AN: Hi all, it's me again, cleaning out my documents and editing drafts that seem worthwhile. This story is probably a shorter one, and it's very much in progress since it needs serious editing. I can commit to weekly updates for now. Please review and let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!
"Declan, please bring me yours and Rowan's shoes, your daddy will be here to pick us all up soon." I call out to my excited four year old son and his dark brown eyes sparkle as he scampers upstairs to the bedrooms to gather shoes for him and his brother.
My two year old son Rowan peeks at me from over the back of the living room couch, his hazel eyes bright and mischievous, "You'd better have pants on." I say and he giggles before disappearing behind the couch again.
I finish putting my two month old daughter Jewel in her carrier and smooth her fine brown hair away from her green eyes, "I hope you're ready to meet your daddy today." I say with tears in my eyes and she blinks sleepily at me.
This life isn't what I expected when I transferred to Dauntless six years ago, and even though we were separated for a full year I am still adjusting to my recently finalized divorce. Tobias Eaton, better known in the faction as Four, was my instructor when I was a terrified eighteen year old leaving my home faction of Abnegation. We had a natural pull towards each other, both being transfers to Dauntless that were raised in Abnegation, and both hiding the divergence that threatened our very being. He had finally joined the leadership team right after my initiation class wrapped up, and after I had finished in a respectable fifth place and joined my good friend Tori in the tattoo studio. Tobias and I fell in love, got married and had Declan, then Rowan and things seemed great, until one evening I came home to a somber looking Tobias telling me that it was all too much, and that he didn't want to be someone's wife or father. He left me that night and never came back.
Three weeks after that terrible conversation I'd found out I was pregnant with our third child during a routine checkup in the infirmary. I reached out to Tobias to let him know, and he had painfully denied the baby was his. We had married young, and though none of our children were exactly planned, he had never callously accused me of having an affair.
We had been raised in a faction that eschewed most serums so I had refused the pregnancy prevention serum while married to honor my husbands request that we respect the beliefs from our upbringing. I thought our marriage would be forever, and that we would raise however many children that we decided we wanted. I was young and foolish, and although I would never regret my beautiful babies I do wish I hadn't have been too timid to have a mature conversation about family planning with my then husband.
I hadn't expected for him to just abandon us, and he never gave me any type of explanation as to why he suddenly didn't love or want us anymore. He just moved out of our home and filed for divorce, and then he seemed to volunteer for any mission that kept him away from the faction and from us. Once he had gotten the crazy suspicion in his head that the child I was pregnant with wasn't his, he had also began to deny our two sons, and he had completely pulled away from us. Our youngest son Rowan was barely a year old when his father began denying him, but our oldest was three years old when his father suddenly disappeared and he was understandably upset and acted out. I had gotten Declan into therapy, and it seemed to help him deal with the hurt his father had caused, but my heart still broke for him.
After a paternity test proved that all of our children were his, I had immediately petitioned him for child support for his children, and to also keep the large leadership apartment we'd been living in for our children's whole life. Our head leader Max had no issue with allowing us to stay in a leadership apartment as long as Tobias would permanently stay in the normal apartment he had been moved to, and surprisingly he agreed to give up the leadership apartment so that the kids and I didn't have to move. Tobias gave me full custody, and he agreed to all of the child support I requested. We would finally start to split the cost of daycare and all other expenses for our children.
He still avoided any contact with his children, but suddenly when Jewel was two months old he had asked to spend a day with the kids. We had agreed to start today by him going with us to the park, since he had spent months away from both of his sons and had never met his daughter we were both trying to ease them into this new arrangement. It's not what I imagined, but for the sake of our children I took what he was willing to give. My hope was that this day visit would turn into more for him, but what I wouldn't tolerate was him dropping in and out of their lives. Declan was already in therapy for his sudden abandonment almost a year ago, and I refused to let him hurt his children anymore.
The ringing of the doorbell sends Declan running to answer it, and I work on getting Rowan's jacket on before hoisting Jewel's carrier up to my arm.
"You not my daddy." I hear my son say from the foyer and I move towards the door, "Hi Ewic," Declan says to our visitor.
Eric Coulter, who surprisingly has become one of my best friends is standing in my doorway in his tactical uniform with a stern expression, but he softens when he sees Declan.
"Hey buddy." Eric says and he ruffles Declan's hair. Rowan barrels to him and wraps his arms around Eric's legs, with Declan joining him as Eric walks them through the apartment like a monster, something he does with the boys almost every time he's over.
"Oh, hi Eric, sorry we were expecting Four, he's supposed to go to the park with us today." I say and he looks surprised.
"Is it okay if I stay?" He asks and I nod my head in affirmation.
"Were you out in the field?" I ask, eyeing his uniform and he doesn't say a word, just nods his head once and continues to play with the boys.
Eric and I had become friendly when I began working in the tattoo parlor after my initiation ended, and extremely close once Tobias and I separated. Even though he and Tobias worked together as leaders, the two were never friends, and Tobias's dislike of Eric also kept me from him at first. However, Eric would often visit me for his tattoos and I realized that he wasn't the asshole my then husband made him out to be. It was Eric, my best friend Christina and her husband Will who were there to help me pick up the pieces when my husband not only decided he didn't love me anymore, but denied the baby I was carrying was his, along with the sons who looked so much like him.
