Maurice picked up the Pokéball in which he caught his newest addition to his team, just south of Violet City. It would make the first gym a lot easier. Cheap…perhaps? On the other hand, it is pragmatic and hence smart to catch a Pokémon that has a type advantage. "Welcome to the team, Marigold!" he said as he let the new catch out.
The fluffy little Mareep came out. With a way too wide smile on her face. "I love my new name. Because you are my master and you picked it. I love you because you are my master and anything you do."
"She is flooffy!" Jinx the Zubat said as she landed on the Mareep and plopped down on her woolly body.
"Don't you mind that Jinx is using you as a pillow now?" Maurice asked Marigold.
"I don't mind if you tell me to not mind." Marigold said.
Maurice blinked. "Ok then. Now that Marigold is officially on the team, let's get hunting for Berries…"
Marigold sped off with speed you normally don't see from a Mareep, before she returned in a second, a whole pile of Berries of all sorts in front of her for her master. "Berries for the master!"
"That was fast…wait, some of those Berries don't grow around here, where did you get those?" Maurice asked.
"Someone was nice enough to give up their Berries when I told them it was for the Master." Marigold said with a grin that was way too wide.
Silver picked up a package that was left at the PokéMart. "Luckily some of Dad's old contacts owe me a few favors, these Berries will give me an easier time early in the journey…"
Suddenly Marigold rushed in, bucked reeled back her hind legs and bucked Silver where it hurts. Then she took the package and rushed off again.
Silver was on the ground, curled up in a ball, nursing his 'future heirs'. "My apricorns…"
"Don't be silly, it would be generous to call those Cherri Berries." Jinx the Zubat said, having flown towards Silver just to make a joke about his masculinity, before leaving the scene.
"She's eager to get the job done…" Maurice noted.
"Us Mareep love being told what to do." Marigold said.
Maurice made a confused face, turned to his starter, Morrigan the Totodile. She just blinked, and shrugged at him. "Well, I won't complain at this much good berries. It allows us to stretch the medicine budget, some of these would make for an awesome pasta sauce and I can get some money of the Apricorns since I have no useless to me…"
"Apricorns are never useless!" the Apricorn guy said as he jumped out of some bushes.
"Gah!" Maurice jumped back as the guy invoking 'stranger, danger' had jumped out. "This loon again. Somebody get him away from me!"
"Ten-four!" Marigold said as she rushed at the guy, did the same she did to Silver, but harder…so hard she sent the fat insane man flying off Team Rocket style.
"My apricooooooooooooorns!" he said before he became a twinkle in the sky.
Maurice sighed. "Everyone I meet is either stupid or crazy!" he groaned in frustration.
"Yeah, not everyone can be sane like me." Jinx noted. "Isn't that right Mr. Roper?" Jinx said as she pulled out a bundle of rope with a pair of googly eyes stuck to it. "Mr. Roper says 'yes'."
"Where did that rope come from?" Maurice asked confused.
"When Papa Roper and Mama Roper loved each other very much, there was bondage…" Jinx started to explain.
"Never mind, I don't think I want to know anymore. Let us just go to Sprout Tower to train up before we get our first Badge." Maurice sighed.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Now, Sprout Tower was a lot like a gym. Which means the Sages scale their Pokémon according to their challengers. Because why would these elderly guys have devoted their lives to Pokémon and only have level 3 mons, am I right?
But since Maurice is a trainer without Badges, he and his team would only be fighting Bellsprouts. "Well, us curbstomping the same unevolved low level grass mon would get boring real quick, let's see if a montage would make this more epic." Maurice wondered.
Now we play some epic sounding Rocky-style music as we see Maurice's team go through the barrage of Bellsprouts. First it was Morrigan, non-reactive when a Bellsprout charged in, before she clamped it in her mouth and shook it around like a canine would do for its chew toy.
Marigold Tackle'd a Bellsprout in the wall. She then started to spark as the experience gained has allowed her to learn Thundershock.
