he tugs on her arm trying to bring her closer, needing to finally feel her naked skin on his. Olivia understands what he wants, releases him, and stands up, quickly taking her underwear off and pushing her t-shirt up and off her body.

"You're beautiful," Elliot says as she crawls over his body again. His eyes take all of her in, the elegant column of her throat and delicate neck, her full and round breasts, her small waist, her soft belly. He craves to run his tongue all over her, suck on her pink nipples, make her whimper, and call out his name. He has yearned for her for nine years, for her and her body; lusted for her more times than he can count even when there was still a wedding ring on his finger. He still can't quite believe this is Olivia Benson naked in bed with him, ready for him.

She teases them both, setting her wet center over his length and rubbing her core over him a few times, moaning at the sensation and coating him with her juices. She grips the base of his cock again and positions herself over it. His hands settle on her hips and he stops her before she can go any further. He knows he has a box of condoms somewhere in his apartment, and although he knows why this whole thing began, what he had offered her, and what he wants, he also needs to know she still feels the same.

"Liv... Should I...?" He asks.

"No." She answers, determined. "Like this, just like this, El." Her eyes bore into his as she grips him tighter and guides him inside of her. She lets him enter her all at once, gasping at the feel of him filling her. With her hands clutching his chest and her nails digging into his skin, she immediately starts moving, her rhythm hard and fast not waiting for the slight pain to subside. He grasps her warm breasts and she pushes herself on his hands wanting more of his touch, as he kneads her soft skin and pinches her nipples, making her cry out.

"God, El. I need this." Her breath is labored as she rides him, losing herself in the absolute pleasure he was giving her. "I need you inside me."

"I am, Liv. I am inside you." He tells her, his hands leaving her breasts and clutching her hips to help her move over him, increasing the pace. "So deep, you feel amazing." She whimpers, sitting up, and squeezes one of her breasts with her left hand as her right one goes down to where they are joined, her fingers begin rubbing her clit with vigor. He groans at the sight.

"That's it, Liv. Touch yourself, show me again how you like it." It only takes her a few more seconds and soon he feels her tightening around him. It is too much and not enough at the same time. The vision above him is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, she cries out as she goes over the edge and he grabs her hips harder pulling her down roughly on his cock. "Just like that, come for me. Fuck, so beautiful." He encourages her.

She leans over him after the last tremors of her orgasm pass, sweaty and sated, and smiling down at him, trying to catch her breath. Her hands fall on the bed on either side of his head. "Your turn now." She whispers seductively before kissing him, lifting her hips and ass high in the air, giving him space to thrust up and seek his release inside her. He finds it soon and spills years' worth of longing inside her.

His arms wrap around her as she lays on his chest, both exhausted, with him still inside her. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that, Liv. To feel you, see you like this. I will never get tired of it." He admits, one hand brushing over her warm back. She raises her head and looks at him for a second, her expression anguished.

"You need to stop saying those things." She tells him, pushing away from him and wincing a little when the connection is lost. She rolls onto her back, beside him as her hands pull the sheet up and over her body, trying to put some distance between them and their naked bodies.

"Why? What are you so scared of, Olivia?" He asks turning on his side to face her. She doesn't look at him, instead, she turns again facing away from him. "Tell me." He's afraid to push her, worried she might push herself further away from him.

"If you keep saying those things... I- I'm afraid I will... I will start believing them." She tells him, sighing. He takes his chances allowing his left arm to sneak under the sheet and wrap around her waist pulling her tight against his body. Elliot sighs when she doesn't move away and lowers his head, brushes his lips over the crook of her neck.

In the throes of passion, her inhibitions disappear but her walls seem to come back up afterward, he realizes and wonders if she thinks this is just a means to an end, wonders if he is just a means to an end for her. No matter how fast they are going, he's ready and they have waited long enough, but they also need to talk it through. What are they doing? Are they just sleeping together? Fucking and maybe trying to get her pregnant? Is that all for her? He knows he wants her, wants everything with her. A relationship, a family even. He wishes to give her all she wishes for and more, he just isn't sure she's ready for the same.

"I am not going anywhere, Liv. So you better start believing what I say." Elliot tells her, placing a kiss on her neck and resting his head on the pillow next to her.

Olivia stays, feeling warm and safe in his arms. She allows herself to relax, to believe him, to enjoy this, at this moment... whatever this is. She is so used to being alone it's hard for her to open up, let herself need someone... or him, need him like this, want him so much. She isn't quite sure of what they are doing either, the last 24 hours are a blur but she just knows she has craved his touch just as much as he did hers, maybe more. And the implications of it scare her.

Elliot reaches for her hours later, still half asleep, he turns her onto her back and his lips touch hers softly. He trails his mouth down her cheek and over her neck, sucking at her skin there until he feels her stirring.

"Good morning," Elliot whispers in her ear, placing a kiss there and pulling the sheet off her body to kiss a path from her neck, past her chest, and down to her breasts.

"Hmm. It's the middle of the afternoon..." She murmurs amused, cracking one eye open and closing it back up when she sees the late afternoon sun coming through the blinds of his bedroom, she concentrates only on the feel of his mouth on her skin.

