AN: I usually don't respond to anonymous trolls, I've been writing on this site since 2016 and my usual thing is to ignore the people who send nasty reviews via "Guest" and just roll with the punches. However, when you personally attack me, it's a different issue. So, to the guest keyboard warrior, please pick up the original Divergent series, written by the talented Veronica Roth if you want to read the canon story, with a Four/Tris relationship. Don't tell me you hate me, and hate the story, and hate that it's not Four/Tris, and hate that it's Eris, and that I suck at everything. Troll elsewhere, this isn't your story and frankly I can write whatever I damn well choose, just like you can choose not to read it. Move on.
Now to the other reviewers who give me their true opinions, without personal attacks, thank you. I try to write the type of stories that I would want to read, and I take pride in delivering an enjoyable reading experience to my readers. I have my faults, especially because I'm a romantic at heart so I'm usually in a tearing hurry to get our favorite couple together, haha. Even if I'm in full edit mode on a story, I take my reviews into consideration and will change directions, pace, etc. if it's what is wanted. At the end of the day, I'm here for you :)
I'm a thick skinned woman, I can take all criticism, but I'm not here for the hate.
Okay, rant over. I hope that you enjoy the new chapter.
It's been a couple of days since Max had sent Eric to talk to me, however before I could make it up to his office he was called away from the faction. I did come home that night to find Eric making dinner for the kids, and we fell into the familiar routine of having dinner, then baths, reading and tucking in.
Declan has been having a hard time lately, and tonight he didn't want Eric to read to him. Eric took it in stride, and went to read to Rowan instead while I went in to spend time with my oldest.
"You okay sweet-pea?" I ask him once I'm settled into the bed next to him. He shakes his head no and I turn so I can see him, "What's wrong?"
"Miss Wilson said my daddy was dewe to pick us up tonight but he wasn't. I thought it was daddy but it was Ewic. Wowan ran to Ewic like he was daddy. Why does he think Ewic is daddy?" Declan asks through tears.
"Oh baby boy, come here," I pull him into my arms and he lays his sweet little face against me and cries, "Rowan doesn't remember your daddy, Eric and I try to tell him about your daddy but he doesn't remember him at all. He was only a baby when your daddy left."
"Why did he leave?" Declan asks again.
I think back to my session with Dr. Cuffee earlier, and I finally decide to take her advice.
"Declan, we don't know why Daddy left. He made decisions on his own, and he never told me what made him decide to leave." I reply.
"Was it becauwse of me? Or Wowan or Jewel?"
"No, it wasn't you, or your brother, or your sister or me. Daddy left because he chose to. When we were supposed to see him that day, maybe he would have told us. Daddy left because there was something he needed to fix, not because of us." I reply.
"Do you want Ewic to be our daddy?" He asks.
"Baby boy, that's not up to me. Whatever you, Rowan and Jewel want is what I will want too. Is it hard for you to have Eric here?" I ask.
He just looks up at me and his brown eyes fill with tears. He looks so much like Tobias, and it is killing me seeing him in this type of pain.
"It's okay, Declan. If you need a break, we can take a break." I say quietly.
"Will you wead my stowy?" He asks, pointing to the book on his nightstand. I pull it down and take the bookmark out, starting from the spot Eric left off. Within minutes, Declan is fast asleep. I slip away, giving him a kiss on his forehead and covering him up before slipping out of the room.
Eric is downstairs cleaning the kitchen and I join him. We clean in silence, and when we're done he finally turns me so I'm facing him.
"What happened?" He asks.
"When you picked them up today from daycare, and the worker announced you as their dad, it bothered him. He thought that Tobias was there. It confused him that Rowan thinks you're his dad and that Declan remembers Tobias. We talked about it, and he asked me if it was his fault that Tobias left." I stop talking and let the tears fall.
"What can I do to make this better, Tris?" He asks and I shake my head, "What does Declan need?"
"I don't know. I asked him if he needed a break and he just started crying. He finally asked me to read his book and he fell asleep almost immediately. I don't know, Eric. I don't know if this is all too much for him." I reply.
"I can give him a break. Maybe he needs some time to work through things without me being around. This is a lot for him, losing Four twice now. We've always known that Declan was going to have the harder time with everything, he remembers his dad and he misses him." Eric says quietly.
"You know he's not upset with you, he's just so hurt." I reply and Eric pulls me close to him and wraps me in his arms.
"It's okay, Tris. Whatever the kids need, I'm here, even if it's for me to give them space."