Jinx used a plunger on a Bellsprout's face and pulled so hard, that when a sucking sound came followed by a pop. Jinx looked into the plunger, and pulled out some of the life energy and put it into her mouth. And despite it being life energy she munched on it like something more solid like popcorn. It was a weird way to use Leech Life;
Morrigan confronted another Bellsprout, whom launched its Vine Whip…which Morrigan caught in her hand, pulled the Bellsprout in and chowed down upon him.
Marigold used her newly learned Thundershock on a Bellsprout. Despite type disadvantage, due to Marigold's superior level and stats, the Bellsprout was knocked out and roasted black.
Jinx grabbed a Bellsprout, held him above an empty soda can and wringed him out like a wet rag. The life energy came out in a liquid form and was poured into the can. Jinx threw the Bellsprout aside, put a sticked with 'Leeched Life' on the soda can and drank out.
Several Bellsprouts found themselves in a salad bowl of all things. They looked up from the bowl to see Morrigan, holding a salad fork and a bottle of dressing and screamed in fear.
Marigold was jumping up an down on top of a Bellsprout happily. The Bellsprout was less happily moaning in pain.
Jinx had a Bellsprout in a spell circle and started chanting. Something spirit-like came out of the Bellsprout…which Jinx stabbed with a stick, swirled it around until it looked like cotton candy and started to eat the now suddenly fluffy and sugary life energy off the stick.
So in short, after a while, the tower was sweeped. "I didn't think the montage helped to make it epic, but it somehow made it more fun to watch still." Maurice noted. "Oh well, now all we have to do is defeat the Elder."
though they saw someone already had confronted the Elder. The Elder handed over the HM. ""You showed us what you've got and it's indeed good... Take this Technical Machine. However, you should care more about your Pokémon. The way you treat your Pokémon can be too harsh…Remember, Pokémon are not tools of war…"
"Don't tell me what to do, old man!" Silver said as he snatched the TM from the Elder. He turned around and saw Maurice. "You!" he then looked down at the Mareep that was by his side. "That's the Maurice that hit me in the balls and took my Berries!"
"Marigold, is this true?" Maurice asked.
"Yes Master." Marigold said, still smiling and not denying.
"Good girl!" Maurice noted.
"What? She assaulted me and she stole from me! I'm taking this to the police!" Silver noted.
"Listen Einstein, you are wanted for Pokémon theft and I doubt you got these Berries legitimately due to them being rare and uncommon in these parts. What do you think will happen if you go to the police?" Maurice asked with a smug grin.
Silver raised his finger and opened his mouth before closing them again and his eyes widen in realization. "Oh crud…how can this get worse?"
"One, the Gym Leader is also the Police Chief of this area and two…he's not the only one." Maurice said as he pointed behind him.
The Elder Li and the other sages undid their monk robes and showed police uniforms underneath. "We of the Sprout Tower are also police officers of the Violet-Cherrygrove-New Bark district!"
"You'll never take me alive…Ok, I do not want to die so if you catch me I prefer alive, but since I'll be able to escape without dying or arrest I'll take it!" Silver said as he jumped out the window. "Where is my Escape Roooooooooooope?" sounded from outside. Then a splash was heard.
"Luckily a lake surrounds the tower." Elder Li noted. "It must have broken his fall."
"He mentioned an Escape Rope he couldn't find…wonder what that was about?" Maurice noted.
"Me and Mr. Roper have no idea." Jinx said with an impish smile as she held the bundle of rope with googly eyes up.
"If it's not too much, I'd like to have that battle now." Maurice noted.
"My fellow sages can go after the redhead." Elder Li said as the other sages left the scene. "Now, let's test your fighting prowess against mine, shall we? Now, you don't have any badges yet, right?"
"Not at the moment." Maurice said.
Elder Li then gestured at the rafters. They were full of Hoothoot and Noctowls roosting, alongside some sleeping Gastly, Haunters and Gengars. One of the smaller and younger looking Hoothoots flew down. The Elder then gestured at a corner where several Victreebells, Weepinbells and Bellsprouts were and one of the little Bellsprouts pulled his legs from his flower pots and walked over. "Pick your team and lets begin."
