-X769-
An exasperated sigh left his lips as he watched the dreary walls of his room yet again with no avid interest from the unchanging scenery of the dull tones. His messy waves of azure became more unkempt as he subtly knocked his head against the wall he was residing near , miserably entertained by the hollow sound that followed with the rhythm he followed as he tried to make time pass one way or another.
He didn't know how it happened , but from what he could see from the barred windows that were situated near the equally insipid structure he knew as his bed , somehow yet another day had passed. Sunrise to now sunset , another multitude of hours had passed yet again , in the confines of the dull walls that contained him.
It was truly astonishing to think how time could pass like this.
This day was even more tasteless than the last , as everything was more quiet than usual. Though he didn't know what to make of it , whether he liked it or not. There was no screaming or shouting , there was barely any movement or voices he could hear other than the occasional shuffling about whom he thought to be the stone faced ladies.
And who were the stone faced ladies might you ask? Well they didn't really have a face made of stone , but with how etched their unmoving expressions were when talking to him , he thought them no different to the lifeless stone walls he had spent countless hours staring at , well until something would happen so he could get some mental stimulation or really any distraction from the void staring back at him.
His eyes closed momentarily with expected fatigue , given the time of day it was becoming his body was becoming prepared for the orders it received to 'go to sleep' lest he wanted to have one of the stone faced ladies come in and give him a punishment for disobeying.
Well his body was getting ready but his mind was still well alert.
He never really understood why he'd get punished for staying up longer than he ought to , there wasn't anything for him to do in his room that could have been of issue or he could have caused trouble with , yet they were still insistent. And he had been given enough earfuls and strikes to the face to know it was not wise to question anymore the reasoning behind their orders , he just needed to do.
His fingers picked at the frail , dusty clothes that covered his body , tugging at the hem of his vest which covered his torso , tucked out of his trousers and watching the threads fray yet again from his incessant touching here and there , observing how little by little the clothing seems to come a bit more undone than the last.
He wanted to keep pulling the thread that had come loose , he wanted to see what more would unravel and give his mind something else to focus on , but he knew he shouldn't have lest he wanted one of the stone faced ladies to give him another beating for what they called his 'thankless behaviour'.
Another sigh left him as he tried to put an end to his restless movements and slumped onto the covers of the bed he was sitting on. Face down with his head dived into the moderately rigid mattress , he couldn't help but feel so overwhelmed with frustration as questions kept roaming about in his head , making his mind unable to fall victim to fatigue.
Turning himself around , he sprawled out aimlessly with his large , deep brown orbs staring at the darkness of the room from a different angle , not an etch of light coming through save for the pricking rays of moonlight and the illumination of the white dots in the sky coming through.
As his sight focused on near nothing , for what his visual stimulation lacked , his mind made up with the curiosity that seemed to know no end , despite it being something he was told was a thing of irritation and mischief. Curiosity that spurned questions in his mind day in and day out as he tried to make sense of the strange life he lived.
Questions such as the most apparent being , why was his life like this? Or more importantly , why was he the only one who seemed to have a life like this? A life where he would spend hours on end just within cold stone walls , the only thing when it would be different is when the stone-faced ladies would take him to get washed or the like , or when giving him food and a few other exceptions.
But a lot of the time it was all just empty , isolated , muted…
And strange.
Whilst the kids whom he had seen outside from his confines seemed to be living a much more colourful life. They seemed to be smiling , laughing , they looked so bright ,energised and happy...
Unlike him.
They also seemed like they had a lot more to do and so much they could have fun with.
He couldn't help but question…
Why was that?
Well if he had to be honest , it wasn't all so drab , he had been given what he knew to be a 'book' or two , to keep him company at some point , and he tried to read through it to the best of his ability , the nicely coloured pictures he had spent days on end skimming and looking at practically burned into his brain to suffice for what he couldn't understand on his own from the writing.
And whilst that was a form of entertainment of it's own , there were only so many times he could see the same pictures or try and make sense of the harder words until his efforts would fail or disinterest would come back to him.
He would have asked the stone faced ladies with some help in understanding the more difficult words , but given how annoyed they seemed to get with his tendencies and the look that was far from friendly always stuck on their faces , he believed it was probably best not to do such lest he made one of them angry.
But that in turn spurned another question in his ever inquisitive mind. The question being , why was that expression something he saw on practically every person he would come across?
Well that expression or something of a similar liking.
So much so that even in his memories , when he had come across other people , all he could remember was people just scowling at him , looking at him with vivid irritation or disgust. Like he was nothing but dirt. Well not just him actually , but a long , dark haired woman that he remembered who used to hold him so dearly and close.
That woman being his mother.
The woman who used to be near him almost every second of the day , the woman whom he remembered was so warm and gentle , the woman who used to talk to him with her soft and comforting voice…Why did she one day just…throw him away?
Not literally , but that's what it felt like.
