Chapter Eighteen: The Devil Comes Here and Sighs
"I want so badly to believe that there is truth, that love is real." -Clark Gable
February slowly turned into March, and JJ was 33 weeks pregnant. Since she was having twins, the doctor said they could be coming by the end of the month or early April.
Tate had settled into school fairly well and had found several close friends, which Will was happy about. Will was enjoying his new job, being a detective for MPD.
Will came home from work to find JJ in the kitchen, talking on the phone. She'd hadn't been going out on cases at all, as the doctor had advised her not to fly, so she mostly worked from the office. Although JJ was quite annoyed about it, Will was secretly happy since it meant JJ was home every night at a decent hour.
"Yes, Annie, that sounds lovely," Will heard her say into the phone, and he froze. It couldn't be his mother. What would JJ be doing talking to his mother?
JJ hung up the phone and went back to looking over a file, but she still hadn't noticed Will.
"What did she want?" Will asked.
JJ looked up, slightly startled.
"I didn't realize you were home," she said, getting up and coming over to greet him with a kiss.
"JJ. What did she want?" he repeated.
"She was just calling to check in, although I'm not entirely sure how she got the number. She also knows about the babies," JJ informed him.
"Yeah, Tate accidentally told her".
Will walked over to the gun safe in the hall closet and set his gun down inside. As he was closing it, he heard JJ speak from behind him.
"She wants to have dinner with us".
Will almost laughed as he turned around. His mother, the woman he hadn't seen in over ten years, wanted to suddenly have dinner?
"Yeah, that's not happening," Will told JJ.
"Look, I know you don't exactly have the best relationship with her-" JJ said.
"No, you don't know, JJ," Will cut her off.
"She seemed genuine. Maybe she's changed," JJ reasoned.
"My mother isn't exactly the type of person that changes".
Will went to the fridge and started taking things out for dinner. JJ could have cooked, but most of her food wasn't exactly edible, so it was better for everyone if Will did it.
"I might have suggested she come to the team dinner," JJ mumbled.
The BAU tried to get together for dinner at least once a month. It was a casual affair, and everyone usually brought guests. Hotch would bring Jack, Morgan would bring whatever flavor of the month he was dating, and JJ would bring Will and Tate. This month though, Beck's family would be joining them, as they'd decided to fly out to visit.
Will whipped around and stared at JJ.
"Why the hell would you do that?" he asked.
"I figured it would be a good time. Lots of buffers in case you needed a break, and Beck will be there," JJ explained.
Will sighed, he knew JJ had been trying to help, but he had absolutely no interest in spending a Sunday night with his mother.
"I'm sorry, okay? I just thought that maybe this would be a good time for you guys to hash things out. And it'd be nice for our kids to have at least two grandparents".
Will knew she was right, and JJ typically had a pretty good sense of people's character. Maybe his mother actually was changing and wanted to make amends.
"Fine, she can come, but I make no promises," Will said.
"It'll be fine, you'll see. Now we just have to convince Beck," JJ said, kissing him.
Will groaned, he was so not looking forward to that conversation.
Will stood on the porch talking with Spencer and Emily, only half-listening to the conversation. The backyard was set up for dinner, with a long table and chairs in the center of the yard. Reid, Emily, Garcia, Morgan, and his date Tess, who he'd shockingly been dating for three months, had all arrived.
Hotch, Jack, and Rossi, as well as Will's mother, had yet to make an appearance. Beck was across the yard, talking with Morgan, while Amelia chatted with Garcia and JJ, and Tate entertained Asher and Ezra with a card game.
The kitchen was filled with food, as they typically did these dinners pot-luck style. Will and Amelia had also cooked plenty of food that morning, including beignets, which Beck spent the day trying to steal.
Clooney, Derek's dog, barked and ran toward the gate, signaling the arrival of another guest. Will watched as Rossi and his mother stepped through the gate, and he locked eyes with Beck across the yard.
"Look who I found," Rossi said as he reached down to pet Clooney.
"Hi, Mom," Will said, giving the woman a quick hug.
Beck also quickly hugged the woman. He'd had similar reservations as his brother about Annie coming to dinner, but he'd promised JJ and Amelia he'd give it a shot.
Tate carefully eyed the woman from her spot on the porch playing cards with the boys. Annie had dark brown hair, somewhere between Will's lighter brown and Beck's brown almost black hair. However, instead of her sons' blue eyes, she had green. Tate had seen pictures of Bill when he was younger, and knew Will was practically a carbon copy of him, so she'd expected Beck to look more like his mother.
