Chapter Summary: A somber little chappie, but the next one will be more cheery. Sev has a touch of the monthlies and finally snaps with Hermione.
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Chapter Eight - Moods
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The first thing that Harry became aware of when he woke the next morning was that Severus wasn't there. His instinct was to panic even though seconds later he recognised the sound of the shower coming from the bathroom and felt very stupid indeed. Even though Severus' location had been established however, Harry could not shake his feeling of unease, Severus hadn't woken him. Coupled with that was the way Severus had turned over and gone straight to sleep, leaving Harry to cuddle up to his back, not even knowing if he was still awake to feel the hand he had caressed his Kin's chest with.
It had been a hard day, Harry tried to reason with himself, and they could hardly expect anything to get any better. Harry sighed and lay where he was patiently waiting for Severus to reappear. Maybe he was making something out of nothing, it was still very early since they had gone straight to bed after supper, Severus had obviously woken and not wanted to disturb him, Harry thought. Harry decided that all he could do was wait for Severus to emerge from the bathroom with his towel wrapped round his waist and see if he could drag him back to bed for a while.
When Severus did eventually emerge from the bathroom however, he was fully dressed. He looked like he hadn't slept at all.
"Are you all right?" Harry asked with concern.
"Yes," Severus answered at least looking up at Harry but without the usual warmth.
"Do you want me to get you anything for breakfast? I was going to talk to Dobby," Harry asked.
"I'm not really hungry," Severus said making for the living room.
Harry got up out of bed and followed his Kin, Severus pulled the trunk over to the sofa and sat down. He then began to search through the contents.
Harry ordered something for breakfast then turned back to Severus who was still rummaging through the contents of the trunk.
"Everything there?" Harry asked.
Severus shrugged and slouched back on the sofa, "Everything I care about," he had a photo in a frame held in his hand.
Harry joined Severus on the sofa and sat up close, looking over to see what the photograph was of.
"That was how Alexian looked in Will's picture except that here he is moving," Harry commented.
"My brother Valarius," Severus confirmed.
"And the little boy beside him, the one with the dark hair, grinning at me, would be?"
"As if you don't know,"
"Aged eleven?" Harry asked.
"Yes, just before Hogwarts."
"Got any more in there?" Harry asked.
"A few, and in the trunk is where they are staying for now," Severus said firmly.
Dobby appeared and took one look at Severus, placed the tray down and left. Harry began to eat and tried to get Severus to eat something too.
"You'll need your strength to help you deal with Hermione," Harry tried to persuade.
"I'm not hungry," Severus persisted.
"At least a little bit, are you sure you are all right?"
"Yes," Severus replied wearily.
"Sure? Because I could help if you tell me."
"I'm fine, I am just not hungry," Severus insisted, almost snappily.
"And a bit tired, worn out by all we've had to deal with?"
"Something like that, yes."
*****
Hermione and Ron made their way down to the Potions classroom immediately after breakfast.
"I suppose you'll be happy now that you've frightened him away from taking meals with us altogether," Ron commented as they descended the stairs.
"I have not frightened him, it'll be Snape stopping him from coming," Hermione persisted.
"Whatever, just leave them alone," Ron insisted, "I will try to get Harry to go somewhere while you and Snape are busy."
"Best of luck," Hermione interrupted.
"I will suggest we go to Snape's quarters, I think he will agree to that and it's only down the corridor."
"Whatever you say," Hermione replied huffily.
*****
Harry and Severus entered the Potions classroom to find Ron and Hermione sat in their old seats from when they were at school. Harry couldn't help finding it amusing and wondered if they even knew what they had done. Coincidentally keeping up with tradition Harry paused by his old desk and Severus swooped straight to the front desk. There the flashback ended however, as Harry turned to Severus and felt like smiling at him as he stood there looking so stern. Hermione stood up as if remembering what she was supposed to be doing and walked to the front.
"You haven't developed a liking for potions since you've been away have you?" Ron asked Harry.
"No, think it would take more than a Kin Bond to make THAT happen," Harry replied.
"Fancy a coffee?" Ron asked as if he was conspiring to do something really wicked.
"So keen to get away?"
"You would be too if you had to live with Hermione when she's in this kind of mood."
"Do you think we should leave them alone then?" Harry asked looking with concern at Hermione and Severus.
"She's been unreasonable and I think she knows it, it should be all right, she's agreed to back off."
"Right, my place is the nearest," Harry suggested, he waved to Severus and made a hand signal to indicate they were going to the Snape quarters for a coffee.
Severus nodded to show he understood and Ron looked bemused by the communication.
Once they reached the Snape quarters Ron sat down on Severus' side of the sofa and Harry had to ignore how he felt about that and go about the business of ordering coffee from the kitchens.
