I wake up to the sound of his voice.

"Yeah, honey. It was pretty cut and dry. Your mom can rest now."

One of his children. Kathy finally has justice and I'm so relieved.

"She's okay. She's sleeping. Had a pretty bad headache."

Shit. They know he's with me. Do they mind? Are they upset? Because he really should be at home with them, not here with me.

"I'll tell her. Okay, talk to you later."

Once he stops talking, I focus in on my head and am definitely relieved that although it still aches a little, it is nowhere near as bad as it was when I fell asleep. A hot shower sounds incredible and yup, that's exactly where I'm headed. I sit up slowly, let my equilibrium catch up with me before I stand. I reach up to feel my head and fuck, this bump is going to take forever to go away. I don't know if he hears me or he's coming to check on me because he's at my door before I've even taken a step.

"Hey," he says. "How you feeling?"

"Better. Still aches a little bit but I'm gonna try a shower."

He nods, "Good idea."

When he doesn't leave my room, I eye him suspiciously before walking towards my dresser. My fucking slacks are bothering me and I want some pajamas. As I open my drawer, I look back at him, "Are you just going to stand there the whole time?"

"What? You want me to help you get clothes?"

I try to hide the smile on my face but I can't, "You're such a smart ass."

"Well, I'm just asking."

"No. I think I can handle getting clothes and taking a shower by myself, thank you."

"Okay. Well if you need any help, just call for me."

Holy shit. I know I'm not going to need help and I'm sure he does also but to even suggest helping me take a shower, which I'll be butt ass naked in, throws me for a loop. He needs to calm down. Because we're friends, for now. And when he says shit like that, my fucking blood boils.

"Go away."

He chuckles, "Yes, Captain."

"Don't your kids want you home?"

He chuckles again, "My kids are grown, Liv. Except Eli and he's hanging at Maureen's today."

When I nod and finally grab my white silk pajamas out of my drawer, closing it with my hip, he asks, "Do you want me to go home?"

I sigh. I don't fucking know what I want him to do right now. I want him here but I don't want to talk about what Angela Wheatley said right now and I also don't want us to slip up and do something I'm going to regret later on. Because we still have so much to work on before we can move this thing between us forward. I must be taking too long to answer because he steps a little towards me.

"We're just friends, Olivia. Until you're ready for it to be more."

I actually appreciate this new found openness he seems to have with me. This isn't the first time he's made it clear that I control the pace of whatever this thing is between us. He's not going to pressure me into anything I'm not ready for and I nod. "Okay, my friend, Elliot. Will you please get out of my room because you don't need to know what kind of underwear I wear." Yet. He doesn't need to know yet.

He grins at that, "I'll order Chinese."

"Don't forget my eggrolls."

My shower is long and hot and I really don't care if I scald my skin off because it feels so good. I'm gentle as I comb my shampoo through my hair, my fingertips gently running along this stupid ass bump and I'm thorough when I wash my skin. I'm not sure if it's the smack to the head that compels me to suddenly realizing I need to take a little time to myself or if it's the fact that a single Elliot Stabler is sitting in my living room. But whatever it is makes me pick up my shaving cream and razor, a rare use at this point of my life. I mean, I shave my underarms like clockwork but pieces of my body that no one sees anymore? Has become farther in between. But once in a while, it feels good to feel like a woman.

When everything is to my liking I take a minute to lean my body against the shower wall, let the hot water hit me smack in the forehead and God, I could sleep in here right now. I don't know how long it's been but the tips of my fingers are pruney, my whole bathroom is foggy and I should probably get out of here before Elliot comes looking for me.

I take my time drying, exfoliating, moisturizing before putting my nude bra, undies and pajamas on. I would usually forgo the bra but my breasts are huge now and I don't need the man seeing my nipples between the fabric of my shirt. I quickly towel dry of my hair, run a brush through it only to scuffle it with my fingers and looks over myself in my mirror. Every time I do this, a full pampering of myself, I wonder why I don't do it more often. When I was younger it used to take my hair, my makeup, a nice dress and although that's still nice to do, this look, this me, is what I feel the most sexy in now.