She watched as Will introduced her to JJ, before she noticed Beck waving her and the boys over. Asher and Ezra raced towards their father, and Tate followed slowly behind them.
"Mom, this is Asher and Ezra. Boys, this is your grandmother," Beck said to them.
Last time Will and Beck had seen Annie, it'd be shortly before Asher was born, so she'd already met Amelia.
The boys greeted her before heading off to play with Clooney, while Amelia and JJ went back into the kitchen to start bringing food out.
"And this is Tate," Will said, placing his hands on her shoulders.
"Nice to meet you," Tate said.
"Likewise," Annie replied coldly.
Tate had been told before that she was a good judge of character. She'd always been rather observant, and years in foster care had taught her how to see through people's acts. Which was why she could tell Annie definitely did not like her being here.
Over the next half hour, Tate helped JJ and Amelia set up dinner, while Annie played with the boys for a while before talking with Rossi and Hotch. Annie seemed to dote on her real grandchildren, and everyone on the team found her pleasant.
JJ had also noticed Annie's behavior, and was pleased. Even Will and Beck seemed to be relaxing slightly, as she'd been nothing but polite since she arrived.
After dinner, Hotch, Garcia, Derek and Tess took off, leaving just the LaMontagne family, Rossi, Emily, and Spencer eating dessert.
Annie and Will had gone inside for a moment, and Tate got up from the table to bring trash into the kitchen. As she approached the porch door, she could hear the pair arguing.
"I don't wanna hear about this right now, Mom," she heard Will say.
"William, look at what you're doing with your life. You're having children with some woman you barely know, just happen to see occasionally every few weekends to shack up with her," Annie replied.
"Don't talk about JJ like that".
Sensing the argument was about to get much worse, Tate decided to head back to the table. That didn't stop her from hearing their voices, but it seemed everyone else at the table was too focused on their conversations to pay attention to what Will and Annie were saying. It also didn't help that Tate's seat was the closest one to the door.
"And then there's that girl," Annie said.
"Tate? What about her?" Will asked.
"Honestly, William, what do you think you're doing? You bring some strange girl into your home, and are just planning on raising her next to your children?"
"I think you should stop before you say something you regret, Mom," Will warned.
"I'm trying to make sure you don't regret your choices, William. That girl isn't your responsibility. She'd be better off in one of those homes they have, with the other orphans. It's completely ridiculous that you feel the need to raise someone else's child. Besides, you don't know how she's been brought up, she'll probably be a horrible influence on the boys. She's not worth it," Annie declared.
Tate froze at her words, her heart sinking. She knew what Annie was saying was true. Will had no responsibility to her, no reason he had to look after her. He could get rid of her at any moment, and probably should.
She glanced up, and it seemed the rest of the table had heard Annie's last statement, as Beck was clutching his glass so tightly his knuckles were white.
"I'm gonna go check on them," Beck said, standing up.
Tate knew he was just going to make sure they were quiet, but she didn't care. Annie would be saying those words anyways, whether or not she could hear.
As Beck started walking towards the porch steps, looking as angry as Tate had ever seen him, Annie came out onto the porch, followed by Will.
Will could tell by the silence at the table that everyone had heard their conversation. Tate had hung her head and was staring down at the table quietly, while everyone else was watching the LaMontagne brothers and their mother. Will knew Tate was crushed, and he was furious at his mother.
He'd planned on keeping quiet until she left, to avoid an even bigger blow-up, and then simply never inviting her back, but it seemed that was unavoidable now.
"I think you should leave," Beck told their mother.
"Beckett, dear, you're overreacting. I didn't say anything that wasn't true," Annie replied coolly.
"Beck's right, Mom, you should head out," Will said.
He could see the glare on Beck's face, and it was one he'd never seen before. It was worse than the time his mother had called him and their father a failure. The only time Beck truly ever got mad, got furious, was when someone hurt his family.
"William, calm down. Beckett's always been too sensitive is all," Annie argued.
"You know, it confuses me every single day of my life as to how Dad never left you first," Beck said to the woman. How his father put up with Annie for 15 years, he'll never know.
"You pretend like Bill was the greatest man who ever lived. But he was a spineless coward and an ignorant one at that".
Out of the corner of his eye, Will noticed Spencer, Emily, and Rossi trying to slowly sneak out of the yard to give the family privacy. Amelia was high on alert, ready to intervene, while JJ tried to distract Asher and Ezra. Tate just sat there, still staring down, but he knew she was listening.
"He was our father," Beck replied.