"Morrigan, you sit this one out, ok? I know you can handle it, but you put in most of the work so far." Maurice said. The Totodile just blinked. Jinx and Marigold went onto the battlefield.
"Wing Punch!" Jinx shot forward and slapped the Bellsprout hard with her wing.
"Ouch! That wing attack hurts…" the Bellsprout said.
"No, it is my Wing Punch. I punched you with my wing." Jinx noted.
"You can't punch using wings! You strike with wings." The Bellsprout repeated. "You have no fingers to curl up in a fist so how can you punch?"
"Same way Gastly use the elemental Punches?" Jinx noted. Bellsprout wanted to say something but he gave up mid-way since he didn't know how those Pokémon used punch attacks either. "Wing Punch!" Jinx struck him with his wing again and knocked him out.
Marigold fired Thundershocks in the air, the Hoothoot flies around frantically to try and avoid the attacks. The Hoothoot manages to line up long enough to launch a Hypnosis…and as soon as Marigold started to look drowsy, Jinx flew in the way. "Oh, light eyes!" she said as she stared into the glowing eyes, without effect. "Hold still, so I can read this." She pulled out a book and some reading glasses and uses the Hypnosis' light as a nightlight.
"What…How can you throw off my Hypnosis? I know Zubats don't have Vital Spirit or Insomnia and I know that while they aren't visible to most people due to thick factial fur, Zubats actually do have eyes!" Hoothoot noted.
"Oh, that was Hypnosis? Good thing I didn't know that." Jinx noted.
"That's not how it works!" the Hoothoot noted until he was struck by a Thundershock form Marigold. "Clever girls!" he said as he fell down.
"Well done, you two!" Maurice said as he hugged his Pokémon.
"I'm happy I made you happy, Master!" Marigold said.
"And I'm happy that she's happy that you're happy that we are happy to have made you happy and…where was I going with this?" Jinx added.
"Well done. Your Pokémon are strong and you seem to care a great deal. I think you more than deserve this TM. More than the last guy did." Elder Li said as he handed the prize.
"Yeah, he was a stupidly annoying jerk." Maurice noted. "Stupid, annoying and jerk, are bad enough already on their own but that guy embodies all three. I hope your guys catch him soon. At least the guy cannot just walk into a gym to challenge it since they are also law enforcement."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Gutentag, I am Zilber." Silver said, whom was now wearing fake glasses and a mustache and spoke with a fake sounding German accent. Throwing himself of the tower may have hurt like the dickens but it had given him a head start to avoid the cops long enough to implement his 'brilliant disguise' to go inside the Violet gym without being recognized. "Und I am here to challenge ze Gym Leader."
"Falkner is confronting a challenger now, so if you want to go down the hall into the waiting room…" the clerk at the desk said.
"Dankeschön!" Zilber said.
"Wait a minute…" the clerk said as he looked at Silver, and the poster on the wall that says 'Wanted!' right under a picture of Silver without disguise. He looked sternly at Silver. Silver sweated heavily and was nervous. Then his face went to polite and smiling again as he said: "Impressive mustache!"
"Er…Ja! I am very proud of it." Zilber said, internally sighing with relief as he went down the hall.
"Otis, why are you here?" a higher ranked police officer said as he arrived at the desk to confront the clerk. "Didn't I tell you last week that as of Monday you are no longer allowed to come here?"
"Yeah, that's why I came back today, on Tuesday." Otis said with a big smile on his face.
"I meant you were fired, you dolt!" the officer said. "You are not allowed to work anymore."
"I get a vacation?" Otis asked.
"No! You just don't have a job anymore! Now out, and don't come back." He said as Otis scrambled to get away as fast as possible." The officer sighed. "At least he couldn't have done a lot of damage in the short amount of time he was here today."
At that point a familiar Officer Jenny came stumbling into the building. The one whom had investigated New Bark Town. "Good morning Jenny. How are you? You were away for New Bark Town a bit longer than expected."