It was Dobby who appeared again.
"Oh, no Headmaster Snape?" Dobby commented as he put the tray down. Harry could see that the little house elf was relieved not to find Severus there.
"Why did you rush off before?" Harry asked.
"Oh, Dobby doesn't like to stay long when Professor Snape is in one of those moods sir."
"What mood?"
"Harry Snape hasn't noticed? Headmaster Snape gets in funny moods and it is best for us house elves that we keep out of his way sir," Dobby replied.
Harry wasn't entirely pleased with Dobby for bringing the subject up in front of Ron but it did give him some idea about what had been going on since the previous evening and he had asked.
"Funny moods?" Ron contributed, "That's one word for it, Snape's moods are legendary."
Harry sighed, "Not here, this is his home."
"Sorry," Ron backed down, "Old habits."
"There seems to be rather a lot of old habits going round," Harry grumbled, hoping to get some ideas into Ron's head while he had him there without Hermione being able to interrupt. Harry busied himself with making Ron's coffee; he didn't want that much caffeine himself.
"Plus some really bizarre new ones, since when have you drunk hot milk?" Ron asked.
"Since I don't know," Harry replied, he couldn't really explain the truth.
"You understand that Hermione and I were just worried about you don't you?" Ron asked.
"Yes," Harry responded feeling as if for once a conversation was going well, "But there really is no need, I am perfectly happy, at least I would be if we could all be friends."
"You understand that that is asking a little too much? At least for now anyway."
"Just leave him alone then, he doesn't really expect anybody to fawn over him, he is very aware of how much you all dislike him, you don't have to keep going on about it."
"I know," Ron appeared to concede, "We will back off from now on."
"Just give him a chance," Harry pleaded, "Severus isn't a monster."
"Hmm, open to debate," Ron risked before remembering what he had wanted to show Harry, "Have you seen The Prophet today?"
"No, I haven't, do you have one with you?" Harry asked, at once curious to know how they had managed to twist his story.
Ron produced a copy of the paper from within his robes and handed it to Harry. Harry was immediately struck by the large front picture of himself standing next to Severus, with Severus looking happy and proud, well at least he looked that way to Harry. If he looked that way to anybody else Severus must have only flashed the look for the duration of time it took to take the picture before returning to his more composed self.
"I'm not sure I want to read it," Harry commented.
"It's not bad for them, more positive than Hermione anyway," Ron informed him.
"Can I keep this for later?" Harry asked, "I want to show Severus."
"Of course you can," Ron replied as Harry joined him on the sofa and they both began to sip their drinks.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything," Ron replied.
"Did Dumbledore make a potions mistake before he went?" Harry asked.
Ron thought for a moment, "Not that I know of, if he did it couldn't have resulted in an explosion or I would have heard about it. Why?"
"Dumbledore apologises to Severus for a mistake he made, he wrote it in the letter he left for him."
Ron shrugged his shoulders, "Hermione might know, she was helping when the hospital wing needed restocking, if he did it on his own then she won't know either."
"Great, I don't want to ask her, of all the things I expected if I came back I didn't expect her to be like this, I thought she would be the one who would understand," Harry said to Ron hoping that he could get his friend to at least be neutral.
"It's not just you, well a lot of it is, she's been a bit up a height about something since the attacks before Christmas, if it wasn't for Hermione focusing on you two she would be giving me a hard time."
"Well that's a bit unreasonable,"
"Yeah, I'm the one who gets cheated on and she has the bigger problem," Ron agreed, "Things were bad though Harry, when they came, it was bad,"
"So you all think that I should have been here?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, in a way, we do."
"Well if I had been here they would have sent even more Death Eaters and I wouldn't have been able to hold them back, I wasn't strong enough," Harry defended, "I've been training, it wasn't just a case of taking the Bond."
"Maybe you thought that everything would be the same as it was before?" Ron continued, "But it can't be the same,"
"No, I don't think that I thought things would be the same Ron, look at me, where we are. Maybe you lot have changed too."
"Er no, I don't think that WE have changed THAT much."
"But you understand that what is done is done?"
"Yeah, yeah, we'll leave Snape alone, you'd think that was all you cared about," Ron grumbled. "That's part of the problem, it seems to us that all you care about is being with Snape."
Harry smiled knowingly to himself; he certainly wasn't about to deny it.
Ron decided to ignore the grin on Harry's face, "So where were you anyway? You can't have been camping all through the winter surely?"
"We camped right up until Christmas Eve then we found somewhere to stay for the winter, I didn't want to mention that to The Prophet, we were in Scotland following an erratic travelling pattern, just keeping out of sight really."
"Well you did a very good job of disappearing," Ron commented.
