Auld Lang Syne Burg Style

A/N: This chapter incorporates the Janet Evanovich Fan Fiction January 2022 Writing Challenge.

Activity: New Year's Day

Dialogue Prompt: It's a I want to fake my own death, move to Mexico, and live off of tacos and tequila kind of day.

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Chapter Two

Ranger caught up to Stephanie and took her by the elbow. She tried to jerk away from him, but he tightened his grip and steered her around the corner into the alley by the bonds office. Neither of them needed an audience for this conversation. Connie had already thrown a couple of curious looks his way as he high-tailed it out the door after Stephanie. Ranger wasn't known for chasing after women; they always came to him, except for Stephanie Plum, Vinnie's little wolverine cousin.

They rounded the corner and stepped into the alley and Stephanie gave her arm a yank, pulling away from Ranger.

"What!" she hissed as she whirled to face him.

She reminded him of a little hissing, spitting kitten. Pissed off, but adorable. The twinge in his jaw reminded him she had claws.

Ranger let her go, and crossed his arms over his chest, studying her. The flush on her cheeks, the fire snapping in her eyes, her erratic breathing. She was stunning and a tad prickly at the moment.

"Really, Ranger."

The way she said his name conveyed pure disdain, like the mere taste of it on her tongue was distasteful. Ranger thought he could probably kiss that bad taste right out of her mouth and his eyes dropped to those gorgeous pink lips that were still slightly swollen from their frantic kisses only a few short hours ago.

His nostrils flared, scenting the slight vanilla and jasmine that clung to her soft skin and he barely resisted the urge to nuzzle her neck, and inhale deeply. Just the slightest hint had quickened his pulse. Her scent had infected the fabric of his suit last night, swirling around him, making his body pulse with fire. Wishing he'd brought her home so he could work out the aching fervor that pulsed through him. Instead, the memory of her, that scent, taunted him all night, keeping him hard, stalking his dreams. He'd pulled his shirt out of the laundry this morning so he could smell her, convince himself she had been real. Help him ease some of the ache that had plagued him all night.

The minute he got home, he was giving that shirt to his housekeeper Ella and having it laundered, or maybe he'd burn the damn thing. It wasn't like he would ever put it on again and not think about her. He had no idea why, but he'd kept it out of the laundry this morning, wanting to keep a piece of last night for just a little longer. He'd officially boarded the crazy train, and right now it was barreling down the tracks, threatening to derail his orderly life in spectacular fashion.

"It's New Year's Day don't you have someone else's year to ruin? Maybe small animals to torture and sacrifice in some kind of blood ritual to feed whatever dark arts you're practicing." She gave a dismissive wave of her hand.

Ranger waited, doing his best to suppress the smile that threatened to emerge. He was pretty sure if he laughed right now, she'd knee him in the balls.

Stephanie gave a dramatic sigh. "Look, it's a 'I want to fake my own death, move to Mexico, and live off of tacos and tequila kind of day' already. Can we just agree this was a bad idea?"

"You being a bounty hunter or tacos and tequila."

Stephanie narrowed her eyes. "Being around you, ever again. You agreeing to give me pointers. Can we do our best to avoid each other in the future?"

"Babe, I told you bounty hunting is a dangerous business. You need to take this seriously."

"What makes you think I'm not?" She huffed.

"Do you have a gun?"

"No, do you think I need one?"

"Yes. Do you have handcuffs?"

"Depends."

Ranger couldn't hold his smile back any longer, and the corner of his mouth tipped up. He looked at the ground, mashing his lips together until he could rein in his smile.

"On?" He used his best military command voice.

Stephanie fidgeted a little, but seemed nonplussed. "What counts as handcuffs?" She finally asked. A red flush crept up her neck.

"Not ones you got from the Pleasure Treasure."

"OK, then no," she admitted.

The image of Stephanie handcuffed to his bed naked was now permanently emblazoned on his retinas. Ranger did his best not to groan or embarrass himself as all the blood in his body raced to his overeager dick.

"Jesus Christ." He mumbled under his breath.

The woman was going to kill him. He'd always expected a bullet to the brain or to be tortured to death. Nope, none of those things were going to take him. It was going to be this woman with the face of an angel and the personality of a honey badger.

Ranger's eyes drifted down. From the looks of things, either Stephanie was cold or her mind had gone to the same place as his. The bright spots of color dotting her cheeks suggested she wasn't cold; in fact, she was red hot. Maybe she wasn't as immune to him as she pretended to be, and an unexpected rush of pleasure poured over him.
Her eyes fluttered down his body, and the color on her face heightened. She suddenly became fascinated with his boots. Yeah, little Miss Plum wasn't as cool as she wanted him to think. Ranger quashed that thought with brutal force. It didn't matter this wasn't going anywhere for a lot of reasons.

Ranger let out a frustrated breath. This woman was going to get herself seriously hurt or killed and she was too stubborn to realize she was way out of her depth.

"Let me help you so you don't get hurt or worse."

"Why do you even care?" Stephanie snapped and crossed her arms, covering up those gorgeous breasts that Ranger had been studiously trying to avoid looking at, but losing the battle as he surreptitiously stole a couple of glances.

Back to being prickly. Apparently, she and Vinnie weren't that far away on the Plum family tree, even though Vinnie reminded him of a boneless weasel and she reminded him of…. His dick twitched. Stop! He chastised himself. The back-the-fuck-off signals came off of her in waves. Of course, he had thought she was a hooker, but really, it was one tiny mistake. She couldn't hold it against him forever. His gaze slid to the blazing blue eyes and grim set to her jaw. Or maybe she could.

"Well?" she prodded.

