I walked along the sand in a light summer dress, people were throwing food into the largest wooden pot of boiling water I have ever seen. Lewis was sad I did not bring something but I never knew I needed to, let alone have something to even put in it.

I felt a light hand on my shoulder making me almost jump, Sab gave a small timid look. With joy I followed him towards the others. "That is large." I joked to him and he just nodded.

"One year Sam put a pound of anchovies in the potluck soup." I laughed as I looked at the blonde down the beach. "Ever wondered why Sam leads the town in community service hours?"

"I did not know that, that is funny." I really enjoy him.

We passed a large table filled with food. I noticed some small pizza bagels so I stopped to try some as Sabastian walked on.

I got so excited to try all this food. While I collected random food I made my way next to Shane. I smiled at him as he spread some red sauce on a cracker. He looked at me sadly. "You don't get hot pepper chutney like this in the big city." I smiled as I grabbed a plate and did what he was doing.

Tasting it it was overly spicy but good, familiar to what I eat at home called red pepper jelly but a lot more spicy. "You need to add some goat cheese to it as well, there was something similar down there." I pointed. He peered around and headed that way giving a small look back at me I just filled my plate.

I half waited as I looked slowly but he just walked off making me sad, I let it go and headed over to the trio with my packed plate of food.

I had fun eating like a pig and hanging with my people, the soup was tasted right at noon, some fancy dressed man took the first bite but I was distracted by Sam who was trying to lift a large stick that was stuck under a rock. He pulled it out making him fly backwards and the stick hit my leg like a whip.

I made a pained noise as he stood up apologizing but I just laughed as I rubbed it but that made Abigail punch him in the arm so then we were both in pain.

It was a nice morning.

I eventually tried to the soup. They all just threw random shit in there so unsure what it tasted like. The craziest shit I have ever eaten. How they made it actually edible was mind blowing.

By 1:30 pm it was pretty much over so I stuffed some food in a bag to eat later and headed home.

It was early in the day and this may be one of my last day's, I picked up my cat and cuddled it, she loves it here, she runs into the forest every morning I don't think she will be coming with me to the city, I was confused on what to do with her.

Abigail likes this area, maybe she can watch for her until the new person takes over and I hope they treat her like a friend. It feels wrong to leave her but also wrong to take her to a city that she wont really get outside again and if she did it is all roads and no tree's around my home.

I gathered up all I had and took it to Pierre's, I can't take all these candles home, I glanced at my plants but sadly they wont be grown. Once I handed them over he pulled out a box for me to take. "For Marnie."

I nodded. "But I just saw her in the town, she may be..." In she walked. "Right here." We smiled at her as she looked between us a little baffled at the smiles on our faces.

She came close. "Oh, I was waiting for this." She looked at it excited. "However I need to, talk to, Mayor Lewis while I am closed." She glanced at me. "Could you just drop this off in my front room Cy." I looked down but nodded.

She does not hide this affair very well, how does no one know? I never talk about it as it was a secret so who knows, maybe people do.

I just got in the truck and headed that way, I pulled in and just walked in plopping it on the counter with a huff as it was heavy. "Marnie?" I heard Shane's voice, I smiled and moved between the doorway.

"Nope, just me." He paused looking me over and walked off towards his room, completely ignoring me and that was it.

What the fuck is his problem?

I slightly moved into view from the hallway, might as well ask its now or never.

"Why are you treating me like this?" I spoke loudly at him but he continued to walk away making me slightly follow. "Are you ignoring me because I stopped you?" I asked with sadness in my voice.

He paused and looked at me. "You think that?" He asked.

I nodded making him move towards me quickly his hand ran through my hair as he was kissing me again like this, a kiss that I almost forgot what I was mad about when I pushed him away.

Then he turned away, I was so fucking confused and pissed off.

"Okay you can't do that to me."

"What?" He stopped moving, facing away.