Suddenly there was a very loud bang, which sounded more like a slamming door than a potion explosion, it came from down the corridor where the potions classroom was. Ron and Harry exchanged a look.
"I wonder what she's gone and said to him now?" Harry wondered as he helped Ron to stand.
"Depends what HE did to wind HER up," Ron replied, still falling instantly on the side of Hermione.
"Whatever," Harry said choosing not to argue so that they could find out what had happened as soon as they could.
Harry and Ron stepped out onto the corridor to find Hermione storming down it in tears. Hermione glowered at Harry and passed them.
"Hermione!" Harry called after her.
Hermione swung round still glowering, "What?" She snapped, obviously expecting a confrontation.
"Take Ron," Harry said trying to remain calm.
Hermione looked a bit offended not to be argued with but took Ron and the two left at a more sedate pace.
Harry hurried to the potions classroom and rushed in, swinging the door back so that it rattled on its hinges. Harry wasn't concerned for the door; it had been made for banging and had endured many such incidents when Severus had been Potions Master. The classroom was empty.
There was evidence of recent occupation however, and there was some indication of what had been going on but no clue as to who threw what. There was no sign of Severus but Harry had not seen him leave. He could have gone the other way but Harry didn't think that he would go up the main stairs and towards the rest of the castle when he could have headed for home. The other option was that Severus could have retreated into the office.
Harry approached the office door and opened it gently.
"I told you to get out!" The unmistakable voice of Severus barked. Harry jumped; he reacted instinctively to the sound that he remembered so well from his school years. He was glad that his Kin hadn't seen him react that way.
Harry tentatively opened the door a little further and as he was about to step round it and into the room a book hit the door with some force very close to his head.
"Sev!" Harry called to Severus before any more tree based missiles where thrown. He came into plain view and stood fully inside the office.
Severus' head was bent towards a book on the desk where he sat, Harry could tell that he was only pretending to read. He looked up at the use of his name and met Harry's eyes. Harry could see tiredness and sadness, a good deal of simmering anger too.
"What happened?" Harry asked.
"She happened," Severus replied.
"What did she say to upset you?" Harry asked, "Ron said that they were going to back off and leave us alone."
"Back off? I saw no evidence of it," Severus grumbled, "She has been saying everything possible to get me to snap."
"You've managed to ignore her so far,"
"Well now I have had enough, she says that she knows that you don't want to be with me,"
"She didn't get it from anything I have said," Harry supplied quickly; shocked that Severus could even consider that it had been true.
"Hmm, I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't trying to get rid of me, maybe even to kill me," Severus continued.
"You're getting paranoid,"
"I can't be too paranoid, paranoid keeps us safe and it isn't paranoia if it's true, I knew that Lucius was envious of my brother and I didn't see what could happen through envy until it was years too late. Lucius killed my first Kin, Harry."
"True," Harry had to concede, "And I killed Lucius. But what did Hermione say to make you start throwing things at her?"
Severus hands were resting on the desk and as Harry approached the desk Severus began staring at them, "Nothing of any note."
"It must have been something," Harry persisted. "To attempt to destroy a potions book."
"That one wasn't much good."
"You made it a set book for our sixth year."
"Exactly, it didn't do you much good did it?" Severus shook his head, "I tried to be civil, I asked her something about her pregnancy, I don't know what now, before I knew it she was reminding me of my inability to have children, taunting me, I couldn't take it."
Harry smiled grimly but with affection for Severus, "She doesn't know, she would speak as if to a normal man, she doesn't know what that kind of comment means to you."
"I know, but she doesn't even want her baby. I remember saying that she ought to look upon it as a blessing, which didn't go down too well. What would I know about it, she responds, apparently nothing according to Miss Granger, I am the last person anybody would consider a suitable parent," Severus said still staring at his hands, "At least I have shown myself to be the monster they all still assume I am, I hope now that they will be happy."
"I didn't know it was going to be like this, so different, so awful," Harry commented coming to stand next to Severus.
"It always was like this for me," Severus replied.
Harry reached a hand out to Severus head, ignoring the fact that his hair seemed to be more greasy than usual, even though it was still early in the day it was starting to droop. Harry knew that beneath all Severus' bluster and anger he was upset. He stroked his hand through Severus' hair, gently massaging his scalp, which Harry knew would be relaxing, and it usually succeeded in calming Severus when nothing else would.
"I do not want to be petted!" Severus suddenly snapped.
Harry removed his hand instantly feeling very hurt by Severus seemingly turning on him.
"I think we should go back to our quarters," Harry said, hoping that he sounded as dejected as he felt, he turned to go.
When Harry got back to the Snape quarters he slumped down onto the sofa and lit a fire in the hearth, he could hardly feel it warming him as he watched the flames.
