AN: Thank you so much for the reviews. I love getting them, and it makes me so happy to hear from you all.
I run the entire way to the infirmary, bumping into people on my route and shouting apologies over my shoulder. I wasn't focused, I'd heard Tori when she told me she was taking the shop phone off the hook, which means I always turn my ringer up on my phone. Instead, I flirted with Dustin, and as a result I had forgotten to turn my fucking ringer on.
I can't believe I let myself slip.
I rush through the doors, where the receptionist points me towards an exam room. I can hear my daughter's cries, and I can feel tears burning at my eyes. I can't believe I did this. I enter the room and find Eric sitting on the exam table, with Jewel in her wrap on his chest, Rowan wrapped around his side, and Declan laying with his head on Eric's lap.
"Oh babies, are you guys okay?" I ask.
"Sowe thwoat mama." Declan replies, his voice scratchy and cheeks rosy.
Rowan whines and reaches for me, so I pick him up and he burrows his face into my neck.
Jewel whimpers when I touch her, so I leave her with Eric and sit down next to him, letting Declan snuggle between Eric and me. Eric seems uncomfortable, and even a bit preoccupied as he texts with his one free hand.
"I'm so sorry, my phone's ringer was off and Tori had the shop phone off the hook. I had an appointment, and I was distracted, and I can't believe I did that-"
"Tori replied to my texts right before you showed up here, she filled me in on everything that was happening in the shop." He snaps at me, then sighs, "The daycare got in touch with me, that's all that matters right now. They all have fevers, the boys say they have sore throats, and Jewel has been fussy since I picked them up."
"I can take them if you need to get back to work," I offer and he shakes his head.
"I've got this, I already sent a text to Max to let him know. Why did you send them to daycare sick?" He replies tersely.
"I wouldn't have done that," I reply angrily, "I brought them all down here two days ago and was told they all just had head colds. They were all fine this morning," I shake my head. Eric sighs next to me but says nothing else, so I just cuddle Rowan close and run a hand down Declan's back.
After tests are run we find out all of the kids have strep throat, and all are given oral antibiotic serums to take for the next two weeks. I pick up the prescriptions from a very annoyed looking nurse, who keeps shooting dirty looks to Eric and back to me. Eric is not interacting with her at all, and she is glaring daggers at me. As I'm about to say something to her, Jewel starts to cry and I simply smile at the strange nurse and follow Eric out of the infirmary. He helps me get the kids home, and he changes Jewel while I help Declan and Rowan into pajamas as well.
"Mama, where's Daddy?" Rowan asks as I help him with his socks.
"He's putting your sister in her crib for a nap." I reply without thinking, and when my mind catches up with the words I just said I feel Declan's dark brown eyes trained on me.
"Dats not our Daddy." Declan says angrily to me.
"Declan, I'm sorry..." I begin and he runs out of the door, and straight into Eric.
"How about I make some chicken noodle soup boys?" Eric asks from the doorway, where I surprisingly see Declan's tiny body wrapped around Eric's legs. Declan and Rowan both nod, "Do you want to wait up here or go downstairs and find something to watch on TV while I make it for you?"
"Downstairs." Both boys answer and I lift Rowan up while Eric does the same for Declan.
Once the boys are settled on the couch, I join Eric in the kitchen, "I'm sorry that your day was ruined." I say as I get the can of soup from the pantry, "I can handle things here if you want to head back to work."
"I definitely don't want to go back to work, they can handle things without me for a change. I'm pretty tired of holding things down while Max takes for fucking ever to figure out who he wants to bring into leadership from the apprenticeship team. He's super paranoid since Four ended up pulling the shit he did, but if he doesn't replace him soon he's about to be looking for two new leaders." He grumbles.
"Eric, shhh..." I say and he jerks his eyes up to me.
"What? Is it suddenly an issue that I'm tired of holding things down while Max gets his head out of his ass? What is your problem?" He says.
"Maybe it was you reminding me that my ex was a traitor, or that he's dead. While both are true, I'd appreciate you not discussing it in front of the kids." I reply.
"They didn't hear me." He rolls his eyes.
"What's gotten into you?" I ask.
"It was a dumb thing to say, and I apologized. Let it go." He replies angrily.