And Jesus Christ, I'm about to show Elliot. Fuck me.

I try to walk down the hallway in confidence but these fucking nerves are driving me insane. He's Elliot. It's not like he's some fucking stranger. The man has seen me at my worst. 72 hours on a stakeout without any shower... that's about the worst it can be so I really shouldn't be nervous. But Elliot is no longer married, Elliot is single and Elliot and I are heading into a territory that we've never been before and fuck, I'm nervous.

He's sitting on my couch, our food and a six pack of beer, which he must have ordered also, on the coffee table in from of him, waiting for me. And I know I must have been in there a while, if the food is already here. Shit, I don't even know what time it is.

As I walk towards the empty spot beside him, I watch him, literally watch him, check me out. Like Jesus Christ, I'm in my non flattering pajamas, with no makeup on my face, with damp hair and he's still looking at me like that. I raise my eyebrows at him when I sit because he doesn't have to be so fucking obvious with it anymore but when he only grins and shrugs I shake my head, "You're horrible."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he says, his hands reaching for the cartons of food in front of us and what the fuck ever Stabler.

I'm not even going to go there with him right now, so I only whisper, "Whatever," before taking the carton of food he's handing to me. Sesame chicken. Has and always will be my favorite. I didn't even realize I hungry I am until the first bite hits my mouth and I hum in satisfaction. Yeah. This is the reason why my hips keep getting bigger, not that I really mind, at least my weight packs on in the right places.

I'm a quarter of the way through my chicken, when he speaks, "The shower help the rest of the way?"

"It did. This bump is going to take a while to go away though." He gives me that look of apology again and I sigh lowly, "Don't, Elliot. It could have been worse." It could have been way worse. If it wasn't for his fast reaction and his body, with the strength of Angela's swing, she could have damn well fractured my skull or worse.

He seems to accept that fact and nods his head. We eat in silence for a few minutes. I'm crunching on my second egg roll, fuck I really was hungry, when he speaks again, "So, besides Tucker, was there anyone else?"

This man. "Why are you obsessed with my dating history?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "I don't know. Probably the same reason you were asking me if you should be in the courtroom when Angela testified."

Son of a bitch. I huff out a small sigh of annoyance because he's right, of course he's right. "I reconnected with Cassidy for a while."

The scoff that leaves his mouth almost causes me to hit him, almost. "You can do better than, Cassidy."

"He's actually smarter than a lot of people give him credit for."

"If you say so."

He's annoyed. Probably more annoyed than he was when he found out about Tucker, unless he processed Tucker on his own and finally brought him up when he knew he wasn't going to get an attitude.

"Get over it, El." Because it happened and there's not a damn thing he can do about it.

"Yup."

It's still an annoyed yup and it's starting to irritate me. He left me for 10 years. He couldn't have expected me to remain celibate that whole fucking time, even though, not to his knowledge, I was celibate majority of that time. "Do you need to leave? Because I'll eat all this food myself."

He looks at me then and when I raise my eyebrows at him because I am not fucking around with his jealousy, he shakes his head, "No. I'm good."

Good. "You asked."

"Yeah, well I'm not asking that again."

"Good. Don't think you need to know who I've been with anyways."

He nods, reaches down to grab his open beer off the coffee table to take a chug and I once more turn my attention to the half-eaten eggroll in my hand. I'm about to take the last bite when he asks, "Besides the obvious, why did you two break up?"

What the fuck? I thought we were done with my dating history. "Seriously? I thought we were forever done with this conversation?"

"I said I wasn't going to ask any more about who you dated. I know about Cassidy now, so I'm just curious."

I sigh. The man really knows how to push his luck with everything. Fuck it, though. "I thought I was pregnant." I see his body go rigid at those words. Wouldn't that have been something else for him to come back to. "Beginnings of menopause. And he was happy about that. We were already having some issues anyways, that just took the cake."