A short while later Severus appeared carrying a large number of potions books and took them to his desk. There he began flicking through them, pulling scraps of paper, which Hermione had been using as bookmarks, out onto the desk, a scowl for each one. Harry presumed that they must be Severus' own books, which Hermione had stolen as far as he was concerned.
Harry ordered himself a hot drink and Dobby barely stayed long enough to place it on the hearth without spilling it, before he hastily disappeared again. Harry looked up at Severus who had buried his head in one of the books, still sat at his desk in the corner of the room, about as far from the fire as he could get. Harry didn't say anything to him hoping that a bit of time and space might help. Harry wished that he had something to do; the last thing he wanted to do was leave Severus. Then he remembered about something, Judith from Sgoil Dhubh Lodge had given him some wool and a pair of knitting needles before they had left at the end of March. The rucksack he had used for his journey still lay packed up against the wall by the front door and they would still be in there.
Harry sat himself back down on the sofa once he had found what he was looking for. He would have smiled if it hadn't been for the awful morning he had been having so far. He had persuaded Judith to let him have the baby wool, because it was thinner and easier to handle he had explained, Judith had readily agreed since she had finished with it and preferred to knit for slightly older children anyway. Harry also had a copy of the pattern that Judith had copied for him and he had in excess of nine months to get it right. Trying not to think about his situation at Hogwarts, Harry made the first loop and inserted the needle through it.
*****
After what seemed like many hours Severus looked up from his potions books and found Harry sitting on the sofa knitting. He wore such a look of intense concentration that Severus had to smile. Smiling was something he was finding very hard to do, even in the presence of his Kin. He knew he had been a git but now the hours were passing and although he still felt out of sorts he didn't want his situation with Harry to persist too long. He was being stupid and paranoid and he knew it. He knew also that he was upset about the whole baby issue and the last thing he should be doing was taking it out on Harry.
Severus sighed from his position at his desk, Harry didn't look up but continued to knit. Severus knew that he had really upset Harry; he didn't usually cut himself off like that. Severus shut the book that he had been pretending to read for the last hour and rested his elbow on the desk, his head lying in his upturned palm. He could see the colour of the wool Harry was trying to knit and the shape it was taking.
Harry didn't want to be with him, Severus knew, not the real Harry who had existed before the swords had their way. The real Harry had wanted to leave Hogwarts and never see him again, Severus remembered, he had had no right to change that, Harry's friends were right. Harry's friends thought that he had corrupted him and they were right, but they didn't know the half of it. Severus wondered what they would say if they could see their friend sitting on a sofa knitting a pair of baby booties with every expectation of being able to bear a child to fit them.
Severus remembered well enough what Harry had been like before, how inseparable he had been from his friends, he didn't have that anymore, he was stuck in a dungeon with a moody Kin who hadn't spoken to him all day. Even as he was thinking that Harry's friends were right and he should let Harry go, Severus knew that it was impossible to change what had happened, at the same time he was wanting to scoop Harry up in his arms and take him to bed and give him what the Kin Bond had made him want. Severus had told Albus that he wouldn't do it to him, but he had, the swords had made sure that he had.
There would be no letting go, even if Severus could separate himself from Harry, Harry would tear the world apart getting them back together again. If Severus died, Harry would kill himself, he would not let anybody stop him, this was the way of the Kin, they really were 'one', unable to exist without the other, a strong crimson Bond ensured it.
Severus sat back in his chair, he felt tired, strained and stiff with sitting for so long. He should go to bed, Severus thought as he attempted to stand, the old familiar ache making its presence known now that the potion, which had suppressed it, was negated.
*****
Harry looked up from his knitting and found that Severus was standing up from his chair at the desk at last. He waited expectantly for Severus to join him on the sofa, trying not to watch him. Severus crossed the room and went into the bedroom and Harry heard the door close behind him.
The sound of the door closing was just too much for Harry, the final straw; he felt his heart clench and the tears spring to his eyes. He couldn't bear to let a slab of wood stand between himself and his Kin. Harry put his knitting away and headed for the bedroom, Severus didn't turn around as he entered but continued to remove the top half of his robes.
Harry wanted to fling his arms around his Kin but he stood silently waiting by the bed waiting for Severus to give the slightest indication that he would accept it.
"Maybe you should have a bath," Harry suggested tentatively whilst wiping his face with his sleeve, wanting to be invited along too.
"I think I will," Severus replied, not harshly but not warmly either.
Severus got his things together and disappeared into the bathroom leaving Harry once more on his own. Harry went over to the bathroom door and pressed his head to the wood surface, listening to Severus' movements within.
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.TBC very soon
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Chapter Nine - Ice Cream - Summary: Love is better than ice cream, love is better than chocolate, but can anything be better than chocolate ice cream? Harry and Sev find out.