"Eric, I don't know what's going on with you, but you can go. I can finish up the kids' dinner, and you can go take care of whatever you need to. It's obvious that something's bothering you, and you and I fighting isn't going to fix it. I appreciate what you did today, but for now I'd like you to leave."
He's angry, and I can tell he wants to lash out, but he looks over at where my boys are cuddled together on the couch watching cartoons. He simply walks over to them, says something quietly to each and then grabs his bag and leaves.
I wanted so badly to talk to him, especially since I know he overheard Declan's reaction to what I said to Rowan, but it was obvious he was in a foul mood and I didn't want him to feel obligated to be here.
The kids barely eat, and Jewel wakes up as well, so I cuddle all three of them on the couch while the cartoons play. Jewel is fussy and overly tired, but she finally nurses and lets me put her back to bed. I've barely gotten the boys settled into their own beds before my text alert goes off and I see it's from Eric asking if he can come back over. I finally reply that he can and within minutes he's let himself in and joined me on the couch.
"I'm sorry. You're right, I was in a pissy mood earlier and I took it out on you." He says.
"Was it because I didn't answer my phone?" I ask and he shakes his head.
"No. I realize you were working and it was an unusual circumstance for Tori to have taken the phone off the hook. Before you got down to the infirmary today, I told you that that Tori finally had texted me back. So I called her and she told me you were in an intense session with Dustin when I was trying to get a hold of you and it just hit me wrong." He replies.
"Why?" I ask, and I turn on the couch so I can face him, "Why does he bother you so much?"
"Is there something going on between the two of you, Tris?"
I don't get a chance to answer, because I can hear Declan crying out for me and we both run upstairs. Eric picks Declan up and takes him to the bathroom, and rubs his little back as he vomits. Eric doesn't miss a beat, the leader who has told me repeatedly he has no idea how to handle children is soothing my oldest son like a father would. When Declan asks if he can sleep in my bed, I don't hesitate, but when he asks for Eric to stay with him I try to find a way to sway him. Eric doesn't let me, instead he agrees that he will as long as I'm okay with it, and when I agree he joins me in my bed for the first time since we became friends almost two years ago.
Sometime during the almost full two weeks that my kids battled their infections, Eric basically moved in. On the really rough nights when all of the kids were throwing up he ended up staying in bed with us and waking up at the first sound of retching from any of my babies. He made the plain buttered noodles that the boys thought were some sort of gourmet delicacy, as many times as they asked for them while they were sick. He helped me clean up blowout diapers from my sick five month old daughter, changed sheets while I bathed the kids, and held each of them while they whimpered and cried in pain. He would lay down with Declan and Rowan, who would cling to Eric until they would fall asleep, while Jewel was strapped to me in her carrier so I could clean the house when the boys slept. We would take turns sleeping or cleaning while the kids slept and somehow we both managed to avoid getting sick ourselves.
Declan and Jewel had gotten better, but Rowan was still sick and the doctor had ordered a different serum to treat him. Christina and Will had thoughtfully suggested that Declan stay with them so he could avoid getting sick again, leaving us with just one sick kid to isolate. I'd thought that Eric would go back to his own place, but he'd been staying with me, and we'd woken up the past several mornings alone in my bed wrapped around each other.
We were still avoiding a conversation about what was going on between us.
While the kids were finally down for a nap, I decided to run downstairs to pick up the new prescription for Rowan. Once in the infirmary, I am face to face with the nurse who was glaring at me during my last visit. Her name tag says Esme, a name I'm completely unfamiliar with, and I take a deep breath before asking for the prescription.
"So, you're Tris?" She asks, while looking me up and down. She has bright blue eyes, dark brown hair and piercings in her nose and lips.
"Yes, I am," I answer.
"You're rather plain. I can't believe I was worried about you." She smirks.
"What are you talking about?"
"Is Eric still at your place?" She asks bluntly.
"Yes…" I trail off, and her dark pink lips turn down in a frown.
"It's only one kid that's still sick, right?" She asks and I nod, "So that means maybe he won't have to babysit anymore?" She asks.
"Excuse me?" I ask.
"I haven't seen him since he brought your kids in a couple weeks back, and before that I hadn't been able to spend any time with him in months. He's been spending all of his time with you, and if I weren't a very patient and trusting woman I'd swear he was cheating on me, but now that I am getting a good look at you, I have nothing to worry about." She sighs.
"Cheating on you...what?" I stammer.