Though she was just situated not too far away in the only other bedroom in the building , the amount of interaction they had between them had gone from being inseparable to now…something he couldn't understand.
The one who used to cherish him , could not even bear to look at him , the one who used to tenderly smile and laugh with him , he never saw anymore as all that came from her was either brutal screams , cries or hysteria.
And he couldn't help but wonder why?
And that wasn't even the beginning of the questions he had.
He wanted to know ; Why had she become like that? Why had she changed so greatly? How could someone that he had remembered to be so kind and loving , become like…that woman who lived across , wanting to be disconnected to the world and most importantly…To him.
That woman he came to know now was scarily aggressive , her screams could rock the foundations of the house at points , her shrieks so piercing they would break him from in the midst of slumber. Wanting to fight everyone and everything until one of the stone faced ladies would do something and she'd become suddenly quiet or until…
Those strange men came.
Now thinking about it...Was that the reason he wasn't allowed to stay awake in his room? And the reason why there was so much emphasis on making him go to sleep by a certain time?
Given the level of secrecy that he could feel from the matter , he believed it wasn't something he was meant to know , yet despite all of that...One night when he couldn't sleep , he had come to witness this group of men coming into the house from the sight of his barred windows. Men who were of all sorts , some of them he recognised from their frequent visits , some of them he never had seen before. Some of them disoriented whilst others energised and eager for something. A common thing they held was a lot of them smelt badly , offensive and sharp to his senses.
Their smells would permeate the house even through the door he was behind , and what was weirder was what would come after their arrival. Screams and cries , and then something else…Sounds he couldn't really put a name to , all he knew they first sounded foreign to his ears and they seemed rather shameful to hear too. It sounded wet and sticky , messy even. Painful too. And there would be rude words shouted alongside.
And that all continued until they all left.
Those men would stay with his mother for a varied amount of times , sometimes it seemed like hours on end and then sometimes they were gone as quick as they came. Regardless of how long they were there though , not long after the same result would always erupt not too long after.
His mother would be crying , crying until her voice would wear out or sometimes she would start crying and then somehow start laughing to herself.
Which would leave him wondering...
What were they doing to her?
And why?
Then in the following morning the stone faced ladies would either go straight into his mother's room and then clean up things , bottles and sheets and what not , or take his mother out of the confines she stayed in to get her washed and her clothing fixed whilst doing what else was needed to keep her in a proper state.
Those were the only times he truly saw or heard her leave the room. And each time she looked horrid , like she was a ghost of some sort. Lengthy dark hair trailing behind her with countless knots and tears , skin so unusually pale that he could swear it resembled the milk he would sometimes be given , the only colours on her were the unnatural bright ones which would be smeared against her face , running down and dripping down her skin and looked so out of place on her being.
Oh and some of those deep marks and bruises he would see littered over her body from the areas her scarcely hanging clothing wouldn't bother to cover.
Those were usually all sorts of striking colours.
And not to mention , from that weird thing that the both of them shared on the right side of their faces , which no one else seemed to possess other than the two of them.
It was really strange.
Generally any other time she would remain holed up like a rat , unwilling to see or be seen , spending the time when she would be alone either throwing things around or going on a rampage or breaking into bouts of wildness that only stopped when the stone faced ladies would hit her to stop or do something else he didn't know.
That was all really odd to him , but what was even stranger was the reasoning he had been told once he had asked when the curiosity got too much to bear as to why this all happened.
'Because of your father.'
And that would make even more questions erupt in his ever curious mind as the logic he had just couldn't encompass how that could be the only answer.
His father? A man he never saw or even knew of? He was the reason behind all of this? Because of those men visiting his mother every other night? He was the reason why there were stone faced ladies who watched over them day in and day out? He was the reason why their lives were so strange?
How could that be possible?
How could that be the only answer regarding their lives and the way they were?
But after incessant attempts to pry more about why his father was the reasoning behind all of this , the definite answer he would be faced with were these few words.
'He's a criminal.'
A criminal? One of the words he heard was always being used to describe him but he still wasn't sure what it actually meant. Other than the fact it must have been a bad thing due to how much disgust and anger would be used to say such to him.
And then his curiosity would make him ask then , why was he a criminal?
And that was a question no one would be willing to answer , the only response he would be met with is freshly sprouted scorn and black fire in their eyes , as if the very question itself set fire to their blood. And he knew very soon that question was something not to be asked.
Whether it would be an uncomfortably sharp look , a spat of hurtful words or something less forgiving like a brutal yank of his hair or stinging strike against his face , they were all accounts of reasoning he took not say such again and he knew he couldn't let his curiosity regarding that matter become anymore uncontrolled than it already was.
And all of that was only the behaviour from the unknown women and men he'd come across here and there.
His mother was of a similar case. Whom he expected to know of the criminal known as his father , or by another common name he was so tastefully given ,
'The Devil.'