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Chapter Eight - Moods
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The first thing that Harry became aware of when he woke the next morning was that Severus wasn't there. His instinct was to panic even though seconds later he recognised the sound of the shower coming from the bathroom and felt very stupid indeed. Even though Severus' location had been established however, Harry could not shake his feeling of unease, Severus hadn't woken him. Coupled with that was the way Severus had turned over and gone straight to sleep, leaving Harry to cuddle up to his back, not even knowing if he was still awake to feel the hand he had caressed his Kin's chest with.
It had been a hard day, Harry tried to reason with himself, and they could hardly expect anything to get any better. Harry sighed and lay where he was patiently waiting for Severus to reappear. Maybe he was making something out of nothing, it was still very early since they had gone straight to bed after supper, Severus had obviously woken and not wanted to disturb him, Harry thought. Harry decided that all he could do was wait for Severus to emerge from the bathroom with his towel wrapped round his waist and see if he could drag him back to bed for a while.
When Severus did eventually emerge from the bathroom however, he was fully dressed. He looked like he hadn't slept at all.
"Are you all right?" Harry asked with concern.
"Yes," Severus answered at least looking up at Harry but without the usual warmth.
"Do you want me to get you anything for breakfast? I was going to talk to Dobby," Harry asked.
"I'm not really hungry," Severus said making for the living room.
Harry got up out of bed and followed his Kin, Severus pulled the trunk over to the sofa and sat down. He then began to search through the contents.
Harry ordered something for breakfast then turned back to Severus who was still rummaging through the contents of the trunk.
"Everything there?" Harry asked.
Severus shrugged and slouched back on the sofa, "Everything I care about," he had a photo in a frame held in his hand.
Harry joined Severus on the sofa and sat up close, looking over to see what the photograph was of.
"That was how Alexian looked in Will's picture except that here he is moving," Harry commented.
"My brother Valarius," Severus confirmed.
"And the little boy beside him, the one with the dark hair, grinning at me, would be?"
"As if you don't know,"
"Aged eleven?" Harry asked.
"Yes, just before Hogwarts."
"Got any more in there?" Harry asked.
"A few, and in the trunk is where they are staying for now," Severus said firmly.
Dobby appeared and took one look at Severus, placed the tray down and left. Harry began to eat and tried to get Severus to eat something too.
"You'll need your strength to help you deal with Hermione," Harry tried to persuade.
"I'm not hungry," Severus persisted.
"At least a little bit, are you sure you are all right?"
"Yes," Severus replied wearily.
"Sure? Because I could help if you tell me."
"I'm fine, I am just not hungry," Severus insisted, almost snappily.
"And a bit tired, worn out by all we've had to deal with?"
"Something like that, yes."
*****
Hermione and Ron made their way down to the Potions classroom immediately after breakfast.
"I suppose you'll be happy now that you've frightened him away from taking meals with us altogether," Ron commented as they descended the stairs.
"I have not frightened him, it'll be Snape stopping him from coming," Hermione persisted.
"Whatever, just leave them alone," Ron insisted, "I will try to get Harry to go somewhere while you and Snape are busy."
"Best of luck," Hermione interrupted.
"I will suggest we go to Snape's quarters, I think he will agree to that and it's only down the corridor."
"Whatever you say," Hermione replied huffily.
*****
Harry and Severus entered the Potions classroom to find Ron and Hermione sat in their old seats from when they were at school. Harry couldn't help finding it amusing and wondered if they even knew what they had done. Coincidentally keeping up with tradition Harry paused by his old desk and Severus swooped straight to the front desk. There the flashback ended however, as Harry turned to Severus and felt like smiling at him as he stood there looking so stern. Hermione stood up as if remembering what she was supposed to be doing and walked to the front.
"You haven't developed a liking for potions since you've been away have you?" Ron asked Harry.
"No, think it would take more than a Kin Bond to make THAT happen," Harry replied.
"Fancy a coffee?" Ron asked as if he was conspiring to do something really wicked.
"So keen to get away?"
"You would be too if you had to live with Hermione when she's in this kind of mood."
"Do you think we should leave them alone then?" Harry asked looking with concern at Hermione and Severus.
"She's been unreasonable and I think she knows it, it should be all right, she's agreed to back off."
"Right, my place is the nearest," Harry suggested, he waved to Severus and made a hand signal to indicate they were going to the Snape quarters for a coffee.
Severus nodded to show he understood and Ron looked bemused by the communication.
Once they reached the Snape quarters Ron sat down on Severus' side of the sofa and Harry had to ignore how he felt about that and go about the business of ordering coffee from the kitchens.
It was Dobby who appeared again.