"I know but we weren't even up that long and didn't even have breakfast, it feels like I am just starting the day." She moans when she feels him nip at her collarbone. "Although, I am not planning on getting up from this bed, not for now at least. Neither are you." He murmurs before placing a kiss in the valley between her breasts and grasping one in his hand as his mouth lavishes the other one, drawing her now hard nipple between his lips and sucking it intensively.

"I'm not?" She asks playfully, feigning ignorance.

"Nuh-uh." He grumbles, his mouth full of her breast.

Olivia smiles at his words and his possessiveness as he worships her, he could be such a smug bastard sometimes, she thinks. It was bound to happen, that he would get even more possessive in bed, although she didn't think she would enjoy it as much as does. Her fingers slip through his hair, clutching his skull and keeping his mouth tight against her skin. His hand leaves her breast and wanders down the soft skin of her stomach and lower, kneading her thighs, parting her legs, and then moving back up to where she is warm and moist, and waiting for him.

One of his fingers dips inside her gently to test her. "Hm, so willing already, so fucking wet for me." Elliot groans, switching his mouth to her other tit, circling his tongue over her erect nipple and nibbling on it lightly, making her cry out with want. He sinks that same finger all the way inside, then adds another, beginning to pump them into her. He wants her dripping before he fucks her again. He lays his head back down next to hers, facing her so he can watch her.

"I want to see you come again, Liv. With my fingers deep inside you, like the first time. Come on, baby, give it to me." He begs against her ear, urging her and placing tender kisses on her cheek. His fingers are thick and callused and are stroking her with determination while his words and eagerness are making her crumble faster than she expected. His impossibly hard cock is pushing insistently against her hip, and she blindly wraps her left hand around it and begins to stroke him in time with the movements of his fingers.

She turns her head to the side and sees his gaze moving back and forth between her face and what he was doing between her legs, the intensity she sees in his eyes turning her on even more.

Moving her head up she places a lazy kiss on his lips as her hand moves faster over his cock, making his breath catch and enjoying the effect she is having on him. Her tongue runs over his lower lip demanding entry and she grunts when he opens his mouth and his tongue comes out to play with hers.

"Do you really think we should be doing this?" She asks tentatively, pulling away from the kiss to catch her breath and giving him another glimpse of her doubts and fears. He removes his fingers from her and moves over her body, settling between her legs.

"I do." He breathes, crushing her lips again with his and pushing his length inside her, thrusting over and over until they both fall apart.

They doze tangled around one another, the emotions of the past few days and their activities finally taking their toll on them. He wakes up disoriented, hours later, noticing first that it's nighttime and second, that he's alone in his bed. Feeling like a déjà vu of the events of that morning he fears she's might have left and he gets out of bed but immediately feels at ease when he hears the sound of the shower running in his bathroom. He sees she has left the door partially open, a sign she wasn't pushing him away but still needed space, and leaves her to finish her shower, picking up his discarded clothes from the bedroom floor and putting them on, he heads to the kitchen in search of food.

It's the smell of a warm meal cooking that draws her toward the kitchen when she exits the bathroom. "Something smells good. Are you cooking?!" Olivia asks stunned at the sight of him in front of the kitchen stove as he takes the lid off the pot and checks on the sauce he's preparing.

"I am, you hungry?" He asks stirring the contents inside a pot.

"I don't know. Not really." She replies just as her stomach growls loudly.

"Liar." He chuckles. "Don't act so surprised, Liv. I do have four children, can't let them live off burgers and fries." He tells her looking amusingly towards her, the expression on her face makes him pause and realize he talks too much sometimes. "Oh, shit. I'm sorry, Liv. I didn't mean... I didn't-" he stumbles over his words. Did he really have to mention having kids right now? He berates himself.

"It's okay, El." She smiles reassuringly. "You don't need to treat me like I might break. It's just... hard sometimes. It's a delicate subject right now, I guess. It's not your fault. I'm okay"

He lets out a heavy breath and walks over to her, surrounding her waist with his arms and bringing her closer he places a kiss on her forehead. It is then he truly notices she's only wearing a towel over her still damp body and the heavy mood dissipates, replaced with something thicker.

"That's a good look on you. Should wear it more often." His lips brush softly over hers as his hands move over her naked arms. "Although, it might bring some unwanted attention, and I don't like to share." He grumbles, lowering his forehead over hers.

"You are a possessive ass, you know that?" She tells him, not at all mad.

"I do, but I've been calling you mine for years, Liv." He admits, his nose brushing tenderly against hers.

"Elliot..." She warns.

"I know." He relents and changes the subject. "Go get dressed or I won't be able to resist and the food will go cold." He releases her and she starts to head for the bedroom. "Liv..." His voice stops her in her tracks, he hesitates before continuing. "You should stay, you know, after dinner..."

Olivia turns and looks at him, a small smile on her face. She turns back around and disappears inside his bedroom without answering him.

TBC

You asked for smut, you got it.
Huge writer's block for this one. If you all don't hate it, I will try to update soon.