Because the idea of her getting hurt twisted Ranger's gut and made him break out in a cold sweat, but he couldn't very well tell her that. His reaction to her was unexpected and threatened his well-ordered life. Ranger did not like chaos and that woman had chaos written all over her. He had a fleeting thought that his life would never be the same. He pushed it away. No, he could do this. Ignore and override. She was a problem, and that's what Ranger was good at. Solving problems. Well, that and hunting people.

"I don't want you running around half-cocked, getting in the way, messing stuff up. Interfering and putting my men at risk. We are going to need to cooperate, we both work for Vinnie now whether or not I like it." Ranger gave a dismissive wave like he was batting away a fly. Besides, I promised Connie."

Ranger watched the hurt flash across her face at his harsh words, and he immediately regretted being an ass. Apparently with this woman that was his go-to move.

"Pass, I'll get tips somewhere else."

Ranger suppressed a sigh. What was it about this woman that made him want to simultaneously shake some sense into her while kissing her senseless?

"I have a proposition for you."

Stephanie glared at Ranger and he held up his hands. "A business proposition. You need quick money, right?"

Now he had her attention and was speaking her language.

"Go on."

"I have some distractions, clean-up, and searches I need help with. You do that and it's guaranteed money in the bank. I'll give you the cuffs and the gun, and deduct the cost from what I pay you. I'll throw in my time for free, as long as you don't tell anyone."

"Why would you do that?"

Ranger shrugged. "I have a business need."

Even as he said it, he knew this was a horrible idea, but now that he'd met her, he couldn't imagine letting her walk away. He'd do some sparring with his second-in-command Tank. Maybe Tank could knock some damn sense into his head, because what he was doing, and how he felt, bordered on batshit crazy.

He'd met her a few short hours ago and already she was fucking up his life. Ranger had a sinking feeling this was just the beginning. He was the Titanic, and she was the iceberg. The downfall he never saw coming. He hadn't gone fifteen minutes without thinking about her, but apparently it had been one-sided, and she hadn't thought about him at all. Then again, maybe last night was a common occurrence for her. His gut clenched and something like jealousy washed over him. Maybe he wasn't special at all. He gave his head a little shake. What did it matter? That had been a one and done. Ranger didn't get mixed up with women he worked with. He didn't do messy and he didn't do emotional. Both of those things had the potential to fuck up your life and get you killed, and Ranger wasn't terribly eager for either.

"And that's all." Stephanie eyed him suspiciously, like he might be a poisonous scorpion. Apparently, the only connection she felt to him was when her hand had connected with his face.

"Yes, why do you want it to be for something else?" Ranger purposefully made that statement sound like sex and sin, goading her to see what she would say, keeping her off balance.

Stephanie blinked at him a couple of times, like she was doing her best not to stab him. "I'm reasonably sure I'd rather be boiled in oil."

Irritation skittered through Ranger. He'd spent the entire night thinking about her. Wondering who she was, trying to figure out how to find her, just to see her again. He could almost feel the softness of her skin under his fingertips, her scent tickling his nose, and apparently, he rated somewhere on the scale between Ebola and the plague for her.

"Last night was nice and all sweetheart, but no worries, I don't do relationships or women I work with." His shoulder tilted up in a dismissive half shrug. "Of course, if you're up for some more no-strings fun, I could make an exception for you. I wouldn't say no." He gave her a wolf grin and a wink.

Stephanie sucked in a sharp breath and Ranger was pretty sure she was going to slap him again. Instead, she squared her shoulders and marched off and flipped him a classic Italian salute over her shoulder.

Ranger winced. That had not come out at all like he planned. Or maybe it had. Ranger needed her to dislike him and avoid him because Ranger liked her a lot, and couldn't seem to walk away even though he knew being around her threatened his sanity.

"So, is that a yes?" Ranger called after her.

Stephanie wasn't sure what she'd expected him to say, but calling her a nuisance and a loser wasn't it. He might be right, but his low opinion of her hurt more than it should. What did she think? He wanted to spend time with her or something equally stupid. He'd made it clear a random hook-up was all he was looking for, and despite all evidence to the contrary, Stephanie didn't do casual, although she could still feel him between her thighs and the temptation to make an exception was high. Surely last night hadn't been as good as she thought. It was just her runaway imagination. No one had a connection like that. Part of her wanted to kiss him again, just to see. To prove herself wrong. He was an egotistical jackass, and being around him shouldn't cause her to tingle in all the wrong places, but it did.

With that personality no wonder Ranger only did casual. No woman in her right mind would want to be around him with that winning attitude. Stephanie gave a derisive snort. A good fuck was not worth getting fucked. Except she kind of thought it might be, and that made her all kinds of stupid.

Last night had been downright magical. Right up to the point he'd opened his mouth and called her a hooker. She had a momentary flash of 'why me', that sounded way too much like her mother. Speaking of her mother, it was about T-minus ten until her phone started blowing up and her mother started demanding answers about last night. Stephanie pushed away the pity party and powered down the alley, as the little vein in her head throbbed. She didn't have a lot of options, and quick cash was exactly what she needed. She could tolerate this jackass long enough to make rent. She had to.

Ranger caught up to her at the end of the alley, and his hand at the nape of her neck burned like fire.

"Stop." It was a command.

Stephanie kept walking.

"Please." Ranger gritted out between his teeth.

Despite her burgeoning foul mood, Stephanie suppressed a smile. Please was definitely a foreign word to this man. She turned and quirked an eyebrow at him, giving him her best bored look. Ranger let his hand drop, and she immediately missed his touch. Clearly, she was crazy, but she pushed that fact aside.

"Truce." Ranger held out his hand to her.

"Why do I think I'm going to regret this?" Stephanie mumbled and shook his hand.

"Don't worry babe, I already do."

Stephanie gave him one last wilting glance as Ranger's hand landed on her low back and he guided her to his car.