"Oh, no Headmaster Snape?" Dobby commented as he put the tray down. Harry could see that the little house elf was relieved not to find Severus there.
"Why did you rush off before?" Harry asked.
"Oh, Dobby doesn't like to stay long when Professor Snape is in one of those moods sir."
"What mood?"
"Harry Snape hasn't noticed? Headmaster Snape gets in funny moods and it is best for us house elves that we keep out of his way sir," Dobby replied.
Harry wasn't entirely pleased with Dobby for bringing the subject up in front of Ron but it did give him some idea about what had been going on since the previous evening and he had asked.
"Funny moods?" Ron contributed, "That's one word for it, Snape's moods are legendary."
Harry sighed, "Not here, this is his home."
"Sorry," Ron backed down, "Old habits."
"There seems to be rather a lot of old habits going round," Harry grumbled, hoping to get some ideas into Ron's head while he had him there without Hermione being able to interrupt. Harry busied himself with making Ron's coffee; he didn't want that much caffeine himself.
"Plus some really bizarre new ones, since when have you drunk hot milk?" Ron asked.
"Since I don't know," Harry replied, he couldn't really explain the truth.
"You understand that Hermione and I were just worried about you don't you?" Ron asked.
"Yes," Harry responded feeling as if for once a conversation was going well, "But there really is no need, I am perfectly happy, at least I would be if we could all be friends."
"You understand that that is asking a little too much? At least for now anyway."
"Just leave him alone then, he doesn't really expect anybody to fawn over him, he is very aware of how much you all dislike him, you don't have to keep going on about it."
"I know," Ron appeared to concede, "We will back off from now on."
"Just give him a chance," Harry pleaded, "Severus isn't a monster."
"Hmm, open to debate," Ron risked before remembering what he had wanted to show Harry, "Have you seen The Prophet today?"
"No, I haven't, do you have one with you?" Harry asked, at once curious to know how they had managed to twist his story.
Ron produced a copy of the paper from within his robes and handed it to Harry. Harry was immediately struck by the large front picture of himself standing next to Severus, with Severus looking happy and proud, well at least he looked that way to Harry. If he looked that way to anybody else Severus must have only flashed the look for the duration of time it took to take the picture before returning to his more composed self.
"I'm not sure I want to read it," Harry commented.
"It's not bad for them, more positive than Hermione anyway," Ron informed him.
"Can I keep this for later?" Harry asked, "I want to show Severus."
"Of course you can," Ron replied as Harry joined him on the sofa and they both began to sip their drinks.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything," Ron replied.
"Did Dumbledore make a potions mistake before he went?" Harry asked.
Ron thought for a moment, "Not that I know of, if he did it couldn't have resulted in an explosion or I would have heard about it. Why?"
"Dumbledore apologises to Severus for a mistake he made, he wrote it in the letter he left for him."
Ron shrugged his shoulders, "Hermione might know, she was helping when the hospital wing needed restocking, if he did it on his own then she won't know either."
"Great, I don't want to ask her, of all the things I expected if I came back I didn't expect her to be like this, I thought she would be the one who would understand," Harry said to Ron hoping that he could get his friend to at least be neutral.
"It's not just you, well a lot of it is, she's been a bit up a height about something since the attacks before Christmas, if it wasn't for Hermione focusing on you two she would be giving me a hard time."
"Well that's a bit unreasonable,"
"Yeah, I'm the one who gets cheated on and she has the bigger problem," Ron agreed, "Things were bad though Harry, when they came, it was bad,"
"So you all think that I should have been here?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, in a way, we do."
"Well if I had been here they would have sent even more Death Eaters and I wouldn't have been able to hold them back, I wasn't strong enough," Harry defended, "I've been training, it wasn't just a case of taking the Bond."
"Maybe you thought that everything would be the same as it was before?" Ron continued, "But it can't be the same,"
"No, I don't think that I thought things would be the same Ron, look at me, where we are. Maybe you lot have changed too."
"Er no, I don't think that WE have changed THAT much."
"But you understand that what is done is done?"
"Yeah, yeah, we'll leave Snape alone, you'd think that was all you cared about," Ron grumbled. "That's part of the problem, it seems to us that all you care about is being with Snape."
Harry smiled knowingly to himself; he certainly wasn't about to deny it.
Ron decided to ignore the grin on Harry's face, "So where were you anyway? You can't have been camping all through the winter surely?"
"We camped right up until Christmas Eve then we found somewhere to stay for the winter, I didn't want to mention that to The Prophet, we were in Scotland following an erratic travelling pattern, just keeping out of sight really."
"Well you did a very good job of disappearing," Ron commented.
Suddenly there was a very loud bang, which sounded more like a slamming door than a potion explosion, it came from down the corridor where the potions classroom was. Ron and Harry exchanged a look.