"Well…there was a lot more to process then anticipated and there was a witness whom had some very interesting things to tell and show me…" the Jenny blushed and had a dreamy look on her face.
"About the events?" the officer asked.
"What? Oh yeah, totally about the events, the burglary. Sure…" the Jenny said. "I had a tiring trip so I'm going to sit down for a bit. I can barely stand." She said as she staggered off.
"Why is it whenever we send female agents to New bark Town they always come back bow-legged and flustered?" the officer wondered.
In New Bark Town Elm's wife was eating out the new Aide (a very sexy brainy brunette whom was hired after the last aide quit) as she suddenly sneezed. She ignored the feeling someone was talking about her, but discarded that thought progress in favor of continuing to pleasure the aide.
Elm was sound asleep on top of his notes, unaware about his wife banging another woman yet again. He still was not wearing his pants and boxers were on full display.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Back at the Violet Gym… "Nobody move, everyone back!" the insane Chikorita known as Nutmeg said, currently on her trainer's shoulder, holding a gun in her Vine Whip and aiming it at her trainer's head. "My trainer won fair and square, we have shed the blood of the avians in this gladiatorial fight and awakened the bloodlust and madness in the crowds…"
"This is not Ancient Rome!" an officer said, on the back of his Fearow, whom was charging a Hyper Beam. This branch of Police's equivalent of aiming their weapons at a convict, only it is fully evolved Johto Birds capable of learning Hyper Beams.
"…so we are going to leave with the emblem symbolizing the defeat of your weak warriors without problems!" Nutmeg said.
"Girl, I just wanted the badge, this whole setup wasn't needed and frankly you are scaring me!" Silver whispered to the Chikorita.
"No worries, avatar of chaos and patron of crime. I will make sure our quest continues. I can't do this without you." Nutmeg said softly and almost kind, but she was still frightening.
"Damnit, can't get a clean shot, we'll have to let her go with the kid and badge. Rather that then his brains being splattered across the floor." Another officer said.
"Me and my Trainer are backing up slowly…if anyone dares to follow, it will get messy." Nutmeg said with a wicked grin on her face.
Silver slowly backed away as the Police officers were forced to stand into place. Silver got far enough away eventually that they were out of sight and they could hide. "Oof, that was close. At least I got the badge. And man, good going with that bluff, Nutmeg!" Silver said as he took the gun. "Good show you did, luckily they didn't realize it was the empty gun the New Bark Town Girl used to frame me for…" he twirled it in his hands and the pistol fired, and he dropped it. "It was loaded? I didn't load it!"
"I did." Nutmeg said, completely deadpan.
"Why?" Silver asked.
"I wanted to make it convincing and in the hopes of spilling some blood." Nutmeg replied.
Silver wondered if he could turn himself in, as he was suddenly more scared of the Chikorita. But what would the grass starter do if she finds out he planned to get rid of her? He'd be dead. And he wouldn't be able to get another starter, his face as a criminal would have been wide spread. It means he was stuck with literal the worst starter he could have picked. "Mommy…" Silver whimpered.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
That incident had caused the other gym matches to be delayed until the day after. But Maurice would finally be able to challenge Falkner. The first gym battle of his journey. It was a special milestone, it was supposed to be epic, the underdog rookie trainer versus a skilled veteran whom despite being forced to scale his Pokémon against his foes would probably still give them a hard time to the point that…
"THUNDERSHOCK!"
The top of the tower-like gym (it looks like in the anime because the ones from Heartgold and Soulsilver is a safety hazard) was engulfed in an electric burst and was followed by lots of smoke.
When it cleared, a Spearow, a Hoothoot and a Pidgeotto were all unconscious on the ground, knocked out instantly. "I did good!" Marigold said with her usual happy smile. Morrigan just stood there blinking. Only she had a pair of shoes with rubber soles on her feet, which she kicked off her feet now the electric onslaught was done. Jinx meanwhile was on the ground, sparking. "Oh dear, I may have accidentally hit Jinx…" Marigold said, sounding worried.
