Chapter 1 - You're Not What I Asked For
Bella tried to drown out the sound of his voice, but there was no use. Edward Masen, a part of her past that she had finally locked away as best as she was able, was standing in the lobby of her building with his finger smashed against the intercom as he berated her through the tiny speaker. She knew he would stay there until she buzzed him up or someone called the cops. He had a reason to, and this stunk of Charlie and his well-meaning interference.
"Edward, if I let you up here, will you talk about this like an adult instead of hollering like a lunatic?"
There was a moment of silence before the crackle was back. "Promise to tell me the truth."
"Yes."
"Fine."
Bella pushed the button to buzz him in and waited for the knock on the door. It came a few minutes later and she braced herself before letting him in. He stormed past her and she had to bite back the laugh that wanted to escape. Anthony definitely got his temper from his father.
"I was sorry to hear about Elizabeth," she told him.
"You knew?" he asked, stopping dead in his tracks.
"Alice called me when she found out. Esme was inconsolable," Bella admitted.
"It amazes me that you kept in touch with them all these years."
"Did you expect me to cut them out of my life because you abandoned me? Alice is my best friend and your aunt and uncle are practically family. I don't walk out on the people I love."
"No, you just have their kid and never call them," he shouted.
"That was strike one. Two more and you leave, got it, Eddie?"
"Fine," he muttered. "Can you tell me what happened?"
"You don't remember?" she looked at him incredulously.
"Yes, of course I remember that," he spat.
"Then you remember tiptoeing around the next morning to finish packing and get dressed before you left me alone in that hotel room."
"So this is payback?"
"No, this is me doing what you told me to. You said not to contact you anymore."
Edward narrowed his eyes and spun on his heel towards the door, pulling it open.
"Walk out that door and your next chance at knowing your son will be when he's an adult, if he chooses to let you into his life."
Edward held the door open for a minute before slamming it closed again. "I could take you to court."
"I work in a lawyer's office, Edward. Jason Jenks would find the best person in Seattle to represent me."
"Jason Jenks, the criminal defense lawyer?" Edward asked.
"The one and only, I've worked for him since just after Anthony was born. He-"
"Anthony?" Edward gasped.
"Anthony Masen, he's named after his father, without being named after his grandfather."
"My dad would shit kittens knowing that you work for a lawyer and I'm an artist."
"Wait until I pass the bar exam," Bella muttered.
"You're going to law school? How?"
"Seattle University offers night classes. It takes four years instead of three, but I start my final year in September."
"Who watches Anthony all day?"
Bella shook her head. "He's in pre-k until three, and then he gets picked up by Jasper or Esme depending on their schedules. They keep him Monday through Wednesday when I'm in school. Then, on Thursday and Friday, I pick him up and he spends the last few hours in daycare at the law firm."
"And today?" Edward asked.
"Alice and Esme wanted a day with their little man. After the trip to Chicago, I couldn't tell them no."
"Can I be here when they drop him off?"
"No," she responded.
"No?" Edward scoffed.
"Edward, with the exception of a drunken night five years ago, the last time I saw you was on the worst day of my life. You don't get to just walk back into my life after all these years and think all is forgiven. Trust is earned, and I won't let you walk out on Anthony like you did Lizzy and me."
Edward's eyes grew comically large for an instant before he whispered, "Lizzy … that's what she meant."
"What?" Bella asked.
"Something Esme did at the wake. I thought she was just talking to my mom, but now I'm not so sure."
"Oh, well you would know what I named our daughter before they took her away if you had stuck around, but you couldn't get away from me fast enough that day. It took you, what, three days to change your number and email address so any way I had to contact you, short of going through your family, was gone?" Bella was barely able to hold in her anger, she knew there was blame on both sides, but she couldn't get past her own feelings of betrayal.
Edward didn't seem to let the comment hurt him, instead, asking the question he needed an answer to. "If I want to earn that trust back, you'll let me?"
Bella sighed. "Yes, Edward. But you have to mean it. Because he won't understand what happened if you walk out again. So make a decision, really think about it. And once you're sure, then you can get a hold of me again."
"Fine, you will hear from me."
Edward stormed out and Bella closed the door behind him. She wanted to believe that Edward would do the right thing, but there was too much scar tissue around her heart at this point for blind faith.
Esme and Alice showed up within an hour and Bella recounted the whole confrontation.
"This is good, Bella. If Edward comes back maybe you can all be a family again." Alice clapped.
"It isn't that easy, Ali, and Bella is right to be cautious," Esme chastised her daughter. "Edward came to us with his own demons because of his father, and when things got tough, he returned to him instead of dealing with it. Elizabeth tried when he returned for college, but he didn't want to care about anything after you all lost Lizzy. "
Bella hated them having a conversation about her around her. "Look, I love you both, but I can't talk about this right now. I have no idea how things are going to work out."