"You can't just kiss me like that and then ignore me." He just stared at the ground. "I am not a whore you can just.. be with and ignore, I wont be your crutch when the booze just ain't working."

"You're not a whore." He said quietly.

"Then what do you want from me?" He did not speak, I almost walked away before I turned back to him. "I wont let you pull me down again, I care about you but I can not help if you wont help yourself." Marnie's words coming from my mouth and I regretted it right away.

Sometimes I feel like I say the wrong thing.

"Ya, you can't help." He was angry again.

"All I wanted was for you to smile." I said calmly.

"That is never going to happen." He looked at me his eye's filled with anger and sadness, it pulled at my heart.

"Well I am here to listen when you want to talk but I can't be this person for you." I waved my arm over me.

"I don't talk."

"And that is why it is exactly what you need." He just continued to walk and not long he was in his bedroom shutting his door. I just spun and walked away.

What ever was here or could have been and the reaching out to help him, is over. I am done trying, Marnie was right.

"Bye Shane." I said as I drove away.

I drove to Sabs as Abigail wanted to play one last short game of that chronical shit, knowing Tomorrow a man is coming, it was a busy day.

I opened my eye's as I lied in my bed hearing a strange noise, I slowly stood up making sure I was covered and looked out my door. I could hear grunts from the darkness making me get ready to hit something and walked forward.

I heard a noise like something fell and I saw a flash of blue.

Shane had fallen over and was just laying there passed out in my yard. The ax was stuck into a tree with many gauges in random places.

I sighed looking down at him. "Shane?" I squatted and tried to wake him before I got his arm around my shoulder and he was still drunk but he was awake enough for me to almost drag him to my couch and I dropped him on it.

"You take it away." I heard him mumble. "You kiss me and it stops." I just stared down, feeling sad and hurt. "I just want it to stop." I put a blanket over him and grabbed the mop bucket putting it next to the couch. "It needs to stop." He sounded like he could cry before he seemed like he fell asleep.

It was a hot summer night so I did not need the fireplace as I grabbed a bottle of water and placed it near that box I was using as a table. The man is wasted. I looked down sad, he woke me right up with nerves.

I moved to the fridge and grabbed myself a pop, I turned and he was sitting up rubbing his head so rough, his body tense.

I leaned on the counter. "What happened to you?" I said quietly unsure he would hear.

"Nothing." He said sadly as his hands dropped and he looked at me.

"Something."

"Nothing, things I should not be sad about, I should just man up." Before he repeated the last quietly, then he stared at me before standing up.

"I am sorry." He stumbled closer. "I never wanted you to feel like... I don't want to." He paused and looked on the ground as he swayed. "Your not a whore, never to me" He spoke so softly.

That made me feel better before he looked up at me and just stared, unsure how I was supposed to react. I don't want to be pulled down and treated like this. One day he kisses me like that and the next I am nothing.

His eye's glazing over before he looked so sad making my heart hurt, when I saw his eye's go down me putting a spark into them making me feel nervous as he walked closer to me slowly and I crossed my arms.

The smell of beer was so strong it was hard to breath. "I should not have turned you down and been an ass that first night, why could I not be an ass." He closed his eye's inches from my face.

"Shane." I spoke softly.

"Then you were over it, now you hate me." He was inches from my face, he opened his eye's and turned away with a slight stumble. "And I can't stop thinking about you." That sent a flutter through me.

"I don't hate you." I said quietly.

"Yes you do." He tripped and held himself up on my couch. "I am not pushing you away because I am mad, I just, I just can't." He turned to sit on the back of the couch crossing his arms. "I am sorry I just can't."

"Can't what?" I asked.

He just looked down and did not answer.

"I stopped you that night because I am one kind of broken when sober and one kind of broken when drunk." He slightly looked at me as he swayed so confused. "I stopped you, because I just can't do, that, sober, even if I want to. I just never can."