"I'm sure he told you that he and I were together, and I'm sure he told you I haven't been able to see him, intimately, since before your husband died." She huffs, "I'm a patient woman, but his excuses are wearing thin. Look, you need to start taking care of your own kids so I can actually see my boyfriend."
I can feel my anger building, "He's never mentioned you at all. Neither my children nor I are keeping him from any commitments or relationships. This is a conversation you should be having with him, not me."
"Oh I already let him know that I'm off at eight tonight and that he can stop by my apartment anytime afterward. He doesn't even need to wait, since you're on the way home you can just relieve him of watching the one kid and he can let himself in to my apartment, he knows the code." She smirks.
"Good to know," I reply back sarcastically.
"You need to back off, he doesn't want kids, and he's just there because he feels sorry for you. It's frankly embarrassing that you can't seem to raise your own kids."
"Keep my children, me and anything to do with my family out of your fucking mouth," I growl, before grabbing Rowan's medication and heading back up to my apartment.
When I let myself in, Eric meets me in the kitchen but when he moves towards me I move away, "I never asked you to stay here, you know that right?" I ask.
"Where'd that come from?" He asks.
"Esme is expecting you at her apartment. Since you'd been blaming watching my kids on why you couldn't spend time with her, I guess she decided to come straight to me instead." I say angrily, "I can handle Rowan, you should go."
"I didn't blame the kids…"
"Really? Because she wanted to confirm you had fulfilled your babysitting duties since you'd been putting her off for weeks now." I challenge.
"I wasn't just babysitting them- " He argues and I cut him off.
"She also said it's a good thing she's not the jealous type, since she'd think you were cheating on her if she was. She'd like to have her boyfriend back." I reply angrily.
"Tris, I can explain."
"Oh and the code to her apartment is still the same, so let yourself in if you get there before she does. Eric, go live your life." I wave him off and head back to my bedroom, shutting the door behind me and laying across my bed.
The same bed that Eric had been sleeping in for over two weeks with my children and me, and for the last several nights with just me.
He opens the door and stands in the doorway, "Tris, what are you saying?" He asks.
"I think it's time that you go. I do appreciate everything you've done for me and the kids, but it's better that we get back to normal before they get the wrong idea." I replied.
"Is that really what you want?" He asks.
I turned to look at him, "You got pissed because someone kissed me without my permission, but yet you have a fucking girlfriend? When were you going to tell me about her, Eric?"
"That's not fair, she's not my girlfriend. She was someone I was casually seeing before you, and my involvement with her doesn't impact the way I feel about you now."
"Does she know she's not your girlfriend? Because she sure as hell doesn't think that's the case." I reply.
"It's not like that."
"So you weren't involved with her before he died, and you didn't just put her on pause to be there for a friend?" I press.
"I haven't really talked to her…" He trails off.
"Exactly, which is why I have an angry woman telling me to send her boyfriend home to her." I reply.
"There's no relationship there-" He begins and I cut him off.
"If you want to stop fucking someone, you don't get to use babysitting my kids as your out. If you don't want a relationship with someone, you don't get to use me or my kids as an excuse. That is so fucked up. You can man up and have an honest conversation with her about your feelings." I reply angrily.
"She's not the person I want to have that conversation with, I've been wanting to have it with you, and the day I wanted to have it I find some other dude kissing you!"
"Oh yeah, because that was the only time we have been together in the last couple of years that you could have had a conversation with me." I reply sarcastically.
"You haven't exactly made me think there's anything to have a conversation about, Tris. You have Dustin after all-"
He's cut off by a wail over the baby monitor, and I move to go to Jewel's room, looking over my shoulder at Eric, "I'm going to go take care of my daughter, you can get your things and go."
"I'll go get the baby settled and we can talk."
"No, we can't. You can go back to your relationship with Esme, and I can go back to raising my kids, alone." I bite back.
"Tris, don't do this. Let's talk about this. I don't want to leave like this, and I don't want to leave the kids. I've been here Jewel's whole life, most of Rowan's and Declan finally trusts me. They're like my own kids-"
I cut him off, "No, these are MY children. I will take care of MY daughter, and I expect you to be gone by the time I am done. We are not someone's part time family, and we're definitely not the place you go when you want to keep your girlfriend hanging while trying to figure out if you want more from us." I reply angrily before leaving the room.