"I wonder what she's gone and said to him now?" Harry wondered as he helped Ron to stand.
"Depends what HE did to wind HER up," Ron replied, still falling instantly on the side of Hermione.
"Whatever," Harry said choosing not to argue so that they could find out what had happened as soon as they could.
Harry and Ron stepped out onto the corridor to find Hermione storming down it in tears. Hermione glowered at Harry and passed them.
"Hermione!" Harry called after her.
Hermione swung round still glowering, "What?" She snapped, obviously expecting a confrontation.
"Take Ron," Harry said trying to remain calm.
Hermione looked a bit offended not to be argued with but took Ron and the two left at a more sedate pace.
Harry hurried to the potions classroom and rushed in, swinging the door back so that it rattled on its hinges. Harry wasn't concerned for the door; it had been made for banging and had endured many such incidents when Severus had been Potions Master. The classroom was empty.
There was evidence of recent occupation however, and there was some indication of what had been going on but no clue as to who threw what. There was no sign of Severus but Harry had not seen him leave. He could have gone the other way but Harry didn't think that he would go up the main stairs and towards the rest of the castle when he could have headed for home. The other option was that Severus could have retreated into the office.
Harry approached the office door and opened it gently.
"I told you to get out!" The unmistakable voice of Severus barked. Harry jumped; he reacted instinctively to the sound that he remembered so well from his school years. He was glad that his Kin hadn't seen him react that way.
Harry tentatively opened the door a little further and as he was about to step round it and into the room a book hit the door with some force very close to his head.
"Sev!" Harry called to Severus before any more tree based missiles where thrown. He came into plain view and stood fully inside the office.
Severus' head was bent towards a book on the desk where he sat, Harry could tell that he was only pretending to read. He looked up at the use of his name and met Harry's eyes. Harry could see tiredness and sadness, a good deal of simmering anger too.
"What happened?" Harry asked.
"She happened," Severus replied.
"What did she say to upset you?" Harry asked, "Ron said that they were going to back off and leave us alone."
"Back off? I saw no evidence of it," Severus grumbled, "She has been saying everything possible to get me to snap."
"You've managed to ignore her so far,"
"Well now I have had enough, she says that she knows that you don't want to be with me,"
"She didn't get it from anything I have said," Harry supplied quickly; shocked that Severus could even consider that it had been true.
"Hmm, I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't trying to get rid of me, maybe even to kill me," Severus continued.
"You're getting paranoid,"
"I can't be too paranoid, paranoid keeps us safe and it isn't paranoia if it's true, I knew that Lucius was envious of my brother and I didn't see what could happen through envy until it was years too late. Lucius killed my first Kin, Harry."
"True," Harry had to concede, "And I killed Lucius. But what did Hermione say to make you start throwing things at her?"
Severus hands were resting on the desk and as Harry approached the desk Severus began staring at them, "Nothing of any note."
"It must have been something," Harry persisted. "To attempt to destroy a potions book."
"That one wasn't much good."
"You made it a set book for our sixth year."
"Exactly, it didn't do you much good did it?" Severus shook his head, "I tried to be civil, I asked her something about her pregnancy, I don't know what now, before I knew it she was reminding me of my inability to have children, taunting me, I couldn't take it."
Harry smiled grimly but with affection for Severus, "She doesn't know, she would speak as if to a normal man, she doesn't know what that kind of comment means to you."
"I know, but she doesn't even want her baby. I remember saying that she ought to look upon it as a blessing, which didn't go down too well. What would I know about it, she responds, apparently nothing according to Miss Granger, I am the last person anybody would consider a suitable parent," Severus said still staring at his hands, "At least I have shown myself to be the monster they all still assume I am, I hope now that they will be happy."
"I didn't know it was going to be like this, so different, so awful," Harry commented coming to stand next to Severus.
"It always was like this for me," Severus replied.
Harry reached a hand out to Severus head, ignoring the fact that his hair seemed to be more greasy than usual, even though it was still early in the day it was starting to droop. Harry knew that beneath all Severus' bluster and anger he was upset. He stroked his hand through Severus' hair, gently massaging his scalp, which Harry knew would be relaxing, and it usually succeeded in calming Severus when nothing else would.
"I do not want to be petted!" Severus suddenly snapped.
Harry removed his hand instantly feeling very hurt by Severus seemingly turning on him.
"I think we should go back to our quarters," Harry said, hoping that he sounded as dejected as he felt, he turned to go.
When Harry got back to the Snape quarters he slumped down onto the sofa and lit a fire in the hearth, he could hardly feel it warming him as he watched the flames.