"Wait?" He locked his bloodshot eye's with mine, he was a ragged mess. "You stopped me because, it was not me?" He looked sad making me nod as he looked at the floor. "I thought it was me." He rubbed his head with both hands.

"I am as much of a mess as you are Shane." I said Sadly.

He was quiet. "I can't get out of the hole." He leaned back almost falling. "I should just man up." He slurred making me almost not hear that.

"What is that? Who is telling you to man up?"

"My father, told me I would never amount to anything but a failure like he was, he was right."

"No he was not right." He looked at me. "You have real issues Shane and you don't need to man up, you need help."

"If you are a mess how do you smile, how are you not angry all the time?" He stepped to me before he fell into me making me catch him. He then stood up his face inches from mine, his eye's locking with mine again and he kissed me, pressing into me and the counter when it felt like all his emotions were in this kiss.

His hands wrapped around my waist and again I almost forgot, everything. It was his hands, his lips and body that was all that was in this world. He pulled away and leaned his head on mine with his eye's closed looking sad but it felt right standing here like this.

It bothers me it felt so right because I will not be that girl.

I sighed. "I do fake a smile quite often but I also have tried to find the joy in life." He just grabbed me in a hug pressing his head into my neck, his arms tightened and it was a nice hug. It almost felt like he cares and I felt slightly safe. Feelings I never had from a hug before. I hugged him back wanting to make him feel better. "I also had someone professional to talk to."

We stood there for a moment and I felt some love in my heart scaring me so I pushed it away with a strong urge to push him away but I held back. "I am not angry like you because I took my anger out on a punching bag for years learning how to box, that is why I figured you would love to chop down a tree."

"You box?" He asked before leaning up. "Could you kick my ass?" He asked interested.

"Don't try me." I joked.

He shoved his face into my neck again. "You feel so." He nuzzled his head into me, other then the strong smell of beer he was kind of turning me on making me hit myself inside. When his lips started to kiss my neck as he moved up to my ear, I closed my eye's as it felt so good. I grabbed his coat into a fist in my hand but sadly fear was boiling up in my heart.

He paused for a second before he walked away making me calm back down.

I want to hit myself in the head somedays.

"I need to go." He stumbled before he fell onto the couch making him flip over it and land half on the cushions half off the couch but it was so comical I just laughed. He almost seemed to tired to get up.

"Or just stay like that." He looked at me with those blue eye's before he nodded and looked like he was going to pass out. I hung around as I think he was really out this time. I tossed a blanket over him and went to bed.

I laid there on my side as I looked into the room, just thinking about him unsure what I am supposed to do. I forgave him tonight and I should not have. I am also so freaking in lust with him, It's bad. Going to need to make sure I don't get to drunk around him or my slutty alter ego will just tear off his clothes.

Rolling on my back I looked up and just stared at the ceiling.

I passed the couch to the bathroom with a yawn, he was still passed out on my couch. I made coffee as quiet as I could. I walked outside and sat in the chair, the cat running into the forest. Peering over his truck was almost into my cabin, one tire up on a stray piece of wood. I stared sadly, he was really drunk huh?

Once the coffee was done brewing I grabbed two mugs and only filled one unsure if he drinks it or how he likes it. He started to shift around on the couch making me peer at him. He sat up and looked around startled before his eye's landed on me.

"How did I get here?" He asked coldly.

"You don't remember?" I filled up the second smaller cup.

He stood up. "What time is it?" I watched him pat his pockets. "Shit."

"It is about 7:45 am." I went to hand him a mug but he did not take it so I placed them on the counter.

"I am late for work." He walked towards the door before looking around. "Where is my phone? Where are my key's?" He would not look at me but I saw his key's lying on the carpet, I picked them up and tossed them to him.

He caught them and almost looked like he was going to say something but he just turned and left. "Please find my phone."

I heard his truck drive away, I then fixed up my coffee with milk and sugar. I gave a look for his phone around the couch but it was just not here.