Will handed Annie her coat and purse, which she accepted, and he waited as she put it on.
"It's time you go, Mom, I mean it," Will told her.
"Fine," she said, tossing her head. "But Beckett, you oughta be careful of the man you call a father,".
Annie smirked slightly, and something about it made Will's blood run cold.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Beck asked.
Annie didn't reply, and went to walk away, but Beck shot forward and grabbed her wrist.
"Easy, Beck," Will warned, ever careful of his brother's temper.
Beck had never lost it, not once, his anger was always cool, calm, and collected. But this was the closest he'd ever seen him to losing it, to blowing a fuse.
"You're supposed to be the smart one. And yet you never noticed, did you?" Annie asked her son.
Tate's head shot up to look at them, a look of realization on her face, but Will was still confused, as was Beck.
"The dark curly hair, the deep blue eyes, the fact that you have four inches on your father and brother. You had the intelligence, the courage they lacked, the stubbornness, and yet you never thought to question where you got it from," Annie told Beck.
"Are you saying…" Beck trailed off, looking nauseous.
" I suppose I got bored with your father, had a little fun with a doctor I met on the Quarter one night. Bill never even had a clue, never even suspected you weren't his," Annie sneered.
The remaining members of the BAU, who hadn't quite made it out of the yard, paused for a moment before Emily and Rossi quickly exited through the gate. Spencer, however, made his way back over to JJ and the boys. Amelia had been slowly creeping closer to them, which was good, considering how pale Beck was.
"Get the hell out of my house. Now," Will told the woman, who no longer deserved to be called his mother.
Annie huffed slightly, but headed towards the driveway. Spencer quickly took the boys and led them away from JJ, towards the farthest corner of the yard to distract them from noticing the aftermath of Annie's confession.
"You alright?" Will asked his brother.
"That bitch," Beck said, kicking the trash can. A loud bang reverberated through the yard, and Tate flinched slightly.
Amelia put an arm around Beck's waist and quickly steered him inside. The boys didn't need to see their father's breakdown, and neither did Tate. Will was furious, but knew he had to contain his anger. Unlike his brother's, his typically wasn't very collected.
JJ tried to come up and console him, but he knew he had to check on Tate.
"Kiddo," he said, as he slowly walked towards the table.
Tate could hear the apology already forming on his lips, the assurances he'd say. But she didn't want to hear them right now, she didn't want to hear any lies. She quickly got up, shoving her chair out from the table, and darted past Will.
"Tate!" she heard Will call from behind her, but she didn't listen and simply ran up the stairs before locking herself in her room.
After Tate dashed inside, Will leaned on the porch railing and sighed. There were way too many things to deal with right now.
"Will," JJ said quietly, walking up to him.
"Stop, JJ. Just stop, okay? I don't wanna hear it right now," Will snapped.
"I know, I'm sorry".
"Are you? You knew what she was like, and yet you went ahead and invited her anyway. You guilted me and Beck into this, saying it'd be good for the kids. Does this look like it's good for the kids!?" he asked.
"I didn't think-" JJ said, but Will cut her off.
"This is what she does, alright? She ruins everything and then she walks away and leaves us to pick up the pieces".
Will was nearly yelling now, and he knew he shouldn't be, but he couldn't help it. He needed someone to blame for his pain, for his brother's, for Tate's, and with Annie gone, JJ was the only one left.
"I just wanted to help you fix things," JJ replied.
"Yeah, I know. That's the problem, JJ. You always wanna fix other people's problems, but you never try to fix your own".
"That's not fair," JJ argued.
"Isn't it? You hate talking to your mother, and yet you pushed me into this to try and fix my relationship with my mother. You wanted me to take Tate to therapy to address what you think is abandonment issues and distrust, and yet you didn't trust me not to leave you. You didn't trust me not to abandon you so much that you didn't tell your team about us for a year, and you didn't tell them you were pregnant until I basically forced you too".
JJ honestly felt like crying right then and there. She knew she'd messed up, she should have never pushed Will into this. She'd never seen him this angry, though. Only once or twice had she even seen him mad, but it was never at her. The most he'd ever been was annoyed with her, or frustrated, but he'd never been like this, never furious.
"I'm sorry, Will," she said, trying to reach for him, but he brushed her off.
"I need some space," he declared, heading out of the yard and towards his truck.
She assumed he was going to the shooting range. Whenever he needed to blow off steam, he typically went there.
JJ sank down onto the porch steps, and Spencer walked over, leaving the boys playing a game under the tree in the corner of the yard.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly.