When he left that night it was with a promise to me that he was only a text or call away if anything came up. I took Declan to an extra therapy appointment the next morning, and in speaking with Dr. Roberts there were no new areas of concern. His therapist was of the opinion that Declan was mourning the loss of his father, and he was confused because he feels that loving Eric and viewing him as a father figure is somehow disrespectful to his father's memory.
"Tris, I believe you and Eric are both doing the right things when it comes to the children. You are both respecting the boundaries that Declan is establishing, and giving him the freedom to work through his feelings without feeling pressured to move on. Declan has made amazing progress, and today when he told me how much he does love Eric, he showed signs of feeling like his love for Eric was going to take his love for Four away. I've told him that is okay to love them both, and explained that a heart is designed to expand as large as it needs to fill all of the love he has inside for everyone. He's coming to terms with everything, Tris." He explained.
"That's a simple, yet absolutely beautiful way of looking at it. Thank you Dr. Roberts."
When I pick Declan up from one of Dr. Roberts assistants and walk him to daycare he's in better spirits, and I promise to pick him up myself after work.
It's a pretty busy day at the tattoo parlor, with Bud, Lauren and me all on duty and all working through a slew of walk ins. The newest batch of initiates arrived today, and in true Dauntless fashion we have had several come in for tattoos in order to feel a sense of separation from their previous faction. I'd just finished up a tattoo on an Erudite transfer when Lauren sticks her head behind my curtain.
"Dustin is here for you." She says.
"I don't have an appointment with him until Thursday," I scowl while flipping through my appointment log.
"He just asked for you, want me to send him back?" She asks and I nod.
"Hey there," He says with a wide smile, which I return, "I'm on my lunch break, was wondering if I could steal you away for a quick lunch down in the cafeteria?"
"I think I could go, let me check with Lauren and Bud-"
"We've got you covered, get going." Bud interrupts from his station next to me.
"Okay then."
Dustin and I chat while in line for food and we grab a smaller table away from the chaos that comes with the new transfers.
"I forgot today was choosing day. Any ideas how many we got?" He asks.
"According to the several I tattooed already, it sounds like at least twenty five transferred and around the same stayed from Dauntless." I reply as I drag a fry through ranch dressing.
"No ketchup?" He asks, quirking an eyebrow at me.
I scrunch my face, "Ketchup is gross."
"Noted. How do you manage to hate ketchup but have three kids? I know the boys must love it."
"Oh they do, I'm just careful not to touch it. Eric usually rinses those dishes for me," I reply with a laugh.
"Wow." He shakes his head.
"What?" I ask.
"You have the youngest leader washing dishes at your house. How do you manage that?" He laughs.
"He's not the tyrant people think he is." I smile back.
"Enough about Eric, tell me more about you. Was tattooing your first choice?" He asks.
"I actually had wanted to join the leadership apprenticeship, but there weren't enough spots available by the time it got to me. I finished fifth, and there were only two spots available. I'd thought about the ambassador program, but I'm kind of glad I didn't get into either of those professions because one of my best friends is in the program and I swear in the over five years since we finished initiation he's only here for about a third of that time."
"Oh yeah, you mean Peter Hayes right?" He asks and I nod, "Yeah he trained with me when he did his assignment in the control room. I've not seen him in months. So how'd you go from wanting to be in the government to tattoos?"
"I've always loved to draw, and tattooing is it's own form of art, so I had a long talk with Tori and showed her my portfolio and she hired me on the spot."
"Lucky her, your work is impeccable. You always have the toughest schedule to work with. I was surprised to see you available for walk in's today." He remarks.
"We always keep choosing day open." I reply.
We chat more, with Dustin filling me in on life in the control room, and some of the hilarious things he's seen since working there. I'm laughing at one of his stories when I can feel someone watching me, and my eyes meet the silvery grey ones of Eric, who's sitting with the newest initiates. I smile at him but his face remains stoic, and I wonder if an initiate has already gotten under his skin.
Dustin and I continue to talk, but I'm aware of Eric's eyes on me for the entire rest of the meal. When we go to toss our trash, we get caught in the rush of the new initiates, and Dustin unexpectedly puts an arm around my shoulders while walking with me out of the cafeteria, helping to guide me though the throng of people.
"Sorry, it was crazy in there, didn't want to get separated before I had a chance to talk to you some more. Think we may be able to get dinner sometime soon?" He asks.
I watch as Eric walks out of the doors and he looks right over at where I'm standing with Dustin.