Leaning on my door I just felt gloomy but none of it matters, sadly he was to drunk to remember one of my more emotional and truthful nights of my life. I don't tell people about me much and I definitely don't tell men about it.

I walked over to the tree and pulled out the ax before I kicked the area around for his phone. I found it as I held onto it and walked my bare feet back inside.

I spent my morning making sure this place was spotless. I set wood in the fireplace to make it look cozy and then I got dressed, did my makeup and hair and put on my most serious outfit out here even if it was full black.

I was sitting with a coffee in a booth at the bar as I checked my phone, my mom sent a text in a reminder like I needed it. It was around 4:45 pm, Sam, Sab and Abigail were nearby at the pool table, knowing who I was waiting for. Their eye's would glance at me and it made me smile a few times.

It was nice to have them as friends.

I will miss them.

The place was gaining people as it was a Friday but no one knew why I sat alone in a booth. A few stopped by to say hi but I was mostly left alone, every time the door open I looked up ready.

I was wishing for wifi as I played sudoku on my phone as it was my only offline game.

Around 5:30 they came over to me and sat down asking what was up, I was so lost I texted my mom but she has not heard anything. Every time the door opened they would jump up from the table like they were not here.

I sat alone with my now empty coffee. If he is not going to be on time I don't need to sit here as I walked over to the others by the pool table and just hung around.

Come six Shane walked in, I watched him sadly but I saw him look at me so I smiled, he just grab the right side of head and went to his spot, he was strangely looking a little embarrassed, that made my eye's grow a little.

He remembers and there is an emotion besides anger towards me even if it was embarrassment.

It warmed me.

I checked the time as I was pacing between watching them play and talk to staring at the door before I leaned on the wall and texted her again as she spoke to him not me but she does not know anything still.

I leaned on the bar and ordered some fries and another coffee, I checked the time I saw Shane look at me so I looked back. "I gave your phone to Marnie, did you get it?" He nodded as he downed a big drink of his beer.

I took my food to the booth again and waited as I ate, it was about seven and I was annoyed when in walked that rich fuck. He scanned the room and looked at me with this glint in his eye. "Oh shit." I said as he walked over filled with pride.

He leaned on the table and took a bit of my fries and ate it making me mad so I glared at him. "I had to make you wait". He stood up and I could see the trio, Shane and Gus were looking at us confused as they watched.

"So you did something?"

"Smart girl, yes, he will not be purchasing your farm, nor will anyone else." He said with a thick threat. "I will never allow it."

He stood up and walked away like he was the shit, giving me this cocky look like he won look at me before he left.

I sat there stunned for a moment as my mind raced but then I felt joy, I stood up as they came towards me confused, I looked at the shocked before my smile morphed on my face. "I am not leaving." I said quietly. "He got him to back out."

They almost seemed shocked at how happy that made me before Sam grabbed me in a hug and I hugged him back as he slightly spun me around, Abigail was yelling so loudly I smiled so big in disbelief. "And he will be on my ass if I find a new buyer."

Abigail yelled. "Beer all around Gus." She bounced on her toes before she hugged me. We moved to the bar to get our drinks, I noticed a few people looked our way confused but Shane just looked at me before he turned back.

We all just chatted at the bar and Gus gave us our drinks. "I can't believe how shady that guy is." She shook her head.

"Ya, I don't like how he fucked with me and I will need to do some revenge shit some day." I joked sipping my beer.

"Damn right." Shane said, I guess he heard it all, I just smiled big at him.

"Ah, city girl your staying so I can't be sad about him, sorry." Sam spoke.

I pulled out my phone. "Be right back, I need to call my mom." I said as I turned to move away.

Sabastian stopped me. "Don't let her talk you out of staying this time, you want to be here, right?" I nodded at him, he is right I walked away and headed outside for more quiet and to really talk to her.

This has been an eventful two day's.