The devil that everyone seemed to mention and deeply hate but he never really understood why.
But to his misfortune , any chance he had taken with the courage to go to his mother's room and meet her in confidence to ask about 'The Devil' , it would never end the way he wanted it to.
On the best occasion his questions would go simply unheard , as if they had never been spoken in the first place or the conversation had never been initiated. His mother would keep her back to him at all times and he would take from her silence that she wasn't willing to answer then.
But then there would be the other times…
Where he would get more than a flinch from his mother's being because of his questions. Where her passive and ignorant state would be replaced by something far more fearsome. With fury shaking her frail body , her voice being rough with anger , she'd begin screaming and howling for him stop asking such , throwing that which would be beside her , whether that be her sheets or something more concerning like the bottles left scattered around her room whilst saying incredibly harsh things enough to the point it made his burning curiosity obscured by the pain he'd be inflicted with.
What would happen at the end of those ordeals did not always have him hurting physically , but every time with no fault he'd feel something hurting him inside and weighing him down with the unfortunate conclusions.
Eventually he learned that asking about 'that man' was something considered wrong.
Very wrong.
He needed to be satisfied with the narrative that he was a criminal , that he was 'the devil' and ask for no explanation why , lest he wished to truly feel the wrath that brewed.
And whilst he did stop asking explicitly about his father , it didn't stop the brimming questions in his mind which plagued him day in day out. Regarding the devil , regarding his life , regarding everything.
He just wanted to ask and have his limited understanding contended , but now that was seeming more dangerous than desired and he didn't want to risk what could happen if he were to make another angry again.
Flipping over onto his stomach , the azure haired boy rested his head onto his crossed forearms as he lifted his head to look up at the approaching night as his eyes were captivated by the magnificence of the heavens. Allured by the shine and beauty they exuded as the changing warm tones of the sky had enveloped in a different kind of darkness that he came to know.
A huff left his lips as he wondered , when would he be able to truly see the other things that existed in the world and be able to view things away from barred windows? Be able to see the blanket of stars in all their greatness and journey adventures into the bright , refreshing outside and see and learn of new things which he could intrigue himself more with?
Would the day come when he would finally have company other than the walls he was kept in , or the stone faced ladies who would bring him food or watch over him with almost a never breaking focus?
Would the day come when he could one day join those kids that he saw playing out a few hours ago and finally meet someone different and hopefully nicer and kinder compared to what he was used to?
Would the day ever come when he would be able to speak with his mother and she wouldn't just ignore him nor erupt into an explosion , when she could finally answer him or look back at him without repulsion on her face?
Or better yet , when she would be able to smile at him again and show that warmth he dearly missed?
But most importantly , would the day ever come when he would learn who the devil truly was? When he'd have his questions answered? Whether he'd ever be able to meet the devil himself?
So he could learn about what the devil did.
And ask him why he made their lives the way they were.
Would a day like that ever come?
"Is that brat asleep yet?"
His ears pricked up from the sound of the gruff voice of one of the stone faced ladies , from what he could tell it was the more ill tempered one. Eyes immediately shutting in response to the footsteps he could hear shuffling in the direction of where his room was as he felt his heart beginning to beat rapidly.
No sooner after he heard that voice , he heard the rigid door creak from the slit being created , his ears ringing from the unusually loud creaking as he soon heard heavy footsteps follow through and the presence in his room increased.
Trying to steady his breathing as he heard the woman come close , he tried his best to appear as still as possible , mimicking his behaviour as if he were asleep as he could feel a penetrating gaze observing him for a few moments before being satisfied with what was seen as his room was exited with a careless slam.
Not too long after he let out a breath he had partially held in as he confirmed his act was enough to keep the woman from getting curious and using other methods to check the validity of his behaviour.
Turning on his side , Jellal knew he had to go to sleep and he could feel the desire to do so now his mind had been tired out with his routinely rambles and questions. A small yawn leaving his lips as he wanted to remain optimistic for the coming day and what it could bring.
Because maybe one day he would be able to join the other kids , maybe he'd finally be allowed to see more of the world that expanded beyond his sight and maybe,
He would finally find the answers regarding those questions he was forbidden to ask.
Author's Note:
Hi everyone! Just to make mention , this will be a side project as I write TBOS to completion whilst possibly giving more background as to why Jellal acts the way he does in that story since this is practically linked in the same timeline/story and it shows a great deal of how his behaviour and morals evolve through his experiences (both from my story perspective and how I wish to make him eventually fit his canon character too) and how he gets attached to certain ideals (to the point he becomes obsessed with them) in his canon character.
I hope you do enjoy the story I have in store for this as I have got a rather intense tale in the waiting and I can't wait to see it all unfold!
That will be all from me now , I hope to work on both pieces in due time , please do let me know how you think about this one!
Please do stay safe and thank you for taking the time to read this! ^_^