"Mommy sad?" Anthony asked from his spot on the living room floor.
"A little, but you make it all better. Play with your blockies and we'll put on a movie after dinner."
A smile broke out across his face and he returned to the tower he was building.
"Edward has to decide if he's even going to be a part of his son's life. Once that happens, I will be the one calling the shots. He will hate it, but I need to know that my son is safe."
"You don't seriously believe he would hurt Anthony?" Alice asked.
Realization hit Bella, soon followed by anger. "It was you! You told him about Anthony while you were back in Chicago. Dammit, Alice!"
"Bad words, Mommy," Anthony called.
"Alice, did you?" Esme asked.
"He needs help, and the only thing that would get him out of Chicago and Uncle Edward's toxic orbit would be Anthony."
"So you're relying on my son to fix what is fucked up in your cousin? Losing Lizzy didn't keep him around, it made him bitter and hateful. You weren't there in that hospital room. You didn't get there until after it was all over. I will always love you for how you helped me in the weeks and months that followed, but I don't know if I can forgive you for bringing the hurricane that is Edward Masen back into my life."
"What are you saying?" Alice asked.
"I'm telling you to leave, and don't drop by without an invitation."
"Bella, you don't mean that." The pleading tone in Alice's voice just made Bella angrier.
"I do. I can't trust you right now. You always wanted Edward to come back and grovel for how he broke us, so you forced the issue."
Esme gripped Alice's shoulders. "Honey, let's go. Bella has a lot to figure out right now."
Bella smiled sadly at Esme, glad that the betrayal hadn't come from both of them. She locked the door and turned to her son, who was oblivious as he played with his blocks. A lot of things would be changing, and she didn't like not being in control.
Cooking dinner gave her some time to think, but soon, Anthony was running in with her phone. "Mommy, your phone!"
"What did I tell you about answering it?" Bella gently scolded.
"I didn't." He held out the phone and I saw several texts from an unknown number.
Bella, this is Edward. Wanted you to have my number but forgot at your place.
Bella growled to herself. Alice had given him her number too.
Alice just called. Don't be mad at her, be mad at me. I'm the reason for all this in the first place.
Are you ignoring me?
Annoyed, she typed before thinking.
Not ignoring you, cooking dinner for our son.
How I feel about Alice betraying me is my choice. And you're right, you are the reason for it all. I will contact you when I'm ready, please respect that.
His last text was instantaneous. I'll wait to hear from you.
Bella set down the phone, and finished making dinner. Then she and Anthony ate together. Anthony's chatter soothed her, but it didn't stop her thoughts from running through all the possibilities in her head. One thing was for sure, she wasn't going to be sleeping well tonight.
"Pick your movie, Sweetie," Bella told her son after she'd loaded the dishwasher.
She wasn't surprised when he came in with Finding Nemo. He was obsessed with the daddy fish looking everywhere for his son. It didn't help Bella's mood.
She picked up her laptop and slid the thumb drive in, opening the folder she'd been keeping since she realized she was pregnant with Anthony. Bella had saved every communication from Edward. Originally, it had been some form of self-flagellation after her miscarriage, but once she'd realized she was having another child with him, it became ammo. If Edward ever tried to take Anthony from her, she had proof that he had been the one to cut all contact.
She knew Jenks was going to want to know about this, and she would need to be prepared for that.
Anthony was starting to doze off, so she scooped him up and put him to bed. With a bunch of kisses, she tucked him in and went back to the living room to clean up. Anthony was always building something and, in true boy fashion, he'd smash it to pieces afterwards, which meant it took a while to find all of the blocks before she could move onto straightening things up.
An hour, and a dozen cleaning wipes later, Bella was satisfied that the living room was clean and moved right into the kitchen. It was how she dealt with stress, when her life became chaotic, she cleaned.
With the stove cleaned, the fridge cleared out, and the cabinets reorganized, she found herself sitting on the floor with her head against the cabinet under the sink. Bella knew she had to get to bed, so she set the coffee maker and took a shower before bed.
Bella's alarm went off far too early for her, but it didn't stop her from getting up. Her routine was the same every morning. She did her makeup and hair, and made their lunches before Anthony woke up. His little backpack was fully packed when he came running down the hall.
"Morning, Mommy," he greeted her and she scooped him up in a hug.
"Morning, Anthony. What do you want for breakfast this morning?"
"Cheerios!"
Bella gave him his bowl of dry cereal and a glass of milk. He had taken after Edward without having ever met him in that respect. Bella didn't mind, because he was easy-going about his food for the most part. And the set of cups that looked like little disposable coffee cups were his favorite because he looked like Mommy with it.