JJ shook her head, tears forming.
"I don't think any of us are okay, Spence".
Tate was lying on her bed, curled up in a ball on her side. She'd basically spent the last 20 minutes crying while Will bit JJ's head off. Meanwhile, Beck and Amelia were in the guest room next to her, and it took Amelia the entirety of Will and JJ's argument to calm Beck down. Tate heard the distinct slam of a car door, and knew Will had left.
Tonight was supposed to be a happy family dinner, but of course it'd been ruined. Oh well, at least it was on track with the rest of Tate's life. She'd rarely felt claustrophobic in her life, but right now she felt like the walls were closing in on her.
Beck and Amelia were next door, JJ was downstairs, and Will would come back eventually. The house was filled to the brim with pain and anger, and no one knew how to deal with it. For the first time since she'd moved in with Will, no one had come running after her when she was upset, and it felt strange. Lonely, she realized. It was lonely.
But it's not like she could talk to anyone about it. Will was gone, and JJ was in tears. Beck, who was usually the backup to Will and JJ when Tate needed someone, was still angry and confused, and Amelia was busy trying to help him. Spencer was busy comforting JJ, and Tate wasn't about to call anyone else on the team. She wasn't really close with anyone else on the BAU, and besides, she didn't want anyone profiling her tonight. Grant was studying abroad in London during his spring semester, and Tate didn't want to wake him, since it was the middle of the night there.
After a few minutes, Tate suddenly realized someone she could talk to. Pulling out her phone, she quickly searched for the contact she was looking for.
"Hey, can you uh, can you meet me somewhere?" she asked, as she quietly crept down the stairs and slipped out the front door.
Tate sat on a bench in the small park that overlooked the Potomac. It was a nice night, the moon was full and it wasn't too cold. The park was empty, which wasn't surprising given it was almost 10 o'clock at night. She heard footsteps approaching, and turned toward the sound.
"Hey," Carter said, sitting down beside her.
"Hey," she replied quietly.
Carter didn't say anything for a moment, before nudging her with her shoulder.
"So you wanna tell me why you had me meet you in a park in the middle of the night?" he asked.
"I just needed to get out of the house, I guess," Tate said.
She knew Carter deserved a better explanation, but she didn't have one.
"Ok," he responded after a moment. "Can I ask why you didn't call Lucy or Ellie?"
"Ellie's visiting her grandparents and Lucy would ask too many questions," Tate explained.
"And I'm not?".
"Fine. Lucy would ask too many questions about things I don't want to talk about".
"You wanna sit here or take a walk?" Carter asked.
Tate thought about it for a moment. "Walk, I guess,".
They walked along the edge of the park, just along the river, in silence for a few minutes.
"So how long do we have?" Carter spoke suddenly.
"What?" Tate asked.
"Well, I didn't exactly ask permission to leave the house and I'm assuming you didn't either, but my parents go to sleep at like 9 o'clock so no one will notice I'm gone," Carter informed her.
Tate glanced at the time on her phone and did the math. "We have an hour and five minutes".
"That's specific," Carter replied.
"Yeah well, Will's gonna be at the range until whoever's on duty kicks him out, which they'll do after an hour. He's just getting there now, and it's 10:10, and it'll take him 20 minutes to get home, so he'll be back at 11:30. It takes me 15 minutes to walk home and it's 10:10 right now. So an hour and five minutes,".
Tate knew JJ and Spencer wouldn't come check on her, as JJ wouldn't have the energy or want to deal with her, and Spencer was comforting JJ. Beck was too busy freaking out, and Amelia was trying to help him calm down. The boys would simply be put to bed and told not to bother Tate, which meant no one would check on her until Will got home.
"You're secretly some sort of genius aren't you?" Carter joked.
"I have an IQ of 175," she told him. She liked her friends, but she'd never actually told any of them the truth about her life.
"Damn, you've been holding out on us. All this time I could've been getting help on my math homework".
Tate laughed just a little and Carter grinned.
"See, not all my jokes are bad".
"Most of them are," Tate quipped.
"Like yours are any better," Carter said, shoving her playfully.
"You want to know why I didn't wanna be at home, don't you?" Tate asked, and Carter paused for a moment.
"Well, I can't exactly help you if I don't know why you need help," he reasoned.
Tate hadn't even told anyone she was in foster care. She knew it would have to come out eventually, but she just wanted to be normal for once.
"Will isn't exactly my dad, he fosters me," she began.
"Ok," Carter said, taking it in stride.