"I've got to get back to work, thanks for lunch." I reply and Dustin follows my line of sight to where Eric is waiting down the hall, presumably for me.
"Thanks for coming with me," He says. He looks over at Eric again, and back to me. He leans towards me and before I know it he has pressed his lips to mine. I move away from him quickly.
"What the hell, Dustin?" I ask angrily, but he just shakes his head and smiles before walking away.
I walk towards Eric and he doesn't move from his spot on the wall, leaning back with his arms crossed across his chest, "What was that?" He asks.
"He's just a friend, I have no idea why he did that." I reply and I can see his Adam's apple move as he swallows, but he says nothing in response, "Say something." I press.
"Sorry for interrupting your lunch date." He says with a scowl.
"It wasn't a date, it was lunch with a friend, and he crossed a line." I begin but the voice of our head leader interrupts our conversation.
"There you are," Max says as he approaches us, "Tris, I just dropped by the tattoo parlor, I let Bud know you'd be late returning from lunch, he said you can just stay later since they're stacked with initiates today. Can you come with me for that meeting I promised you?"
"Um, my kids..."
"I'll pick them up and start dinner." Eric says. The scowl is gone, but I still can't get a read on him.
"Okay." I say to both of them and Max gestures for me to walk with him.
I follow him to his office, where he apologizes for making me wait for the answers I was promised about the investigation into my ex husbands death. He started our conversation by telling me that Tobias was shot by a factionless man using one of the weapons that had been reported as stolen from our armory. The man who had shot him had recently been taken into custody, and he was talking in an effort to save his own life and expose Evelyn for the monster she is.
Evelyn had reached out to Tobias two days after Rowan's birth, and at first he had ignored the carefully coded messages he was receiving from her. When Marcus Eaton suddenly died, Tobias was granted permission to leave the faction to attend his funeral, and it was after the service that he came face to face with the woman who had abandoned him when he was just seven years old. They had talked for over three hours that first meeting, and afterward Tobias began sneaking out of the faction to spend more time with her. At first, it had been easy for him to cover his movements, because being a leader he was given free rein to move amongst the factions to monitor security. However, when weapons began to disappear from the Dauntless armory, and he was suddenly gone for hours at a time without explanation his movements began to be monitored.
Tobias had started working willingly with Evelyn, and at first it appears he had no idea he was doing anything more than helping her factionless followers train to protect themselves from the harsh environment they were forced to live in. Evelyn convinced Tobias she simply wanted the factionless to be recognized as an equal part of the city. She wanted there to be a sixth faction, where her people weren't those who had been thrown away or cast out. They'd have opportunities, homes, jobs and a say in the city government.
Tobias believed that she was right, and why wouldn't he? We had been raised in Abnegation and taught to respect and care for the factionless. They weren't cast outs to us, they were people.
The investigation uncovered that he was simply establishing a relationship with his mother for the first almost eight months of their reconnection. She had invited him to leave Dauntless and live in the factionless community that she had organized. He was ready to do it, he told his mother he was going to come home to talk to me so that the boys and I could come with him. He was ready to fight for the factionless, and to help his mother get them the recognition they deserved, and he believed with our shared upbringing in Abnegation I would be ready to help fight for them too.
Except Evelyn didn't want just recognition and a happy family life, she wanted power, and Max's investigation had shown she had been working with other powerful people within the factions to overthrow the government. He couldn't elaborate on that since it was now a new investigation based on what his informants were alleging. Evelyn didn't want me, or our children to distract her son from the mission she had been grooming him for. She told him this, threatened to expose Tobias as a faction traitor, and threatened my and his children's lives if he didn't leave us behind in Dauntless. She told him to make a clean break or she would make it for him.
So he left us, a decision it appears that he made under duress in an effort to protect us. Even though he ultimately made the decision to get involved with his mother, he still likely did so because of his awful childhood. I don't know it as fact, but I can imagine he sought out love from the only parent he thought he could get it from.
Max isn't sure what his intentions were the day he was killed, but his informants had alleged that Evelyn caught wind of Tobias's request to visit with his children. In her eyes, that was the ultimate form of betrayal, and she had ordered her troops to kill her own son before he exposed her.
As I made my way from his office, I was struggling with this new information, knowing that while my children's father was technically a traitor, he was doing everything he could to protect us from the monster his mother had become. I'm completely numb by the time I return to work, my interrupted conversation with Eric pushed out of my mind for now.