"You've always wanted a family."

"Yeah." Always. But kind of hard to have a baby without a stable relationship and I was definitely never going to be the woman who got pregnant by a stranger and those goddamn adoption agencies had a problem with me being a single woman who was a cop. God, I'm still so thankful for that judge who gave me a chance with Noah. I have no fucking idea where I would be right now if she hadn't. He's my rock, always has been.

"I'm so happy that you got Noah, Liv."

"Me too," I whisper. Because Jesus, I do not want to cry right now. Noah is safer territory for us to talk about. He doesn't make Elliot jealous and he doesn't make me panic. And when is a better time to tell Elliot all about my boy? I take my last bite, put my carton down on the table, grab my beer and tuck my feet up and under me on the couch. "His biological mother was a prostitute. We found her pretty easily and she wanted him back, wanted to do better but she was involved in this whole sex trafficking ordeal and then we found out that the pimp, the man on trial, was his father. Day before she was due to testify against him, we found her dead, apparent overdose. Then every woman backed out of testifying and I literally thought I was about to lose him to this monster that we couldn't nail. But guy screwed himself when he started shooting up the courthouse. My old partner took him out. No relatives left so it was cut and dry after that. Most relieved and happiest moment of my life was being declared his mother."

"He's a great kid. Like you in so many ways."

"Yeah, he is." I pause, take another long drink of my beer, "His biological grandmother showed up a couple years ago." I can see the look of surprise on his face. Yeah Stabler, just imagine the look on mine when she showed up. "At first it was okay. You know, I didn't want to rob him of a grandmother who wanted to be part of his life. He's only ever had me and I wanted her to be around as long as she agreed to my terms. He was only four at the time and he still, at his age now, doesn't fully understand where he came from, so I just wanted to make sure she didn't tell him that he was adopted yet. He's mine, the timing of that conversation is mine to make." He nods his head in agreement but stays quiet. Let's me finish a story that he missed out on. "And she seemed to understand but then she just took him. Claimed that a piece of paper didn't make me his mother and that he belonged to her not to me. Took him out to this cabin that we had to track down so I could get him back."

"Blood doesn't mean anything."

I laugh lightly because I always knew he would say that if he ever heard this story. "I knew you would say that."

"Well, it's the truth. He's always been yours. For her to think she had any right... he's always known you as his mom."

"That's what I told her."

"Where is she now?"

"Shipped her to a hospital. She obviously had some mental issues. Haven't had contact since."

"Good. I'm glad you were able to get him back. Must have been terrifying for you."

"It was." More than terrifying, horrifying, to think that I was never going to see him again. The little boy I dreamed of for so long to be taken so quickly. Still one of my biggest fears to this day.

"You did good for yourself, Liv. Becoming a mother and a Captain, two of the greatest achievements you could have done."

I nod again. Another one of those tight lip nods that I do because I'm trying not to cry. Because, really, I never thought I would hear those words from him. He seems to know I need a minute because he sits in silence next to me, sips on his beer while I sip on mine and although it's a little awkward, it's comfortable. That's the thing about Elliot. I'm comfortable with him. More comfortable than I've ever been with anyone, including those who have been in my bed. I don't have to try with him. This thing between us just is and it's nothing I've ever experienced before. There was a time during our separation that I thought if we ever saw one another again that this, whatever this is that has always been between us, would be gone. That it would be like two strangers meeting for the first time. But it's not. When I'm next to him, it's hard to even believe that he has been gone the last ten years because it feels like no time has passed between us at all.

"So, um, you want to watch a movie?" I ask. As comfortable as it is, we can't just sit here in silence for the rest of the night, or until he decides to go home. "There's this new movie on Netflix, "The Unforgivable," have you watched it yet?"

"I haven't and I'd love to watch it with you."

I smile, stand up to retrieve the remote by the TV and am thankful. Thankful that we got justice for Kathy, thankful that my head doesn't have any permanent damage, thankful that Elliot is here with me and thankful that this thing between us is growing.