Before my separation, Eric and I would talk often at the tattoo shop, and share an occasional lunch if we happened to be in the cafeteria at the same time, however after my separation and his own long term relationship ended immediately after, he started spending a lot more time with the kids and me. It started as him just either bringing us dinner, or stopping by to share a homemade meal with us a couple nights a week, and he would spend time playing with the boys. Eric and I were both lonely, missing our former partners, so it was nice to have each other's company. Eventually it had evolved to him spending weekends with us too, hanging out with us at the park, or taking the boys on day trips out of the faction. The boys loved having him around, and surprisingly Eric seemed to enjoy playing with them.
While my ex husband blamed his leadership responsibilities on why he had no time or effort for his children once paternity was proven, Eric balanced his own leadership responsibilities without missing any time with us. I knew Tobias chose to stay away, and he told anyone who would listen that it was because Eric was actually the father of his children, even though in his heart he had to know I would never break out marriage vows. It was incredibly embarrassing, but I kept my head held high and refused to let Tobias's anger and rumors keep me from a person who had proven repeatedly to be a great friend to me and my children.
Tobias could start any rumor he wanted, but I knew the truth. I was a divorced, pregnant single mother of soon to be three children, I was not the type of woman a man like Eric would want to be with. We were only friends, and I didn't care about peoples whispers. The kids and I enjoyed his friendship.
"He should actually be here any minute, just a warning since I know you two aren't known to behave outside of work." I smirk at him but he doesn't smile at all, "Eric?"
The doorbell ringing again interrupts us and Declan tears towards it again, "You not my daddy either, hi Auntie Cwis."
"Hey sweet-pea. I just found out your dad couldn't make it today, and Tanner really wanted to see if you, Rowan and Jewel could come to the park with us instead. Can you grab jackets for you and your brother?" Christina asks and Declan cheers as he runs to the closet to grab the coats.
"Wait, no, he's just running late..." I interrupt but Eric's hand on my arm stops me.
"Let them go, Tris." He says quietly.
My stomach drops, "What's going on?"
"After the kids leave." His eyes are soft when they meet mine. I steel myself as I kiss Jewel's cheeks before handing her over to Christina, along with her diaper bag. Both of the boys run to hug Eric goodbye, before running to hug me. They go to Christina and Rowan grabs her free hand.
"Declan, hold your brothers hand and stay with Auntie Chris." I say and he grabs Rowan's free hand in his.
"I've got them honey, I promise you, Will's just down the hall with Tanner." She says and I nod my head. Once they leave the apartment, I turn to Eric.
"What happened?" I ask.
"He's gone, Tris." He says and I shake my head.
"What do you mean gone, where did he go?" I ask, "He's the one who asked for this visitation, why would he miss it?"
"He was killed while on an unauthorized leave from the faction. His body was found by some of our guards in the factionless sector early this morning, Tris." He says softly.
"Oh God." My legs crumble and I slide to the floor. Eric moves to the floor next to me and I wrap my arms around him, "Oh my God. Our children. The boys, especially Declan, oh my God Eric. He hadn't seen Declan or Rowan in almost a year. He's never spent any time with his daughter. What do I tell them? He was finally supposed to be here today, Eric."
"We will help with whatever you need," I can feel him wrap his arms around me and I sob against him.
"Why was he out there...?" I choke out.
"It's more than I can explain right now." He replies and I bring my teary eyes up to his, "There's a lot you don't know, and I've not been allowed to talk about any of it, but we can go to Max and get answers when you're ready."
Eric sits with me while I cry, letting me sob against his shoulder. He tells me that he had already told Christina what happened before coming to me, that way the kids would be in safe hands. Declan and her son Tanner were the same age, and he and Rowan often spent nights with her and vice versa, so we knew we had some time before Declan really started asking questions.
Sadly, he had gotten used to his father's absence.
"Jewel is never going to know her dad." I say when I'm a bit calmer, "Rowan doesn't really even remember him. Declan will forget him."
"We won't let that happen." Eric replies quietly.
Eric stayed with me that night, just letting me cry, talk and even yell when it got too heavy. He may not have been friends with Four, but he was good friends with me, and he proved it that first night.
The first couple of nights were the hardest, and my circle of friends helped me every step of the way when it came to supporting the kids and me. Telling Declan was the worst, and it was something that Eric, Will and Christina were able to help me with since the three of them had stepped in when Four had suddenly stopped seeing his boys.
Christina and Will were usually here during the day with us, and Eric had started coming by every evening after work, and staying until I was ready for bed. Eric and I had already spent a lot of time together before Tobias died, and he was great with all of the kids even though he'd sworn he had no idea how to act around children, especially tiny babies like Jewel. For that first week, every evening like clockwork Eric would come by. He'd help me make dinner, get all of the kids bathed, and he made a point to read to both of the boys before bed.
He's also the person who told me that Tobias' presumed dead mother Evelyn was actually alive, and she had filed a case to have her sons body returned to her as his legal next of kin. I tried to fight it, for the sake of his three children, but I learned that Tobias had a will leaving everything to his mother and nothing to his children. The only thing the children would have from their father was the death benefits awarded by the city that legally Evelyn couldn't touch, everything else was hers.
Evelyn had her own service for Tobias, and she did not allow his children or me to attend. Even though Tobias and I weren't on good terms before his death, and he hadn't been there for his children, I strongly felt like we needed to push forward with the typical celebration of life that is thrown in Dauntless when one of its members passes away. Eric agreed, and he went to Max on my behalf. I don't know how he managed to get Max to agree, but he did and we finally had a way to give my children some sort of closure for the loss of their father.
At least it was something we could put together and record for his children, and our friends are coming by tonight to begin planning the best way for us to say goodbye to the person we remembered, not the person he became.