"It seems that electrical surge did something. My head is clear, I can think logically, I think I regained my sanity." Jinx said, sounding more neutral rather then her usual, happy self. She blinked. "Well that is utterly boring. I'm discarding my sanity again." She started staring out in front of her for a few moments.
"Er…Jinx?" Maurice asked as he poked the bat Pokémon.
Jinx suddenly jerked up, shot into the air, pulled out a paint can and a brush and shouted: "I'm going to paint purple polkadots everywhere!"
"She's back to normal." Maurice said in relief.
"Well, here is your badge and TM, I guess." Falkner sighed.
"What's wrong?" Maurice asked.
"Oh, it's just every new trainer goes after me first, knowing that I'll have to use weak birds while Mareep and Geodude can be easily caught outside of Violet and sweep this. I just wished I was challenged later on in people's journeys more so I can really show what I can do. But I rarely can. Most people don't bother after the initial match to try and challenge me at full power and the only way my stronger pokemon get exercise is when I am on a police mission." Falkner said. "And I am by law, required as a gym leader, to scale my Pokémon according to the level of my challengers."
"Er…there, there?" Maurice awkwardly pats Falkner's back. "I'm not as good with people so I'm not sure if I get the comforting thing right?"
"It's ok." Falkner said.
"Would it be ok if I said I want to rechallenge you at full power later when I am the champion?" Maurice asked.
"If that happens." Falkner noted.
"When that happens. I don't want to brag, but I am not one for false humility either. I am pretty strong." Maurice noted.
"If that happens I'll buy dye my hair pink." Falkner noted.
"I'll keep you to that bet." Maurice noted.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"So, how was your day?" Maurice noted as he greeted Crystal at the Pokemon Center of Violet City.
"Got kicked out of the Trainer School. Not because I'm not a student but because apparently it is not okay to be mistaken for a substitute teacher when the other teacher was sick, send the boys on errands and have a private class with the girls about the history and benefits of harems as well as how a good harem girls satisfies her mistress." Crystal said as she took a long swig of her milkshake. "And they want to send me the therapy bills!"
"How graphic were the charts?" Maurice asked.
"Very." Crystal replied. "I'll never get a harem at this rate."
"Excuse me?" a voice asked quietly. They turned around to see a of school girl their age approaching them. "Hi, I am Robin. I was in your Harem class at the Pokémon school?" one of them, a cute little brunette asked
Crystal checked the cute brunette out. "Yeah?" she asked, absent-mindedly.
"Is it all right to ask if I continue the…harem lessons with you?" she asked as she licked her lips.
"Score!" Crystal said as she pumped her fist. "I mean, love to! In fact I am going to give you a lesson right away. Let us find a room where we can have our lesson in private. Maurice, don't wait up."
"I won't. Just don't go into details later." Maurice said as he took a sip of his drink.
"Sorry, no promises, I can't resist bragging. Now come along, cutie! Say, happen to have a Pokémon from the field egg group, cute little female?" Crystal asked.
"I have a Sentret?" Robin answered.
"Pepper, you're in luck!" Crystal noted.
"Score!" Pepper said as she pumped her fist just like her trainer.
"Unlike Maurice, I would love some details later." Jinx noted.
As Maurice and the school girl vanished to do some hormonal teenage stuff, Maurice sighed and muttered: "Well that happened."
Maurice got a ball-busting Mareep
And his first badge to boot.
"And of course…" Maurice said, sounding defeated as he heard the familiar tune.
Crystal got her harem started
And she and Pepper will have it good
"Actually took you long enough to reappear…" Maurice added.
Silver is on the run of the law
And Nutmeg's a psycho beast
But between this and all the other insanity
It won't be a boring journey at least.
"You got that right at least." Maurice noted.
But despite all of this going on
The Journey's only just begun
And don't forget that Maurice, Maurice, Mauriiiiiiiiiiiiice
Hates everyone!
"Why me?" Maurice asked.
Jinx turns to the readers. "I want to end the chapter with the following word…Knickers! That is all!"