"His mom, who he hasn't seen in like a decade or something, came over tonight. And she said some shit about me," Tate said, quoting to Carter part of Annie's conversation with Will.
"Damn, that's pretty…"
"Bitchy of her?" Tate finished for him. "Yeah,".
"But something else happened, right? Otherwise, Will would be checking on you," Carter questioned.
"Annie, his mom, basically revealed that Beck was the product of some affair she had. So he's busy having an existential crisis. Will blamed JJ for pressuring him into inviting his mother and then stormed off, so JJ started crying, and Spencer and Amelia were left to pick up the pieces".
Carter exhaled sharply. "Yeah, I guess I would've gotten far away from that too,".
"Yeah," Tate sighed.
"Do you believe what she said?" Carter asked.
"Who, Annie?".
Carter nodded quietly, and Tate paused, not knowing how to respond.
"It's what everyone else thinks," she finally said.
"Will doesn't seem to, and neither does Beck or Amelia," Carter argued.
"Beck did at first, and so did Amelia. I think JJ still might. Who can blame them? It's what most of the world thinks".
"What happened to your parents?" Carter asked.
"Car accident, about seven years ago," was all Tate could say.
"And you don't have any siblings?".
"My brother was killed a few months back," Tate murmured.
"I'm sorry," Carter said, and Tate nodded in response.
Looking down at her phone, Tate realized it was almost 11:10.
"I better get going," she said.
"Alright,".
As Tate walked away, Carter spoke up and said one last thing.
"She was wrong, you know. Annie. You're worth it. Maybe not to her, but to a lot of other people you are".
"Thanks, Carter," Tate said.
"Anytime," he said before heading off in the opposite direction as Tate.
Tate had been back in her room, reading a book on her bed, for about five minutes before Beck walked in.
"Hey, squirt,".
"I was expecting Will," she joked.
"Yeah, well, he's busy apologizing to JJ,".
Tate winced slightly. "How's that going for him?".
"They'll be fine," Beck said. "She knows he didn't mean it,".
"Are you okay?" Tate asked him.
Beck gave a faint smile as he sat on the edge of her bed.
"I'm pretty sure I'm the one that's supposed to be asking you that".
"I don't really care what she thinks," Tate said honestly.
Her talk with Carter had done her a lot of good. She didn't need to worry about Annie, Will didn't agree with her and that was all that mattered.
"Good. That's good. We'd all be better off if we didn't care," Beck replied.
"You didn't answer my question".
"Nothing gets past you, does it?" Beck quipped before pausing for a moment.
"I'm coping," he said finally.
"It doesn't matter, you know," Tate informed him.
"It feels like it does".
"Bill loved you, and so does Will. In the end, that's all that matters,".
"Maybe we both need to take some of that advice to heart," Beck said, raising an eyebrow at Tate.
Tate shrugged her shoulders slightly. She knew he was right, but in her defense, the circumstances were different. Will hadn't raised her since day one, hadn't been her father like Bill had to Beck.
"I just can't help thinking that he would've felt differently if he'd known," Beck murmured, and Tate knew he was talking about Bill.
"I think he did," Tate whispered, after a moment of hesitation.
Beck jerked slightly in surprise and looked Tate straight in the eye.
"What makes you say that?" he asked.
"We were visiting Harlan, and Will went to the bathroom for a minute. Once he was gone, Harlan asked me if Annie and Bill were gonna stay together, even though she lied about the baby," Tate explained.
"I just thought he was confused, like always," she continued.
She sat there for a moment, looking at Beck, watching what she'd said to him sink in. He seemed relieved. She supposed she would be too. It hadn't mattered to Bill that Beck was biologically his, because he was his son, and he loved him. At the end of the day, that was all that mattered to the man.
"You should get to sleep soon, squirt," Beck said, standing up.
Tate nodded and watched as Beck headed towards the door. As he was slowly closing it behind him, he paused.
"You know we love you, right?" Beck asked, a serious look on his face.
"Yeah, most of the time. It's hard, I guess, to believe it all the time," she tried to explain, but Beck nodded, and she knew somehow, he understood.
She really did believe they loved her, but when something happened, like what Annie did, it made her doubt that. But Beck got it now, what it was like to doubt whether or not the people you weren't related to genuinely loved you.
"I love you too," Tate said, and Beck grinned. Tate had never said that to him, not once. She rarely said it to Will. He assumed it was just her way of protecting herself.
"Good. Get some sleep, squirt," he said, flicking off the lights.
"I do think that families are the most beautiful things in all the world." -Louise May Alcott