A short while later Severus appeared carrying a large number of potions books and took them to his desk. There he began flicking through them, pulling scraps of paper, which Hermione had been using as bookmarks, out onto the desk, a scowl for each one. Harry presumed that they must be Severus' own books, which Hermione had stolen as far as he was concerned.
Harry ordered himself a hot drink and Dobby barely stayed long enough to place it on the hearth without spilling it, before he hastily disappeared again. Harry looked up at Severus who had buried his head in one of the books, still sat at his desk in the corner of the room, about as far from the fire as he could get. Harry didn't say anything to him hoping that a bit of time and space might help. Harry wished that he had something to do; the last thing he wanted to do was leave Severus. Then he remembered about something, Judith from Sgoil Dhubh Lodge had given him some wool and a pair of knitting needles before they had left at the end of March. The rucksack he had used for his journey still lay packed up against the wall by the front door and they would still be in there.
Harry sat himself back down on the sofa once he had found what he was looking for. He would have smiled if it hadn't been for the awful morning he had been having so far. He had persuaded Judith to let him have the baby wool, because it was thinner and easier to handle he had explained, Judith had readily agreed since she had finished with it and preferred to knit for slightly older children anyway. Harry also had a copy of the pattern that Judith had copied for him and he had in excess of nine months to get it right. Trying not to think about his situation at Hogwarts, Harry made the first loop and inserted the needle through it.
*****
After what seemed like many hours Severus looked up from his potions books and found Harry sitting on the sofa knitting. He wore such a look of intense concentration that Severus had to smile. Smiling was something he was finding very hard to do, even in the presence of his Kin. He knew he had been a git but now the hours were passing and although he still felt out of sorts he didn't want his situation with Harry to persist too long. He was being stupid and paranoid and he knew it. He knew also that he was upset about the whole baby issue and the last thing he should be doing was taking it out on Harry.
Severus sighed from his position at his desk, Harry didn't look up but continued to knit. Severus knew that he had really upset Harry; he didn't usually cut himself off like that. Severus shut the book that he had been pretending to read for the last hour and rested his elbow on the desk, his head lying in his upturned palm. He could see the colour of the wool Harry was trying to knit and the shape it was taking.
Harry didn't want to be with him, Severus knew, not the real Harry who had existed before the swords had their way. The real Harry had wanted to leave Hogwarts and never see him again, Severus remembered, he had had no right to change that, Harry's friends were right. Harry's friends thought that he had corrupted him and they were right, but they didn't know the half of it. Severus wondered what they would say if they could see their friend sitting on a sofa knitting a pair of baby booties with every expectation of being able to bear a child to fit them.
Severus remembered well enough what Harry had been like before, how inseparable he had been from his friends, he didn't have that anymore, he was stuck in a dungeon with a moody Kin who hadn't spoken to him all day. Even as he was thinking that Harry's friends were right and he should let Harry go, Severus knew that it was impossible to change what had happened, at the same time he was wanting to scoop Harry up in his arms and take him to bed and give him what the Kin Bond had made him want. Severus had told Albus that he wouldn't do it to him, but he had, the swords had made sure that he had.
There would be no letting go, even if Severus could separate himself from Harry, Harry would tear the world apart getting them back together again. If Severus died, Harry would kill himself, he would not let anybody stop him, this was the way of the Kin, they really were 'one', unable to exist without the other, a strong crimson Bond ensured it.
Severus sat back in his chair, he felt tired, strained and stiff with sitting for so long. He should go to bed, Severus thought as he attempted to stand, the old familiar ache making its presence known now that the potion, which had suppressed it, was negated.
*****
Harry looked up from his knitting and found that Severus was standing up from his chair at the desk at last. He waited expectantly for Severus to join him on the sofa, trying not to watch him. Severus crossed the room and went into the bedroom and Harry heard the door close behind him.
The sound of the door closing was just too much for Harry, the final straw; he felt his heart clench and the tears spring to his eyes. He couldn't bear to let a slab of wood stand between himself and his Kin. Harry put his knitting away and headed for the bedroom, Severus didn't turn around as he entered but continued to remove the top half of his robes.
Harry wanted to fling his arms around his Kin but he stood silently waiting by the bed waiting for Severus to give the slightest indication that he would accept it.
"Maybe you should have a bath," Harry suggested tentatively whilst wiping his face with his sleeve, wanting to be invited along too.
"I think I will," Severus replied, not harshly but not warmly either.
Severus got his things together and disappeared into the bathroom leaving Harry once more on his own. Harry went over to the bathroom door and pressed his head to the wood surface, listening to Severus' movements within.
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.TBC very soon
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Chapter Nine - Ice Cream - Summary: Love is better than ice cream, love is better than chocolate, but can anything be better than chocolate ice cream? Harry and Sev find out.