Bella made a bagel and ate it quickly with her first cup of coffee. She got Anthony cleaned up and dressed before she herded him into her room so she could get dressed for work. They'd been doing this all his life and the dance was well rehearsed.
Bella rounded up her work bag and purse, Anthony's backpack, and her travel mug all on one arm and opened the front door with the other. Anthony stuck to her side while she locked up and held out his hand as soon as her keys were in her purse. They took the elevator down to the lobby and walked to her parking garage next door. Once Anthony was secured in his seat and their bags were arranged, she climbed in the front seat and drove to his daycare.
She was halfway there when a call came through the car's bluetooth. Bella looked at the screen and grumbled when she saw Jasper's name pop up. She pressed the button to accept the call.
"Hello, Jasper."
"Hey, Bella. I wanted to ask you about this afternoon. I know you and Alice aren't seeing eye to eye, so I didn't want to assume I was picking up Anthony."
Bella sighed, because Jasper really was trying to walk the line between his fiancée and best friend. "No, I'm gonna get him and bring him back to the office. It will get him in the habit since it's summer."
"For what it's worth, I told her you were right to be angry," Jasper said.
"Thanks, Jasper. Until I get everything figured out, I'm gonna pick him up myself and bring him to the office daycare." Another call started ringing through and Bella knew she needed to get off this one. "I've got another call coming through, but I'll call you later."
She switched calls and Jason's voice came through the speakers. "Good morning, Bella, how are we doing this morning?"
"I'm doing good, Anthony and I are almost at his school."
"I'm glad I caught you that early in your trip. When you're done dropping off the little man, can you stop by the court and pick up some paperwork from the clerk?"
"Will do. This afternoon I'll have to step out to get Anthony from school, so if anything needs to go back to the court, let me know."
"I'll keep that in mind." Jason paused a moment before he spoke again."Good morning, Anthony."
Anthony had learned not to jump in on calls unless someone spoke to him, so he always got excited when Jason called. Even if it was important business, he would take a moment to at least say hello. "Hi, JJ."
"I'll see you this afternoon after school. Have a good day, Ant."
"Bye, JJ!"
The call disconnected and Bella pulled into the parking lot of Anthony's school. She got him out and on the playground before waving over one of the ladies that worked in the office. "Lauren, how's everything?"
"I'm good, Bella, you?"
Bella sighed. "I've got a few things going on right now, so I'm the only one who's allowed to pick up Anthony for the time being."
Lauren looked shocked. "Is everything okay?"
"I hope so, but I'm being cautious for the time being, you know."
"I'll make a note of it in Anthony's file and tell whoever is in charge of afternoon pickup. Does your family know?"
"Jasper does. I'm going to send a message to Esme and Alice later this morning."
"Okay. We'll see you later."
Bella waved to Anthony and he waved back. After returning to her SUV, Bella drove to the courthouse and picked up the paperwork before she headed to the office.
Jason was already sitting at his desk when she walked in. They were usually two of the first ones in the office. She handed the files to him and he looked up to greet her.
"What's wrong, Bella?" Jason asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You look tired and stressed, and I haven't even handed you the file on my new case."
"It's personal," Bella answered.
"Personal enough to mean that Anthony will be in the office daycare? You know you can talk to me. If you need five minutes with JJ and not Jason Jenks Esquire, say the word."
Bella bit the inside of her cheek. "JJ, Anthony's father showed up on my doorstep after five years saying he wants to be a part of his life."
Jason sat up at that declaration. "He's been out of your life since the night Anthony was conceived, correct?"
"Yes, and for five years before that, since we lost our daughter. I went into early labor and she was stillborn. He walked out of my hospital room and my life, and with the exception of one drunken night, there was no communication at his request."
"We're calling Jane," Jason said.
"Do you think we should be moving on this so quickly?" Bella asked.
"He's related to Esme, correct?" Bella nodded her answer to the question. "That means he has money. We can speak with Jane and retain her services so he can't try to hire her, not that she would since she's a partner in this law firm. She'll give you options for how to approach this. Whether it is amicable, or not."
"If you think that's best."
"At the very least, we can get child support coming in now that he knows about his son. And you can get a custody agreement in writing."
"I didn't ask for this, Jason," Bella sobbed.
"No, you didn't. But we're going to figure out how to make this work for you. You have a lot of things on your side here and I'll be damned if you're going to lose that boy. Now, take a few minutes to get yourself settled and I'll make a phone call. We can meet with Jane together and once I know you're in a good place, I'll let you handle your business."
Bella blew out a long breath, trying to control her emotions. "You said there's a new case I needed to review and research for?"
Jason smiled at her. "Right there. I made some preliminary notes, but I need you to dig in."
"Of course, Boss."
"Then, let's get to work."